


Legs of Steel

by Rejah



Category: One Piece
Genre: Amputation, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Prosthesis, coming to terms with loss of limbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:37:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 104,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rejah/pseuds/Rejah
Summary: A horrifying accident changes Sanji's life forever. Now he has to learn to deal with his new situation - and take revenge on the one he fears the most.





	1. Chapter 1

He was aching all over. Sanji definitely had experienced better mornings than this one: His head thudded as if he were struck by a train, his muscles ached like after a long fight and his legs throbbed.

He opened his eyes. Bright light blinded him and he needed a moment to orientate himself. Then he realized he lay in an infirmary. The ceiling of Chopper’s territory was painted white and it smelled faintly of antiseptics and iron. He turned his head to the side and flinched as his neck gave him a painful twinge.

There was nobody there in the infirmary. Chopper’s chair was empty and stood in front of the low desk Franky had custom-built him because of his small size. Books and papers were piled on it in utter chaos which only Chopper could understand.

He moved his arm to prop himself up and only then noticed the hollow needle attached to his wrist from where a thin tube protruded. He followed the tube with his eyes until his gaze came to rest on the I. V. pole. He had to have it bad if he had needed that.

He blew his hair out of his face. He probably had lain here for a while, at least the dull pain in his back indicated this. Surely Chopper would return shortly to look after him. He always fussed about his patients too much. But he didn’t really feel like waiting until the doctor came back. He was hungry and his hair felt greasy. He needed a bath and then a cigarette.

With his teeth clenched he removed the needle from his arm and pressed the tail of his patient gown on the drop of blood leaking out of the small wound. Then he pushed himself up off of the bed with his arm and stood up.

He crashed on the floor. For some reason he had lost his balance or maybe his legs had tangled themselves up in the blanket – he looked down to free them and froze.

His legs were gone.

They were not tangled, they weren’t _there_. His knees were wrapped in thick white bandages, but there wasn’t anything below them. He stared at the blank space which should be occupied by his legs. His fingers twitched and he bent forward to touch them, his knees moved and for some reason this movement made anything _real_ and he opened his mouth and screamed.

The door to the infirmary burst open, but he didn’t care, his legs were gone, lost, but he still felt them! Chopper came rushing in, closely followed by Zoro and they grabbed him, but he batted their hands away, pressed his eyes tightly shut, opened them again only to see the same again: he was only half a man.

Two burly arms twined around him and held him in place and as he saw Chopper with the needle he fought back and kicked, meaning he tried. He turned his upper body, but he never had much strength in there and had no chance, felt the sting as the needle penetrated his skin and his strength waned in seconds and a cloud gathered in his head.

“Lie him down onto the bed, Zoro,” he heard Chopper say.

He’d taken his legs. Chopper had done this, Sanji thought numbly, as he got laid down on the bed and was covered with the blanket.

Chopper’s voice was calm and impersonal, but it resonated in Sanji’s head as if he dreamed.

“You have lost a lot of blood, Sanji,.” he heard him say. “You should lie down for the next few days.” One of his hooves was placed comfortingly on his shoulder and Sanji would have shrank back if he had any strength left in him. “I am so sorry that I couldn’t save your legs! I couldn’t make it in time. But we will handle it, you hear me? You just have to rest for a while.”

Rest, what should this achieve? Sanji felt himself drift out of consciousness. His legs wouldn’t grow back. They were lost forever. Before he could answer him he sank into the darkness.

 

* * *

 

As he woke up again he wasn’t alone. Chopper was sitting on a chair and immediately noticed that he was awake. Sanji only needed a few seconds until all that happened crashed down on him and he pressed his eyes shut as if that could make all of it undone.

Chopper pulled his chair to the bed with a solemn expression and sat down.

“How do you feel?” he began.

“Are you serious?” Sanjis throat felt dry. “I could use some water.”

Chopper hurried to oblige him and handed him a glass. Sanji tried to hold himself up with one hand, but his muscles didn’t obey him. Chopper transformed himself into Heavy Point and helped him into a sitting position, with the other hoof he put the glass against his lips and thus helped him to drink.

“I was serious,” he said quietly. “I have to know if you are in pain.”

Sanji bit his lip. Normally he dealt with Chopper in another way, less rough, but he couldn’t even see the doctor in the eye.

“Yes. I’m sore all over … my head, my neck, my back.”

Chopper nodded.

“That’s only natural, you obtained a few bruises, but nothing too bad. They should mostly fade away in a week.”

Sanji didn’t answer anything. He knew what Chopper was getting at, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak about it. He felt sick and gagged. Chopper held out a bowl.

“It is only natural that you don’t feel so well yet. Nausea is a side effect of shock.”

Shock? He wasn’t sure if this word would suffice.

He stared at the white blanket he was lying under, which suddenly became flat just half a meter below his hip.

No legs.

“Chopper...” he breathed weakly.

How should he meet the rest of the crew? His legs were his weapon, without them he was useless for this crew. Luffy hadn’t taken him with him because of his cooking talent. Would his skills in the kitchen be enough to be allowed to stay? But what if it came down to a fight? God, would he even be able to cook anymore? He couldn’t even stand in front of the counter or go from one corner of the kitchen to the other. Would he be forced to crawl? What would Zoro say when he saw him like that? They had been of equal strength, but now he only was a laughingstock, a freak show.

“Sanji!” Chopper voice was loud and he realized that he had stared for quite a long time at the same blank spot on his blanket, trapped in his own thoughts. Slowly, he raised his head and looked at the doctor.

“Fetch Luffy,” he said to him. Chopper knitted his furry brow.

“But I’m not finished yet. First you have to tell me-”

“That can wait.” Sanji bit his lip. Whatever happened, it would happen with dignity. He wouldn’t allow himself another outburst like this, so that they had to restrain and drug him like an animal gone wild. “Fetch Luffy,” he repeated. “Now.”

Chopper looked as if he would like to say something else, but at last he nodded reluctantly, put Sanji gently down on the bed and stood up.

The door swung shut with a soft click and only then did Sanji allow himself to let his shoulder to sag and to wipe his eyes with a tired hand.

Neither fighter nor cook. Of course they wouldn’t throw him off the ship right away. Shit, as he knew Luffy he would refuse to let him go. He would put on this typical Luffy face of which everybody in their crew knew he was serious and say: ‘We are nakama, we won’t let you down!’

But secretly they would perceive him as a burden. Nobody would say anything, but everybody would think it. They would help him with everything and would have to protect him in a fight, but he was weaker than the weakest link of their crew. And someday they would have to find a new cook and then he wouldn’t even be able to help out with that.

He had to persuade Luffy to let him go. It would be the best for them all, he would only bring them into danger otherwise.

Footsteps were nearing the infirmary and the door opened. He didn’t look up. He knew it was Luffy anyway. A severe aura surrounded his captain.

Luffy stood in the door frame without saying anything. Apparently he waited for Sanji to begin to speak.

Sanji struggled with himself. To think it, that was easy, but to utter the fateful words was as if there was a physical barrier around his neck stopping him from it. Only with utmost effort he managed to press the words past the lump in his throat:

“I will leave the crew.”

His captain stirred immediately. Sanji didn’t see the movement coming, that’s how fast Luffy’s arm shot towards him, seized one of his shoulders and pushed him against the wall the bed was standing beside. Pain flared up in his shoulder, he was still hurt and Luffy wasn’t being gentle.

“Are you giving up?” Luffy asked loudly.

Sanji looked up and flinched. He had known that his captain would react this way, but to see him like this intimidated him just the same: Luffy had pulled his straw hat low down his face and watched him with a dark look. He swallowed. He had to persuade him.

“Yes. I … think I am giving up.” He never would have thought to ever utter these words. He was no coward. Horrified, he felt his eyes begin to burn. Luffy gritted his teeth and his hand clenched in the shirt he wore.

“How dare you say that! What about your dream? What about All Blue?” The wooden wall behind Sanji grated threateningly as Luffy pushed even more against it with his inhuman strength, but it held out. “Isn’t it important to you anymore to achieve your dream?”

Sanji shook his head. Why did he have to make it so hard?

“Of course it’s important to me.” But now he was a cripple. “But in this … state?” He pointed to the flat spot beneath his blanket. “I – I don’t fool myself, Luffy.” He smiled and hid his face behind his hands. His fingers dug into the skin on his forehead and cheeks.

“Bullshit!” Luffy exclaimed. “Just because it looks bad you wanna give up? Somebody like that has no place in the Grand Line! Somebody like that is no pirate!”

Peeking through his fingers he couldn’t see Luffy, but he was glad his captain had finally come to reason. His chest contracted painfully, but hey, nobody had said it would be easy for him.

Suddenly he felt something be placed on his head. He let his hand slide off his face and startled: Luffy was standing directly in front of him. He didn’t wear his hat anymore, his black hair standing ruffled in every direction. Only then did he realize that Luffy had put his straw hat on his head.

“But you aren’t like that, Sanji,” he said solemnly. The hand pressing him to the back wall let him go a little bit. “You are strong. Here,” he pointed at the spot below Sanji’s hips, “and here.” His hand slid up to his chest under where his heart was beating wildly. Then a wide grin appeared on Luffy’s face. “You are my nakama. You belong to our crew. Nothing will ever change that!”

Then Luffy let go of him and went the few meters to the door. As he had reached it he cast a last glance over his shoulder.

“I will see you on the deck in three days,” he said and left the infirmary.

Sanji slumped down. His plan had failed. Luffy was so stubborn. But why did he feel so relieved? Confused, he pulled the straw hat off his head and put it on his chest. As much as he wanted to believe Luffy, as much as he wanted to _follow_ him, as all of them on the ship wanted to, he didn’t know _how_. This was a situation which couldn’t be simply broken through because you believed in it or because you smashed something to pieces just to achieve your goal.

Chopper, who obviously had waited outside near to the infirmary, entered and approached his bed.

“Sanji...” Sanji looked up as he heard the quiver in the young doctor’s voice. Tears were streaming over Chopper’s cheeks. “Don’t leave us!” he burst out crying and threw himself into his arms with a force which left Sanji nearly in trouble breathing. He embraced him tightly. His hands clenched in Chopper’s fur and for a while he just held him.

“Will you tell me now how you feel?” Chopper asked him finally. “Do you feel any pain in your legs?”

In a strange streak of gallows humor he wanted to point out to him that he hardly could feel anything in his legs, just as a pain shot through him like a flash directly below his knees, just a few centimeters below his white bandaged stump. He winced.

“How is that-” He didn’t dare to lift the blanket, but stared at the spot under which the remains of his legs lay.

Chopper understood him anyway.

“What you’re feeling now is called phantom pain. It happens to most people who lost appendages,” he explained professionally, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Phantom pain? But this doesn’t make any sense! How can I feel something when – when...” He clenched his teeth.

“To put it simply: It has something to do with your nerves,” Chopper answered. He seemed to collect himself for a moment before looking at him with a serious look. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to leave the crew because you think you’re too weak.”

Sanji looked to the side, his hands clenching the blanket.

“It is better for everybody if I leave,” he said quietly. Someday even Luffy would realize that. He probably would die in the first fight anyway.

“Better?” Chopper gasped out. “Never! You belong to us, you can’t just go!”

“Why are all of you so blind?” Sanji snarled at him. He pushed himself up as much as he could. It wasn’t easy, his sense of balance was disturbed and he wanted to move muscles he didn’t have anymore. “I’m endangering all of you! If I’d remain here maybe Luffy wouldn’t become the pirate king. And Nami wouldn’t finish her map. And Robin-”

Chopper put a hoof on his mouth.

“Stop it, Sanji.” His eyes shimmered damply, but this time he pulled himself together and didn’t begin to cry. Slowly, he lowered his hoof. “We will find a way, you hear me?”

Sanji didn’t answer. It seemed nobody would listen to him. Both Luffy and Chopper appeared to want to keep him in the crew at any cost.

“Were are my cigarettes?” he finally asked quietly.

“Smoking in your condition is-”

“I know. Don’t care,” Sanji interrupted.

Chopper opened his mouth again as if to protest, but Sanjis expression made him halt.

“Well, alright,” Chopper said as he went to one of his drawers and fished his packet of cigarettes out of it along with his lighter. “But only one! You should really take more care of your health now!”

As Sanji lighted the long-desired cigarette Chopper approached his bed again.

“How long am I in here anyway?” Sanji asked finally.

“Almost a week.”

“The others?”

“They’re all well.”

Chopper looked into his eyes severely.

“Do you remember what happened?”

Although Sanji’s thoughts had raged through his had like a storm in the last minutes he hadn’t wasted a single one on that. He thought back on the last thing he could remember.

 _A fight_. Of course.

They had fought against the marine. One of the officers had eaten a devil’s fruit. But which one? He squinted his eyes intently and tried to remember.

_He stood on his hands, legs spread, and whirled around as the marine soldiers around himself tumbled down like plastic soldiers. There were so fucking many of them and they were caught off-guard. The sun was low and blinded him. His friends were spread widely on top of the deck. He hoped that nothing happened to Nami-swan and Robin-chan, he had to finish up with the vermin as fast as possible to come to their rescue._

_Zoro was the only one he could see from his current position. The mosshead had once again found himself one of the stronger opponents: The officer’s chest was furnished with medals all over and he constantly scurried around with insane speed. Surely nobody could be that fast! Sanji wanted to watch him more precisely, but suddenly he noticed a movement in the corner of his eyes and he could barely fend the attack off._

_He couldn’t allow himself to be distracted. The soldiers may be weak, but their mere quantity was dangerous. Once again he kicked one of his long legs through the mass of idiots and eliminated them._

_Zoro was able to fend for himself-_

_Abruptly everything looked different. The soldiers were gone and Zoro was in front of his face, staring at him with sheer horror. Steel flashed in the sun-_

“I … I don’t understand completely,” Sanji said lamely. Chopper looked at him attentively. “I think I’m missing a piece of my memories. We’ve fought, that much I know, and there was this guy with a devil’s fruit, I think. But I’ve fought against a bunch of marine soldiers and suddenly Zoro was directly in front of me – what’s happened between that?”

Chopper sighed deeply.

“You remember it perfectly,” he said. “This marine … he’s eaten the teleportation devil’s fruit.” Chopper looked at him as if this would clear anything up. Sanji just looked at him confused until Chopper eventually continued. “Zoro had fought against him. He thought he could only teleport himself, but it seems he can do that with other people as well. And he has – he has-”

Fat tears accumulated themselves in Chopper’s eyes again and flowed down his cheeks. Sanji sat frozen on the bed. He had a bad feeling.

“He has teleported you directly in front of Zoro’s swords and it was – it was just too fast and Zoro couldn’t stop himself and he has – Sanji, he feels so sorry and he doesn’t know how to atone for it, but I’m sure he would do anything and if I’ve just been there sooner maybe I could have saved your legs, I am so sorry, Sanji, please don’t hate me!”

Chopper threw himself on Sanji’s bed headfirst and wailed heartbreakingly. Sanji numbly laid one hand on his shoulder and stared into space.

Zoro. It hadn’t been a marine, but Zoro. He looked down at himself. He hadn’t even felt anything, that’s how sharp his katana had been.

“Where are they?” he asked. “My legs, what did you do with them?”

“Zoro … he had taken them along. We had to flee and I – I’m so sorry, Sanji!” Chopper fought with his tears. “We had to flee and I couldn’t treat you immediately, and as we finally were safe it was too late...” His voice softened as if he was ashamed of it. “When it was obvious that your legs couldn’t be salvaged anymore we’ve … thrown them into the ocean.”

Like a funeral. Again a wave of nausea rose in him and he only just managed to bend over a bowl as he vomited suddenly and violent. Chopper took his half used up cigarette from his hand and put his hoof on his back while he coughed and sputtered, until his stomach finally was empty and continued to heave only on reflex.

Exhausted, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Zoro was sorry? He couldn’t picture somebody like him having a sense of guilt, somebody who always took things as they came. Chopper dabbed his forehead with a damp towel and handed him a glass of water.

“Nobody wants you to go,” Chopper finally said quietly and let the towel drop, while Sanji rinsed his mouth and spat into the bowl. “I know it will be hard. But Luffy would never abandon you.”

Sanji shirked from his look and let his fringe fall over his eyes. Those were hollow words.

“Well, where are all of them? Don’t they know that I’m awake?” he asked doubtfully.

Chopper shook his head.

“They do,” he responded. Sanji remembered it faintly, the first shock. He had screamed like a madman. A part of him wanted to do it again, it was the sole sensible reaction to this chaos. “But Zoro prevented them from going in.”

Sanji frowned.

“What? How do you mean?”

Chopper pointed at the door.

“He doesn’t let anyone in but me. At first he wouldn’t even let Luffy in, but as he heard that you wanted to see him he let him pass.”

Zoro kept the others from coming in? Why? No wonder that the infirmary wasn’t crowded with his nakama. Nami and Robin certainly would look after him and-

Abruptly, his thought broke off and a clump of ice formed in his stomach as he thought of his two beauties. Even if he knew that his flirts would never be of avail he always had rejoiced in complimenting them. And now? How was he supposed to bring them a cooling cocktail on deck on a hot afternoon? How should he brew fresh coffee for Robin, how should he rub sun lotion on Nami’s skin?

How would they look at him, without his legs. Compassion? Disgust?

Suddenly he was glad that nobody had visited him yet. He had no idea how he could face them ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

He wanted to destroy the clock on the wall. Chopper had gone hours ago and had left Sanji in his bed, alone with his thoughts. Through the small bull’s eye above the doctor’s desk he noticed that it had gotten dark by now. Black water sloshed rhythmically against the glass. The wall clock was ticking away loudly and hindered him to fall asleep. Because of the painkiller Chopper had given him earlier he could only feel a dull throb.

His eyes were wandering around the room. Luffy’s hat was hanging off of one of the bed posts. His cigarettes lay on the desk and were well visible from the bed when he set himself upright a little bit. They could have just as well been at the other end of the Grand Line. He needed a cigarette. He craved it. But for that he had to stand up and for that-

He grit his teeth. He effectively had managed to not think about it for longer than three minutes, but that was about it.

The clock continued to tick. He concentrated on the annoying noise and closed his eyes. Surely he could pull off to fall asleep eventually.

A nerve in his leg twitched.

He opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling. This didn’t make any sense!

Phantom pain was what Chopper had dubbed it and had tried to explain it to him, but it was simple for him: what wasn’t there couldn’t hurt.

His gaze slid to the door. Would the swordsman still sit behind it? Since the _incident_ he hadn’t seen him. Although that wasn’t quite right. Immediately after he had woken up he had seen him, but in this moment he hadn’t concentrated on him so much. If he remembered correctly he had held him down as Chopper had injected him the sedative.

Anger flared in him, a small flame getting bigger and bigger the longer he thought about it. Was he an animal to be restrained and sedated? And who did Chopper think he was to patronize him like this and take away his cigarettes, even if they were within range for everyone but him? And Zoro had decided for him that he couldn’t see anybody? Even if all of this mess was his fault-

He opened his mouth and closed it directly again. Should he call him? If he still sat behind the door he would surely come in. But what should he say?

He bit his lip. God, _he needed a cigarette_. He cleared his throat and drew a breath.

“You can come in, if you want,” he said monotonously, staring at the ceiling.

Nothing happened. He looked at the door again. Wasn’t he there after all?

Just in this moment the doorhandle moved down and the door was opened slowly. A green shock of hair peeked around the doorframe and as their gazes accidentally met Zoro made one step into the room.

At first, nobody uttered a word.

Then Sanji interrupted the silence: “Toss me the cigarettes, will ya, mosshead?”

Zoro opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but closed it again. Slowly, he moved through the room until he came to a stop in front of the desk on which the cigarettes laid. Sanji observed him with narrowed eyes. Zoro wore his usual, thick with dirt clothes: black trousers, white shirt and this green abomination around his hips, from which his three swords hung. Something was different. He was too quiet. Normally, when he insulted him, he would go through the roof or sneer at him and give it back to him just as good.

None of this. Zoro grabbed the packet of cigarettes and held it out to him. As Sanji reached out his hand and took it, he accidentally touched Zoro’s hand with one of his fingertips and the swordsman visibly flinched back, nearly dropping the packet.

Sanji stared at him in irritation.

“What are you gaping at?” he asked while he patted his chest with his hands. “Why do you behave so strangely?” It came to his mind that he wasn’t wearing his usual waistcoat and his lighter could lie wherever. “Did you see my jacket?”

Zoro nodded. Sanji noticed him looking in this general direction, but his gaze landed somewhere barely above his eyes before he turned away from him and went to the cabinet in the back corner of the room. As he opened one of it’s doors Sanji saw his clothes that he wore the last time: his black vest with the golden buttons and an orange dress shirt. Only the trousers were missing. Zoro began to search his clothes for his lighter and found it after a short time. Silently, he handed it over to him and Sanji lit his first cigarette.

He took several drags and let the smoke float out of his half opened mouth. The nicotine soothed his thin nerves. Inconspicuously, he let his gaze wander to Zoro and noticed that he’d clenched his fists.

“Why were you there the whole time?” he asked with a nod towards the door. It wasn’t the question he wanted to ask first, but still one he wanted to be answered.

As he took a drag again Zoro glanced up and looked him in the eyes for the first time.

“Because the others shouldn’t see you like this.”

Sanji flinched as if he’d slapped him. So Zoro also thought he was too weak? Did he also think that he should leave the crew? His gaze wandered to the swords he wore on his hip and he wondered which one was responsible for his current state.

A sudden wave of anger and hurt attacked him and he said the most vicious thing that came to his head in this moment.

“And whose fault is that?” he asked and immediately regretted it. Zoro’s eyes darkened and to Sanji’s horror he dropped to his knees in front of him. Hands lying before him on the floor and his forehead pressed against the hard planks below him he was the spitting image of total surrender.

“That’s a mistake I can never atone for,” he said to the floor. “I can’t hope that you will ever forgive me and if I ought to leave the crew I will do so. Regardless of what Luffy says.”

Sanji stared at him completely stunned, the burning cigarette forgotten in his hands. _He_ wanted to leave the crew? He, the second strongest fighter of them? But that didn’t make any sense!

In that moment he noticed the faint tremble running through Zoro’s body. And then he finally understood. Zoro’s strange behavior, the watch in front of his door, his speechlessness, this submissive gesture: he couldn’t have told him clearer that he was downright engulfed in his feelings of guilt.

And he had amplified them.

And even if one part of his mind told him that he was guilty, the other part only wanted him to stand up and meet his eyes again.

“Stop that,” he said, but Zoro didn’t move an inch. Sanji nervously run his fingers through his hair. This behavior was highly unusual for the swordsman. “I said stand up! What’s all this bullshit?” He felt heat creeping up his face, that was how embarrassing this situation was. But Zoro still didn’t react. What would Chopper say, if he chose this moment to come in? Was Zoro waiting for something?

Sanji did the only thing which seemed rational in this situation. He leaned forwards as much as he could, one elbow propped on the very edge of the bed, and hit him with the palm of his hand on the head.

“Move already, moss brain!” he grumbled, even as Zoro flinched because of the whack and finally raised his head, looking at him dumbfounded.

“But-” he began.

“What’s up with this shit? You wanna leave the crew? Did you forget Luffy’s dream? Did you forget your _own_ dream? It wasn’t your fault! Were all fighting for our lives again and again, this is the Grand Line, did you forget that? And-”

“Say that again.”

Sanji fell silent as Zoro suddenly interrupted him.

“What …?” He recapitulated his words in his head. “That we’re on the Grand Line?”

Zoro shook his head.

And then Sanji understood.

He wanted salvation. Zoro, for whom his comrade’s dreams and goals were at least as important as his own, had to be downright overwhelmed by his feelings of guilt because of the fact that he had destroyed one of these dreams forever. It had to be as clear for him as it was for Sanji that he couldn’t travel with them anymore.

But why didn’t Sanji feel even a spark of hatred towards him? He tried to conjure this feeling, but anything he felt was directed against himself.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he repeated. Zoro drew a sharp breath. Sanji stared at the wall, his ears glowing red, as he continued. “Thanks for not letting anybody in. You’re right, the others shouldn’t see me like that.” He grimaced. “It really isn’t a nice sight.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Zoro stood up and positioned himself beside him with a somber face. “This bullshit you’ve spouted. Luffy’s told me about it. That you wanna leave us. Because of a small wound.”

Sanji’s jaw dropped.

“Small-” He shook his head and tried to calm down. “But you wanted to leave, too!”

“That’s something else.”

“It isn’t!”

“It is!”

“Is too – oh, fuck it! It isn’t. But,” he held his hand up to silence Zoro, who had opened his mouth again to say something, “what else do you mean by that?”

Zoro took a deep breath, as if he had to collect himself first. Meanwhile, Sanji stubbed out his cigarette.

“You’ve given up,” Zoro finally said. Sanji’s hands clutched his bed sheets. “I don’t want the others to see that.”

Immediately Sanji felt anger rise up in him.

“What else is left for me?” he shouted. He ripped the blanket from his body and exposed both of the bandaged stumps. Both Zoro and him flinched at the sight. “How am I supposed to help you, if I’m mutilated like that? I can’t even walk!”

Zoro stretched his arm out as if he wanted to grab him and Sanji flinched back, a reaction which immediately triggered shame in him. But Zoro paused in his movement and let his arm fall down again.

“You’re asking me this question, but I think you haven’t even thought about this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“This means”, Zoro slowly said, as if he’d talked to a child, “that we have two genius inventors on board.” Suddenly, his face brightened, as if he’d just remembered something. “And Usopp and Franky are building a wheelchair right now.”

Sanji stared at him in horror.

“A wheelchair,” he repeated monotonously. “And what the fuck am I supposed to do with it? I still can’t fight with that!”

“It’s a start.” Zoro scratched his head awkwardly. “At least you can move around then and you won’t have to spend your whole time in this room.”

If only Zoro had known that he’d have preferred to stay in this room forever, Sanji thought. He reached for the blanket and covered himself up again. But Zoro’s gaze following the movement didn’t escape him.

“What are you staring at?” he snarled at him. At that Zoro gave him a look he couldn’t quite place. Was that pity? No, it was something else. But before he had time to think longer about that, Zoro turned his back on him and went to the door.

“Luffy wants to see you out there in two days,” he said and reminded Sanji of the deadline his captain had given him. “Do something with it.”

With that he strode out into the dark hallway and closed the door behind himself.

For a while, Sanji only stared at the door. He almost expected it to open and for Zoro to come in again to reproach him further. Exhausted, he slumped down on his cushion, the nicotine's calming effect already faded away. Who did the moss head think he was, to first fling himself on the ground and then, when he had denied him his guilt, make accusations against him, as if he had the slightest clue what’s happening in him?

The clock on the wall was still ticking. Now, in the silence the moss head had left him in, he could hear it all the more. He couldn’t avoid the gnawing feeling that there was a spark of truth in it. A really, really small one.  
The cushion beneath his head felt warm and soaked with sweat. He turned to the side, felt the pain in his thighs. He had given up, there wasn’t any doubt about that. But what else was he supposed to do? A wheel chair wouldn’t help him. Nothing would help him, as long as he wouldn’t get back his legs. Nothing, but …

Finally, he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

The door fell shut with a quiet click and Zoro leaned against it. Six days, twenty-one hours. That was when he had failed. Not fast enough, he had reacted too late. Actually, he hadn’t reacted at all. Suddenly, Sanji had been right before him and he’d only be able to watch as his sword sliced through his legs as if they were made of butter.

As another man in another world he would’ve understood why Sanji felt this way. Would’ve been able to relate to it, because he would’ve acted the same way. But this was the Grand Line. He belonged to the captain who would one day be the pirate king. Giving up wasn’t even an option. Only death would get him to leave his side.

He pushed himself off the door and set out for the kitchen for the first time in hours. He desperately needed sleep, but he needed food even more. Robin and Nami had tried to fill Sanji’s gap and even if what they put on the table was edible it wasn’t comparable to the food the crew was accustomed to.

It was dark in the kitchen. It was still night, but dawn would break soon. As he looked through the window he could see a small silver lining on the horizon, it’s color blending slowly into a steely blue. He didn’t trouble himself to flick on the light, but rather searched the fridge for the leftovers from the day before. With someone like Luffy this was nearly impossible, but finally he found a small bowl of rice, in which lay a few burnt vegetables.

Before even making two steps he began to shovel the food into his mouth. He really was starved. He had missed dinner because he’d kept guard in front of the infirmary’s door. Most of the others were cross with him because he kept them from visiting the cook. But this crazy look-

His instincts warned him before she even set foot in the kitchen. Robin was likely to be one of the most dangerous people in the crew. She moved stealthily, observed everything and there was probably more going on in her head as she let on. It wasn’t like Zoro didn’t trust her, but he was wary about letting his guard down around her.

She flicked the light on and looked at him, as if she’d known the whole time that he was there.

“Good morning, Mister Swordsman,” she said politely. A tiny smile played around the corners of her mouth. Zoro nodded at her and she went past him to make herself coffee. He just wanted to leave the kitchen and go back to the infirmary, as Robin slammed the door in his face with one of her many arms. He stuffed another portion of rice inside his mouth, chewed and swallowed, and met her gaze silently, his eyebrows furrowing.

Robin smiled at him, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands.

“I’ve heard Mister Cook has woken up,” she began. Zoro didn’t react. Of course they’ve heard it. It was a few hours ago – eighteen hours to be precise – but anyone, literally anyone, had overheard how Sanji had woken up. Screaming. A shiver ran down his back, which had nothing to do with Robin’s ice-blue calculating gaze. The memory of him leaning against the door and then suddenly this blood-curling scream penetrating the wood, as Chopper charged past him and yanked open the door, as he caught a glimpse of Sanji, on the floor, tangled up in the blanket, eyes wrenched open-

He ripped himself violently out of the memory.

“What do you want?” he asked gruff. “I’ve said nobody gets into the infirmary at the moment.”

It was unreadable what Robin thought just now.

“Don’t you think that he should decide that for himself?”

Zoro snorted. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it. But one look at Sanji had been enough to see that he couldn’t face the others at the moment. Even when he wouldn’t say so himself.

Robin sighed as she didn’t get an answer from him.

“In two days it doesn’t matter anyway,” she concluded.

Suddenly, the door opened and Nami came in with a surprised look on her face.

“And here I thought I’d be the first this morning!” she said and put her hands on her hips. “Is there any coffee left for me, Robin?”

As far as Zoro was concerned the kitchen was far too crowded by now and he was just about to go, as Nami’s next words made him halt.

“We’re sailing into a storm,” she said glumly and poured herself the black drink. “It will knock us a bit off our course.”

“How long until we get to the next island?” Robin asked.

“Hard to say.” Nami sighed. “Probably two days longer, maybe even more.”

Robin nodded and looked at Zoro.

“How is our cook doing?” she asked and this time there was more seriousness in her voice.

“He’s awake,” he answered curtly and hurriedly left the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

“That’s really not a good idea,” Chopper said.

Sanji sat on the bed, his back supported with a few pillows against the wall. His upper legs lay freshly bandaged on the white sheets. For the first time since he’d woken up he had a proper shirt on and had washed and combed his hair. Chopper had to help him with that, but even if the small doctor had been strictly professional, it had been difficult to undress completely in front of him. He had insisted on the tie. He supported himself with both hands to sit up straight, while Chopper examined him with a big frown.

“If I have to lie here even longer I might get crazy,” he retorted, even if that was only half of the truth. A significant part of him wanted to stay in the infirmary forever, in this limbo, in which he was able to imagine even the smallest horrendous details, but without suffering the consequences. Here, the world outside of the room wasn’t completely real.

“You should stay in bed at least for a few more days and give your body a bit time,” Chopper continued. “One can’t get over such a loss this fast.”

But he knew that it couldn’t remain that way forever.

“I’ve promised Luffy, Chopper.”

At this moment the door was suddenly flung open and banged against the wall, as Luffy stormed in and threw himself his way. A sharp pain shot through Sanji, as he was suddenly yanked out of his sitting position and he just barely managed to bend forwards so that he wouldn’t crack his head against the wall.

“Luffy!” Chopper shouted appalled.

“Are you ready?” Luffy shouted into his face much too loudly as Sanji tried to pick himself up. Sadly, this was nearly impossible with the rubberman on top of him. Therefore he quickly gave up and just supported himself a bit with an elbow.

“As ready as I can be,” he answered the question. He took the straw hat, which had kept him company for the last few days, and put it on Luffy’s head. Luffy grinned at him as if someone had said he could eat a whole seaking all by himself. A large part of his excitement was probably because he’d cook again. Although he still wondered how the fuck he should do that.

A rumble and than a squeaking noise came from the splintered door. Sanji looked up.

Zoro stood in the door, pushing an awfully ugly looking thing into the room. It was made of a dull metal, the two oversized wheels were encompassed with a cheap synthetic material. The seat, whose backrest looked too low to serve its purpose, was made of brightly polished wood. Two handles jutted several hand’s width out of the backrest and proceeded down into an arch. Sanji couldn’t suppress a short quiver as he saw this monstrosity.

“That is-” he began, but Luffy interrupted him.

“Cool!” he exclaimed and jumped off him, which inflicted another painful stab in him. He propped himself up again with difficulty, until he leaned against the wall in his original position. Grinning brightly, Luffy let himself fall onto the wheelchair. “Come on, Zoro! Give me a ride!”

“Forget it, get out!” Zoro lifted the wheelchair from behind, so that Luffy tumbled out.

“Oh, come on!” Luffy complained.

“Stop sulking! The others want to see the curlybrow today, too.” This had an effect. In an instant, a grin spread on the captain’s face.

“Alright!” he exclaimed. And then, to Sanji: “Come on, Sanji, hop in!”

Sanji could probably think about a thousand better things he’d like to do more, if he’d thought about it. But there wasn’t another way. Zoro positioned the wheelchair directly next to the bed. There was only one small problem.

“I...” He fell silent and looked down on his clenched hands.

“Wait, I’ll help you!” Chopper, who’d transformed into Heavy Point, immediately positioned himself next to him and reached his arms out, as if he wanted to lift him up. Sanji stopped him.

“No. I can manage that alone.”

“But-”

“You won’t always be conveniently there to help me, so let me do it on my own!” Sanji saw Chopper flinch – maybe he had been a bit too harsh. How often would he keep hurting the small doctor with his words? But Chopper backed off two steps, as if he wanted to demonstrate him that he accepted his decision.

He gritted his teeth and put his whole weight on both of his hands, then he shuffled to the edge of the bed, until his leg stumps protruded beyond the mattress. It didn’t seem too hard. Again, he supported himself on his hands, until he could lift himself up and off the bed. His muscles were still tired from the long time he’d spend lying and throbbed painfully. He fixed his gaze on the wheelchair and swung his body to the seat-

As soon as he touched the wheelchair the thing rolled back from him and he fell down. Chopper darted forward, as if to catch him, but he stood too far away and Sanji crushed on the floor. He lost his balance and his elbows scraped over the wood as he tried to right himself, his leg stumps swinging helplessly trough the air. Then Chopper grasped him below the arms and lifted him up. Carefully, he was seated onto the wheelchair.

He would get bruises from that. His bottom hurt from the impact, but it was even worse that he couldn’t even have managed to seat himself onto this awful thing. Would he have to depend on help for that, too? His face burned. He looked to Zoro, but he was busy to stare at the door at the moment. A crease had formed between his eyebrows. At least the marimo hadn’t become a witness of his embarrassing manoeuvre.

Chopper stood before him to catch his attention.

“You can move the wheels with your arms to go forwards,” he explained to him. “Curves are a bit more difficult, at least the smaller ones. And you should be careful if there is a storm and hold onto something. Or even better, you should call one of us, so we can help you!”

No small curves? He should get help when the sea would get a bit rougher? How did Chopper imagine that? His gaze fell on the white blanket on his bed, he grabbed it and draped it around his legs. Chopper looked at him strangely, but didn’t say anything.

Suddenly, Zoro stood before him.

“Let’s get going, cook. The others are waiting.”

Sanji swallowed. Three days. That was the time Luffy had given him to prepare himself. But he still didn’t feel even one bit better. He still wanted to scream, just as on the first day, at that moment he woke up.

He remembered Zoro’s words. _Because the others shouldn’t see you like this_. The moss brain was right. He didn’t even want to see himself like this.

His hands clasped the wheels. The rubber felt hard and rough and it occurred to him that the floor was sticky with dirt and dust, carried in from such brutes as the swordsman. His hands would get in contact with it, if he wanted to or not. He hadn’t a problem with dirtying his hands in combat, after all he threw himself into a handstand often enough, to deal damage with his legs. But now he’d get dirty all the time, just to move along. He refused to touch food with such fingers.

He pushed his hands forward and the wheelchair began to move sluggishly. It was much more difficult than he’d anticipated. He had to tense his arms and bend forwards to roll only a bit. It was ludicrous.

The door was on his right side. He tried to only move one wheel to accomplish a curve, but the wheelchair stubbornly drove straight ahead until he came to a hold in front of the wall, a good meter away from the door. Zoro and Chopper, who stood behind him, observed him silently. His face began to burn. This was ridiculous! He could just a well crawl over the floor, that surely would be a lot easier than to move forward in this monstrosity!

His hands grabbed the wheels a bit firmer and he rolled back, until he nearly bumped against the bed, than he rolled forward again, determined to succeed in driving the curve. The door slowly came nearer. He was a bit too far to the left, but hopefully he’d still make it. Observing the left wheel he slowly drove past the door frame. He barely made it, but he had succeeded. For the first time since he had woken up he’d left the infirmary.

In front of him were the stairs.

He wanted to simply _scream_ as this sight hit him in the face. All those efforts, only to be stopped by a few steps?

Zoro came up next to him. His katana rattled faintly on his hips. Sanji’s hands grabbed the wheels tighter. He almost was determined enough to do it anyway, to drive up the stairs, just to try it, even if it was impossible.

“Usopp and Franky haven’t found a solution for that yet...” Chopper said from behind him in an apologizing manner. “But I’m sure that they’ll soon think of something!”

How comforting.

“And until than? Should I crawl upwards?” He flinched because of his own words. Just the notion to do something so degrading, to do something in front of Zoro, pushed heat on his face.

“Bullshit,” he heard Zoro say behind him and suddenly he bent down to him, arms outstretched. Turning pale, it became clear to Sanji what he had in mind and he threw his arms protectively in front of his body, but it was already too late. His chest contracted as he was touched by him, the hands suddenly beneath his armpits. His weight shifted and for a moment he swayed forward, still confused by his sudden lightness. He instinctively wanted to kick him and failed.

“What are you doing?”

Zoro shrugged his shoulders and a jolt went through Sanji’s body as Zoro shifted his weight as if he were a rag doll.

“Lemme go!” He _struggled_ , even if it made the embarrassment even worse. He didn’t want him to touch him. That he came into contact with him, who was only half a man, having avoided to look at his lower half for days.

“I can let you crawl.” Zoro looked at him deadpan. “If you want to.”

Sanji braced himself against him with both of his arms, hands pressed against his chest. His fingers left gray traces on Zoro’s white shirt. He’d known it.

He didn’t want to crawl.

“Wanna play maid for me?” he grunted at him.

“Should I let you fall?” Zoro countered and than feigned to do so. Startled Sanji clutched at him. “Yeah, thought so.”

He turned to the stairs and began to climb them up. Sanji could see over his shoulder how Chopper picked the wheelchair up and followed them. He turned his head backwards, it were only a few steps until they’d be upstairs. He could already feel the light breeze blowing on the deck. The scent of coffee and cookies reached his nose. Someone was in his kitchen.

The deck was empty. Sanji exhaled in relief and only then noticed that he had held his breath. The tension simply had been too great.

“The crew’s in the kitchen. We’ve thought that you’d be most comfortable there,” Chopper answered his unspoken question. Sanji didn’t know if he should be thankful for that, but it was probably better if he’d get it over with in one go.

Zoro carried him up the next stairs, too, which were leading to the upper deck and to the kitchen. The nearer they got the clearer he could hear the noise coming from the kitchen. Above all he could hear Luffy’s voice, as always too loud, and Nami who gave him an earful because of something. He had probably tried to steal food again.

As he arrived at the landing, Zoro stepped aside, so that Chopper was able to position the wheelchair next to him, then put Sanji in it. Sanji avoided looking at him. His face burned.

Chopper transformed into his usual form again and put one of his small hooves on his shoulder.

“There’s no reason to be nervous,” he tried to reassure him. “The others are happy to finally see you again.”

Unfortunately this only managed to enlarge the clump of ice, which had formed in his stomach. Of course the others would be happy to see him again. This would mean that he was well again. That he could cook and surprise the girls with a snack or drink of his own devising or that he could kick the marine’s ass in their next fight.

His hands grabbed the wheels and he pushed against them, until he rolled forwards slowly. As he wanted to reach for the door handle, Chopper beat him to the punch and opened the door for him. Sanji followed him into the two meters long hallway. The conversation in the kitchen became silent and Chopper entered first.

“Is he-”

“How is he?”

“Finally!”

Suddenly, all of them spoke at once and Sanji hastily rolled forward, so that they wouldn’t come out of the kitchen. The wheelchair drove squeakily over the wooden planks, one of its wheels suddenly catching on the door frame, and everyone turned around to him.

There was chaos in the kitchen. The whole crew was scattered around the table, on which stood coffee and tea. Luffy crammed a handful of cookies into his mouth and grinned at him with stuffed cheeks. Nami covered her mouth with her hand, which had formed itself to a small, but noticeable ‘oh’. Usopp stared at him and visibly wanted to say something, but suppressed it. Next to him stood Robin and Franky, she was holding a steaming cup of coffee in her hand, while he still had the hands up in the air, as if he wanted to explain something to her. Brook sat at the end of the table, the legs crossed elegantly.

Sanji rolled backwards squeaking. He clutched the wheels with a tight grasp and forced them to carry out a curve and rolled into the kitchen.

As if he had broken a spell everyone moved again. Nami approached him, her long legs visible beneath her short skirt, but halted a few paces before him. Her gaze darted down. Inconspicuously, he pulled the blanket on his lap down, so that it covered his knees completely.

“Do you feel well? Chopper says that you’re still under shock and we should be careful with you, but now you’re not in the infirmary anymore – does this mean that you’re feeling better?”

He forced a smile on his face since he didn’t want Nami to worry about him. The mosshead stepped behind him like a silent guardian.

“I’m fine. Well, as well as can be expected. Chopper did a good job.” Each word felt heavy on his tongue and still he heard himself blabber trivial words. But Nami smiled at him and that was worth it.

Usopp moved a chair over.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asked and then smacked his forehead with his hand. “Shoot, you’re sitting already! I meant, do you want to sit down at the table? I mean, with-”

“He’s understood it, dimwit!” Nami rolled her eyes. “Come, I’ll drive you there,” she said to Sanji and before he had time to react she’d already walked around him, pushed Zoro aside, grabbed the wheelchair’s backrest and pushed him in the direction of the table. His hands still lay on top of the wheels and he had to let them go lightning-fast so they wouldn’t be pulled forward.

The table was higher than he was used to. He felt as if he had shrunken. While Zoro sat down opposite of him and looked at Nami with daggers in his eyes, Robin asked him if he wanted to have some of the cookies.

“I’d love to, thank you.”

He took a misshapen, half burnt cookie and bit a small chunk of it off. It was eatable, but too sweet. He could taste the cinnamon. Without him the crew was doomed, he thought for himself. Had they fed themselves only with things like this for over a week?

“Delicious,” he said regardless and asked himself who was responsible for the baking.

“Not to be compared with your cooking, Mister Cook,” Robin answered smiling, but he could see her delight. So she was behind the baking. His gaze slid to the kitchen sink, in which dirty plates and glasses piled up. A shiver ran over his back at this sight.

“Yo, Sanji, when you gonna let me drive?” Luffy looked at him with big puppy eyes.

“Luffy!” Chopper called irritably. “The wheelchair isn’t there so you can play with it! Sanji needs it after all!”

Sanji gritted his teeth. He needed this, he needed that. Bed rest. Fresh bandages. A wheelchair and somebody who helped him up the stairs. What he really needed was to take a run-up and then the railing-

Nami placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Only milk, no sugar, am I right?” she asked. It was the first time she’d served him and not the other way around. Suddenly, he felt dizzy.

“I think I need fresh air,” he murmured and his hands grabbed the wheels – disgusting, sticky wheels – and braced himself against them. A sudden pain beneath his knees made him flinch and he bumped against one of the table legs.

“Woah, you okay, bro?” Franky looked worriedly at him.

“But you’ve just arrived here, why do you wanna go so soon?” Usopp asked. Sanji didn’t meet his eye.

“Yeah yeah, my legs just hurt.”

All of them except Franky and Chopper looked puzzled. His cheeks burned as Chopper stepped in and explained it to the others.

“I don’t get that, how can something hurt that isn’t there?” Usopp thought out loud after Chopper had ended. Even if Sanji had asked himself the same question he flinched slightly at that.

“Maybe your legs have transformed to ghosts now or something like that?” Luffy asked with shiny eyes and it seemed like he actually thought about this as a possibility.

“The thing is that the severed nerves are still giving his brain stimuli. That’s why it sometimes feels as if there were still there.” Chopper was in doctor mode. Sanji had heard it all before, but he didn’t want so think about it anymore. Couldn’t the crew talk about something else?

“Ooh! So it isn’t like that the whole time?” Usopp asked with large eyes. “Brook, do you have something like that, too? I mean, you’re only made of bones.”

“Maybe, if I had any nerves left! Yohoho!” Brook laughed and slurped his tea.

“I like my idea better.” Luffy pouted.

“Guys!” Nami intervened. “Don’t you see that it’s embarrassing him?”

Sanjis cheeks burned. Nami surely only meant well, but for some reason it was especially her objection which made matters worse. Usopp seemed to be ashamed and shirked from his look, while Luffy scratched his head sheepishly and then snatched another portion of the cookies. The mood in the kitchen had tilted and not for the first time he wished to lie downstairs in the infirmary and drive himself slowly but surely to insanity.

Franky cleared his throat.

“So, how do you like my little invention?” he asked, visibly proud of the monstrosity in which Sanji sat. How someone could call something as bulky as that ‘little’ was incomprehensible to him.

Sanji would have preferred to throw the rack at his head if he wouldn’t sit in it and if it wouldn’t be the only way to move from A to B – except to crawl of course. On top of that the shipwright looked so hopeful that he’d get a bad conscience.

“I can move around,” he finally said and tried to keep away any intonation out of his voice. Franky grinned happily at him.

“But stairs are still a problem,” Zoro chimed in. Sanji spun his head around and glared at him. Franky sighed.

“Yeah, I’m still working on that.” He scratched his head thoughtfully. “But this is just an emergency solution anyways. Usopp and me are working on something new!”

“And it’ll be really cool, Sanji, you’ll see!” Usopp proudly stuck both of his thumbs in the air.

Sanji tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace to him. He scowled at Zoro, who had butted in without being asked, then he grabbed the wheels again and this time managed to roll back without problems.

“But where do you want to go now?” Nami asked. Sanji halted – he didn’t know that himself. Without help he wouldn’t get too far anyways, to the next stairs at the most. Provided he didn’t get caught on the door or something else. His shoulders slumped forward, as it became apparent to him that the kitchen was actually the best place to stay. Except for the infirmary of course. But Luffy would surely not allow that.

“I just want to know what you did to my kitchen in the meantime,” he said instead, but lacked his usual bite. Nami looked at him guiltily.

“Cleaning up after baking isn’t my strong point,” she said smiling.

“Neither is baking,” Zoro commented, while he shoved a cookie into his mouth.

“You don’t need to eat them!” Nami snarled at him and snapped the cookie jar away from him.

“Witch!”

“Lazy bum!”

Sanji sighed and grasped the wheels. He would be glad when he had the kitchen alone for himself again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for some feels?

“And tell us if you need any help and if you want to go down the stairs-”

“Yeah yeah, I know!” Sanji put his hands on his hips. The ship rocked turbulently, a storm had seized them and whipped the sea. “I’ll manage.”

Chopper looked at him seriously.

“Promise, that you’ll really call us?” he said. “I don’t want to worry.” As he knew the doctor he would worry anyways. Sanji sighed and gave in to him.

“I promise. And now get lost, I want to check on what you did to my kitchen in the last days.”

Chopper shot a final testing glance at him, then he left the kitchen as the last of them. Finally, Sanji was alone.

He looked around. His kitchen was in disarray. Of course Robin had kept the kitchen mostly clean, after all she was more than able to keep cleanliness, as opposed to the rest of the idiots on board. But the coffee mill didn’t stand on its usual place and he could tell from where he stood that the knives were put in the wrong slits of the knife block. Slowly, he rolled to the counter. A few plates were stacked over each other in the kitchen sink. He had to stretch to turn on the water tap. Lukewarm water bubbled out of the slightly chalk-crusted tap. Each evening he had wiped it down with a fresh cloth. As his hands were clean again, he dried them with the towel that hung on the doorknob in front of him and inspected the counter from up close. A few crumbs lay there and on the wall behind the stove he could spot tiny spatters.

He rubbed his hand over his face. Where was he supposed to start?

He stretched himself and got a hold of the knife block. He pulled it to the edge of the counter and took out one of the knives that had been put in the wrong place. The blade was blunt and showed clear signs that it had been used incorrectly and he clenched his teeth. Maybe he could save it if he sharpened it. He opened the drawer next to him, where the sharpening tool was – what a mess! The cutlery was sorted completely wrong and had numerous stains, the bottom of the drawer was covered with crumbs and if he wasn’t wrong, some forks were missing. How could you mess up so much in such a short time?

He took a deep breath and put the organizing of the drawer on his mental list of things to do. An uneasy feeling spread in his stomach as he thought of something. He took out the sharpening tool and placed it next to the knife on the counter, then opened the second drawer and as he had feared, the condition of this one was not much better. Even the third and fourth drawer was completely disorganized.

“Shit,” he murmured, slamming the last drawer shut, only to flinch. Now he’d also broken his kitchen. Carefully he ran his fingers over the edge of the drawer and was relieved that it hadn’t suffered any damage. Franky would probably kill him.

Okay. One thing after another. The knives.

He grabbed the sharpening tool and began his work as he listened to the howling of the wind outside. Water splashed in gusts against the porthole. He sharpened knife after knife and put them back in their right place. It took a while, but when he finally put back the last knife, he had the feeling that he had made at least a little progress.

The plates were still in the sink and he knew it would be pretty hard to get them clean. Letting hot water pool into the sink, he reached for the sponge. The plates were heavily encrusted, but that was no problem for him. At the Baratie he had washed hundreds of plates every day.

However, it became exhausting after a while. He had just rinsed half of the dishes, but his back and shoulders groaned under the unfamiliar posture he had to adopt to be able to reach the sink. The wheelchair threatened to slip away several times when the Sunny was hit by a particularly high wave. Normally, he would help the others to take in the sails now and bring everything that was not firmly attached to the ship to safety. He rolled his shoulders, trying to ignore the pain. After all, the dishes would not wash themselves.

Finally, he had cleaned the last plate and put it on the draining board. His shoulders were stiff with the effort and his back felt as if he had turned it too far in the wrong direction. In short, he felt like an old man. Frustrated, he clicked his tongue and grabbed the towel and the first plate.

His hands were still wet and the porcelain slid through his fingers like a bar of soap. He leaned forward, but the plate just bounced off his hand and dropped to the floor with a clatter, and he was just barely able to hold onto the frame of the wheelchair to keep himself from tipping over.

“Fucking shit!” he cursed. That had not happened to him since his apprenticeship. At that time Zeff had always scolded him and he had to listen to the laughter of the other cooks with red-hot ears. He leaned forward, holding onto the counter with his right hand, and reached for the broken pieces to pick them up. Suddenly, the wheelchair rolled back a little and his hand slid off the counter. He fell forward, his knees ahead, crashing onto the hard ground. He clenched his teeth to keep from screaming out. His left hand throbbed and as he looked at it he noticed that he had cut himself on the shards. The blood welled from a cut in his finger and left smudges on the floor and the porcelain.

He was completely useless, like he’d told Luffy. But nobody listened to him! Had he lost any respect along with his legs so that everyone thought they knew better than him? He was a complete disaster! He grabbed the shard, which was still stuck in his hand, and hurled it across the room, and reached into the other pieces of broken glass and also threw them, smashing them against the wall.

His outburst was brief, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a throb in his hand. He rubbed his face. Slowly, his breath calmed down. This wheelchair was a shitty idea. He couldn’t climb or descend stairs, he couldn’t get to the higher cabinets, and he couldn’t move without using his hands and making them dirty in the process. A nightmare for a cook, a nightmare for him.

He sat next to the wheelchair, in a half-sitting, half-lying position. He had got into this situation himself. He reached out with his uninjured hand, grabbed one of the handles and started to pull himself up, but the wheelchair didn’t stand still. It was an incredible feat of strength to even get into a sitting position and when he finally made it, his forehead was covered in sweat. His bandaged knees throbbed from the previous impact. There was no point in pulling himself up with one hand, so he bit his teeth together, then gripped the handle with his second hand and pushed himself upright. The cut burned like hell and he could feel the skin there tensing, but then he slumped awkwardly into the seat.

His hair stuck to his forehead and he wiped it from his face. There were still some splinters on the floor and shards were scattered on the other side of the room. Even more work.

Heavy footsteps drew closer to the kitchen, announcing that a few moments later the one person he wanted to see the least entered the kitchen.

Zoro strode through the kitchen, walked past him and opened the fridge without hesitation. He had pulled off his shirt and had it slung over his wet shoulders.

"Can't you at least wash yourself before you sully my kitchen with your stench?" Sanji snarled. Zoro glanced over his shoulder as if he had just noticed him. He held an iced bottle of beer in his hand, which he opened with a thumb and put to his mouth to drink. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he then turned to face him.

"It's not clean anyway," he stated with a quick glance at the floor where the dirt of the last week still lay. The wheelchair tires had also left traces. Sanji clenched his teeth. If he had been able to, the mosshead would’ve had a kick in his face for this comment long ago.

"As if you knew what clean even means!" he replied. "I can smell you from here!"

"That comes from sweating," Zoro said with a shrug. Sanji gritted his teeth.

He did not know what exactly, but something bothered him about Zoro’s behavior. Normally, they couldn't have a normal conversation even for five minutes without jumping at each other's throats. He simply riled him up. But Zoro did not seem inclined to start a fight with him at all. His fingers itched to start a real fight with him, but the only weapon he had were his words.

"You have what you wanted," he said instead, pointing at the bottle. "So get out of here."

Zoro took another long swallow.

"And leave you alone in this mess?" he asked sarcastically, tilting his head. "You are wrong. I don’t have what I wanted yet. I came here because I thought you might need... help."

As he uttered the last sentence he averted his eyes as if it actually was hard for him to say it.

"I'll manage on my own." Sanji clenched his teeth. "It only takes a long time to get the kitchen clean again."

Zoro looked at him doubtfully and then asked, "Oh, is that so? And what's for dinner tonight, cook?"

"Why do you care? You'll eat everything you're given anyway. "

Zoro didn’t answer, but opened the cupboard next to him, where a number of pots stood.

"Maybe you need one of these here? Won't it be a bit difficult?"

"Piss off!" Sanji hissed. He did not need anyone to pour salt into his wound.

Zoro turned and walked to the door leading to the small pantry. Franky had built it following the construction of the kitchen, so he did not have to walk any long distances to get his ingredients while cooking. Now, Zoro put his hands on both sides of the door frame and then walked over to Sanji, his hands still in the same position, holding them in front of him.

"A bit narrow, don't you think?" he asked.

"I'll manage!" Sanji spat, teeth clenched.

"Just saying something doesn't make it true."

"Why do you care? I've accepted your apology, Chopper patched me up and Franky built this – this thing for me. It won't get any better!" Sanji grabbed the tires and started to roll away, but Zoro grasped one of them and prevented him from doing so quite abruptly. He bent down to him until their faces were at the same height, only a hand's breadth apart.

"Just because you're so fucking stubborn!" he hissed at him and Sanji stopped abruptly, shocked by the outburst.

"Do you like being in the victim role? Do you want everyone to look at you with pity? Do you want to get away from here, away from your nakama?" Zoro shouted right in his face.

"No!" Sanji yelled back. "I just don't want to live like that!"

Zoro drew back and stood before him with his back straight, his broad shoulders pushed back, an angry flash in his eyes.

"Then don't." he said. "But let me help you. You can't do it alone right now."

"I don't want pity," Sanji said dismissively.

"This is no pity," Zoro said sharply. "You don't want to be a burden? You _are_ a burden like this. And that gets on my nerves. But apparently everyone else here is too afraid to say anything because they're afraid they'd say something wrong, so I probably have to be the one who kicks your ass." The corners of his mouth twisted into a grin. "And believe me, I'd love to do that."

Sanji didn't know if he wanted to beat him up for these cheeky words or not. Every single word hit him and made him more aware of his situation, but he felt as if Zoro had pushed his head into a bucket filled with ice-cold water and released him only as it was almost too late.

He nodded his head at a corner of the kitchen, where a broom hung from a hook.

"Then don't stand there like that and make yourself useful, Marimo."

* * *

Zoro woke up because someone threw a pillow at his face. Grudgingly, he grabbed the pillow and stared into the darkness of the sleeping cabin, into which the first rays of dawn shone. His eyes slid through the cabin, finally catching on Sanji, who looked at him from his hammock.

After convincing Sanji the day before to let him help him, he had taken every chance he could to force him to work – cleaning the floor, setting the pots on the stove, while Sanji was sitting at the table cutting vegetables, stirring the stew, wiping and covering the table and finally clearing everything and rinse. And he had insisted on sleeping with the guys again. Chopper had been against it, because of the dirt and bacteria, but Sanji could not be dissuaded, and finally the little doctor had given in.

"What is it?" Zoro grumbled sleepily, putting the pillow between his arm and his head.

"I want to make breakfast."

"It's too early." Zoro yawned heartily and scratched his chest, ready to turn his back on him.

A second pillow hit his head.

“What the fuck?” he hissed at him, soft enough not to wake the others.

“It's not too early! By the time I’ll be done with a slowpoke like you, Luffy will probably already stand half-starved in the kitchen!”

Luffy murmured something in his sleep and then turned around. Zoro rubbed both of his hands over his face and then sighed deeply.

“Fuck man, all right,” he surrendered and stood up. He didn't bother to put anything on, usually he slept and trained in the same clothes until Nami forced him to wear something new. Since he didn't want to get into more trouble with the witch, he usually obeyed her, albeit reluctantly.

The wheelchair stood next to Sanji’s hammock, where he had parked it the night before. He leaned forward and put one arm under Sanji’s neck and one below his waist and lifted him into the wheelchair. Like the night before, when he’d helped him get into the hammock, Sanji ignored him, but he had long since grown accustomed to the help.

He was about to push him the short distance to the door when Sanji hissed at him, “At least let me wear something fresh, you savage! Unlike you, I don't want to stink all day!”

Zoro rolled his eyes, but waited until Sanji rolled to the small cabinet where he kept his clothes. He watched as Sanji picked out a shirt, laid it over his lap, and then pulled the shirt he had slept in over his head. Sanji’s upper body was still full of bruises from the last fight, but unlike the injury he had inflicted on him they had healed quickly. He swiftly fought down the edge of guilt that overwhelmed him every time he looked at his legs. Sanji had forgiven him, but he hadn't succeeded at that yet.

“... c’mon and help me.” 

Sanji spoke so softly that Zoro almost didn’t hear it. The cook had a pair of trousers in his hand and Zoro noticed his cheeks warming up. Without a comment, he squatted down in front of him and began to pull down his sweatpants. He tried to be as objective as possible and took the new clothes from Sanji’s hand – this time one of those the idiot favored, one of those expensive black dress pants.

He touched one of his leg stumps with his hand and Sanji flinched. The bandages were fresh and white; Chopper had put them on him the previous evening. Zoro slipped his pants over both thighs and Sanji grabbed both sides of the wheelchair to lift himself a bit, so that Zoro could pull his pants up. Sanji quickly closed the button. The trouser legs hung down empty from the wheelchair, but Zoro grabbed his legs unceremoniously, lifted them and put the cloth underneath. Sanji shot him a surprised look, but didn’t change it.

At the stairs Zoro lifted him onto his shoulder and grabbed the wheelchair with his other hand. It was unwieldy, but by no means too heavy for him.

“I’m not a sack of potatoes, you know?” Sanji grumbled.

“I know. At least you'd shut up if you were.”

When they arrived at the kitchen he put him back in the wheelchair. With his arms crossed he waited for instructions.

Sanji rolled to the table and pointed to the fridge.

“We need eggs, bacon, butter...” He paused, thinking for a moment. “And flour and milk.”

“What do you need all this stuff for?” Zoro grumbled, but went to the fridge and took everything out.

“I want to make Eggs Benedict.”

“Eggs what?”

“Benedict, you philistine – and for the ladies perhaps Eggs Florentine. For that we need spinach and pine nuts.”

Zoro stared at him as if he had spoken French.

“What kind of breakfast is that supposed to be?”

“A decent one." Sanji rolled up his sleeves and began kneading a dough from flour, eggs and butter. “Who knows what you fed on in the last week, but it can't have been any good.”

Zoro clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“And what do your eggs start with?”

Sanji went into cooking mode. He instructed Zoro to put the dough, which was formed into little buns, into the oven and then to bring water to boil with some vinegar – a feat that required a bit of patience from both sides as they argued about which vinegar from his collection he should use (Zoro couldn't care less about this, vinegar was vinegar – Sanji thought the swordsman should be drowned in vinegar for this comment). Then the eggs – Sanji flinched as he heard the first egg fall on the floor with a wet splash. “Why did you drop it?” he snapped, and Zoro glared at him angrily.

“It's not like I did it on purpose, idiot!” Zoro retorted as he wiped the egg off and put it in the trash.

“The cup is big enough, how could that go wrong – and why are you throwing it away now?”

“It was on the floor.”

“I could have used that later..." Sanji muttered, albeit a little bit embarrassed. When food fell to the ground – which, of course, never happened to him as a cook – then he was always conflicted about whether he should throw it away or wipe the dirt off it and not waste the good food. In the meantime, Zoro had managed to separate the first eggs successfully over a cup without the egg yolk slipping apart.

“It smells like heaven in here!”

Zoro turned his back on Nami, who had just come in sleepily trough the door. He didn’t want to quarrel with the witch before he had his first training.

“Nami-swan! You’re awake this early? Come, sit down with me. Would you like some coffee or tea?” Sanji began to babble immediately and Zoro rolled his eyes.

“Tea would be nice, thank you, but I can brew it myself,” Nami replied.

“No no, that's not necessary – hey mosshead!” Sanji turned to him. “Make tea for Nami-san.”

Zoro’s eyebrow twitched.

"Do I look like her servant? She can do that herself. Also, I have to take care of the food."

Nami whistled impressed.

"First yesterday's dinner and now also breakfast? Zoro, you'll be a true dream man!" she laughed and started to pour water into a mug.

"Don't worry, I don't care for bitches."

"You bastard! Take that back!" Sanji looked at Nami apologetically. "I'm sorry, darling, that I had to use such words in your presence."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

"What now, cook?" he asked.

"Take one pan – not the one, the other! – and put two tablespoons of oil in it... you don't actually need a spoon for that, you can estimate that – then fry the bacon in it. But only when the pan is hot – too late."

Sanji hit his forehead. 

"Hopeless."

Explaining to Zoro how to make a hollandaise sauce, Nami joined him at the table, holding a steaming cup of tea in her hands. She obviously tried to suppress a grin – and looked pretty adorable.

"Did you have a good night's sleep, Nami-swan?" It felt strange to just have a polite conversation with her without offering her anything. His muscles twitched as if he’d jump from his seat the next moment to serve her a drink.

"Oh, it's so-so." Nami sipped the still hot tea. "The sea has been a bit rough for the last few days."

"How long before it rains?" Zoro asked as he slowly poured the melted butter into the sauce.

"Probably only a few more hours. When I was on the deck, the sky had already darkened."

Sanji, who had not yet noticed that a storm was coming, frowned.

"Why is that important to you, Marimo? Are you afraid that you can’t sleep outside on the deck anymore?"

Zoro threw him an annoyed look over his shoulder as Nami explained, "Actually, we would have arrived at the next island in about four days, but as it stands the storm will slow us down a bit. And our supplies are coming to an end. It's not critical yet, but I'd rather play it safe."

"Hold on, why should our supplies be nearly gone?" Sanji asked confused. "On the last island I've stocked up so well that we had more than enough to travel to the next island!"

Nami sighed.

"Luffy has picked the lock on the pantry." 

"What?!"

Instinctively, Sanji jumped up and lost his balance at the same time. He was barely able to catch his hands on the tabletop and dropped back into his wheelchair, his legs throbbing treacherously, and he bit his lip in pain.

"When?" he finally asked.

"The same night after you..." Nami fell silent and stared at her half-empty cup in embarrassment, but Sanji already knew what she was referring to. Luffy only ate more than the monstrous quantities that he usually devoured for two reasons. This often included nightly visits to his kitchen. The first reason was joy over a successful adventure or a new nakama. The second was when he thought very deeply about something. At first glance Luffy looked like a simpleton, but when he mused on something and came to a solution, he held onto it to the bitter end. Had he been thinking about him that night? When he’d finally come to his room, he had looked determined.

In the next ten minutes, the rest of the crew members trickled into the kitchen. Zoro had just put the last plate on the table when Luffy stormed through the door, coming to a slithering stop in front of his chair and grabbed a huge portion to eat. Behind him, the others arrived in dribs and drabs. Robin smiled at him as she saw the food standing on the table.

"You've certainly outdid yourself, mister cook," she praised him and Sanji beamed.

Zoro put the still steaming bread on the table and then hastily took his own portion before Luffy could snatch it away from him.

"Man, so yummy!" Usopp’s mouth was already full and Sanji grimaced, although the praise was like music to his ears. The eggs were not quite as good as he would have prepared them, but acceptable for a beginner like Zoro. He took a peek at the swordsman, who was quietly shoveling food into his mouth. Of course he hadn’t told him so, but he'd been a real help for him, and without him breakfast would have been nothing but old bread, provided he would have made it into the kitchen in the first place.

Abruptly, Zoro got up and pushed the bench back.

"I'm gonna train." He turned to the door and waved.

"What about rinsing?"

"Are you my nagging wife or what? Usopp can do that."

"Hey!" protested Usopp.

"You can't talk yourself out of this, Usopp. Zoro is right, he's already done his part," Nami said.

He didn’t know why, but that hurt. Of course you had to divide up the work he usually did. It had already started, he had known it. He smiled at Nami and rolled back.

"You can trust me a bit, Nami, my angel." He turned the wheelchair around and headed for the sink. "I can do the rinsing alone."

"No, no no, that's all right, Sanji. We'll do it." She glanced at the sniper. "Won't you, _Usopp_?"

She grabbed the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him to the door. Sanji was too stunned to protest. "Do something nice – read a book or enjoy the weather for a while."

The others passed him to pursue their own activities. Franky stopped next to him and looked at him with an indefinable look.

"Shall I take you somewhere, bro?" he finally asked.

Sanji looked behind him. Nami forced the grumbling Usopp to rinse. She had thrown him out of his own kitchen.

"Just into the cabin, please."

* * *

"Here you are."

Sanji looked up. His back ached because he had been lying in his hammock with almost no movement for several hours. He squinted to see through the darkness in the cabin.

Zoro stood at the bottom of the stairs and frowned at him.

"What do you want?"

"I'm hungry. And it's almost noon."

Slowly, he came towards him, his arms crossed in front of him. He glared at him.

"So I thought – where could the cook be? Surely he'd be in the kitchen where he belongs."

"You can save your chauvinistic blathering-"

"But he wasn't!" Zoro interrupted. "No, he's hiding here, in the dark, like a-"

"I'm not hiding!" Sanji wanted to sit up, but the hammock swayed too much and he sank back and pulled the blanket all the way up to his armpits. "I was just tired. And what should I’ve done anyway? I'm not much help in my own kitchen."

"Spare me your self-pity!" Zoro snapped, then suddenly stopped. "Tired?" he asked. "From what exactly?

Sanji looked to the side.

"Because I had to tolerate you all day-"

Zoro put a hand on his forehead.

"Hey, stop that!"

"You feel hot." He looked at him and Sanji thought he saw fear in his eyes for a moment. "Shit." He turned on his heel and disappeared.

"What the hell..." Sanji closed his eyes. He was tired, nothing more. He was warm, but that was only because of the blanket with which he had covered himself. His legs had been throbbing painfully for hours, but what could you expect when you got them chopped off?

He heard someone banging down the stairs and opened his eyes to two narrow slits. Chopper hurried towards him, holding his little doctor's bag in his hand. Zoro followed him. Without further ado, he put a clinical thermometer in his mouth.

"Hey, what the fuck?"

"Shut up." Chopper looked concentrated at the thermometer. His eyes widened as it started to beep. "You have a fever of 40 degrees. How are you otherwise? Do you feel any pain? Dizziness?"

Sanji started to shake his head, but everything began to spin. He felt Chopper pick up the blanket and fiddle with his bandages. Zoro, who was standing behind him, breathed in audibly. Chopper turned to him.

"Take him to the infirmary. Immediately."

* * *

The next few minutes passed as if he were caught in a whirlwind. He was transported back to the infirmary and Zoro laid him down on the bed while Chopper rummaged in his medicine cabinet.

"What are you doing? I'm just not quite fit yet, but you don't have to panic!" he complained and wanted to get up again, but Zoro pushed him down.

Chopper looked at him reproachfully.

"You should've let me know that you didn't feel well!" He began to undo his bandages and the pain made him suck in his breath as the white fabric came off his skin. A cloying smell crept into his nose.

"Damn!" Chopper cursed as he had undone both bandages. "It's inflamed. Some dirt has to have gotten into the wound."

Sanji dared to catch a glimpse of his leg stumps and gagged. In the last week, a thin skin had begun to form over his wound, but in some places it was torn and gleamed yellowish.

"This is pus. I will remove it and treat the injury with an antibiotic that should curb the inflammation." Chopper looked at him doubtfully. "I know you just got up, but you should stay in bed for the next few days. If the wound doesn't close soon, more bacteria could invade and then..." He left the sentence unsaid.

"Has he overexerted himself?" A crease had formed between Zoro's eyebrows. Chopper shook his head.

"It's hard to say."

Sanji's head was still buzzing. It was much cooler in the infirmary than in the cabin, but he still felt hot and he was sweating.

"I barely did anything! Why does that happen now?"

"Bacteria are everywhere... and you don't get over a wound like this so easily." Chopper hung his head. "I should have kept you here longer, or used more antibiotics..."

Zoro put a hand on the little doctor's shoulder.

"You've done everything you could, I'm sure."

Chopper nodded and stroked the ointment onto the wound – it burned like hell. Sanji gritted his teeth. He noticed that Zoro was staring at him.

"How about you make yourself useful for a chance?" he said nastily to him. "Just make lunch, but be careful that you don't abuse my kitchen any more!"

Zoro looked as if he wanted to respond, but he closed his mouth at the last moment and turned on his heel. Sanji sank into the pillow and waited for the pain to fade away.

"He's just worried, you know." Chopper said quietly as he put on a fresh bandage.

"He can shove it somewhere else." Sanji closed his eyes. "Without him, I wouldn't be here now."

* * *

Zoro slammed the door behind himself. The cook could bite his ass – the others could see for themselves what they got to eat; it was not like he could actually do anything in the kitchen without the cook.

He could hear Chopper's soft voice through the wooden door, but couldn't understand what he said. It didn’t matter. Sanji felt worse – but he didn’t believe Chopper had treated him wrong. If anybody could help him it was Chopper.

His swords rattled softly on his hip as he descended the steps into the bow of the ship. He hadn’t trained enough in the last few days: when he'd offered the cook his help he hadn't expected cooking to be so time-consuming. (Not that he regretted his offer, never. There were other things to regret.)

He was about to climb back to the crow's nest as he had an idea and turned around.

Franky was in his workshop, as was to be expected, and tinkered with something. He looked up as he saw him come in.

"What brings you here, bro? Are you already done with your training?" he asked with a wink.

Zoro shook his head and looked at the chaos in the small room. The walls were completely covered with shelves and crammed with silvery steel – rods, screws, plates; the most varied tools, most of which he didn't know the use of, were stored in the shelf to his left, along with other materials such as wood, copper, and other metals. On his desk, a piece of metal peeked out from under a pile of paperwork.

"You said you were working on something," he said finally, a little uncomfortable. It was rare for him to visit the workshop by himself. Franky grinned at him.

"I'm almost done with that! All I need is the measurements."

He got up, stretched and then went to the desk.

"I think Sanji will like it. How is he doing by the way?"

"Not good. Chopper is treating him right now."

Franky’s smile vanished.

"Shit, man, what happened?"

"It's inflamed," Zoro answered curtly. He didn't want to talk about it. "He's already pissed off enough that I have to carry him everywhere."

"Well, as for that I have something that'll change that pretty soon!"

With a movement of his arms he pushed the drawings aside and Zoro's eyes widened. There were two legs on the desk. No real ones, of course. The thighs looked almost like a human's, had it not been for the metallic sheen and where the knee should have been, a round joint had been installed. The most noticeable were the feet. As real as the upper part of the leg looked like, as different was the piece of metal that almost curved into a semicircle. Towards the bottom, the curve flattened.

Zoro reached out and touched it carefully. It felt cold. Lifeless. But these were legs and it was clear how Franky wanted to help the cook. It would not bring his real legs back, but it came damn close.

Franky stood beside him, almost vibrating with excitement.

"Well, what do you think?"

Zoro looked at him, the familiar weight of his swords on his hip, which were like three additional arms to him. Without his swords he'd feel naked and helpless. What would the cook say when he told him that he'd soon be able to walk on his own again?

He grinned widely.

"That will show him how it's done."

* * *

It didn't get better. The antibiotics helped a little, but on the third day that Sanji spent in the infirmary, Chopper finally came up to his bed and looked at him seriously. Zoro leaned outside of the infirmary’s door and watched him with a gloomy face. He hadn't blocked the door as he had before, but he'd been the one to spend most of his time with Chopper. Most of the time they had barely talked to each other and the one time Zoro had tried to train with his huge weights in the infirmary, Chopper had kicked him out. Zoro had gone to work out and returned in the evening.

Now Sanji tried to ignore Zoro and concentrate on Chopper.

Chopper took a deep breath and then let the air escape.

"I have to cut away a bit."

It was as he were doused with hot water. The moment of shock lasted only a second, then he tore off the covers and started to run away. He did not get far; Chopper pushed him back on bed and looked at him pleadingly.

"It sounds worse than it is!"

"I don't want you to cut any more away from me!"

"If I don't, the inflammation will spread even more! The tissue is already dead, there is nothing to save!"

Sanji tried to push Chopper away, his hands clawed into the fur, but Chopper stood firm and braced himself against him.

"Leave me! Just let me alone!"

This time he tried to crawl away from him, but Chopper prevented that, too.

"Please Sanji, it's only an inch."

"Just an inch? That's my leg!" Sanji shouted at him. He noticed Zoro coming in, only struggling harder. They'd give him a sedative shot again, it was as if he was trapped in a recurring nightmare. "Don’t touch me!"

Zoro held out his hands and Sanji jerked back; he had a much lower chance against Zoro, unlike him he had a lot of upper body strength. It would have been easy to kick him if he still had his legs.

"Zoro, I-" Chopper began and Sanji moved and slid to the edge of the bed.

"You're going to die." Zoro's voice was hard. Sanji halted. "If you don’t let Chopper do it. Do you think he does that to bully you?" This time it was Chopper who flinched. Sanji fixated his gaze on the opposite wall. "If he says he has to do it, then he _really_ has to do it. Then there's no way around it. And what use are you if you're dead? Who do you want to protect?"

He heard Zoro's heavy breathing and did not dare to look up.

"I do not want to bury you."

Sanji's fingers clenched in the sheet under him. Zoro's voice was barely audible.

Zoro's emotions were about the span of an edgy rock, he only knew him as stubborn, bloodthirsty, or mad with rage. But they didn’t have open, trusting conversations, they didn’t pour their hearts out to each other. And yet it had sounded as if it had cost the swordsman quite a bit of strength to say that sentence.

He looked up, but Zoro was already gone.

Chopper took a step towards him and looked at him questioningly. Sanji's leg throbbed. Somewhere, in a part of his brain which was still logical, he knew Chopper was right. The inflammation had only worsened in the last days, the outermost edges were blackened and hurt like hell.

He nodded slowly.

Chopper filled a syringe.

"That's an anesthetic," he said, dabbing Sanji's upper arm with a white cotton ball. "You won't feel anything." It hurt a bit as he poked the pointy needle through his skin, and as Sanji slowly dimmed away, he wondered how much of him would be left in the end.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! This chapter has some important stuff in it, I hope you'll enjoy! :D  
> Thank you all for your kind comments - my week was kinda busy so I didn't get to answer them >-<

As he woke up the pain was gone. That was the first thing he noticed, and for a moment he just lay there with his eyes closed, burrowing deeper into the blanket which smelt of disinfectant.

Then his memories hit him. He opened his eyes and wrenched the blanket off his body and looked down, but his legs were bandaged. He stared until he was almost sick of the sight. He had previously avoided looking at his mutilated legs. Even now it still felt surreal, as if someone had put a false image over reality. Now he squinted and forced himself not to look away. How much had Chopper cut off? Was it an inch? More? He couldn’t see any difference.

He heard someone approach the infirmary and hurriedly laid back, pulled the blanket over himself and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.

The soft tap of hooves on the wooden floorboards gave away that it was Chopper. The reindeer approached his bed and wiped a strand of hair from his face. Then Chopper folded the covers back from his legs, checked the bandages, and covered them again. Sanji kept his eyes closed and pretended to be asleep, even as Chopper sat down at his desk, started to mix some medicine and finally put a heavy book on the tabletop and began to read.

Several hours had probably passed as someone came to the infirmary again. A man, as he recognized by the heavy steps, clacking softly and metallic. Was that Franky or Zoro?

"How is he?" That was Franky's voice.

"Better." Chopper pushed the chair back. "The inflammation has gone down and the tissue can finally heal."

"How long do ya think it'll take? Until he's completely healed, I mean." Franky sounded hopeful.

"If all goes well, about two more weeks."

"That long? You don't want to keep him down here, do you?"

Chopper sighed heavily.

"I'd prefer him to stay in bed for the next ten days. I don't want to risk anything."

"He won't like that at all."

"It's for his health!" Chopper shouted forcefully. "I won't allow myself to make another mistake like that."

"Bro, it wasn't a mistake. It was just bad luck." Sanji suspected that Franky put a hand on his furry shoulder. "And it was good for him to get out of here. Just lying around would have made him crazy. You did the right thing."

"I hope you're right…"

* * *

The day passed and Sanji stayed in bed. Gradually, other crew members came to visit him in the infirmary, but he kept his eyes closed and breathed deeply and slowly, so that no one actually noticed that he wasn't asleep. Usopp talked to Chopper for a while and Nami stroked his cheek, but even that didn't make him want to open his eyes. He didn't want to talk to anyone. In between, he actually nodded off, but after lying in bed with almost no movement all day, his back ached and he felt drained.

It was already late in the evening and Chopper had recently gone to sleep when the door opened again. He knew exactly who wanted to annoy him this time.

"I'm sure there's a reason for you ignoring everyone." Zoro's voice was neutral, as if he was holding back. Sanji said nothing and kept his eyes closed. Zoro clicked his tongue in annoyance. "I know you're not sleeping."

"Other people piss off when they realize they're not wanted," Sanji said harshly.

"Then you have to do more than just spout a few insults."

Sanji opened an eye and looked at him.

"Miss me already? Or are you that helpless without me in the kitchen?" he mocked.

"I wasn't in the kitchen."

"What? But the others-"

"They get by just as well without me as they do with me. And I had other things to do."

"Polished your muscles again, huh?"

"I was with Franky." Zoro looked at the wheelchair standing by the bed. "He has something for you."

Sanji's eyes widened.

"I don't want any more of his fucking inventions!" he protested.

"This one's better. Much better." Zoro smiled weakly at him. "They're prostheses."

Sanji said nothing. He knew what prostheses were. He'd already seen them a few times. Even his foster father had been advised to have some fitted, but he'd refused. He hadn't liked the idea of them, they were too close to the real thing, but so different from them that he'd preferred the peg leg. Sanji didn't want a peg leg. Nor did he want anything made of plastic and metal that just looked like a leg, but wasn't one. Something stiff, unyielding, something that only reminded him of his loss.

"I don't want them."

Zoro's smile faded.

"Why the hell not?"

Sanji bit his lip.

"I want my real legs back."

"You know as well as I do that that's not possible."

"I bet you know it even better."

Zoro's face was like stone.

"So you haven’t really forgiven me," he said.

Sanji shook his head, his lips pressed together.

"I understand." Zoro tightened his grip on his sword. "I'll ask Luffy to take me to the nearest port."

"Stop it!" Sanji snapped. "Nobody leaves anyone here, do you understand?" Breathing heavily he continued, "I'll admit that me forgiving you was a lie. But I don't want you to leave Luffy because of that. I - I just have to deal with it, okay? I just need a little more time."

Zoro hesitated and finally nodded, a barely visible movement.

"And the prostheses?"

"I don't want them."

"You already said that."

"Then ask me something else if you want to have a different answer."

"Why don't you want them?"

"You've already asked me that."

"But I haven't received an answer yet."

"It's-" Sanji bit his lip and looked sideways. "They aren't my legs." He nodded towards the wheelchair. "This ... is just a device that is supposed to make it a bit easier. But it's not a real substitute. It isn't designed to look like that either. But prostheses? They're supposed to do the job my legs did, but they won't do it exactly like them. There will be differences. I won't be able to move as well as I used to, and any little difference will only make it worse."

"Bullshit." Zoro came nearer and sat down beside him on the edge of the bed. The mattress lowered under his weight. "Of course there will be differences! Those aren’t your legs, you can say goodbye to them. But you can walk with them again – or do you want to be carried by me for the rest of your life?"

Sanji's cheeks warmed.

"Don't be smug about it, algae brain," he mumbled.

"Franky has the prostheses almost done," Zoro continued. "All he has to do is take your measurements and in a few weeks-"

"What of 'I don't want them' don't you get? Or are there really only vegetables in your head?" Sanji snapped, turning his back on him and pulling the blanket over his head again.

"And why don't you understand that it's the best you will get?"

"Just leave me alone." Under the blanket, Sanji closed his eyes. He didn't want them. He wanted his legs back and not just some replacement. He dreaded buckling on these things and stumbling around like a scarecrow on stilts.

"Eventually, you'll have to accept it."

He felt the mattress move as Zoro stood up. Zoro paused beside his bed for a moment as if to say something else, but Sanji remained silent and closed his eyes again, eventually hearing the door to the infirmary close again.

Time passed as slow as honey. Sanji was almost bored to death while he was bound to the bed. Robin provided him with books and Usopp came in once a day and told him about the events on the ship, albeit in a highly exaggerated way. Chopper changed his bandages regularly and pumped him full with antibiotics, at least that was how it felt. In between, they docked at an island, refilled their supplies and departed again. Nami brought him a self-mixed drink, which he choked on and spilled half of it. Brook played for him on his violin. Now that the mosshead was no longer playing guard at his door, visitors came like ants through a small crack in the door.

He didn't want any of that. He wanted to stand in the kitchen and cook, pamper his pretty women with a delicious dessert and make cotton candy specially for Chopper. Instead, he'd only been allowed to sniff a bit of freedom before being dumped back here.

Nine days after the operation and one day before Chopper had promised to let him out of bed, Franky came in for the first time. Sanji stared at him in astonishment.

"Did you run across the ship with that?"

"Relax, no one saw me." Franky winked at him. "But I didn't know this was a secret mission."

"Apparently nobody told you I didn't want them." Sanji looked away. Surely Franky just wanted to help him. But he didn't want any metal on his body, anything that didn't belong to him.

Franky grimaced, but his smile remained intact. He leaned the two prostheses against the edge of the bed, pulled up Choppers little stool and straddled it.

"Actually, Zoro came to me and told me."

"Then you know everything."

Franky nodded.

"But I thought maybe you had the wrong idea. That's why I wanted to talk to you, buddy to buddy."

Sanji looked at him doubtfully.

"I think I got it just well enough."

"You don't want anything foreign on your body, am I right?" Franky rested both of his powerful arms on his knees. There were cannons in them, Sanji thought. Even the skin that stretched over it was not real anymore. How much was left of the original Franky and how much was metal and wires? "Back then, when I ... had this accident, it was about life and death. I had no choice but to use what was there. And I've been lucky enough to survive at all."

"That's different."

"Why?" Franky challenged.

"You just said yourself that you had no choice! Otherwise you would've been done for!"

"If Chopper hadn't been with you this quick, you would’ve been, too," Franky said grimly. It would have been better too, Sanji thought, startling himself.

"I want to live," he said with a firm voice, as if he had to convince himself.

"Then take the prostheses. You do want to be able to walk again, don't you?"

Sanji kept silent. Franky was right, he knew that. He squinted over to the two prostheses, but from his position he couldn't see them properly.

"Do you want to see them?" Before Sanji had a chance to answer, Franky had already got up and put one of the prostheses in his hand.

They felt strange, cold and lifeless. The metal was lighter than he'd expected and smoothly polished. Reluctantly, he turned them over in his hands and examined the knee joint and the bow that had been attached in place of a foot.

"At first, I tried to build a proper foot. With toes, a heel and so on," Franky explained, "but it's too complicated. All the sinews and muscles which a real foot has are very hard to replicate and way too fragile. I'd have to fix it all the time, especially after a fight. And I know how much you like to brawl with Zoro."

"You talked to Chopper," Sanji said in amazement. Franky nodded.

"I've never tried to build something like that, you know. But according to my calculations, it should work."

"Should work?"

"Now, don't be so negative! It's going to be awesome!" Franky fished out a folding ruler as well as a pen and paper. "Let me adjust it to you so I can convince you. Does that sound like a deal?"

Sanji hesitated. Being able to walk again was tempting, but would he ever feel comfortable with these _things_? Or would it feel like walking on stilts? But he remembered what the mosshead had said – he wouldn't be able to protect anyone like this. Not even himself.

"All right. You can measure me up ... but that doesn't mean that I want them!"

Franky pushed the blanket aside and laid his leg stumps bare. Sanji looked away, he didn't want to see the look of disgust on Franky’s face. The prosthesis in his hands was slowly warming from his own body heat. He wondered how it would be attached to his leg – the artificial thigh would probably reach nearly to his waist, so he guessed he had to put it over his legs.

Franky touched his leg and he flinched.

"Sorry, bro. I _have_ to touch you for it."

Sanji looked away.

"It's okay," he murmured, tentatively reaching out and touching the inside of the artificial thigh. It was made of some kind of plastic, almost like rubber. He stroked his fingers over it. Franky put the folding ruler away and straightened up. Startled, Sanji withdrew his hand and held out the prosthesis. Franky took it back.

"How do you like them?"

Sanji abstained from throwing something mean at his head. Instead, he asked him, "What's that stuff inside? Rubber?"

Franky’s face lit up.

"Something like that. That's for not slipping out. In addition, it sticks to the skin so that no air gets in between."

"And it won’t drop down?"

Franky grinned and held his thumb up.

"Bro's honor!"

* * *

The next day, he was allowed to leave the infirmary. His wounds had finally healed and according to Chopper, he was allowed to try on the prostheses in two to three weeks. He had forbidden him to work in any way and he hoped he could make the algae brain put something decent on the table.

The little doctor helped him up the stairs and then put him in his wheelchair. He was glad to finally be able to move again, even if it was only like this, and slowly rolled to his kitchen.

Zoro leaned against the wall next to the fridge and drank from a bottle of sake. Sanji grabbed the broom next to the door and threw it at him, but Zoro caught the broom without any problems.

"Hey mosshead! Who allowed you to loot the storeroom?"

Zoro set the bottle down, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned broadly.

"Stop me if you can." He started drinking again.

"You know for a fact that I can't do that," Sanji said, passing him. Zoro grimaced.

"You rejected them. The prostheses," he finally said as Sanji opened the fridge and pulled out several pork loins for dinner. 

"I'm impressed. You can remember things that were more than two hours ago," Sanji teased. Zoro clenched his teeth, he visibly had to pull himself together and crossed his arms.

"You also rejected them after Franky talked to you! Why? Do you want to stay like this?"

Sanji refused to answer. Zoro knew that was not true – but that didn't mean that this awful construction was a true alternative for him.

"Are you really so vain that you would rather sit in a wheelchair for the rest of your life? That you have to depend on others? That you can't protect anyone, not even yourself?"

Sanji picked up a chopping board and opened the knife drawer. Zoro stared at him for a moment as he slowly rolled to the table, balancing the meat and kitchen utensils on his lap.

"Then you were right." He walked past him. "You really are a burden."

Sanji didn't look up as he left. He heard Zoro slamming the door behind him and began to cut the loins into even pieces.

He was right. But nobody had wanted to hear him out and now it was too late. Or maybe not. He stared at the knife and at the red juice sticking to the blade.

He shook his head. It was nonsense to think such a thing. He couldn't do that to his friends. But wouldn't he kill all of them anyway if he stayed here?

The door opened again.

"Wanna annoy me again?" Sanji growled without turning around.

"Um ... I heard a bang," he heard a timid voice and looked up. Usopp stood in the doorway and ran his hands over the hinges. Then he looked at Sanji. "Everything okay?"

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

Usopp looked around the kitchen.

"Doesn't Zoro usually help you cook? And didn't Chopper ban you from working? Well, not that you couldn't do that, but-"

Sanji held up the knife.

"Want to stop me?"

Usopp blanched.

"Oh no no no!"

"Good."

Usopp watched him silently.

“Can I – can I help you?”

Why was he always offered help? He was inclined to refuse, until he remembered that Zoro had disappeared and unfortunately he could use the help.

"You can hardly be worse than the Marimo. Grab celery and carrots from the pantry and cut them into small slices." Usopp disappeared into the chamber.

He planned a hearty meal from the loins, a curry sauce, and mountains of rice so Luffy would be satisfied. Once again he hadn't been able to fulfill his duties as a cook – afterwards, he'd make a dessert. Usopp came back and got to work. He was actually better than the swordsman, who was good with a knife, but didn’t pay much attention to precision. He was particularly annoyed knowing he could do better, but simply put no great store on it. Usopp, however, paid attention to every detail.

The next hour flew by. They were hardly bothered, only Robin came by once, brewed herself a cup of coffee and left after she giving him a small smile. The pork loins sizzled in the pan, the curry sauce sat on the stove and bubbled softly and the rice was almost cooked. While Usopp prepared the caramel lemon parfait, he suddenly heard noise from the deck. 

Usopp stopped, whisk in hand. Sanji pricked his ears.

"Are Luffy and Chopper scuffling with each other?" Usopp guessed, but Sanji shook his head. Something clattered, someone shouted.

"We're being attacked."

He looked at Usopp with wide eyes. The wheelchair suddenly felt too tight, he thought he heard Nami's voice. Usopp had turned into a pillar of salt.

"What are you waiting for?" Sanji stretched and nudged him. "Come on! Run outside!"

Usopp sprinted off and was already out of the kitchen when he turned back and stuck his head in at the door.

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine!" Sanji gripped the knife harder. It was a sacrilege to fight in his kitchen, let alone abuse his good blades, but he had no other choice. He nodded at Usopp, teeth clenched. The sniper looked as if he didn't want to listen to him, but then he plucked up his courage, hurriedly closed the door behind him and ran to the right, out onto the deck where the fighting noise grew louder and louder.

Sanji's muscles convulsed as he sat in the kitchen, not doing anything. The pan was still on. He didn't dare to look away from the door as he rolled backwards and switched off the stove with his arm outstretched.

He heard swords clank, Luffy's laughter and the explosions of Usopp's slingshot. He should be out there too. He should fuck up those marines’ shitty minions with a roundhouse kick and not sit around uselessly waiting for someone to come in and attack him.

Shit, he was even afraid of it. How well could he defend himself with a knife? He had barely any leverage while sitting, and the muscles in his upper body were not very strong anyway. His hand was shaking. He grabbed the knife even tighter. Did he have anything else to fight back? A pan? Ridiculous. Maybe he should clamp the broom under the doorknob so nobody could get in here. Like a little kitchen girl.

Why did it take so long? Usually they would finish off the navy in less than five minutes, unless – unless they had to deal with someone stronger. Would they manage without him? He had been one of the strongest of the crew. It was a hard blow to their fighting power.

Someone stomped up the stairs to the upper deck. Maybe it was Zoro with his heavy boots; he heard him run down the corridor and then the door was torn open.

It wasn't Zoro.

The marine looked puzzled for a moment when he noticed Sanji. Then he raised his sword and came up to him.

Sanji raised the knife, which now looked ridiculously small against the soldier's long sword, and tried not to show his fear.

"Didn't know that the Straw Hats also accept cripples!" the marine laughed, swinging his weapon at him; Sanji ducked and the blade hit the back of his wheelchair and got stuck there, he raised the knife and pushed up, but the marine avoided him and released the sword.

"You look familiar," he said, circling him. Sanji gritted his teeth. The marine was out of reach and he could hardly let go of the knife to grab the wheels and drive towards him. He could only defend himself. "Ah, I've got it! But that – you are Blackleg Sanji! I envisioned you to be stronger."

"You just got me in a bad moment," Sanji replied. His eyes darted to the door, hoping someone would come soon.

"It doesn't look like it's just a moment." The marine grinned. "You have a damn high bounty on you. If I catch you-" He raised his sword again and Sanji held his breath. "How about you surrender now? Surely you're more worth living because everybody thinks-"

He faltered. His eyes widened and Sanji looked down at the blood-red blade sticking out of his attacker's chest. The sword was withdrawn and the marine collapsed. Zoro stood before him, covered in blood and sweat, wiping the blade on the dead man's clothing. Their eyes met.

Only now he realized that he was trembling. The knife slipped out of his hand and clattered on the floor. Zoro looked as if he wanted to say something, but he was breathing hard and staring at him and the knife, then at the marine he had just killed.

He hadn’t been able to do anything. It wasn’t just that he was gravely restricted by the wheelchair. He had been frozen in fear, he hadn't been able to move and he had been on the verge of curling up into a ball and just waiting for the fatal blow.

The battle was still raging on the deck. Sanji swallowed, his throat feeling dry.

"Go," he said, his voice harsh.

"You can't-"

"I know." A drop of sweat slid down his neck. "But the others need you. I-I'll lock the door."

That wouldn't stop anyone for long though and they both knew that. But Zoro only nodded briefly, gave him one last look and disappeared again.

Sanji watched the dead man on the ground. He had the irrational fear that he might not be quite dead yet and would get up at any moment. He rolled to the door, holding the knife handle between his teeth, and put the broom under the doorknob. Then he drove to the pantry. The door was not wide enough, so he slid out of the wheelchair onto the floor and continued to pull himself forward with his hands. As he supported himself with one hand, he pushed the sliding door shut behind him.

It was cold and dark in the chamber. There was a hint of light falling through the narrow gap under the door. The sounds from the deck had become a dull noise.

He hadn't been able to do anything. He had been completely helpless. Any new recruit could kill him unless he was saved or hid himself, as he did right now. He stared blankly at the crack of light and listened intensely.

Outside, the broom dropped to the floor.

He tried to breathe as softly as possible when the door opened and someone moved with heavy steps through the kitchen. Suddenly, a shadow fell over the crack of light and he cursed himself for having left the knife out there next to the body, the door slid open – and Usopp looked down at him.

Sanji swallowed. Usopp held out a hand, but he knocked it away and pulled himself up on the wheelchair. When he was safely back inside, he took a deep breath and looked resolutely at Usopp.

"Tell Franky that I need the prostheses."

* * *

Several weeks passed and Sanji's wounds finally healed. Most of the time he avoided looking at his legs. They were still hurting and he just didn't understand how something like that could be, when there was nothing left with which to feel.

But it became easier. The crew gradually ceased to sneak around him, as if another body part would fall off any moment and he had almost gotten used to the wheelchair. Franky had installed some kind of elevator on the large staircase that led from the upper to the main deck so that he could drive up and down unaided with the wheelchair. Chopper helped him in the bathroom and Sanji had soon forgotten how to be embarrassed about that. Zoro had marched into his kitchen the day after the attack without saying a word, had started to fetch pots and pans from the cupboards and then had turned around to him challengingly. They didn't talk about it, but everything was as before. At least almost.

It was as if someone had raised a wall between them and Sanji didn't know what to do about it. At first, it had been pleasant that the Marimo silently obeyed his instructions. They worked more effectively; Zoro got the ingredients and stirred and watched the stove and Sanji cut everything into small bits. But after a short while, the silence strained his nerves. And so he began to criticize Zoro for the smallest mistakes, just to lure a reaction out of him. Sometimes he insulted him just because. He achieved what he wanted – Zoro talked to him, meaning they shouted at each other.

But it wasn't satisfactory. At some point, Zoro always turned his back on him, took a few deep breaths, and then devoted himself to the task he had previously interrupted. And Sanji knew why. They could yell at each other as much as they wanted – but they couldn't fight. Until recently, he hadn't known how much he’d miss his almost daily fights with the swordsman, but now he became aware of it with every shouting that ended abruptly and unnaturally for both of them.

But all of that would change soon. His wounds had finally healed after nearly three weeks and Chopper had attested him perfect health. Franky had nodded to him at breakfast in the morning and, after everyone but Zoro had left the kitchen, had put his hand on his shoulder and told him he could try the prostheses on for the first time.

And now he was sitting with Chopper and Franky in the infirmary. The wheelchair had been pushed to the side and the blanket he’d always placed over his lap lay folded next to him. Chopper inspected the stumps one last time, while Sanji, red-faced, looked sideways. It was not the first time that Franky saw him like that – he'd remeasured them a couple of times in the last few days – but it was hard to pretend that this situation was completely normal.

The two prostheses leaned next to him against the bed. Franky had polished them brightly, as if that would make it easier for him to accept them.

Chopper stepped aside.

"All right. You can try them on now," he said and Franky squatted in front of him and picked up some sort of stocking.

"Stretch out your leg."

Sanji raised his right leg so that it was parallel to the floor. Franky had pulled up a chair and touched his thigh to put it in the right position. Sanji flinched. They had talked about it in detail over the last few days, but it was strange that someone else touched him where he barely could bear to look at.

Franky lifted his leg into his lap and pulled the stocking over him. Then he took the first prosthesis and positioned it on his knee.

"Push a little against it – yes, just like that." The prosthesis glided over his knee without resistance and this time he couldn't avert his gaze – it wasn’t his leg, but at least it didn't stop abruptly at his knee. Still, the sight was confusing; the shiny surface of the metal instead of his lower leg, the curved arch instead of his foot. It was much longer than his foot had been and he wondered why Franky had opted to construct it this way.

Franky pressed a button in the back of his knee and immediately Sanji felt the prosthesis contract a tiny bit.

Franky looked at him worriedly.

"Is it too tight?"

Sanji pulled the leg off his lap and set it down on the floor. He shook his head. Franky grinned broadly.

"Super!" He took the other stocking, pulled it on and put on the second prosthesis. This time he didn't startle as the prosthesis closed more tightly around his leg and he set it down.

"How does it feel?" Chopper cautiously stepped closer and eyed the prostheses. Sanji needed a moment to put his thoughts into words.

"It's ... good, I think," he finally said, pushing a leg a few inches over the floor. Instinctively he wanted to move his toes, but the thought just slid down to his knee, translating into a twitch of his muscles. He felt as if he needed to be able to feel something below his knees again, but the prostheses were only made of metal and plastic, not flesh and nerves. It was like someone had taken out his brain and put it back in the wrong way.

"Does it pinch anywhere? Or is it too loose? I can still change everything, you just have to say it!"

Sanji shook his head. By now, he barely felt it on his skin. Franky had cut the prostheses accurate to a millimeter. Chopper put a hoof on his shoulder and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Sanji? Do you want to get up?"

He swallowed. It was such a simple question, but at that moment he realized the full implication of what the prostheses would enable him to do. Chopper turned into Heavy Point next to him and he and Franky supported him together as he awkwardly got up from the bed.

He felt unsteady. The ground underneath rocked softly with the waves, and he lacked the grip that his soles normally would have given him. He tried to balance by shifting his hips, but the ship's swaying thwarted his plans and he stumbled. Chopper and Franky were immediately next to him, tightening their grip on his arms and holding him up.

Sanji gritted his teeth. He had to do it! Again, he shifted his weight and focused on a point on the wall, a trick he had learned many years ago to keep his balance. The ship creaked. He had never been so aware of how much a ship could move on the high seas, having spent most of his life on the sea and never having a balance problem.

He stumbled again and cursed. Was it even possible to run on those damned things? If he could only manage it somehow, he’d kick Zoro overboard with it to get his revenge!

Chopper moved closer to him and tightened his grip. He couldn't bear it anymore.

"Let me go."

"But Sanji-"

"Please, let go of me!" He looked at Chopper, who surveyed him doubtfully. "I have to do it on my own."

Chopper released his grip and a moment later Franky did so, too. For a second, Sanji stood alone on his two new legs, arms outstretched to the side. Then the ship staggered in the other direction and he stumbled, this time without purchase, and fell to the ground; he was barely able to catch himself with his hands, his metal feet scraping hard on the floorboards.

"Shit!" He stared at the floor in frustration. Chopper tried to rush to his aid, but Franky held him back.

With difficulty, Sanji roused himself by kneeling first with one leg and then pushing up with the other. The ship was still swaying and he held onto the bed frame, his upper body bent forward so as not to fall over. He took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on a point. The staggering of the ship came again, but this time he had expected it and shifted his weight accordingly. It was not perfect; he still felt a faint feeling in his stomach that he was about to tip over, but this time he remained standing.

His legs trembled with the unfamiliar strain. He had lost a lot of strength in the last few weeks.

He focused on the ship's movements as he slowly lifted a leg off the ground and lowered it half a step further. He felt the eyes of the other two on his back and was glad that they were the only ones who could see him in this degrading position. He shifted the weight to his right side and took another tiny step.

If he reached out with his hands, he could touch the wall beside the bed. Slowly, he released his grip from the frame and straightened up. He stood – on shaky legs, but he took a step towards the wall and leaned on it again. It had been short, but he had stood. His legs couldn't hold him anymore and he slid down the wall.

Franky stepped next to him and put one of his huge hands on his shoulder.

"Are you all right, bro?"

His cheeks were wet. He wondered why.

He couldn't speak right now. A thick lump had formed in his throat and he dropped his head so that his hair fell into his face. He hoped Franky understood him anyway.

* * *

He made good progress. That's what Chopper told him all the time anyway, but it felt incredibly slow to him. Most of the time he still used the wheelchair and was only allowed to practice with the prostheses for a few hours a day. He should get used to it first and not overexert himself, he should first build up his muscles and so on.

The crew was excited about his attempts to walk. The infirmary had become too small to go more than three or four steps in a row, so he had begun to walk along the railing on the back deck, one hand always hovering over it. It was good to be outside, the wind in his hair and the ground under his feet; even though they were not his own, they became more and more natural to him.

Early in the morning, so that no one could watch him while he did it, he put on his prostheses in his kitchen for the first time. The process had become so familiar to him that he could do it without having to think much; first the stocking to protect his skin from friction, then the prosthesis, then the button to squeeze out the last bit of air between his knee and the prosthesis. It fitted perfectly, Franky had done a great job. It was still confusing not to feel anything in them, even if he could move again, but after a few steps he usually got used to it and was able to ignore it.

Only the phantom pain remained. Sometimes he felt like his knee was tingling, sometimes he thought he had stepped on something sharp and he moved his toes – at least that's what he thought until he remembered he hadn't any left. But he kept those problems for himself. Mostly it didn't hurt much, but was just annoying. And he didn't want to trouble Chopper with such unimportant things, especially if he couldn't do anything about it anyway.  
He clung to the edge of the table and stood up. The first steps were always the hardest. Experimentally, he walked up and down the kitchen until he felt reasonably safe, then went to the fridge and took out a couple of dozen eggs. He took the largest pan he had and started frying omelets.

Behind him, someone came shuffling into the kitchen and stopped abruptly. Sanji didn't turn around, his cheeks were burning. The others had already seen him walking, but-

"Wow, I didn't expect that!"

It was Usopp, who yawned at the next moment, and then sat down at the table.

"Food will take a short while," Sanji answered offhandedly.

"By the way, the mechanism with the vacuum is my invention!" Usopp boasted, but his smile was a bit too broad. "Brilliant, isn't it?"

The last thing he wanted was to talk about it, but he still turned to face him and gave him a small, strained smile. Unfortunately, Usopp took this opportunity to tell him the details of his invention and Sanji did his best to pretend to listen to him as he continued to prepare the omelets.

Something bothered him about Usopp's behavior. Sanji frowned as he swung the pan to turn the omelets. His smile almost seemed to be not genuine.

A few minutes later, the other crew members arrived in the kitchen. First Robin, then quickly all of the others. The mosshead was the last to take his seat. Sanji switched off the stove and shoveled an omelet on each plate (for Luffy four). He had taken the trouble to vary every dish a little; for Robin mixed mushrooms, for Nami fresh vegetables, for Luffy ham, and the algae brain got the fresh fish Luffy and Usopp had caught the previous day. 

"Wait, let me help you!" Nami jumped up and took two plates from his hand. He stumbled, but managed to catch himself before the food fell to the ground. Nami grabbed his arm, as if he were about to fall over. "Everything alright?" In any other situation he would have raved that she was so close to him and even touched him, but at that moment he realized that he had to hold back. He'd almost said something mean to her. He took a deep breath through his nose and out again.

"I'm fine."

Gently, he pulled his arm from her grip and went to the table with the remaining plates. Everything had gone well until she had taken the plates from him and therefore had thrown him off his balance. She had meant well, he knew that. But now Chopper looked at him worriedly and he was annoyed that he still couldn't walk any better.

As soon as he had set down the last plate, the crew pounced on the breakfast (not his ladies, of course, they would never show barbaric behavior like the others). Luffy finished first and asked for seconds.

"Later, Luffy! Lunch will be ready in five hours."

" _Five_ hours? I'll be starving by then!" Luffy stuck his tongue out. Zoro pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Never heard of manners, mosshead?" Sanji called after him.

"What do you want from me? I have to train!" Zoro snapped back, instantly blowing his top.

"Will you kindly help me with the dishes first!" Sanji froze – where had that come from? Zoro looked at him as stunned as everyone else at the table and he felt his cheeks start to glow again. "Besides exercising and sleeping, you don't do much on the ship after all, so you can make yourself useful here, too," he finally said lamely. He began clearing the plates, so he wouldn’t have to look at him.

"Sanji, food!" Luffy begged again.

"You've had enough! We do not have many supplies left, even without you eating up the last of them!"

Luffy pouted, but Usopp persuaded him to go fishing. Luffy was hooked, he found fishing mostly boring, but if he caught something big he would get more food.

To his astonishment, Zoro really stayed and helped him rinse. When the others had left the kitchen to do their daily business, he had already put water in the sink.

Clumsily, Sanji walked over and stood next to him. It was a strange feeling after all these weeks. Zoro ignored him and handed him a wet plate, which he accepted and dried. For a while, they methodically did this work. Zoro rinsed, Sanji dried and piled the clean plates neatly up.

When they were done, Zoro reached for the towel in Sanji's hand to dry his hands. Their fingers touched briefly and Sanji looked up. Zoro was standing next to him, but that wasn’t what he had noticed: Sanji raised a hand, held it at the same level as his forehead and let it wander over to Zoro's. Zoro's eyebrows formed a crease.

"What are you doing?" he asked annoyed, slapping his hand away.

Zoro was only inches away from him, so close that he could feel his body heat. It felt like an eternity that he had faced him like this. He was almost used to look up from his wheelchair if he wanted to talk to him, but here he was and they were on eye level.

Zoro shifted from one foot to the other and stared back. Sanji had to swallow and broke the eye contact, took the plates and put them back in the cupboard.

His mouth twitched and he peered over at him. Zoro looked at him confused as a grin crept onto his face.

"Now I'm taller than you!"

He laughed and ducked as Zoro hit him with the towel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind comments for the last chapter ;-;  
> I'm glad you enjoyed Sanji slowly becoming happier again :)

Six weeks after he had woken up, the Straw Hats anchored on a summer island. The crew was relieved to finally have solid ground under their feet and it was not long before everyone except Usopp, who was guarding the ship, boarded the rowboat to come ashore. For Sanji it was hard enough to get into the boat at all. He had some large backpacks with him, hoping to replenish the ship's supplies. He had the prostheses on so he could move more freely, but his balance was still not the same as before and he dropped onto one of the benches while Zoro and Franky slowly rowed away from the ship to the sandy beach. A few meters from the shore Luffy got up and the boat swayed dangerously.

"Hey, Luffy, sit down again!"

Nami reached for their captain, but he didn't listen and tried to jump the short distance to the shore. Unfortunately, he missed his target quite a bit and landed in the water, Chopper and Franky screamed in shock and Zoro slapped his face before he grabbed Luffy by the collar and dumped him back in the boat. Luffy spat water and grinned at Zoro apologetically.

"Can't you wait a minute?" Nami scolded him.

"But I wanted to be the first on the island..." Luffy pouted.

Sanji rolled his eyes. His crew was as usual. They arrived at the shore and Zoro pulled the boat on the sand while the others got out. Franky picked Robin up and set her down on the beach so she wouldn’t get wet feet and then helped Nami as well. Sanji lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke. He was glad that Franky had helped the ladies, but still something tightened in his chest. The metal on his prostheses was wet, but Franky had assured him that this would not be a problem because they were made of a stainless metal. He would've been too happy to help the two women, but he wasn't sure he could balance himself while doing so. He also sank much faster into the sand than usual with the prostheses on.

When he'd got dressed in the morning, he had looked wistfully at his shoes, which now lay unused in the far corner of his closet. He could also forget most of his pants because they didn't fit him with the prostheses. Finally, he'd put on one of his few shorts – an orange one that matched his pale pink shirt and bright tie.

He sank deeper into the sand with each step and had to concentrate so he wouldn't stumble.

"Ah! Sanji! You're smoking again!"

Sanji almost bit down on his cigarette as Chopper suddenly came up to him.

"Well, I'm healthy again!" He kept walking, trying to ignore the little doctor who started to list all the health risks of smoking.

"Now that you haven't smoked for so long it would be the perfect opportunity to stop it!" Chopper chattered on. He didn't know that Sanji had been smoking behind his back the whole time. However, he had smoked significantly less in the last few weeks, if only because he couldn't hide away in a quiet corner very often to light one up.

The sand under his feet quickly gave way to a mossy soil and they came to a well-trodden forest path. It was a lot easier for him to walk on this and soon he got the hang of it and went after Nami and Robin. In the distance he could see the first houses and realized that there was a bigger town on the island.

As they approached the first houses, Nami turned around to them.

"We should split up."

"I need new medicine!" Chopper piped up.

"And I have to fill up the cola supplies," Franky said, striking one of his poses.

"Okay, okay, do that – Luffy, you're coming with – Luffy?"

Luffy had apparently disappeared in the last ten seconds. Nami put her hand to her temple as if she was going to have a headache soon. 

"All right. If any of you see Luffy, make sure he doesn't cause trouble."

"I want to see if there's a market here. Our supplies are almost used up," Sanji said, although he wondered how he should carry all of it. Nami nodded.

"Take Zoro with you."

"What? Why me?" Zoro growled in horror. "Why not Brook?"

"Because Brook has just left," Nami replied pointing to the city. Zoro stared after the diminishing spot which was Brook. Sanji tossed his empty backpacks at him and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets.

"Come on, don't take roots, Marimo."

Zoro clicked his tongue in annoyance. The four of them went off and soon immersed themselves into the busy streets of the city. The houses were mostly made of white stone and dark woods, the windows decorated with flower boxes. On the streets, many people were traveling, dressed in colorful cloths and Sanji got the impression that they had landed in a peaceful and happy city.

Zoro and he parted on a larger intersection from Nami and Robin, after having asked one of the residents for the way. The man had given them strange looks, but that didn't surprise Sanji. Firstly, they were now more than infamous, and secondly, he was all too aware of the prostheses.

Zoro, who was walking beside him, suddenly turned right into a side street. Sanji just managed to grab him by the collar and pull him back.

"Where are you going, Marimo? The market is that way!" he scolded. Zoro rolled his eyes and pointed confidently in the direction of the alley.

"This is a shortcut!" 

"That's totally the wrong way! It's this way!" With that he grabbed his arm and dragged him along, ignoring the other's protests. Zoro gave up quickly as the throng on the street increased, until they arrived at the market after a few minutes. Sanji was secretly a little proud that he could muster so much strength to pull the swordsman with him.

The market was bigger than expected. Between the rows of the houses were stalls everywhere, promoting everything from food and clothing to housewares and weapons, as Sanji noted with surprise. He had thought this city to be peaceful. But apparently even in cities like this there was a need for weapons for the population to defend themselves. Most of the stalls were shaded by colorful marquees whose patterns resembled those of the city's inhabitants. Sanji meandered through the crowd.

He was still holding on to Zoro. If he'd let go of him, the idiot would just wander off in some other direction and he would be on his own. It was a challenge not to step on anyone's feet, especially if he didn't notice it himself, but after a few minutes, he'd made his way to the booth he wanted.

Under a bright yellow marquee with red stripes he examined the rice sacks, which a friendly-looking man behind the counter advertised. The man stared at his legs, but Sanji ignored his eyes and started haggling with him. Zoro, who was standing next to him, picked his nose out of boredom.

"I have to feed twenty people, so I'll buy a lot, say four of those big sacks?" Sanji pointed to the largest rice sacks, which probably were around fifteen kilograms each. "I'm sure it will be possible to get a discount because of that!"

The seller shook his head, but Sanji wasn't deterred, and so he loaded Zoro with several rice bags a few minutes later and they went on. 

"Since when do we have twenty men in the crew?" Zoro asked skeptically when they were out of earshot.

"Since Luffy eats for more than ten men," Sanji answered curtly, changing direction. "Wait, I want to go there."

Zoro grumbled, but it was only half-hearted. Sanji pulled him further along.

"Hey, cook ... what the hell are you doing?" Zoro snapped from behind him.

"What do you mean?" Sanji had almost reached the next booth. The laid out vegetables looked fresh and he hoped to get a decent price for them.

"Your hand," Zoro answered curtly and Sanji turned to him. His hand had slipped further down and he no longer held his forearm-

Sanji let go as if he’d burnt himself.

Zoro grinned nastily.

"If you want me hold your hand, you just have to say it," he goaded.

"Shut up, algae brain!"

"How about you think about some new insults, the old ones are getting boring."

"As if you wouldn't do the same, you – you – knife polisher!"

"What did you call me?" While Zoro snarled at him, Sanji noticed that they attracted attention.

"Shut up, idiot! We don't want any trouble here."

"Well, who started it?"

"You, of course!"

"No, you did-" Zoro paused, then took a deep breath as if to calm himself. "I don't care. Let's buy that stuff and then get away from here."

"That's not stuff, that's-"

Sanji paused, because at that moment he had seen something.

"Wait a minute..."

He passed Zoro and headed for one of the houses.

"What's going on?" Zoro asked annoyed and went after him.

"These are our wanted posters..." An ice-cold lump spread in his stomach.

"So what? Have you still not gotten used to the visage on your wanted poster?"

"No, that's not it."

"What then? Come to the point, I don't have all day."

Sanji raised his hand and touched the paper as if it would disappear. The red ink was already brownish in color, probably several weeks old. Sanji swallowed and stared at the big cross painted across his profile.

"Mine is crossed out." Zoro came up to him. Sanji looked at him dumbfounded. "The Marines thinks I'm dead!"

Zoro frowned.

"Who cares if they do! They will find out soon enough that you're still alive and a nuisance."

Sanji lit another cigarette.

"I wonder if the guy cashed in for me. After all, he had no proof."

Zoro shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. Come on now."

Sanji hesitated, but then Zoro tore the poster from the wall and stuffed it in his pocket.

He followed Zoro, but his thoughts clung to the poster. Zoro was right; the way he knew Luffy, it would not be long before they hurled themselves into the next adventure and soon the Marines would realize that he was still among the living. But on the other hand it reminded him of how damn close he had come to death. And not because of an enemy, but because of Zoro's sword... He shook his head. No, he shouldn't think that way. It was _not_ Zoro's fault. But no matter how much he tried to persuade himself, he couldn't really believe it.

He turned to the seller, who looked at him skeptically.

"I'd like some of those cabbages." The trader's eyes wandered down his body. The corners of his mouth twisted.

"What happened to you?" he asked. Sanji froze, then his face heated.

"It's none of your business," he grumbled. "Do I get the cabbages now or not?"

The merchant nodded, but as he packed the goods, his gaze flicked down to the prostheses again and again. Sanji's heart pounded, it was one thing to be constantly stared at by his nakama or treated as if he were made of glass. But to be eyeballed by a stranger – the seller held out the parcel with its wrapped cabbages. Sanji reached for it, but the seller suddenly pulled his hand back and held it out of reach.

"Why do your feet look so funny?" he asked. "The one who did that has probably never seen real feet!"

Suddenly, he heard a noise, as if something sharp was cut against stone. Sanji flinched and suddenly the seller had a blade right at his throat.

"You better shut up." Zoro took a step closer to him, the blade threateningly close. "Unless you want me to cut off something." The seller swallowed visibly and a drop of sweat ran down his temple. Zoro gritted his teeth and looked at him murderously.

"All right, all right, I was just curious! Put the sword away!"

Sanji put a hand on his arm. It was better if they remained mostly unrecognized. At least he didn't want to cause a riot.

"Don't interfere with matters that don't concern you, understood?" Zoro growled, but he pulled the sword back and put it away. The seller wiped his forehead in relief.

Sanji dropped his hand. The man was pale in the face as he took the cabbages from his hand. Sanji dropped some Beli in front of him. "Keep the rest."

He didn't wait for him to say anything, then turned and left the stand as Zoro shouldered the heavier backpack and followed him.

"What else do you need?" he grumbled, audibly impatient. Sanji touched his temples.

"Lots, but I can get that tomorrow. Nami-san said that we will stay here for a few more days until the log-post settles down. I just want to get some meat so Luffy doesn't complain."

Zoro caught up so he walked next to him and shot him a look Sanji could not quite decipher. His eyebrows were more furrowed than usual, his eyes somehow ... piercing. Sanji clicked his tongue, annoyed.

Zoro opened his mouth.

"Everything okay?"

Sanji almost let the cigarette fall out of his mouth.

"Why the heck do you ask?" he hissed back. Zoro's gaze didn't change, but there was a red spot on the bridge of his nose.

"Should I've cut the guy after all?" He put his hand on his sword. "I can go back again-"

"No, you dimwit!" Sanji hissed at him. Zoro shrugged as if it were the same to him. "We're here to replenish our supplies and allow Franky to make some minor repairs on the ship, not to fight! We shouldn’t attract attention, okay?"

Zoro groaned annoyed and spat to the side.

"Yeah, yeah, sure!" He looked at him again. "But seriously ... are you feeling better?"

Sanji didn't know what to answer. Why did he care how he felt? They had no intimate conversations about feelings and all that stuff. They couldn't even talk normally.

He took the cigarette between two fingers and blew out the smoke. His eyes were fixed straight ahead.

"Just peachy."

* * *

"As if it's not bad enough what he did to Sanji – now he's boasting that he's killed him!"

Sanji clenched his teeth as his beloved Nami paced up and down in the kitchen of the Sunny. The Marimo and he had returned to the ship after a very successful shopping trip and he had cooked a simple but filling meal. The others had come one after another into the kitchen, each of them a satisfied smile on their faces until Zoro slammed the crossed out poster on the table.

Immediately, all of them fell into silence, a moment before hell broke loose and all of them began to talk simultaneously.

"Do you think anyone recognized Sanji?"

"It’s possible, but we have no chance of finding out," Robin mused.

"Nonsense, the picture doesn't resemble him at all, how- "

"But the eyebrows give him away!"

Sanji didn't understand why they were so upset. Sure, he had been shocked, too. But not because the Marines had come to the wrong conclusions or because they had considered him weak enough to die from such an injury.

What shook him like this was of a different nature. His legs tingled and he shifted his weight. He still wasn't used to standing longer on his prostheses. He constantly had to focus on what he was doing with them, almost as if he had forgotten how to walk.

"We should take it into our own hands," Zoro said suddenly, and all eyes turned to him. Zoro put a hand on his swords, teeth clenched. His eyes glinted dangerously. "I lost to him once. It won't happen again."

"You're crazy!" Nami protested. "Last time we didn't have the slightest chance against him! How do you want to defeat him now?"

Zoro scowled at her.

"Leave that to me."

"No!" Nami clenched her hands into fists. "Do you want us to lose you as well?"

At that moment, Sanji saw a hand crawling towards the cooking pot from the corner of his eye. Picking up his wooden spoon, he let it slam down on it.

"Ouch, Sanji!" Luffy held his hand, where a red spot formed on its back and looked at him offended.

"The food will be ready soon, so be patient!"

Luffy pouted, but let his arm snap back to its normal length. Robin leaned her head on one of her hands and looked at him with a smile.

"What do you think, Captain?"

Luffy actually seemed to think for a moment, his lower lip pushed forwards like a pouting child and crossed his arms. 

"I'm really mad at this tele- telepro-. what's it called again?"

"Teleportation."

"Telprotion. I'm really mad at him." Luffy's face darkened. Sanji watched him silently. How had it been for him? He wasn't a weakling, but such a serious injury was not so easy to get over. How close to death had he been? He hadn't dared to ask Chopper about it. 

For the first time, he thought of how his Nakama must have felt when he had been downstairs in the infirmary.

"But first, Sanji has to get well again." Luffy grinned at him broadly. "I bet you want to punch him yourself! And when the time comes," his arm stretched back toward the stove, "then we'll defeat him and celebrate with a huge party with lots of _meat_!" Luffy laughed and grabbed a drumstick from the cooking pot.

Sanji sighed. That was so typical for Luffy. But the crew laughed and nodded in agreement.

Sanji took the cooking pot from the stove and distributed the food.

He dropped down next to the Marimo and rubbed his thighs. The day was only halfway over and his muscles were already aching from the unusual strain. He hoped to regain his old strength soon, as Chopper had promised, but right now he didn't believe in it.

He put some food on his plate before Luffy scarfed all of it down and then noticed that Zoro still hadn't touched his food.

"It's not poisoned, you know," Sanji murmured, and Zoro's eyes darted to him.

"Don't you want to take revenge on him?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Sanji took a bite, chewed for a few moments, swallowed and then answered, "It's like Nami-chan said. We have no chance against him."

"Bullshit!" Zoro beat his fist down on the table. Immediately the chatter of the crew fell silent. "Since when did that stop us? If we flee from any enemy when we don't know the outcome of a fight, can we even call ourselves pirates?"

Zoro breathed heavily. The rest of the crew stared at him abashed.

"Mr. Swordsman." Robin put one of her extra hands on his arm. "I feel the same. And I, too, want to take revenge on him," she added grimly. "But it's not that we don't know the outcome of the fight. The problem is that we know it."

Zoro snatched his arm from her. He pushed back the bench he was sitting on and stood up.

"These are a coward's words."

He made his way to the door and Sanji grabbed his sleeve.

"Apologize to Robin-swan, you barbarian!" he growled, but Zoro jerked his sleeve away from him and disappeared from the kitchen.

"What's going on with him?" Nami asked in surprise.

"He looked pretty angry," Chopper said, dropping his head. Luffy put an arm around his shoulders.

"But Robin's right. We don't have a chance at the moment – but that doesn't mean we'll let him get away!"

The rest of the lunch was calmer than usual. Zoro's outburst had shocked everyone. Sanji cleared the plates while the last crew members left the kitchen.

He still couldn't understand it. Zoro had barely reacted when he showed him the poster in the city. Had he really not cared or had he just pretended not to? If he didn't care, why had he pleaded so much to fight the Marine officer?

Sanji dropped the plates into the rinse water and rolled up his sleeves. It wouldn't surprise him if the Marimo got lost in his own brain and therefore behaved so contradictory. Besides, Robin was right: If they tried to fight him now they would be destroyed.

He remembered it well, although he usually avoided thinking about it. It should have been a simple fight; a bunch of weak marines, who he mowed down with his foot technique. He'd only realized that someone strong had been among them fairly late and only when Zoro had already begun to fight him. He had watched him from afar and then turned back to his weaker opponents.

And suddenly he had been somewhere else. He had not even felt anything, just had seen Zoro's shocked gaze that had drilled itself into his memory.

A clang and a sharp pain pulled him out of his thoughts. He had broken a plate in his hand.

"Shit," he murmured, shaking the water from his hands and sticking his finger in his mouth. It tasted like iron.

If that damned marine hadn't been there he would still have his legs. Had Zoro just reacted faster, or had someone else fought him, someone like Luffy, whose attack would still have hurt him badly, but at least he could have completely recovered from that.

He stared down at himself. He was no longer startled when he saw metal instead of skin, but there was still something strange about it. And the pain wasn't gone. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night because he felt something on his toe, or because there was suddenly a sharp pain in his knee. Chopper had said that this pain would never quite disappear. It was all in his head. His body didn't understand that he was missing something and still sent him signals.

His finger throbbed. He pulled it out of his mouth and rummaged around in a small drawer until he found his band-aids. He liked to be prepared, even if he hadn't cut himself in years. As he'd put the band-aid on his finger the pain slowly faded and he gently picked up the pieces of the plate so as not to hurt himself again.

When he'd discarded the pieces in the trash he saw that his wanted poster was still lying on the dining table. By now it was rumpled and splattered with grease stains. He frowned. Why had Zoro taken it with him?

He had looked damn angry when he'd stormed out of the kitchen. Sanji dipped his fingers back into the rinse water, even though it was burning on his finger. But the plates wouldn't become clean by themselves and since he was no longer dependent on the wheelchair, the others helped him less and less.

It wasn't like he wasn't angry, too. He didn't consider himself a particularly brutal person, at least revenge wasn't part of his usual repertoire. But when he remembered the face of this marine and what he had done to him, he was almost itching to do the same to him, to kick him until he was only twitching on the ground and-

He took a shaky breath. That wasn't the man Zeff had raised. He did not fight out of greed or to prove himself and certainly not out of revenge. He fought to fulfill his dream and the dreams of his nakama. He fought to find All Blue at some point.

But would he still be able to do it?

His knees ached and he knew he'd soon have to take a break and take off the prostheses. He had them on for far too long today and Chopper would probably soon force him to do so anyway if he didn't do it on his own.  


Would it always go on like this? If simple things as shopping and spending two hours in the kitchen would continue to exhaust him this much he would never achieve his dream. He had to become stronger again.

The blades in place of his feet bounced slightly as he bobbed back and forth on them. Carefully, he lifted one of his legs and stretched his arms out to keep his balance. It wasn't so easy, after all, he no longer distributed his weight on two feet, but only on two thin, about three inches wide blades. But his balance had always been better than that of most people and he quickly got the hang of it.

He bit his lip. What if he-

He jumped. He only planned on a few inches high, but the metal bounced stronger than expected and instead it was almost half a meter that suddenly separated him from the ground, he came down and a sharp pain shot up his thigh. He grabbed the counter and his knees gave away.

He was breathing hard, not out of exertion, but out of sheer surprise that he hadn't hurt himself. Well, his legs ached like hell, but that was secondary.

Painfully, he pulled himself up on the counter. If he couldn't do this, what would he become? What would become of the crew?

He jumped again and this time the height of his jump didn't surprise him. It was different than with his real legs, that much was certain – he came down a second time and his thighs hurt again, but he didn't have to hold on to something.

A grin crept on his face. He shifted his weight on one leg and raised the other one as far as he could. The neglected muscles in his thigh protested, but he clenched his teeth. His leg trembled, he tried to hold it up, but the cramp was too strong and finally he had to drop it again.

Frustrated, he rubbed his thigh. His muscles were still weak because he hadn't used them for weeks. But he had to become strong again. He had to. Otherwise he wouldn't want himself to be in the crew anymore.

He shifted his weight again, holding on to the counter with one hand and raised his other leg. The light in the kitchen reflected on the shiny metal of his prosthesis. It hurt, but this time his muscles didn't cramp and he clenched his teeth and forced himself to hold it up. How hard would he be able to kick with the prostheses? Would they be able to take as much as his real legs? He definitely had to speak to Franky about that.

He held on to the counter even more and bent his leg as far as he could. With a jerky motion, he flipped his foot forward. The move threw him out of balance, the leg he was standing on turned a little to the right and he crashed the tip of the prosthesis against the counter, where it slashed along and cut a good chunk out of the wood and finally got stuck.

He stumbled and slid down the floor with his free foot. With a jolt, he tore the prosthesis out of the wood again. Wood splinters rained down. He fell back and hit the ground painfully.

Franky would kill him. He wiped the wood dust from the prosthesis. The metal underneath was as smooth as before and he inspected it more closely.

The prosthesis didn't have a single scratch.

* * *

A kick in the side woke him.

Zoro didn't get up immediately, just opened his remaining eye and squinted into the afternoon sun. Finally, his eyes met the cook's who was standing next to him, leaning with one hand against the wall where he had just taken a nap, and raising one leg-

Suddenly he was wide awake and jumped up.

"What the hell-"

The cook took his cigarette out of his mouth and blew the smoke right into his face. Zoro coughed.

"I was looking for you," he said. "Are you lazing around again?"

Zoro stretched and yawned. He'd slept really well.

"What do you want? I trained, so I deserve some sleep!" Sanji still had his leg up. Zoro frowned and then asked annoyed, "Did you kick me?"

Sanji grinned widely.

"Maybe," he drawled. Zoro looked at him incredulously. His hand fell to his swords and Sanji's grin widened.

"What's wrong, mosshead? Afraid to lose?" he teased and took another drag. Zoro gritted his teeth and let the sword slide back. Sanji's grin vanished.

"I'm not fighting you," he said, turning around. Sanji stumbled clumsily after him and grabbed his shoulder.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked angrily.

Zoro grabbed his hand and wiped it off his shoulder.

"Exactly what I said. You're not well yet, so leave me alone."

He walked to the mast and grabbed the ladder that led to the crow's nest.

"So I'm too weak or what?" Sanji called after him and Zoro sighed annoyed.

For weeks he had felt more and more unbalanced. He had tried to shake off this feeling by training more, but it wasn't the same. He knew himself very well and he was proud to never lie to himself. Therefore he knew what he was missing and that was an opponent he could compete with. What would it help to train if he couldn't use the training? The Marines they met occasionally were only small fry that he could kill even blindfolded.

But what he needed and what the annoying spoon-swinger needed were two different things at the moment. He turned to face him, one foot already on the first strut of the ladder.

"Yes, you are," he answered and started to climb the ladder.

Sanji needed a moment before following him. Zoro ignored him and climbed through the trapdoor into the crow's nest. The weights from his previous training were still where he had dropped them. He put his swords down on the bench and took a smaller weight to warm himself up. He heard the cook struggling to get up the ladder. He honestly had no idea if he could do that with the prostheses at all, but wasn't particularly surprised when the curly brow finally stuck his head through the trapdoor and glared at him.

"If I'm too weak, then show it to me," he challenged him as he climbed up. "Then you won't need long to defeat me. Or are you all bark and no bite?"

Zoro gritted his teeth and lifted the weight with one arm. Hopefully the cook would just go away if he ignored him. Sanji came up directly in front of him, his hands in his pockets. Zoro could smell the smoke on him; his eyes darted down the length of his body. He had received the prostheses just a week ago, but he almost walked normal on them.

"What is it, Marimo? Are you worried to hurt me? I can assure you that I'm _not that_ weak."

A drop of sweat ran down his forehead and he wiped it with the back of his hand.

"Shut up," he squeezed out. "I won't fight you."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched and Zoro saw him bite down on his cigarette.

"Then I'll force you to."

He had barely finished speaking as he lifted his leg in a blazingly fast motion and tried to kick him; Zoro sidestepped and Sanji braced himself on the ground, caught himself and kicked again. The dumbbell prevented him from moving quickly, he ducked and dropped the weight and rolled over the floor. His swords were out of reach, one of Sanji's prostheses brushed past him and crashed into the wooden floor.

The cook was serious. Zoro avoided the next attack, leaped up and sprinted to the swords, but the cook got in his way and cut him off.

"Is that all you got?" Sanji gasped out. He breathed quickly and Zoro saw his legs trembling.

"You shouldn't strain yourself."

"Shut up, Marimo! Defend yourself!"

Again he attacked him, but his attack wasn't as precise as the previous ones. Apparently, he had already reached his limit. Zoro evaded his uncoordinated attacks. Maybe he could overwhelm him somehow.

Sanji's footing was not as firm as before, his legs trembled visibly and Zoro took advantage of that fact – the moment Sanji raised his leg again to kick him, he lunged forward and grappled him to the ground. Sanji yelped, they slammed on the floor and Zoro grabbed his arms and pushed them next to him on the wooden floorboards. A sharp pain ran through his calf and he looked down at himself. Blood spilled out of a wound on his right leg.

Sanji looked at him with wide eyes, his heart pounded against his chest as Zoro held on to him. He struggled, but Zoro knelt on his thighs so that the sharp blades on his feet could do no further damage. Sanji breathed heavily in his face as the adrenaline slowly left his body. Finally, he remained completely still beneath him.

Zoro continued to hold him, as he still didn't trust him not to attack him again. His calf was throbbing. Sanji averted his eyes, His ears turning red.

"Hey." Zoro leaned down to him. "Look at me."

Sanji hesitated. Then he slowly turned his head and stared defiantly at him.

It wasn't an easy decision. But he knew the spoon-swinger. And if he was honest, he had missed that very thing about him. 

"If you want to fight, then we'll fight," he said, and Sanji's eyes widened. "But only under my rules. Agreed?"

Sanji's legs twitched beneath him as if he wanted to rise up again, but he had no chance. When it came to pure muscle power, Zoro had the upper hand.

"Agreed?" Zoro repeated, pressing him closer to the floor.

And this time, Sanji nodded.

* * *

Chopper panicked as Zoro approached him with a bleeding leg and immediately dragged him to the infirmary. Zoro grinned at him over his shoulder before vanishing with the little doctor into the room.

Sanji felt drained. Attacking Zoro had been a spontaneous idea, and he had known he had no chance against him in his current state, but he hadn't been able to resist it. And he never thought in his life that the idiot swordsman would actually offer him to fight. But in that respect they were similar, they couldn't help but fight each other.

Suddenly, a cry sounded from his kitchen.

"Sanji, bro! _What did you do to the kitchen_!"

He grinned and lit another cigarette. The next weeks would be exciting.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Sanji woke up early. He sat up in the hammock and reached for the prostheses lying on the floor next to him. It only took a few minutes for him to put them on and go up the stairs to the deck for breakfast.

The sky over the Sunny was still dark and the sea deep black. The waves beat quietly against the bow of the ship. He lit the first cigarette of the day, inhaled the smoke, and watched the first streak of light shining on the horizon. It was the quietest hour of the day. As much as he loved his nakama, it was nice for a change to stop for a moment and enjoy the silence around him, to indulge in thoughts, to imagine Nami-chan-

"Hey, pervert cook."

He flinched and almost dropped his cigarette. Zoro came up beside him and Sanji glared at him.

"Why are you already up? Fell out of bed or something?"

Zoro shrugged and stared out at the sea. His hair was still mussed from sleep and his clothes looked like he had slept in them. Wouldn't surprise him, the moss head had no sense of hygiene after all. His swords, which he already was wearing on his hips, were cleaner than he was.

"I figured if I help you with breakfast, you're done faster," he said bluntly.

Sanji inhaled sharply and the smoke hit his lungs. He coughed, convulsing.

"Why the hell do you want to help me? Has the moss on your head also affected your brain now?"

Zoro turned to face him.

"Don’t pretend to be surprised," he said. "It's not like I didn't help you before. Besides," he put a hand on his katana and grinned, "we'll get to your training sooner."

Sanji swallowed. He hadn't been completely sure if Zoro had meant his offer seriously; he'd rather assumed that he only wanted to get rid of him. They had never really worked together before – they'd preferred to pick a fight with each other – and part of him wondered what that meant.

Sanji took one last pull from his cigarette, squashed it and put his hands in his pockets.

"All right then. But don't you dare to waste food!"

Zoro followed him into the kitchen. He turned on the light and retrieved cottage cheese and milk from the fridge, then went into the pantry and pulled a piece of hung ham and a quarter loaf of cheese out. He put everything down on the table and held out a knife to Zoro.

"At least you're not completely hopeless," he said as Zoro took the knife. "Cut the fruit into bite-sized pieces and slice the ham and cheese. Got that?"

Zoro rolled his eyes, but went to work immediately. He was unexpectedly placid this morning and Sanji cast a surprised look at his back.

He took out the ingredients for several loaves of bread, stood next to Zoro and set to work. Up to his elbows in the batter, he squinted over to Zoro, who was busy slicing the fruit.

"Do you call that bite-sized? That's way too small," he commented.

"How should I know what bite-sized means? Not everyone has such a big mouth as you," Zoro grumbled back and Sanji grinned secretly. If he was being honest, Zoro did pretty well, but he'd never tell him that. It was funnier to annoy him a bit.

"Well, it will work somehow, even if it's not cut that well," he teased and Zoro looked at him annoyed.

"You better shut up while I have a knife in my hand."

"Do you think I'm scared of your poking stick?"

"You should, or else-" Zoro interrupted himself and frowned. "You're trying to provoke me."

Sanji said nothing, but continued to knead the dough. Slowly, the ingredients became a homogeneous mass.

"Why?" Zoro finally asked. "Shouldn't you rather be grateful that I'm helping you or something?"

"I don’t need any help."

Zoro paused, then said, "Not anymore."

Sanji gritted his teeth. It was a memory he wanted to forget, how he had sat in a wheelchair and couldn't do the simplest things in his own kitchen. It was a shame for a cook. At least he still had his hands.

"And why are you helping me now? I can walk again, so you don't have to worry about me. "

"As I said: I want you to finish faster, so we can train one more time before breakfast."

Sanji looked at him skeptically.

"What are you even planning?"

Zoro's mouth twitched slightly upwards.

"You'll see. Now get a move on, I'm already done."

Sanji hurried to divide the dough into three loaves of bread, which he then pushed into the oven. He had half an hour to mix the quark just before breakfast. He hurried after Zoro, who had already disappeared through the door.

The sky had turned gray and Sanji could see the horizon slowly dipping into orange and purple. He would have liked to enjoy the sight for a moment, if it weren't for Zoro's annoying voice that tore him from his thoughts.

"Hey, slowpoke! Catch!"

Something came flying towards him and he could barely reach out his hand when he was thrown back. He landed painfully with his ass on the floor.

"What-" He paused and recognized the dumbbell Zoro had thrown at him. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

Zoro stood in front of him, arms crossed and a confident grin on his face.

"Your muscles can't do shit. Before you even think about attacking me we have to change that."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched annoyed.

"If you didn't notice, I spent weeks in a fucking wheelchair. If anything, my arms have become stronger and not weaker."

"Who's talking about your arms?" Zoro grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "I mean your back. It's hurting, isn't it?"

Sanji blinked at him in surprise. He was right, his back had been hurting for the last few days, probably from the unusual strain. The fall right now hadn't been exactly helpful, either. Nevertheless, that the moss head has noticed of all things ...

"How-"

"You are too tense, every blind person could see that."

"I'd like to see you run around on these things! How relaxed would you be then? And what am I supposed to do with this stuff?" He waved the dumbbell around. It wasn't particularly heavy, only weighing around ten kilograms, and he wondered why the muscle-head even had such a light weight.

"I'm training my little toe with that," Zoro said, as if reading his mind. "Here, I'll show you what to do with it."

Sanji watched from the corner of his eye as he stood behind him and grabbed his arm. Guiding it behind his head he pushed his arm down until his hand was level with his shoulder blades. Sanji felt a slight tug in his upper back.

"Do this movement a few times,” Zoro muttered behind him.

Sanji was annoyed that the mosshead gave him instructions, but he probably knew what he was doing. He just contented himself with rolling his eyes and lifted the dumbbell behind his back. Zoro corrected him immediately.

"Not so fast!"

This time, Sanji slowed down the movement. He felt his muscles working and while the weight was not a problem for his arms, the pull in his back grew stronger and stronger.

"You're too fast again," Zoro said.

"Then say that sooner!" Sanji snarled at him.

Zoro touched his hand and slowly pushed it down.

"Slowly, okay? Otherwise, it won't work." He continued his movement and after a while Sanji felt the ups and downs of his arm becoming more and more natural for him. Zoro finally released his hand.

"Now the other side." He didn't even ask, but guided him through the movement again. Sanji tried to ignore how strange it felt, and was glad that Zoro didn't tease him. But he was sure that wouldn't be long in coming.

After a while, it became exhausting. His muscles began to ache and he clenches his teeth. He didn't want to look like a weakling in front of Zoro. He had to hang on.

Suddenly, Zoro released his arm. Sanji moved on, but Zoro poked him in the side.

"Stop it," he said.

"I can still-"

"You're trembling." Zoro looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed. "You shouldn't overexert yourself."

"Oh, and what about you? Who's the one who lifts those abnormal weights every day?"

Zoro looked at him confused, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.

"That's different."

Sanji gritted his teeth.

"Do you think I'm too weak?"

"I didn't say that."

Sanji dropped the dumbbell and shifted the weight.

"This isn't working! I want you to fight me!"

He swung his leg at him, but Zoro avoided him easily.

"You idiot!" Zoro spat. "You know how that'll end!"

Sanji tried to kick him again, but he was too slow.

"You're just scared to lose!"

He saw Zoro clench his teeth. Good, he'd made him angry. Now he finally played by his rules.

His leg shot up and missed Zoro by a hair's breadth, but the damn moss ball was just too fast. He really must have lost his touch, because Zoro hadn't even pulled out any of his swords so far. Again he came after him, but this time Zoro didn't even dodge, he slipped and didn't even aim far enough. His kick was lost in the air and he rowed his arms to keep his balance. He glared over at Zoro, who looked at him unimpressed.

"What are you standing there so stupidly?" Sanji blurted out. "Stop being so smug about it and fight me!"

Zoro put a hand on his swords and for a moment Sanji thought he finally got what he wanted. But then Zoro turned away from him.

"I see no reason why," he said as he passed him. He dodged Sanji's next attack effortlessly.

"You bastard! What's that for?" Sanji yelled after him, but Zoro just raised his arm and waved without turning around.

"I'd like to fight with you. But only when you've learned to keep a cool head."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanji shouted, but Zoro was already disappearing below deck.

Sanji gritted his teeth, the blood rushing in his ears. The marimo was such a fucking bastard, making promises he didn't keep, chastising him even though he was the one who had done that to him.

His knees hurt. He hobbled to the rail and held onto it. When would they finally realize that this ship had no room left for him?

* * *

When Usopp sounded the alarm from his look out in the crow's nest, he was having a cigarette break on the main deck. He had taken off the prostheses and left them in the kitchen because they had hurt him after a while, and he rolled to the railing to see why Usopp had called.

He blinked in the sun. There was a commotion on the deck below, Nami tried to prevent Luffy from climbing over the railing while the rest of the crew stared out at the sea. At last, a ship appeared on the horizon behind them. Sanji immediately recognized the flag of the Marines.

Zoro came up next to him, a hand on his swords and a bloodthirsty grin on his face. A moment later, Robin followed and put a hand on his shoulder and Sanji felt an excited flutter in him.

Suddenly, Usopp called excitedly through the speakers, "Oh no oh no _oh no_!"

Sanji narrowed his eyes; the ship was catching up with them more and more. He wasn't afraid. Their crew was able to defend themselves without a hitch and he doubted they would meet anyone of a higher rank in the middle of the sea. But Usopp being this worried unsettled him and he looked up to the crow's nest from which Usopp just climbed down in no time.

"It's him!" the sniper shouted as he hurried to the others. As he passed, he thrust the binoculars he had been looking through into Sanji's hand.

"What?" Nami looked at him impatiently. "You have to be a bit more specific."

Usopp swallowed, his face pale like chalk. That in itself was nothing new, Usopp nearly always peed himself, but you could rely on him when it mattered.

"This marine officer. He's on the ship, this – this guy who..." He looked up to Sanji and at that moment, he understood what he meant and froze.

He glanced at the ship, which was approaching rapidly. It was a larger warship, probably with several hundred marines, but he didn’t care about the mass of enemies. He was only afraid of one. Goose bumps formed on his arms and he cursed himself for having left the prostheses just out of his reach. He could get them. He _had to_ get them if he didn't want to be as helpless as he had been before. Next to him, Zoro drew his katana.

He looked through the binoculars, there were people running around the deck wildly. And in the midst of them, as still as a statue, stood _he_. His face had burned itself into his memory. The short gray hair, the well-groomed beard and light gray eyes that stared ice-cold towards the Sunny. Had he already seen him?

Soon, they would be in firing range. It wouldn't be long before a fight broke out and he was right in the line of fire. He grabbed the tires of the wheelchair.

"I don't understand," Zoro said suddenly and he paused and looked at him in surprise. "Why doesn't he come here?"

In his fear he hadn't thought about it. He was a devil-fruit user who could teleport himself and others; so why was he still standing on the deck of the marine ship, not teleporting to them? Was he afraid of them? Unlikely, when he had proven more than enough that he was superior to them at their last fight.

Robin kept her arms crossed in front of her body, ready to attack or defend herself. He could see her calculating.

"Maybe he can't," she said.

Zoro looked at her blankly.

"Why shouldn't he be able to-"

"It's almost two miles away."

Slowly, it dawned on Sanji what Robin meant.

"You believe there is a limit? How far he can teleport?"

Robin nodded.

"That is to be suspected. But I have no clue what exactly his limit is." Her eyes widened suddenly and she turned around. "Franky! Get us out of here!"

Franky hesitated for a moment and looked at Luffy, who had stopped leaning over the railing. Luffy in turn looked at Robin and his adventurous grin gave way to a grave expression before nodding to Franky.

"Aye aye, Captain!" Franky shouted and ran below deck.

Sanji reached out to Robin, he knew exactly what Franky was up to. He wanted to use the Coup de Burst to escape from this opponent a second time.

"No!" he shouted, so loud that the others on the deck below heard him. "Let's fight! This time we know his ability!" 

But at the same moment he felt a jolt go through the ship and all he could do was to hold on to the railing while he was thrown out of the wheelchair, which fell back and crashed against the wall. The wind rushed over his ears and suddenly they were flying high over the sea, nothing but clouds in sight.

He blinked, his eyes wet, and angrily wiped them with the back of his hand. He had failed. Neither had he been prepared nor had he been able to convince his friends to fight. Everything had happened too fast.

Zoro passed him and when he looked up, he saw that he wasn't the only one who was angry. Zoro's face was like a storm cloud. As he hung limply on the railing, he watched him walk down the stairs and to Luffy. Defiantly, Luffy squared his shoulders.

Suddenly, several arms sprang up on the railing, clinging to him, and he was picked up and put into the wheelchair, which Robin had pushed to him. Especially now he couldn't stand being pushed around and he bit his lip so he wouldn't say anything mean to her. After all, it was Robin-chan and she just meant well.

"Why?" He heard Zoro yelling from the deck below. He didn't bother to control his anger and Sanji couldn't blame him.

"You know why," he heard Luffy say.

"Do you think us too weak?" Zoro countered angrily. "We've run away from him once, a second time-"

"Will save our lives." Luffy began to turn away from him. "I do care about what you say, Zoro. But I won't lose any of you, is that clear?"

Robin put a hand on Sanji's shoulder and he winced. He grabbed the wheels with more force than was needed and pushed them forward, just away from here. He didn't want to see Zoro and Luffy arguing. It was unnatural, the two usually of one mind, almost like brothers. With Sanji, Zoro only fought seriously because they were fundamentally different; Zoro a lout with the manners of a goldfish, while he was raised to not take any shit from men and read every wish from each woman's lips.

Robin didn't follow him and as he closed the door behind himself he could hear Zoro yelling at his captain outside. It would hurt him later.

The prostheses rested in a niche near the entrance to the pantry. A nice help they had been there. He stared at his legs, which he had covered with a blanket as usual though he wasn't cold. He pulled them down. His wounds were now completely healed, but the pain remained. No day passed that he wasn't reminded of it, neither when he woke up, forgetting for a brief moment until the _lack of feeling_ reminded him, nor on the way to the shower which he walked with the prostheses, though it wasn't sensible to put them on for those two minutes, nor finally under the hot stream of water that ran pleasantly over his back, but caused the nerve endings in his knees to twitch painfully.

He was tired. His hands trembling with rage, he grabbed the stockings and routinely pulled them on. He didn't want to be a cripple. With hasty movements he put on the prostheses and pressed the button, which squeezed the remaining air between them and his thighs out. He wanted to punch the marine bastard and if it wasn't possible with his legs then he would do it with his hands. He didn't give a shit, he just wanted to hurt him somehow. To let him suffer. To cut him into pieces and then leave him behind.

His eyes stung and he pinched them shut. His chest ached, it hurt to breathe. He raised his fingers to his face and saw the trembling in them, anger and fear mixed until he could no longer tell them apart. He wanted to kill him. The thought alone was scary, he never had felt such hatred against someone before. He never had any reason to really hate anyone; if he had suffered, it hadn't been anyone's fault. But now that fear came with it. He hadn't been able to do anything. What if the marine ship had come even closer? Close enough for him. Close enough that he had suddenly stood next to him, staring at him out of those cold eyes. Close enough to commit a massacre on the Sunny.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against his hand, like he was praying, and stayed that way until someone approached the kitchen with loud stomps and yanked the door open.

Zoro didn't say anything as he came in and walked right past him to the fridge. But he could feel his anger, it was spreading out in waves like an earthquake at sea hitting him.

What reason did he have to be angry? He wasn't the one who had lost something. Zoro had only to blame himself. He hadn't reacted fast enough, he hadn't been able to stop his hand in time.

Sanji looked up. His hair strands partially blocked his view. He watched as Zoro took something out of the fridge – a bottle of ice-cold beer – and then turned to face him. They looked at each other, but neither of them said anything. Zoro's gaze was assessing, he could see the storm raging in him, but then Zoro made eye contact and walked past him.

What _right_ did he have to be angry?

He reached out and grabbed the corner of Zoro's shirt. Zoro paused, holding the bottle of beer in his hand.

"What?" he asked. His voice was tight, as if he had to hold himself back. That was what infuriated him the most.

But he didn't know what to say. There was so much that he wanted to throw at his head. So he did the only thing he could think of and attacked.

As he jumped out of the wheelchair he almost lost his balance, but he still clutched his shirt and kicked in his direction. Of course the kick didn't land, he was far too slow and Zoro knew his attacks too well. He dodged, but Sanji was still holding him.

"What's this all about?" Zoro exclaimed. "I told you, I'll only fight you on my own terms."

"I don't give a shit about what you said," Sanji spat and pulled him closer, his knee jerking up and hitting Zoro's stomach. Zoro grimaced.

"Leave it! Otherwise someone will be hurt again," he gasped. He grabbed Sanji's upper arms and held them tight. Sanji squirmed, but Zoro was stronger than him and he could not tear himself away.

"Are you worried about a few scratches?" Sanji mocked him.

"Shut up!" Zoro gritted his teeth. "What is wrong with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Why are you angry? It makes no sense."

Zoro looked at him in confusion.

"What? Of course that makes sense, I-"

Sanji thrust his knee back into his stomach. Maybe it was just bloodlust. The marine officer had come damn close to seriously harm their crew, and if he knew one thing, then it was that Zoro would defend his nakama to his last breath. The argument with Luffy and Chopper’s heartbreaking expression, it had to be because of that.

Zoro was breathing hard. His fingers dug painfully into his arms. Sanji kicked him again, but Zoro made no move to let him go or even defend himself.

"Fight back!" Sanji growled. Zoro shook his head. "Why not?!"

Zoro gritted his teeth and gasped as Sanji kicked him in the stomach a fourth and fifth time. His kicks were almost as strong as before and it had to hurt, but Zoro didn't move an inch. It took him a few heartbeats to answer.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," he finally said.

Sanji jerked back. What kind of idiot did he take him for? He tried to pull his arms out of Zoro's grip, but instead of letting go, Zoro pulled him closer to reinforce his grip. He braced his feet against the ground, but the metal slipped on the bare wooden floor and he lost his balance. Zoro held him by the arms. He tried to get out of his grip, but Zoro didn’t give up, his hands like vices. Again, he raised his knee to kick him, but Zoro slammed him suddenly and unexpectedly against the nearest wall. The back of his head hit the hard surface and he saw stars for a moment.

"I thought you didn't want me to hurt myself," Sanji said through clenched teeth. He blinked. His head started to throb.

"Shut up."

Zoro still held him tight. He had pressed his whole body against him, so it was impossible for him to keep attacking him. Not that his kicks had even done anything, but it had been more satisfying to be able to inflict at least a little bit of pain on him. This was just humiliating.

Sanji tried to breathe flatly, but failed. His heart was racing. Zoro's body heat was overwhelming. He couldn't take his eyes off his face, only inches from his own.

"I'm angry for the same reason as you," Zoro growled. "Not a day goes by that I don't imagine how I'd do the same thing to that bastard which he's forced me to do to you."

Sanji didn't want to listen to him. He didn't want explanations or apologies. He knew he had to forgive him if he wanted to continue traveling with them. Eventually. Not now, not today, he needed time. But at some point he had to do it.

It was a fucking difficult step.

"I don't attack you because I think you're weak," Zoro continued. "I don't think anyone here is weak, not even Nami or Usopp. Everyone has their strengths."

"Then fight me. Defend yourself-"

"Don't you understand? It's a joke to fight you!" Zoro suddenly yelled at him and Sanji jumped. "And it's not because of that," he pointed down, "but because you only fight with brute force! You are blind with anger! I don't know what you're trying to achieve, except-" he paused and his eyes widened as if he had just realized something, "unless you want to hurt yourself." His hands lost their hold and slid down his arms, but Sanji didn't move. Something in Zoro's eyes became cold. "If that's it, then ... then you're not the one I thought you were. Then you're a coward. "

Sanjis drew in a trembling breath. He was in desperate need of a cigarette.

"Take your hand off me," he growled.

To his surprise, Zoro stepped back. His body immediately felt colder and he slid down the wall because his legs could no longer support him. Zoro opened his mouth as if to say something else, but then he turned around and slammed the door behind him as he left the kitchen.

* * *

Zoro climbed up the ladder to the crow's nest and closed the trapdoor behind him when he reached the top. It was rare that anyone came up here except him. He glanced at his weights, but the dull ache in his stomach made him sit on the bench by one of the windows. The Sunny had landed on the water again, several miles from the hostile marine ship. He could understand why Luffy and the others preferred to use the Coup de Burst instead of fighting. But that didn't help against the knot of anger he had carried with him since he realized who exactly had been on the ship.

No, that wasn't quite true. If he was honest with himself – and he was, always – he had been carrying that anger around for much longer.

He got up and grabbed one of the weights, ignoring the pain in his stomach. Apparently the cook had regained his old power, even if he didn't applied it like he used to. But somehow that blockhead hadn't caught on to that. Everything he knew was anger and hatred and Zoro didn't know how to handle it.

He missed him.

Sometimes honesty with oneself was a burden.

In the past, the cook had pissed him off every day – with his way of idolizing the two women while keeping him away from his alcohol – but there had also been some good sides. He had known exactly how to provoke him so that he could fight with him. And it had been good fights, he had never had to hold back, he had swiftly dodged every movement of his swords or parried them with one of his kicks.

Now he had to hold back. He wasn't as fast as he used to be and it was easy to unbalance him even if he attacked him. In his current condition, he was the weakest of the crew, and Zoro was sure he knew that, too.

So why did he confront him like this? It had cost him quite a bit to offer him the training, but so far he had barely been able to persuade him to actually work with him.

Had he hit the nail on the head with his accusation? Did he want to be considered weak, so that he finally got his way and was thrown out of the crew?

He took an even heavier weight and lifted it over his head with one arm.

He'd never been able to overwhelm him so easily before. They'd always been equals; if one had won against the other on one day, he'd have get back at the other the next day. He had always been so quick. He had never been able to force the cook into the corner like that.

He hadn’t even resisted when he had pushed him against the wall. Zoro had pressed his thighs against the hard surface of his prostheses, but he hadn’t even felt a twitch. His breath had gone quickly, although he had visibly tried to calm himself down, and he had felt his fear. Although he constantly provoked him, attacked and incited him, he didn't want to fight with him. Sanji had cowered like a whimpering dog.

Sanji behaved as if his life was already over. As if he was just waiting for the rest of the crew to figure that out and let him go.

But he wouldn't allow that. Zoro, too, had once lost something important and he knew the pain, _but there was so much more_. He'd felt the power in his body, the trembling of his muscles that hid his true strength, the sharp blades of the prostheses that had shed blood before. And he remembered the elegance with which he had competed against him.

He wouldn't let him go. As much as his current attitude disgusted him, he was going to get him out of the hole he was guilty of.

The burning of his muscles was a good distraction for him and he exercised until the sun went down on the horizon.

* * *

Dinner was tense.

As Zoro came into the kitchen, sweaty from his training and completely unashamed with a naked chest, Sanji sent him only a cold look and silently served the food for the crew. The others seemed to realize that something was wrong, and accordingly, the meal was a lot calmer than usual. Luffy was the only one who didn't let the mood bother him and continued to eat with unbridled appetite.

Sanji took the last available seat. Unfortunately, that meant sitting directly opposite of the marimo, but he ignored him.

"What will we do if the Marines overtakes us?" Nami asked. "Sooner or later we have to stop at an island again. If he finds us there, we can't get away so easily."

Sanji watched the reactions at the table: Usopp went pale, Luffy looked serious as he used his nakama's distraction to steal food from the other plates, and Robin looked thoughtful. Chopper shot him a sympathetic look and turned away quickly as their eyes met. Unobtrusively, he let his gaze glide to Zoro, whose hand clenched so hard that his chopsticks broke. Brook cleared his throat.

"Robin, if I'm not mistaken, you had a theory," he said and Sanji was grateful that the tense silence was finally broken.

"Yes, but it's just a theory. So far I've found no evidence that I'm correct," she said. "I suspect his devil’s fruit power is limited to a certain range. Two miles or less, because that was the distance he had to our ship. But maybe there's another reason why he didn't teleport to us. We mustn't lull ourselves into a false sense of security, otherwise it can cost all of us our lives."

"Don't be so gloomy!" Usopp exclaimed, already jittering.

"Robin's right," Nami said. "It's quite possible that that's his weakness. But unless we have a proper plan of how we can face him, we shouldn't take risks. I suggest we pay special attention during the watch. And Franky," she said to the cyborg, "do we still have enough cola for another Coup de Burst?"

Franky stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"It should be enough for one more, but it wouldn't bring us as far as the last."

Nami nodded as if she had already expected that. Sanji admired her for her foresight. Kind and smart, that’s how he loved women.

"So we should definitely replenish the cola supplies. But don't worry, in a few days we'll reach the next island. We should stay there at least two days to stock up on supplies. Is that alright with you, Luffy?" She looked at Luffy, who nodded with his mouth full. Nami was the one who made most of their plans, along with Robin, but she always asked Luffy for permission. He was the captain after all.

"I'll go and train," Zoro said suddenly, standing up abruptly, the bench on which he had sat was shoved back with a grating sound.

"At least put your plate in the sink," grumbled Sanji.

Zoro sent him a pissed off look.

"Forget it, cook. It's not like anybody else has to do it."

He disappeared from the kitchen. Sanji clenched his teeth and tried to hide the astonished looks of his nakama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it will get better ... eventually ^-^°


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here's the next chapter. Thank you for being patient with me :3  
> I'm not too satisfied with this chapter, but we're coming closer to the good stuff!

They had ceased talking to each other.

Almost everyone had already approached him about it and it drove him crazy. Chopper was the first to look at him anxiously during a routine checkup and ask if he'd argued with Zoro. He had denied it. Somehow it didn't feel like a simple argument, it went much deeper. But he didn't tell the little reindeer that. And he didn't tell Usopp, who had stuck his long nose in the issue the next day or Franky, who had adjusted his prostheses in the hope that the pain in his knees would stop soon.

Unfortunately, the silence between them had one disadvantage: In the past few days he had moved as little as in the previous weeks. He was almost itching to do something. In the evenings, he wasn't nearly as exhausted as before and sometimes stared at the ceiling for hours, but sleep just wouldn't come. He had begun to cook particularly elaborate dishes in order to wear himself out, but even with this and despite even more meticulous cleaning of his kitchen, he felt he was missing something.

It wasn't long before he came to a conclusion. But like hell he would dance to the idiot's tune.

Brook had also dropped several comments, but otherwise had been remarkably quiet around him in the last few weeks. Sanji almost felt like he was avoiding him, until Brook came to his kitchen one evening, brewed a cup of tea for himself and then sat down at the bar as if they had made an appointment.

Sanji didn't turn around to him immediately. Instead, he busied himself by polishing away an invisible smudge on one of the glasses. He felt eyes burn between his shoulder blades and finally turned around, annoyed.

“It was hurtful at first, you know,” Brook said before he could open his mouth. "But then I remembered that I had fifty years to get used to it."

Sanji looked at him in confusion.

"I think it would be helpful if you started at the beginning," he finally said.

Brook rested his chin on his bony hands.

"The beginning ... yes, at first I thought my life was over. Well, I am dead! Yohoho!" He laughed. "But there are worse things than losing part of your body."

Sanji presses his lips together in a tight line. What did he know of his problems-

But of course he understood it. Brook had nothing left but bones, and the fact that he was still alive was only thanks to his special devil's fruit. But that didn't give him the right to patronize him that way!

"It's different," he said, also because he didn't want to quarrel with yet another crew member.

"In what way?" Brook probed and sipped loudly from his cup.

"You are – you can be glad to be alive!" he blurted out. "What would you care about how you look?"

"Yohoho, to hear that from _you_ of all people is really a surprise." Brook set the now empty teacup down with a clink. "You almost died too, so shouldn't you be just as happy about living? And even if I don't consider this as a competition, I have lost far more than you."

He got up and put the cup in the sink. He hesitated for a moment, but when he turned back to him, the look from his empty eye sockets was more serious than ever.

"And not just my flesh and skin."

Sanji shuddered.

They had come damn close to being slaughtered. The power of the Marines had been too overwhelming. They might as well be six feet under now, surrounded by dirt and worms. Brook knew that feeling – he had experienced it himself. In the hustle and bustle they experienced on their adventures every day it was too easy to forget that there was someone among them, who was not only much older than all of them, but had also experienced the greatest of horrors. He knew what it was like watching his crew die and being completely powerless. 

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It's alright," Brook said. "As I said, I had some time to get used to the idea of being dead. And now it doesn't bother me most of the time. But I would be glad if you'd be a little more thankful for all of this. You still have all your friends. You haven't lost anyone."

Ashamed, Sanji stared at the floor. He knew Brook was right, but it was so damn hard to _feel_ that way. How could he persuade himself to be content with his situation?

Brook walked past him and to the door. He hoped he would leave him alone soon because he wanted to sink into the ground. But when he reached the door, Brook stopped again.

"I think the only thing stopping you is your vanity."

Sanji's ears were burning. He was angry because Brook spoke so directly to him, but it had also struck a chord in him. It hurt to hear the truth. He wasn't good at admitting such things.

He looked up. Brook was gone and that was a good thing. With trembling fingers, he pulled his cigarettes and his lighter out of his trouser pocket and lit one up. The nicotine calmed him a little.

How should he proceed? No matter what he did, whether he put on a charming smile for the girls, entertained Luffy with smoke rings or spoiled Chopper with a sweet pastry, he felt as if building a cavern in himself bit by bit. When he took off the prostheses in the evening and put them next to his hammock, when he took a shower, using the stool Franky had made for him, when he saw Zoro train, he couldn't help but think of everything he had lost. He had lost neither his friends nor his life, but he had lost an important part of it. And with every step he made, he made two more back.

He started to cook. That was the only thing that gave him pleasure, and when he made an effort, he could distract himself so much that for a while no thought of his legs flared up in him.

He'd just switched the stove to low heat to let the stew simmer for a while as the door opened again. He didn't turn around. If it was Brook, he didn't want to go on talking to him; he had already said enough to make him feel bad.

A delicate hand reached past him and took the coffee pot. Immediately, his heart began to beat faster. Robin pulled her mouth into a small smile as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Excuse my rudeness, Robin-swan!" he stuttered embarrassed. "I thought it was someone else, otherwise I wouldn't have ignored you when you came in-"

"It's alright, Mister Cook," Robin chuckled and his heart jumped. Even after all the time he had spent with her and Nami-chan, he was still in love with her. How could it be otherwise, with these two beauties? He could barely look at her without being distracted by her flowing hair or soft skin.

"May I offer you something else?" he asked. "I baked some lemon cookies this morning."

"Gladly." To his surprise, Robin agreed and sat down at the table. He took out the cookie jar from his hiding place, which was known by everyone but Luffy, and arranged a small selection of biscuits on a separate plate. With one last look at the pot, he set the plate down in front of Robin and sat down next to her.

Robin sipped her coffee. He watched as the dark drink wet her lips as she set the cup down and quickly looked away as she lifted her gaze and fixated him with her omniscient eyes.

"Why did you think I was someone else? Did you expect someone?"

She sounded as if she already knew the answer. Sanji loved her cleverness, but he didn't like it when it was directed at him.

"Oh, no one special. I was just so absorbed in my work."

"Hmm." Robin took another sip. "I just talked to Brook."

Sanji avoided her gaze. He took a biscuit to avoid having to answer immediately, but Robin patiently waited until he had eaten the biscuit.

"I ... I think I hurt him," he finally said. Robin's expression didn't change.

"I don't think Brook gets hurt so easily."

"But he said it himself!" Sanji objected. Robin shrugged.

"Maybe. But first and foremost, he worries."

Sanji frowned thoughtfully.

"Did he talk to you?"

"He didn't. But I can imagine what you talked about."

Maybe she had overheard their conversation. Sanji knew Robin was always up to date on the ship. Her ability to grow her eyes and ears wherever she wanted was perfect for espionage. He took another biscuit. The lemon aroma slowly melted inside his mouth.

Robin propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her folded hands. The corners of her mouth pulled into a knowing smile.

"I think you should be thinking about someone else right now."

He knew who she meant immediately. Apparently, everyone wanted to get involved in his affairs. But he couldn't refuse Robin and so he decided not to say anything and kept chewing on the biscuit. That was rude, but still better than the alternative.

"He blames himself, you know."

"It's not like he isn't guilty!" Sanji snapped and immediately regretted it. Robin's expression darkened.

"Do you really think so? Do you think that anyone from our crew would have reacted better? That someone would have been faster?"

"No ..." Sanji rubbed his hands over his face. "Please, Robin. I don't want to talk about it. I _know_ that he isn't to blame. But I ... sometimes I can't face him."

"It's even more difficult for him to face you," Robin said softly. Sanji faltered. "You didn't see him, the first days. When you were still sleeping and we didn't know if you would make it or how you would react when you woke up, he kept going to the infirmary and back, as if he couldn't decide whether he should go to you or not."

In the end he had stayed. He had even guarded his door.

"He doesn't expect you to forgive him. Even if you told him, he would know that it isn't the truth. You shouldn't tell him until you mean it."

Sanji thought back to the night where Zoro had come to his room and had thrown himself down on the floor in front of him. He had probably already done the damage. And Zoro knew he didn't mean it, had known it even then, but had accepted it.

"You have lost your legs in a brutal way," Robin said frankly. "But can't you see the good in it?"

Sanji stared at her as if she had grown another head.

"The good? What the hell is that supposed to mean!" he shouted and halted. "Sorry, Robin-swan-"

"For one thing, your legs are much harder now," Robin continued unimpressed. "They are made of a very stable metal and it takes quite a bit to even get a scratch. As you've probably noticed."

Sanji blushed. Had she also witnessed his tantrum in the kitchen?

"And those blades that you initially found so unusual – aren't they beneficial to use in combat? Your kicks will be even more lethal if you'd use them properly."

"But I don't have as much strength as I used to," he contradicted.

"Then change that. You have a good training partner."

"Zoro?" Sanji gritted his teeth. "I'd rather not."

"Why not?"

"Because-" Sanji paused. Everything in him was reluctant to train with him again, but he didn't find a real reason for it. Robin smiled at him quietly. "Right now, there's bad blood between us," he finally said lamely. Zoro thought he wanted to hurt himself. As much as had happened, he had never wanted to do anything like that.

Robin finally took a lemon biscuit and offered him one more. He took it and bit off a corner so he had something to do.

"Isn't it time to jump over your shadow?" she asked with a smile. "Before it's too late."

The biscuit became stale in his mouth.

* * *

Even from afar he could hear that Zoro was training. Not that he even needed to hear it, as this guy did nothing but exercise, eat and sleep. In this order. Sanji leaned against the railing and lit a cigarette up, blowing the smoke out to the sea. A knot had formed in his stomach and he looked uneasily up to the crow's nest.

He pulled violently on the cigarette several times, so that it was already consumed after two minutes, and then threw it into the sea. With his hands in his pockets he finally went to the mast and climbed the ladder up to the crow's nest, poking his head through the hatch.

As expected, Zoro was training. He had his back turned to him and was lifting one of his larger weights, his back glistening with sweat, groaning with effort. Sanji could see his strong muscles tensing with every movement.

"Do you really need to make such sounds when you're training?" Sanji asked, pulling himself up with both arms.

Zoro didn't startle, the bastard had probably already noticed him, but had ignored him. Now he carefully put down the weight and took the towel, which was on the windowsill. Only then did he turn around.

"What do you want?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Damn, now the moment had come. Sanji had spent the past few days laying out his words, trying to shape them so they wouldn't sound like he was going to cave in.

He took a deep breath.

"Iwanttotrainagain!" he rattled down.

Zoro blinked at him, uncomprehending.

"What?"

"Are you deaf? Or do you already have moss in your ears?"

His hands were shaking. He had no idea why this made him so nervous. He hurriedly lit up another cigarette – he was on his second pack of the day – and sucked the smoke into his lungs.

Zoro wiped the sweat from his chest and arms.

"I heard you," he said. He opened a bottle of water and drank in greedy gulps. "But I don't want to."

"What? Why the hell not? You've wanted it the whole time!"

"To train, yes! But you only want to fight with me! I don't feel like doing it that way."

Apparently, Zoro had so much moss in his brain that he had to spell it out first.

"I really mean to train this time. As you – as you said." His ears flushed and he looked away as if he could hide them with that. Zoro didn't say anything. He just looked at him and waited. Apparently, the bastard wanted to hear more. "Okay, okay." Sanji drew in a shaky breath. "You were wrong, okay? I mean, what you said, that I wanted to hurt myself. I don't want that, okay? I just want to ... become stronger. And come to terms with this. And if I have to train with you, then I'll do it."

His whole face was burning now, but he didn't give a damn. If Zoro didn't accept this, then he could fuck himself and he would try to get by somehow else!

Zoro put the towel over his shoulder. His expression didn't change as he approached him and stopped in front of him. He looked at him as if searching for something and then – suddenly – he grinned. Sanji frowned and took a step back. That was definitely too close.

"Then let's start where we left off!" Zoro grabbed the small weight Sanji already was familiar with and threw it over to him.

Sanji caught it with ease and looked at him expectantly.

"Do you remember this exercise? With the arm behind your back?" Zoro asked as he approached.

He only remembered it partially, but nodded and moved to the position he remembered. The legs hip-width apart, the arm with the weight stretched over his shoulder. Zoro sighed.

"Don't say yes, if you don't mean it," he said, reaching for his hand to bring it a few inches closer to his head. He touched the muscle between his chest and his armpit. "Here, do you feel the stretch?" Sanji nodded, his ears bright red. Why did he have to come so close to him? "Now do the movement like this," he continued as he pressed lightly against his arm, "until your arm is almost straight, hold it briefly and then down again until your hand is between your shoulder blades. Hold it again and then start all over again."

Zoro let go and his arm went down immediately before counterbalancing it's loss. Zoro watched him as he performed the exercise slowly until he finally felt a burning sensation in his muscles. It didn't take long for him to work up a sweat, but he didn't want to back down and stop.

But that was probably what the mosshead expected of him.

"How ... how much longer?" he finally asked between clenched teeth.

"Do three more, then switch to the other arm."

Why didn't he tease him? It had been the perfect opportunity – was he be so weak that he had to stop, wasn't he fit enough to exhaust himself? But he said nothing like that.

Sanji dropped his arm and took the weight into the other hand. The exercise was much easier for him now, and Zoro corrected his posture only once. The next time Zoro told him to stop, his muscles burned in a way he had not felt in weeks.

"Okay, get on your back," Zoro said, handing him a second weight. This time, Sanji didn't grumble, but lay down on the floor and looked at him, waiting. "Stretch out your arms – not fully though –and hold the weights like that." He touched him briefly on the wrist and put his arms in the right position. Gripping his prostheses with one hand, he pushed him firmly down on the floor, letting his other hand hover over his stomach. "And now come up here. Neck straight. Don't pull your shoulders forward!"

"Anything else?" Sanji growled, but slowly came up. His stomach muscles burned. He hadn't reached Zoro's hand yet, when he let himself fall back. "Damn it."

Zoro shrugged.

"Not bad. Try it again."

Sanji gritted his teeth and tightened his muscles again. Zoro held his hand at the height of his stomach, if he wanted to reach it, he had to sit up completely. But it just didn't work, it was like an invisible barrier stopping him. Frustrated, he dropped back a second time.

"What the fuck?" he yelled at the ceiling. "I'm not that weak!"

Zoro looked at him thoughtfully.

"Stomach muscles are more difficult," he mused, and Sanji wanted to hit him. "The fact that you have hardly used them for weeks has probably weakened them."

"I'm not weak!"

"Oh, shut up." Again, Zoro held his hand over him and smirked at him. "And prove to me you’re not."

Sanji gritted his teeth.

"Bastard," he growled, but tensed his abs and tried to come up. Again, he didn't make it, but this time he came straight up again, and again, and again, until his abs burned like hell. When he finally tried it again, gasping, Zoro pushed him down again.

"That's enough. Too much isn't good."

"Like you're one to talk," Sanji mocked. "Let me continue, so I'll be stronger faster."

"Quit that bullshit. You'll just hurt yourself," Zoro said and took the weights from him.

"Are you an expert or something?"

Zoro just stared at him bored.

"How about some leg exercises instead?" he finally asked.

"Are you kidding? In case you didn't noticed, my legs-"

"Yeah, yeah, bla bla. I'm talking about your thighs, blondie. Or whatever you call those sticks. "

"Don't call them-"

"It's best if you stand straight, legs hip-width, back straight. Go on, go ahead."

Since when did the moss head not let himself be provoked anymore? That bothered him. But he had been the one who’d made him a peace offer, and as much as he wanted to beat him, he needed this training to be able to fulfill his dream at some point in the future.

He did what the idiot demanded and stared at him.

"Now crouch down – slowly – and keep your back straight. Tense your stomach muscles."

Zoro came up to him again and put his hand on his lower back. He felt its heat through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Go down as far as you can. But watch out for your posture," Zoro continued.

Okay, that was by far the most embarrassing exercise he'd ever experienced. His ass jutted out and he looked like he was about to go to the bathroom and he shot Zoro an angry look.

"Are you doing this shit on purpose, Marimo?" he growled.

Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Stop thinking crap and shut up."

Suddenly, he put a hand on his stomach and Sanji jumped.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You don't tense your stomach muscles up at all. And because of that you make a hollow back."

"My stomach is still hurting, okay?"

"Less complaining, more tensing. Now, go on."

Sanji grunted, but tensed his stomach. Immediately, the posture felt better. But it was exhausting. His legs trembled with the effort in his thighs, and with horror he realized how much his strength had actually diminished. At least he didn't lose his balance so easily anymore.

"Come up slowly," Zoro commanded, and Sanji was grateful when he was back upright. "And again from the beginning."

"You like to torture me, don't you?" Sanji squeezed out as he crouched down again.

"It's a nice side effect." Sanji looked up and Zoro grinned at him nastily.

"Bastard," Sanji replied, but this time it wasn't really serious.

* * *

A new routine began.

In the morning, Sanji got up early, washed his leg stumps and then put on the prostheses. Then he woke up Zoro – each time in a different way, which had become kind of a new hobby for him – and went ahead to the kitchen. Zoro followed him a few minutes later, when he had already laid out all the ingredients, and followed his instructions to prepare the breakfast. When they were done, most of the others already sat hungrily at the table and the whole crew ate what they had cooked together.

Then, when they had done the dishes together, they went up into the crow's nest and trained. While Sanji was in charge of the kitchen, Zoro was the one who gave instructions in the crow's nest. Sanji was still grumbling, but he realized that the mosshead had a clue about this.

He could feel himself getting stronger day by day, _but it just took forever_. Every day, he woke up with sore muscles. Sometimes he was hurting in places he didn't even know he had. But it was progress.

He hummed quietly to himself while standing at the stove and made fried eggs. Zoro prepared salad, which he now could do on his own. The sun shone brightly through the kitchen window, promising a warm day. Cheerful, he pulled at his cigarette, enjoying one of those few peaceful moments.

Then the door was yanked open and Luffy stormed in.

"Sanji! I'm hungry! Give me food!" he shouted, his screaming piercing right into Sanji's brain.

"Shut up, you glutton!" With one leg he kept Luffy at a distance and prevented him from reaching into the still hot pan. "And stay away, or there will be no meat left for lunch!"

Luffy pouted.

"You're mean!"

Sanji ignored him and turned off the stove. He shoveled the fried eggs on different plates, added toast, sausage and cheese and then put everything on the table. Luffy already reached out with one arm.

"Don't you dare to touch something before the others are here!"

Luffy stuck his tongue out at him, then ran to the door and yelled down the corridor, "Guys! Food is ready! Hurry, I'm hungry and Sanji won't let me eat!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. That could also be considered a method.

Zoro came up next to him and put a large bowl of salad in the middle of the table. Sanji eyed it critically.

"Did you cut the tomatoes the way I told you?"

"Yes."

"Cut the salad in small pieces?"

"Yes."

"Made the sauce with the mild vinegar?"

"Stop asking me, or I'll let you do your favorite exercise today," Zoro answered. Sanji's eyebrow twitched annoyed. He hated this exercise.

"I just want to make sure Robin-swan and Nami-chan are not spoiling their stomachs because of your cooking."

"Tch. The most important thing for you is that your _ladies_ are fine, eh?" he mocked, but before Sanji could respond to it the others came in and now there really was nothing left to stop Luffy from stuffing his mouth full of food.

After he had provided Robin with freshly brewed coffee and Nami with a cup of jasmine tea, he was the last one to sit down at the table. He nibbled on the toast and tried to watch Zoro out of the corner of his eye. They got along better lately. Of course, they still went at each other's throat at every opportunity, but since Zoro still refused to fight properly with him it usually became some sort of verbal fighting. And if he was honest he even had a little bit of fun with that.

But somehow Zoro behaved strangely. What he had said just a moment before was just one example more. They could be in a room without arguing with each other all the time, but as soon as someone else came along he was somehow more biting than usual.

Zoro had already gobbled down the contents of his plate and was now shoveling salad on it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a hand approaching his own plate and quickly brought his food out of reach of Luffy's mitts.

"Oh, that explains a lot," Robin said suddenly. She had opened the newspaper and pointed to a tiny article on the edge.

"What is it?" Zoro smacked with a full mouth. Sanji glared at him.

"Stop insulting Robin-swan with your disgusting manners!"

Zoro looked at him unimpressed. Then he opened his still full mouth.

"You bastard! Stop being so disgusting! Don't you have any decency? - Oh, excuse my French! Zoro always brings out the worst side of me," he finally said to Robin and Nami. Zoro narrowed his eyes to slits.

Robin smiled good-naturally.

"Apparently, the Marines now knows you're alive," she said, pointing at a passage of the article. "They updated your profile and also changed your bounty."

"What? How much?" all of them shouted at once.

"40 thousand Beli."

Sanji's jaw dropped.

"What? Why only this much? My bounty had been four times higher!" 

Robin said nothing, but Sanji knew what everyone thought at the table. His condition was no longer a secret. Presumably, he had been recognized in the city where they had discovered his crossed-out poster.

"That's why the marine officer was after us," Nami concluded. "He got wind of it and wanted to finish what he started."

"Doesn't matter why he did it! The important thing is that we'll be prepared next time," Zoro said.

"But how?" Nami rested her head on her hand. "So far, we have no chance to keep our distance. If it's really true and he has a certain reach."

"What else should have stopped him?"

They looked at each other at a loss. He was an enemy they couldn't defeat with sheer force. Even Luffy couldn't hurt him.

Robin stood up.

"I will go to the library and see if I can find information about his devil fruit."

She took her coffee and disappeared. For a few moments, no one said anything, then Nami cleared her throat.

"Hm ... we’re nearing the archipelago of Os," she stated, "the islands are known for their technology. Maybe we'll find something there that will help us. "

"Super!" Franky exclaimed. "Then I can finally stock up our cola supplies. And maybe I'll find something cool for your prostheses, Sanji-bro!"

"Then I'll continue writing my next composition. Yohoho!"

"And I still have to prepare ammunition!"

"Sanji, dessert!"

"That was breakfast, you glutton!"

Sanji rubbed his face in frustration as the kitchen slowly emptied. Again, it seemed as if a hurricane had raged through the room, the dirty plates were spread across the table and the cutlery had spilled some food on the wood of the table. On the stove were several pans in which he had fried the eggs and toast. It would take a while to rinse and clean up all of it.

Sighing, he pushed back the chair and stood up. Only a few weeks ago he hadn't been able to do this independently.

"Move, Marimo, and help me," he said over his shoulder. Zoro stood up without complaining and stood next to him at the sink. Another miracle.

In fact, they had been getting along surprisingly well lately. It still irritated him when he did something wrong with the exercises – and there were plenty of things he did wrong, if you believed the algae head – but he didn't want to go for his throat anymore. And Zoro readily helped him in the kitchen. He was almost tempted to put an apron on him, just to see how he reacted.

Zoro handed him a wet plate, which he accepted and dried.

"Training again tonight?" Sanji asked without looking at him.

Zoro made a noncommittal sound.

"Hm. Don't you have enough?" he asked.

Sanji's eyebrow twitched.

"Do you think I can't do it?"

Zoro sighed.

"I just think you shouldn't overexert ... oh, fuck it. It's your choice."

Sanji grinned victoriously. They hurried to clean the kitchen and with the two of them the room soon shone as good as new again. As Sanji put the last plates into the cupboard, Zoro put the broom into the corner and pointed outside.

"Well then, get started. The faster we get through the training, the faster I get my sake."

He took the bottle and disappeared.

"Pisshead," Sanji snorted, but followed him.

He had been on the prostheses all day, along with the training he had done this morning. His knees were hurting now, but he also knew it got better every day.

Zoro threw a weight at him as soon as he was climbing through the hatch into the crow's nest and he caught it almost without looking. Zoro grinned at him.

"Your reflexes are still the same," he said.

Sanji decided not to answer and positioned himself with the weight in the familiar position instead.

"Like always?" he asked, but didn't wait for Zoro's answer. The exercises had become familiar to him after a short time and he could do them in his sleep. At least he felt confident in that, but Zoro disagreed.

"You still have a tendency to keep your arm too far away from your head," Zoro said, pressing his arm with his fingertips in the right direction. The touch had become familiar to him by now. Although he wouldn't let him grope him any other time, he had resigned himself to the fact that the Marimo was allowed to touch him at least during training to correct his stance.

They went through the usual exercises. Soon, he felt the familiar burning sensation in his muscles, only this time it was much stronger than in the last days. Probably because he had already trained in the morning. He forced himself through the last few exercises while sweat ran down his forehead.

He crouched down, his arms stretched forwards with the weights. He hated this exercise because his thighs always felt like they were squeezed into vices. His legs trembled, but he managed to come up again. His heart pounded hard in his chest. He went down again, the strain in his muscles almost unbearable. He blinked, sweat running into his eyes. A nerve in his knee twitched and he wanted to come back up, but his muscles just not obeyed him. He clenched his teeth, but suddenly his strength vanished and his legs collapsed.

Quick as lightning, Zoro jumped forward and grabbed his arms.

"You idiot," he said. "I knew it was too much to train twice a day."

"I'm not weak!" Sanji protested as he let Zoro haul him onto the windowsill. A bottle of water was pressed into his hand, he hadn't even touched it in the hour they had been training.

"I never said that either."

"Why does it take so long? I feel like I need forever."

Zoro shrugged. Sanji looked at him and pouted.

"It doesn't take this long for you! You just have to look at your huge weights and you're already growing muscle."

"Everyone is different. You're not building muscle that fast."

"You mean that I'm worse at it."

"No, you moron! Just listen to me instead of constantly only hearing what you want to hear!" Zoro glared at him. "It doesn't mean that you're weak, but that your strengths lie elsewhere."

Sanji looked at him, unconvinced.

"You're not supposed to build up too much muscle. But you're much more agile than me. I couldn't move as fast as you."

"Ah, was that a compliment?" Sanji taunted.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, curlybrow," Zoro huffed and opened the sake bottle, which stood next to him on the windowsill. Sanji grinned, somehow he felt better now. Maybe this guy didn't just have moss in his head. Zoro put the bottle to his mouth and drank straight from it.

"Hey, give me something, too."

Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Since when do you drink sake?" he asked as he handed him the bottle. "If you drink anything, it's mostly wine."

"Sake is also wine, idiot." Sanji eyed the bottle critically, then shrugged and sipped it. Didn't taste too bad.

For a while, they sat side by side and silently shared the alcohol. Sanji stared out the window at the sea, which slowly turned into black. Even though Zoro had cheered him up a bit, it still took him too long. It seemed like an eternity ago, this fight against the devil fruit user and waking up in the hospital bed. A shiver ran down his spine.

"Cold?" Zoro asked him from the side. Sanji shook his head. "You know," Zoro continued, as if he'd given him some damned sign to continue chatting, "I think you've made huge progress."

Sanji huffed.

"Yeah, sure. I can't even run all day with these things without being in pain in the evening!"

"But you can walk."

Sanji looked at him and their eyes met.

"Just a few weeks ago, you couldn't walk – hell, you couldn't even get dressed alone without having someone help you, you had trouble with stairs-"

"Yeah, yeah, I understand! Everything's great." Sanji sighed loudly. Zoro frowned. "Never mind. I'm just frustrated."

"Understandable."

Was it strange of him to let himself be cheered up by the one who was to blame for his fate? It was better not to think about it.

Sanji pointed at the sake bottle.

"How much’s left?" he asked and Zoro swung the bottle back and forth.

"Maybe two or three sips."

"Give it to me."

Before Zoro could protest, he had taken the bottle from his hand and drank the sake in large gulps.

"Hey! I wanted to drink that!"

"Then get another."

Zoro looked at him irritated.

"Do you want to get drunk?"

"Are you opposed to that?"

Zoro stared at him for a moment, then got up and walked to the hatch.

"Just so you know, I won't push you any less hard at tomorrow's training."

"Aye aye." Carelessly, Sanji waved after him.

* * *

A few minutes later, Zoro came back with a second bottle of sake in his hand. Sanji was still sitting on the windowsill, moping. He really got on his nerves. This idiot seemed to think that twice as much training would bring him twice as fast towards his goal, but in truth it only slowed down his progress. He could understand that he was frustrated, but if he continued like that he would only be caught in an eternal cycle of frustration and self-injury.

He sat down and opened the sake with a practiced hand.

"Cheers."

He took a long sip and handed the bottle to Sanji. The training must have drained him and the alcohol would certainly not help him. He didn't even feel nearly tipsy as his tolerance was just too high for that.

After Sanji took another sip, he suddenly grimaced and rubbed his thigh. Zoro peered down to his legs.

Of course, his legs had to hurt after the long day. When they cleaned up the kitchen together in the evenings, he would sometimes pull the wheelchair to the bench and take off the prostheses, a look of relief on his face. Zoro had asked Chopper if he couldn't do something to help, but Chopper had just told him that it was perfectly normal and the skin on Sanji's knees just needed a little more time and was still very sensitive at the moment.

"You can take them off if you want," Zoro began cautiously. Sanji's eyes jerked to him. "I can see that your legs are hurting. So you can take them off, the prostheses I mean."

Sanji stared at him with wide eyes, and to his astonishment he saw the tips of his ears begin to redden. What had he said now?

"My muscles just feel a bit sore. No need to take them off," he answered curtly and continued to drink.

It seemed like one had to force this idiot to take care of himself. Zoro grabbed his legs and heaved them up onto his lap.

"H-Hey!" Sanji protested, almost dropping the bottle. He struggled against him, but Zoro held him tight.

"Don't you dare to spill the sake, curlybrow," he mumbled, pushing Sanji's pant legs up and pressing his thumbs into his thighs.

"What are you – ooooh," Sanji broke off and Zoro grinned. The cook hadn't lied, his muscles were fucking hard. They had to hurt like hell. To his amusement, his ears were still glowing red.

"You're embarrassed," he told him just to annoy him as he pushed against a muscle with both thumbs. No wonder his kicks were as deadly as they were, his legs effectively consisted only of muscles. Unfortunately, he could only get to the upper half of his thighs because the rest was stuck in the prostheses. But he'd probably not react too well if he took them off.

Sanji meticulously observed his movements.

"I don't want you to touch them," he grumbled, but left his legs on top of him. He swallowed. "Don't you think it's disgusting?"

Zoro frowned in confusion. Did he mean his legs? He would have been blind not to notice that Sanji avoided looking at them. And the shape of the prostheses prevented him from wearing tight-fitting trousers and so he was practically forced to wear shorts. He couldn't hide them.

"Do you mean your legs or the prostheses?" he asked and Sanji winced.

"Both."

He started to pull down his legs, but Zoro grabbed them tighter, his fingers brushing against the cold metal at the middle of his thigh. Sanji drew in a sharp breath.

Did he have a problem with that? He let his fingers slide down over the smooth metal. It yielded a bit, as if Franky had worked something else into it. His fingers continued to slide down to the knee joint. From here on the leg was just artificial. It was obvious from the shape of the prosthesis that this was no longer a leg of flesh and blood. With a painful pang in his chest, he thought back to the moment when he had separated his legs from the rest of his body. Muscles, tendons, bones – they all had been no obstacle for his sword. It had almost felt like nothing.

The metal was warm under his fingers. Why had he started to do this? It was dangerous terrain.

Sanji stared at him. He shouldn't lose himself in thought, especially not in such as _these_. He put his hands back on the thighs and continued to massage them.

"Do you think I'd find something disgusting of which I'm at fault?" he asked, unable to suppress a hint of anger in his voice. Hadn't they always been equal? Sanji may felt inferior now, but since that day he was the one who didn't feel worthy of the crew anymore.

"Does that matter?" Sanji's voice was tense, as if he wanted to jump up at any moment. "These prostheses are just a pile of metal. They feel cold and hard and I have to _oil_ them so they won't wear out! It feels like a replacement because it is just a replacement." He ran a hand over his face and through his hair. Zoro saw that it was trembling and for a moment he was overcome by the crazy thought of taking it in his own and his breath caught. Sanji didn't seem to notice. "I don't feel anything with them! They're just dead."

"But you can walk with them," he said, partly to say anything at all. Slowly, the muscle loosened under the attention of his fingers.

"You can run with them, you can run with them, can't you think of anything better? My legs aren't only there for _running_!"

"Then what else?"

"What else-" Sanji paused. His mouth opened and closed again. "That's – it's not really a purpose, but – they looked – my legs looked good, okay?" it shot out of him. "They had a nice shape, they'd some hair, not too much and not too less – not like you, so completely without hair, totally unmanly! And they were damn strong! I've trained so much and now it's all for nothing! And now I'm running around on those damn metal sticks and if we’ll anchor somewhere, I can't even flirt with the girls on the island – because who wants a cripple? So fuck running, that's not the only thing I've lost!"

Sanji was breathing hard. Zoro's fingers had dug into his thighs.

"Seriously?" Zoro couldn't believe it. "So it's more important for you to look good than to be in this crew?"

Sanji jumped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"What – no, I don't have-"

Hastily, he pulled his legs back and scrambled to his feet. Zoro reached for him and grabbed one of his trouser legs, he stumbled, Zoro wrapped his arm around his stomach and pulled him back onto the windowsill. Sanji struggled, but to no avail, and finally he snorted and crossed his arms in front of his body.

"What is it then? If the most important thing is to stay in the crew, why is it so important to you to _look good_?" He said it as if it was something abnormal and Sanji pulled the corners of his mouth to a bitter smile. Zoro frowned, that didn't suit him at all. Sanji sat next to him, their legs pressed against each other. His warmth burned through to his arms, which still held him firmly in place.

Sanji hesitated. He chewed nervously on the inside of his cheeks.

"You can't understand it," he finally said and Zoro sighed in exasperation.

"Try me. Maybe I’ll understand it because my head isn’t only vegetables, curlybrow."

"It's not that easy, okay?" Sanji dropped his shoulders. "I know it's not that important. And it isn't, not for you or Luffy. I know that I should only focus on getting stronger. But ... when I look in the mirror in the morning ... it's not me anymore."

"Bullshit," Zoro commented dryly.

"No, I am – I don't recognize myself, not down there. It doesn't feel like my body anymore. And by that I mean not only the prostheses, but also my legs. Well, that what's left over. I look at my thighs and think – I find it disgusting," he finally confessed and Zoro was not sure if he should be grateful that Sanji shared such a secret with him or not.

"When I got that scar," he finally began pointing to the big, bulging scar that ran across his upper body, "my first thought was shame. I also didn't want to look at myself, but not because I no longer liked my body, but because I failed. I fought Mihawk and he made me look like a kid. Today I know that I was one at the time." Zoro's grip on Sanji intensified as he listened to him. "It's not you who can't look at himself anymore. Because it isn't your failure that you see in the mirror. It's mine."

Sanji's eyes widened. Then they flashed angrily.

"Now quit your pity party!" he growled at him. "I haven't forgiven you yet, but that doesn't mean that you should wallow in guilt."

"Tough shit. I can't choose what I feel," Zoro grumbled.

Sanji gritted his teeth. Zoro felt the tension in his thighs.

"Oh fuck this, alright," Sanji mumbled finally. "I don't want you to feel guilty, but I can't possibly keep you from it." Sanji stared out at the open sea, now completely black. "But I don't want you to beat yourself up about it, okay? Now take your mitts off of me or are you getting touchy-feely or something?" He pushed him away with both arms while Zoro froze.

Why hadn't he noticed that earlier? All this honesty with himself, the many hours of meditation, all that had apparently not helped him recognize the obvious.

His fingers still tingled where he had touched him and he had to resist the temptation to put his hands back on his thighs. Sanji frowned and looked at him.

"Hey, mosshead." He waved a hand in front of his face. "Are you still there or is your brain finally overgrown with all that moss?"

Zoro blinked and looked at him – Sanji's blue eyes stared back clearly.

Fuck.

He had a serious problem.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's another chapter and we finally arrived at our new destination! Please let me know your thoughts :3c

As predicted by Nami, an archipelago soon came into view. Sanji stepped to the edge of the rail as they slowly approached the shore. The temperature had been falling for hours and by the time he had looked at the thermometer hanging on the wall beside the exit to the middle deck, it had indicated an outside temperature of minus twelve degrees centigrade. He had dressed accordingly: He had put on his favorite sweater over his t-shirt, plus wide pants that he could wear even with his impractically shaped prostheses. He usually refused to put those pants on because they were far too old and faded. But fortunately they disappeared under the thick fur-lined winter coat.

Zoro came up beside him, dressed the same way as him, his three swords tied to his hips as usual. His ears and cheeks were red with cold, though he hadn't been out for even five minutes. It collided wonderfully with his green hair and Sanji chuckled behind his hand.

"Strange islands," Zoro remarked. Sanji squinted. The wind whistled sharply around his ears and he pulled his hood more over his head.

Zoro was right. The archipelago consisted of five islands of different sizes, each of them connected by massive bridges. Even from here, at least another hour from the shore, he could see the huge vents that rose like dead trees on each of the islands, blowing black smoke into the air.

"Reminds me of Karakuri." Franky came up next to them. His winter coat was tight on his huge shoulders and to his chagrin Sanji realized that he still wore no pants. Well, hope dies last. They both looked at him in confusion. "This was the island that I've ended up for the past two years. I've got my super cool inventions from there!" He grinned and threw himself into a pose. " _Super_!"

Sanji's teeth chattered with cold and he teetered a bit on the spot. How could anyone stand this cold?

Franky rubbed his hands, full of anticipation.

"Maybe I can find some spare parts for me here." He put his sunglasses higher on his nose. "And maybe I'll find something cool for you too, Sanji-bro!"

Sanji forced a smile, he didn't want to be thrown into the same pile as Franky, he wasn't a cyborg, was he? When did one start to become one? Was he already one because one body part was made of metal or did one have to be as crazy as Franky and practically only run on coke?

"Come on, let's go in. I'm freezing my ass off," Zoro shivered and Sanji grinned. He followed Zoro into the kitchen, where he made them hot tea.

* * *

It was just over an hour later when they finally anchored. On the one hand, Sanji was happy to get off the ship at last – as much as he loved his friends, after a while they just got on his nerves in such a small space. Of course, that didn't apply to his enchanting ladies. On the other hand, that also meant venturing into the unknown – nobody knew what dangers could lurk on the islands. Nami said that the Marine base was small and didn't pose any great danger, but you never knew. If the journey with Luffy had taught him one thing, then that things never turn out the way you expect.

He shouldered his backpack and climbed over the railing onto the dock. Robin, who had volunteered to guard the ship, stood aboard and waved them goodbye. A small smile played on her lips and made his heart beat faster. What would he give for being alone with her on board! But unfortunately he had to worry about filling the empty storerooms, which was mainly his captain's fault.

"Let's go!"

Nami sighed as Luffy sprinted off and the rest of the crew started moving. The usual madness. Sanji lit a cigarette, put it in his mouth, then slid his hands into the warmth of his jacket pockets.

Since there was a small Marine base on the central island, they had driven around one of the smaller islands and anchored in a narrow bay. The path beneath them was covered with snow and was apparently not used very often. It led to a small collection of houses, which gradually grew into the city.

After a while the path widened to a street. The snow had been shoveled away properly, the street below was of dark stone, silver threads running through it. Upon closer inspection, Sanji realized that it was metal. His prostheses clattered loudly with every step.

He watched his surroundings closely. The shock a few days ago was still deep in his bones and he wanted to avoid being ambushed. Besides, he didn't like this city – even if he couldn't put his finger on as to why.

"If you keep looking so tense, your face will freeze," Zoro pointed out. Sanji hadn't noticed him walking beside him.

"Better take care that your grass head doesn't die off in this cold," he muttered, taking one last drag from his cigarette before dropping the stub on the floor and smothering the embers with the tip of a prosthesis.

"Ha." Zoro blinked, leaning forward and grinning broadly. "You really have no right to talk like that, after all it's your beard from which icicles hang down!"

That was definitely too close and Sanji stepped aside. The idiot had recently become accustomed to getting too close to him all the time. He touched his goatee and indeed could feel several small hard icicles that had formed there. Angrily, he picked them off. Fucking cold island. He was glad when they could get away from here. Oh well, he was glad when he was finally back in his kitchen and could warm himself at the stove.

It was only as they approached the city that Sanji realized how huge the chimneys were that they had seen from afar. This wasn't a city, it was a _factory_. He felt like he was in a column of ants as the chimneys rose higher and higher above their heads. The houses sprouting from the ground around them were low and almost black with soot.

It took a while for them to meet people. Packed in warm winter clothes, hiding faces behind several layers of thick wool, he could barely tell if they were women or men. His nose burned with cold and he rubbed it before lighting a second cigarette.

The closer they got to the center of the city, the busier it became. Here and there they passed a few marines, but no one recognized them through their thick winter clothes. At first, the city had almost felt abandoned, but apparently most of the time was spent in the city center. Still, it didn't look as if they would get what they needed here.

He turned to Nami.

"Nami-chan, are you sure that we're-"

She wasn't there. Next to him stood only Franky, Usopp and Zoro. How had this disoriented idiot managed to stay with the group when the rest was gone? Or were they the ones who got lost and he just didn't notice? Was Zoro's stupidity contagious?

"Where are the others?" he asked everyone. Zoro shrugged. Of course, the idiot wasn't worried, it was normal for him to walk around alone.

"We'll find them again." Franky clapped him encouragingly on the shoulder with such strength that he was nearly brought to his knees. "Luffy-bro is hard to miss!"

Sanji nodded, but he had a bad feeling. He wasn't afraid of the Marines in the base, they were all small fry which he should be able to defeat in no time. And he still had the others by his side. But what if this officer had followed them? He had found them before, so he could do it again.

Tense, he followed the others. Franky and Usopp stopped in front of one of the houses, whose door frame spelled the words 'buying & selling metals'. Zoro moved on and Sanji grabbed him by the collar so they wouldn't lose him.

"What are you doing?" Zoro grumbled.

"You're really too stupid to walk straight, eh?" Sanji hissed. "Get in there," he said, pointing at the shop where Franky and Usopp had already disappeared.

"You could have said that you wanted to go in here," Zoro mumbled, but let himself be pushed through the door.

As Sanji entered, he immediately noticed a sharp smell and wrinkled his nose. It reeked of metal and oil, the walls and a large portion of the room were crammed with shelves brimmed with sheets and screws in small boxes. A door led further into the building, but it had been covered with a heavy curtain. It reminded him a lot of Franky’s workshop.

"Ah, visitors!" A small man emerged from behind one of the shelves. Soot stains dotted his thinning white hair. "How can I help you?"

"We just wanted to look around," Usopp said as Franky inspected the shelves closer.

"Go ahead! Let me know if you need anything," the man said kindly. Then his eyes fell on Sanji's feet, which protruded from beneath his winter coat. Sanji involuntarily took a step back, his prostheses clattering loudly on the stone floor of the shop. To let someone see his disability was the last thing he wanted.

The owner eyed him with interest.

"Excuse me, but could I ... could I see those?" he asked.

"There's nothing exciting to see." He hoped they could get out of here soon. Even here it was cold, the joints on the door frame were only provisionally locked and an icy breeze blew against his neck.

The man looked at him disappointed.

"Can't be helped," he said, dropping his shoulders. "But could you at least tell me where you got them from? Or by whom they were made?"

"That would be me!" Franky came up next to him and grinned proudly. "The prostheses are made with a stainless metal, have a knee joint and he can even run really fast with them! And he," he said, pointing to Usopp, who smiled modestly, "helped me a lot with the design."

Sanji felt his ears glowing. He wasn't a demonstration piece!

"How much do you charge for something like this?" the man suddenly asked. Sanji looked at him in surprise. Only now did he notice the owner's tattered clothes and the hopeful look he gave Franky.

Franky scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Well ... I don't actually accept any orders. I may be a craftsman, but I’m also a pirate."

The old man winced. The next moment he scurried to the window and peered through the dirty glass.

"A pirate?" he asked hesitantly, as if he had misheard. "The Marine-"

"We don't want any trouble. We’re just here for a short stopover and then will leave immediately," Usopp said soothingly. The old man turned to him. It was obvious he was struggling with himself.

"My daughter-" he began and fell silent again. His gaze fell on Sanji's prostheses again. "Please, may I see them just once?"

"I said there was nothing to see!" Sanji hissed. He had no idea what problem the guy had, but he didn't want to be turned into a demonstration piece.

"Now don't make such a fuss!" Zoro grabbed his coat and began unbuttoning it. "Where's the problem when it matters so much to him?"

Sanji slapped his hand away and whispered, "You know exactly what my problem is!"

"Someday you have to get over it." He had managed to open his coat and flipped it open, so that the prostheses came to light.

The man knelt in front of him and with one hand touched the metal at his feet. Sanji avoided to look at him, he didn't want to see the expression on the old man's face.

"May I?" the man asked and before he could give an answer he had already rolled up his pants and bared his right prosthesis up to his knee. "A unique construction. And it is fully mobile?"

"It is," he growled, pushing his trouser leg down again. "Why do you even ask?"

The man flinched and stepped back, realizing that you couldn't just touch strangers and drill them with questions.

"My daughter-" he began again. "She had an accident."

But the old man didn't need to go on. Presumably attracted by the noise they had made, the curtain had been pulled aside. In the doorway stood a little girl. She was maybe ten or eleven years old and wore a coat that was way too big for her, so she had to roll up her sleeves. Her face was half hidden behind a scarf. She was pale, her hair unkempt and her body too thin. Sanji recognized the signs of malnutrition when he saw it. He had been starving once himself. 

But the most prominent thing about her was the stump on her right arm, which was loosely bandaged with a dirty cloth. She had no hand. The nerves in Sanji’s knee twitched.

"How did that happen?" he asked without thinking. It just slipped out like that. The hand. Even the right one and most people were right-handed. That poor girl.

"That's not important," the man said immediately and Sanji got the impression that it was very much so, but that he wouldn't get it out of him. He turned to Franky with pleading eyes. "I beg of you! Can't you help her? She can't work without a hand!"

Sanji stared at the man in disbelief. Work? Was that the first thing he thought about? The girl was still so young! Sanji watched her walk behind her father – or grandfather? He had no idea – and staring at the strangers with wide eyes.

Franky scratched his chin.

"We don't have much time. And a hand is much more complicated than a leg," he mused. "But I could make a prosthesis that can do simple grasping motions," he said and then performed that movement to illustrate it.

"That would help us!" cried the man. "And as payment – as payment I give you my best metal! Everything you want!"

"But daddy-" The girl spoke for the first time and Sanji made a mental note: it’s the father, although he already looked so old. "Daddy, you can't give it away. What will he-"

"I won't give it away, my little one." Her father lovingly stroked her head. "I'll sell it. For your hand. Then you will feel better again."

"I don't need any payment." Franky rubbed his hands in anticipation. "But it would be super if you had any metal to make the prosthetic hand with!"

The man stared at him as if he couldn't believe his luck.

"Thank you! I don't know how I could ever repay you..."

But Franky stopped him with a wave of his hand and curiously glanced around the shop.

"Nah! No problem, just show us what you've got!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. Franky was in his element, so this could take hours. He also had other things to do, such as taking care of the crew.

"Is there a market here?" he asked, before the owner could be completely taken in by Franky and Usopp, who looked around with curiosity. "Or anything else where I can buy supplies?"

The owner hesitated and for a moment his face went blank.

"We have a market," he finally said slowly. "It's not big, but it should be enough. Evie, could you accompany the nice men there?" he said to his daughter.

The girl nodded hesitantly and pulled the scarf tighter around her little face. When she opened the door, an icy wind blew in and Sanji remembered how cold it was outside. He hoped this market was more isolated from the wind because you could hardly be outside for half an hour at these temperatures. 

Zoro followed them. He probably didn't feel like listening to them talking about metals and wires and what else. The girl went ahead and Sanji couldn't shake off the thought of what had happened to her. Would she tell him if he asked her? On the other hand, it was none of his business. He also didn't want her father to examine his prostheses more closely. And he certainly didn't want to tell him how it had happened. Her experience had probably been as traumatic to her as it had been to him.

So he just had to smile and bear it. Franky would make her a prosthesis, but he would have to be quick if they wanted to leave in two days.

Only then did he realize that one was missing.

Zoro was gone.

This disoriented bastard! How difficult could it be _not_ to divert from a straight road? Apparently it was too difficult for someone who grew moss on their head. He sighed annoyed and the girl turned to him.

"Where is the other one? The one with the weird hair?" she asked in surprise.

"Don't worry about him. He'll show up again." He needed a cigarette now. He quickly lit one and sucked the warm smoke into his lungs.

Soon, the market came into view. Now he knew why the owner had sent his daughter with him and hadn't simply told him the way: If he had been alone, he would just have run past it.

The market consisted only of four roughly assembled sheds. The old wood had been repaired in many places or was stuffed with fabrics, so that the wind didn't whistle into the sheds. The girl knocked the curtain aside and Sanji stepped in behind her. Immediately the scent of food hit his nose. There seemed to be a handful of people in the shed who had partially disposed themselves of their warm clothes. The girl also unwrapped her scarf, opened her coat and stuffed the scarf into her oversized sleeves. It was a bit warmer than outside, the reason for this being a small fire flickering in the middle of the shed, where a handful of people were warming themselves.

He opened his coat to let the heat flow faster to his frozen limbs, but left his hood on. Only then did he remember that his prostheses were now very obviously visible – but the warmth was just too good to close his coat again.

He let his gaze wander over the market. Or what else this was called: The few stalls here were only half full with goods. Most of it was fish, probably freshly caught at sea. A couple of Marines went back and forth between the stalls, their swords strapped to their sides, but they didn't seem to be here to cause trouble. Sanji pushed his hood into his face even more.

He approached one of the stalls and inspected the goods. The fish looked good, silvery shiny and fresh, but the rest of the selection was rather sparse and he looked down at Evie, who was staring hungrily at the laid out merchandise. Quietly, he negotiated with the seller of the stand and bought a dozen redfish. He would have liked to buy some vegetables too, but the trader had just a small basket filled with them. It was probably not that easy to grow something in a place as cold as this one. But there was also the possibility of building greenhouses or import from other islands. Something was wrong here.

He glanced nervously at the soldiers, but they hadn't noticed him at all.

He took two paper-wrapped fish from his package and handed them to Evie. She stared at him with wide eyes.

"For me?" she asked hesitantly. He nodded and a smile spread on her face.

Suddenly, he heard noise from outside. A cold breeze blew through the shed as the fabric at the entrance was pulled to the side and his breath quickened. Over a dozen Marines stormed the market, all armed with swords. Damn it – Zoro had disappeared somewhere, just like the rest of the crew. He was on his own.

"Let's run away!" Evie pulled on his hand, but he stayed in place. Outside, only more soldiers would be waiting for them, if they tried to escape, they were putting themselves into great danger. He had no choice but to fight.

"Hide yourself somewhere and only come out again when I tell you!"

She looked at him wide-eyed, but then she nodded and scurried back and forth between the abandoned stalls until she disappeared between some wooden boxes.

"It's Blackleg Sanji!" one of the soldiers shouted.

"That means the Straw Hats are on the island! Get reinforcements!"

Shit! That was the last thing he needed. He had to defeat them as fast as possible and then make a run for it. He raised his right prosthesis and kicked the soldier closest to him in the stomach, then whirled around and kicked the Denden Mushi out of the hand of another one who was about to call for help. Swords whirred through the air and tried to cut him, but he stooped and dodged them as he swept low over the ground with one leg and brought down several soldiers. The swords clanked over his head and he kicked out in both directions. The pained screams told him he had hit them, blood spurted but he felt no pain as it wasn't his, the blades of his prostheses shining red.

The next time he looked up, only a handful of soldiers remained, clasping their swords with white knuckles. His legs trembled, but the adrenaline pumped through his veins and rushed loudly in his ears. He jumped up, swung into a handstand and kicked out without regard for casualties, feeling the impact of his opponents as his prostheses hit their outstretched hands or their torsos, which they tried to protect with their swords, all of it bouncing off him.

Suddenly, there was silence. His breathing was heavy and his chest ached.

He heard voices outside.

"Evie? Where are you?"

She stepped out of her hiding place. Her eyes widened when she saw the massacre around him. He didn't waste a second glance at the bodies as he grabbed her small, calloused hand and hurried through the ripped down curtain, out onto the street and into the next alley.

His heart didn't stop to beat wildly. He had underestimated his own destructive power. Several marines pursued them, but he took Evie in his arms and sprinted on. The ice-covered road was slippery under the metal of his prostheses, but he did focus on not falling and soon the distance between them and their pursuers was so great that he was able to shake them off and hide in a backyard.

He let the girl slide to the ground, gasping for breath, his hands on his knees. His hair hung in his face, drops of ice on the tips. Only now did he feel the cold. His skin was wet with sweat and he was freezing. With trembling hands he closed his coat, wrapped the scarf around his face, and pulled the hood over his head.

Evie shifted uneasily from one leg to the other.

"We have to go back quickly!" she urged him on. "Your friends are in danger!"

Danger? Why-

Oh no. The Marines now knew that he wasn't alone and would search the island for the others. But he had no idea where the others were, so how could he find them? First he should return to Franky and Usopp. He hoped they were still where he left them.

He nodded, lifting her onto his arm again and started running.

* * *

Sanji was lost.

At least Zoro was convinced that is was the cook who had suddenly taken the wrong route and had now disappeared, along with the little girl. Couldn't he even walk in a straight line? Zoro on the other hand was on the direct way to the market. It had to be somewhere here. If only the roads weren't so complicated!

He pulled the scarf tighter around his face. How could the inhabitants of this city live here? It was freezing cold! His shoes were slowly soaked by the wet snow and he hadn’t felt his toes for a while. The streets had gradually become narrower and he had the feeling that he was moving more and more away from the center of the city. And thus also away from the crew and from-

Damn, he was worried about the curly brow. He would never admit it in front of the others, but he had no problem admitting it to himself. In the last few days, he had spent a lot of time admitting some things – that it wasn't just guilt that kept him close to Sanji. That he had felt the echo of it in his fingertips hours after he had touched him.

He was torn between the desire to occupy more of his time and the need to throw him overboard. Most of the time he just didn't understand him. He felt guilty for having hurt him fatally and took the ability to fight from him, but Sanji rather cared about what he _looked like_. As if that was important. He couldn't choose his appearance, but he could choose his strength. That was all that mattered to him. Why couldn't Sanji understand that?

Suddenly, he heard voices close by. His hand slid silently to his swords and he paused to keep the snow from crunching under his boots. He could sense that there were several people, just behind the corner of the house where he was. Two men and a woman.

"-not enough," he heard one of the two men say.

"I'm sorry!" the woman whispered, as if she was afraid to be heard. Zoro frowned and listened. "I have no more. But next month-"

"That's too late!" the man interrupted. "You know what happens if you don't pay the installments on time."

"Please, it's not my child's fault!"

"Like mother, like child. You're all the same, living at the expense of the World Government and not being able to pay it back! We helped you enough, so finally do something for it!"

Zoro stepped out from behind the corner of the house. Whatever was going on here, he could no longer listen in silence.

The hand on his swords clenched as he saw the scene in front of him: The two men were dressed in the Marines’ uniform and whirled around, their eyes wide as they recognized him. The woman held her hands protectively in front of her stomach and he realized that she was pregnant. With his thumb, he pushed one of his katana a few inches out of the sheath. What kind of bastards threatened a defenseless woman?

"Oh shit, shit! Call for reinforcements!"

The men frantically pulled out their Denden-Mushi, but Zoro darted to them and cut it in two pieces before they could even set up a connection. Useless, it fell on the ground.

"What's going on?" The two marines were hopelessly inferior to him, they were only small fry without rank. He enjoyed the fear in their eyes and grinned nastily. "Shouldn't the Marines defend justice? Instead, you lurk around in alleyways harassing this woman."

The soldiers swallowed noticeably, but one of them made the mistake of answering.

"It is her own fault! She doesn't want to pay her debt, so we have to convince her-"

Zoro's katana cut through the air and the soldier broke off. His comrade cried out in fear and fled.

Zoro let it happen. It was nice to wipe out some weak Marines now and then, but the real fun only began when he faced a worthy opponent.

He turned around to the woman.

She was gone.

Crap, why did people always disappear? He had wanted to ask her for directions.

* * *

Sanji's breath was heavy as he scurried down the street and the business of Evie's father finally came into view. The windows had been smashed in and he saw black tracks on the walls, presumably coming from a rifle.

"Daddy!" She struggled in his arms and he set her down. Immediately, she tried to run to the house, but he held her back.

"Wait! There might still be soldiers in there!"

"But daddy!" She tugged at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Where is he? Is he hurt? I have to go to him!"

Sanji felt anger boil up in him. It seemed as if the Marines had no regards for anything – neither for this man's property nor for the old man himself.

"Don't go in." He pulled her behind him. "I'll check."

As he walked through the doorway, he saw the whole chaos. The shelves had been torn off the walls, the contents scattered all over the floor. In one corner, two marines were lying on top of each other, unconscious or dead. Glass splinters from the windows covered the floor and he walked cautiously around them. The curtain behind which Evie had emerged less than an hour ago had been knocked down and was now lying in a crumpled pile next to the door. His heart pounded faster as he approached the passage and peered cautiously around the corner.

"Sanji! What happened?"

Franky came up to him.

It was a small living room with a low bed, a cupboard and a table with only one chair he was entering now. On the bed lay the old man, Evie's father.

"Dad!" The girl had obviously followed him, now she ran around him and crying threw herself on the bed of her father, who shakily lifted a hand and caressed her head.

"You’d better tell me what happened to you," Sanji said. Usopp had a cut on his cheek and Franky's hairstyle was destroyed. He pushed his nose and after three seconds he wore his old hair again.

"The Marines suddenly barged in." Franky shrugged. "Maybe they discovered the Sunny in the bay."

Sanji looked at the old man whose eyes closed exhausted at Franky's words. He did not seem too badly injured, but a small trickle of blood ran from his temple. It was better if Chopper looked at it.

"Let's go back to the Sunny," he said.

"But what if the Marines comes back?" Franky interjected. "They just attacked out of nowhere. When we're gone, Mark and the kid won't stand a chance!"

The old man, Mark apparently, stood up shakily.

"You don't have to worry about me-" he began, suddenly holding his head.

"This wound could be dangerous." Especially for an old man like him, Sanji thought silently. He was far from being a Samaritan, but Mark had been only kind to them, even though he was a bit of an oddball. Luffy wouldn't approve if they just left him here.

"Sanji is right!" Franky ignored the old man's protests and hoisted him up.

"That's really not necessary-"

Usopp hopped from one leg to the other, peering nervously out the window.

"Dad, please!"

Evie stared wide-eyed at her father. Sanji felt like he had missed something.

Mark sighed and then gave up.

"All right then. For your sake."

Together they set off. Sanji and Evie went ahead while Franky followed them. Usopp crept behind them, cautiously kicking around the shards in the sales room. Outside, silence greeted them, only the soft whistling of the icy wind hissing around their ears.

His legs hurt. The torrent of his blood had slowly subsided and his breathing gradually calmed, leaving white clouds in the cold air. Suddenly, a little hand reached for his. Evie looked up at him, bearing an unidentifiable expression. Something between pity and ... regret? Quickly, he looked away.

"Sanji!" Usopp caught up to him. "You're bleeding!"

Bullshit. He wasn't hurt, otherwise he would already have felt it-

And yet – he looked down at himself and then at the path he had taken, at the freshly fallen snow they had trampled – red drops dotted their path. His left leg throbbed.

"We should quickly get to Chopper," he said, more for the others than for himself. Chopper was not even on the ship, but there was no point in looking for him. It was too cold for that and they would only get noticed more. The crew would return soon, since it was the usual time for dinner and nobody would want to miss that.

"First we should bandage that." Franky pointed to his thigh, over which the fabric had already darkened. "Otherwise we'll lead the Marines directly to our ship."

Sanji nodded and waited patiently while Usopp used his scarf to bandage the wound provisionally. Meanwhile, the wind hit his skin sharply and he was glad when Usopp dropped the trouser leg.

They hurried to continue their walk.

It was not long before the Sunny came into view. The sun was just setting on the horizon and dipped the sail in hues of orange and purple. Sanji climbed onto the deck, ignoring the stabbing pain in his leg.

Mark and Evie followed hesitantly.

"This is a pirate ship?" Evie asked, half excited, half awed, and Sanji felt proud for a brief moment.

"Sanji!" Chopper came towards him and widened his eyes when he noticed his limping. "What happened? Are you hurt! Come on, let me see!"

Sanji reached out and caught him. Only then did the little doctor realize that he hadn't come alone.

"Who's that?"

"Guests. These two need a doctor urgently," Sanji answered the last question, ignoring the others. Evie stared at Chopper with wide eyes and he wondered why for a moment, until he remembered that it was not normal to hear a reindeer suddenly speak. He was just too used to the craziness in this crew. "Don't worry." He smiled at her. "Chopper is the best doctor there is."

"You idiot! That doesn't make me happy at all!" Chopper shouted, wiggling around.

Together, they went below deck and into the infirmary, leaving the cold behind them. Immediately, he was struck by the strong smell of antiseptics and herbs that he had memorized in the long time he had spent here. Chopper would kill him if he lit a cigarette, so he shuffled his weight from one foot to the other. His knees were still aching, but he didn't let it show. At least he hoped Chopper didn't notice. He had no desire to get his head bitten off.

Chopper examined the wound on the old man's head and then reached for a cotton ball.

"What happened?" Chopper asked again, giving him a look that made it clear he was expecting an answer this time.

Sanji shrugged. He desperately needed a cigarette.

"We were attacked." He pulled the chair to him and let himself sink down in relief. Chopper frowned worriedly, but said nothing.

"By whom?"

"Marines. Not very strong, but I was separated from the others..." He let the sentence fade away. It sounded so terribly weak in his ears, to admit that he had had trouble fighting some annoying marines just because he had been alone. He opened his coat and slid it from his shoulders, he didn't need it in here anymore, and he would warm up much faster if he didn't wear the cold material of the coat.

Chopper nodded and dabbed the cotton ball soaked in disinfectant onto the wound. Mark winced and his daughter grabbed his hand.

"Is he okay?" she asked. "Will he be well again?"

Chopper smiled at her.

"Don't worry, the wound isn't deep and should heal soon." He put a band-aid on it and then fastened a bandage around the man's head before turning back to her. "You aren't hurt?"

She shook her head.

"No, I was just ... scared."

She unwound the scarf with one hand and then opened her coat to let the heat in.

" _Ah_ , your hand! This must be treated immediately!" Chopper suddenly called frantically and rummaged around in his drawers. Evie chuckled.

"Silly! That's already healed."

Chopper paused.

"Oh. Then ... you had that for a longer time?"

"Since about four months. It doesn't hurt anymore."

Sanji took the chance to ask the question which had weighed heavily on his mind for a while.

"How did that happen?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

The girl faltered. The smile vanished from her face and she backed away from him.

"It ... was an accident." Sanji looked at her. The way she said it, it had been anything but that.

"What kind of accident?"

The girl hesitated and then opened her mouth, but her father intervened.

"It's not important. What happened has happened." He turned to Chopper. "We should go now. Thank you for your help, Mr. Reindeer."

Chopper rubbed his head in embarrassment.

"My name is Tony Tony Chopper."

"Then thank you, Tony."

"Hey hey hey, wait a minute! It's too dangerous out there now!" Sanji jumped up and took a sharp breath, his knees were aching painfully.

"The Marines won't harm us. We're just normal citizens, not pirates."

That was quite a low blow – Sanji had to pull himself together not to slap the guy.

"It certainly didn't look like that! You're hurt and they've chased Evie as much as me."

Mark smiled weakly.

"I just got in the way and as for my daughter, that was just a misunderstanding. It happens."

With that, Mark pushed past him. The girl hurried after him, but Sanji didn't miss the moment in which she cast one last look back before she disappeared with him onto the deck.

Chopper came up next to him and stared after them at the stairs over which they had disappeared.

"He didn't sound very worried," he said.

Sanji thought back to the moment he saw the girl for the first time. Mark had sounded so desperate when he had begged for the prosthesis for her, but then he had also slipped that he was especially worried that she couldn't work. And now he went back into the lion's den – could it be an accident that the Marines had caught him and chased his daughter along with him? Even if it had not happened on purpose, why hadn't he seen even a hint of concern in his eyes?

Chopper tapped him.

"No more excuses," he said sternly, but his eyes were moist. "I can see you are in pain, so let me treat you!" Sanji sighed and let himself be examined.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments for the last chapter :3
> 
> Also, warning for this chapter: Mentions of homophobia.  
> The voiced opinions are not my own ...

Frustrated, Zoro shuffled towards the kitchen. This city was a labyrinth and to make matters worse somebody had anchored the Sunny in a different bay than before, so it took him hours to find it again. The sun had almost completely set. He was hungry and thirsty. He could only hope that the cook had less difficulty finding the ship and had cooked something to eat.

He opened the door that led to the kitchen and found the room behind it empty. Zoro frowned. Had Sanji not returned yet? There was something wrong with this city, he could feel it. He crossed the kitchen and opened the door to the pantry, hoping to find him there. But nobody was there, too. Now he worried. He had heard shots a while back, and then there was this strange situation with the pregnant woman, not to mention the goddamn cold.

Taking a bottle of sake off the shelf, he turned back just to run into someone.

"Be careful-"

"Are you looking for Mr. Cook?" Robin gave him a small smile. Zoro glared angrily at her, but before he could reply she was already talking. "He's at Chopper's now and getting patched up."

"What?" Zoro almost dropped the sake. "What happened?"

"The Marines probably got wind of us being here and he got caught in the middle of the crossfire. But don't worry, he's only slightly injured..."

Zoro didn't listen to her anymore, he hurried out of the kitchen and onto the deck, skipping every other step. The door to the infirmary was closed. He ran there, fearing the worst, and tore it open.

Sanji sat on the bed and looked up in alarm as he stormed in. His prostheses were lying on the blanket next to him. Chopper was fixing the bandages around his thigh.

"What are you doing here? Get out!" Sanji yelled hastily, throwing himself forward and trying to cover his legs.

"What's going on?" Chopper asked worriedly, staring at him with wide eyes. "Are we under attack again?"

Zoro licked his upper lip and looked back and forth between them.

"No, everything is okay. Everything is good. No attack."

"Marimo ... don't you see you're intruding?" Sanji grumbled. Zoro ignored him and stepped in front of him.

"How did that happen?" he asked, holding out a hand as if to touch him. Sanji jerked back and sent him a warning look.

"I stumbled and a bullet happened to lie around there – what do you think what happened? I ran into the Marine and one of them got me." Sanji had given up trying to hide his legs and leaned back against the wall. "It was just a graze. Nothing bad."

So while he was trying to escape the maze of streets, the cook had run for his life. Fuck.

"Luckily, you were able to shake them off."

Sanji shrugged.

"I beat the first few, but I had to watch out for the little one. That's why I ran away."

Zoro paused.

"You beat them?"

Sanji nodded.

"With ... with your legs?"

Sanji paused. Then he looked to the side where the two prostheses still lay. The bottom halves were dirty from the road, but the blades were shiny with blood. Zoro watched him without saying anything. Apparently he hadn't thought too much about what had happened. Zoro knew that feeling – those situations where thinking was not possible and the body simply did what needed to be done. Even pain was felt later, when you could afford to feel it.

"Sanji!" Chopper looked at him disapprovingly. "You know that you shouldn't overexert yourself like that!"

"What else should I’ve done? Let me get sliced up by them?"

Choppers eyes got wet and he hung his head.

"No, but..." He sniffed.

"It's all right, Chopper." Zoro dropped one of his big hands on his head and ruffled his fur. "You treated him well, didn't you?" Chopper nodded. "Would it be all right if you left us alone for a moment?"

Chopper hesitated, but then nodded.

Zoro waited until Chopper was out of earshot and sat down beside the cook on the bed. Sanji pulled one of the prostheses close to him and began to put it on. Zoro put a hand on his arm and Sanji paused.

"What do you want?" he finally mumbled.

Zoro looked at him searchingly.

"Are you really not hurt badly?"

Sanji snatched his arm away.

"What's all the fuss about? I'll be fine." Zoro's hand still was in the air and he hesitated before he lowered it. Meanwhile, Sanji lit a cigarette. He closed his eyes as he took the first drag and Zoro averted his eyes. His body had been going crazy lately and that was the wrong moment to think about those things.

"You shouldn't have been on your own. I'm sorry we got separated-"

"What's all this bullshit?" Sanji whirled around. "I thought you wanted me to learn to fight again!"

"But you're not there yet!" Zoro knew he was going too far and his emotions were running wild, but at that moment he didn't care.

"The Marines don’t care about that – it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not, either I resist them and _fight_ or I kick the bucket!"

"But I care!"

Breathing heavily, Sanji paused. Zoro blinked, only then did he realize what he'd said.

"We can't afford to lose you. The others could never forgive themselves," he finally said.

Sanji frowned in confusion.

"Wait a minute..." he began slowly. "Are you blaming yourself again for something you couldn't prevent?"

"I should have taken better care of you-"

"You aren't my nanny!" Sanji snapped. "Your sense of direction is really shitty, but you can't help it. And even if you could, it would happen sooner or later that I'm running around alone somewhere. Or we get separated in the fight, for all I know. Either way, if someone hurts me, or if someone kills me, _that's not your fault_. Roger that?"

Zoro shook his head.

"If I’d been there-"

"But you weren't!" Sanji interrupted. "I have to take care of myself alone. Otherwise you can leave me right here on this island and go on sailing without me."

Zoro raised his head in alarm.

"Don't say that."

"Then stop babbling such nonsense."

He would have liked to proceed to talk back, but he knew the cook was stubborn as a mule. And he also knew that he was somehow right, but that didn't make it easier to erase the small flame of guilt that had flared up inside him.

"Something strange happened to me when I was in town," he began instead and moved closer to him. Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess: The streets moved on their own?"

Zoro punched him in the side.

"Shut up and listen." Sanji looked like he wanted to say something, so he kept talking fast. "When I was looking for you," Sanji grinned, "I've seen something strange."

"You already said that."

"Shut it. Anyway, there was some Marines and a woman." Now the cook suddenly looked a lot more attentive, as Zoro noted annoyed. Was it important if it was a man or a woman? The fact was that she had been defenseless. "They wanted money from her, I don't know why. Anyway, she didn't have it and ... they threatened her. I don't know what exactly they were going to do with her, but she seemed to be scared."

"Those bastards!" Sanji clenched his hands into fists. "Did you kill them?"

Zoro nodded.

"There is something wrong here ... I can feel it," he continued. "This city is poor, everyone immediately notices that, but then there was this girl who lost her hand and this woman."

"Damn it! If I had been there, I would have fought those bastards!" Sanji gritted his teeth. "To behave this way towards a lady!"

Now it was time for Zoro to roll his eyes.

"It doesn't bother you so much what happened there, but rather that someone threatened a woman, right?" he snapped. Couldn't the cook just not think with his dick for a moment?

"Of course that bothers me! Women deserve to be worshipped and protected!"

"How can you adore a woman if you don't even trust her to protect herself?" He knew that the cook was a hopeless case regarding women, but for some reason it ticked him off even more today. Sanji looked at him in confusion, apparently he didn't really know what he meant. "What about Nami? Or Robin? They can protect themselves well without us – how can you adore them if you don't give them any credit?"

Sanji frowned in confusion.

"That's something completely different! Of course I know they _can_ defend themselves, but they shouldn’t _have_ to do it! What if they hurt themselves? If they get scars?" he added with horror in his voice.

Zoro slapped his hand against his forehead.

"You're such a nutcase," he sighed. "Did you ever pick up a girl with this attitude? Or are you just hovering at their feet and panting at them from down there?"

Sanji went red to the tips of his ears.

"How – you can't ask me something like that!"

"Why?" Zoro shrugged. "It's just normal talk between men!"

"I would never abuse a lady's confidence and tell her about my romantic night!" he shouted indignantly.

"So you did? Or you didn't?"

Sanji gritted his teeth and looked away.

"No. Not yet," he finally admitted sheepishly. Zoro grinned widely.

"Seriously?" He laughed. "You make a fool of yourself for every woman and don't even get a _shot_? Or is it just a facade and you dig guys in reality?"

All color drained from Sanji's face, until it returned all at once and he stared at him with a bright red head. Inwardly, Zoro swallowed, he didn't know what had made him say that. A part of him probably just wanted to test the shores.

"What the hell? I'm definitely not one of those – those nasty guys who dress and paint their faces like women-"

"Woah, hold your breath!" Zoro raised his hands defensively. He had not expected that he would flip out like this. "I only wanted to make fun of you!"

"You shouldn't make fun of something like that!"

"Even if you were, that doesn't mean that you would dress like a woman! Where did you hear such a thing?"

"Believe me, I've seen a lot in the last two years." Sanji visibly shivered.

"Well ... I didn't mean it like that. Man, didn't know you were that sensitive." Zoro rolled his eyes and rubbed his short green hair. He just wanted to make a joke and now the mood was so tense.

Sanji looked away, arms crossed nervously in front of his body.

"I can – I just can't understand something like that. Why do guys dress like women or why do they want to be loved by another man...?"

That struck home. Zoro tried not to let it show.

"Why are you even interested in that? Just let them live as they want."

"I'm not interested at all!" Sanji looked at him shocked, as if he had just implied something terrible. "It's just..." He paused and Zoro had the impression that he was about to overcome something. Sanji shrugged and avoided his gaze. "All right, I'll tell you. But don't you dare to tell anyone!" he threatened. "At that time, during those two years when we were all separated from each other, I learned my new technique under Ivankov."

Zoro listened, confused. What did that have to do with it?

"Ivankov is ... a bit special. He's damn strong and I've learned a lot from him, but," this time Sanji blushed to the roots of his hair and Zoro had to suppress a grin. No matter what happened, seeing Sanji outside of his element would always entertain him, "he's a real freak. He can transform himself into a woman because of his devil's fruit, but even as a man he dresses like a woman – as if he wanted to be one. And he has a bunch of followers who're just like him. I spent two years on this island," he continued in agony, "the sight of these ... transvestites has burned itself into my mind, but I just don't get it."

Zoro was silent for a long while. He could hear Luffy romp around on the deck. Even in the cold, he was exuberant. This topic seemed important to Sanji, he just wondered why. Of course it was unusual, he himself had never met anyone who was apparently dissatisfied with the gender into which they were born. But he didn't care. What other people did didn't interest him, as long as they didn't threaten him or anyone close to him they could do whatever they wanted.

"We’re also different than most people," he finally broke the unpleasant silence. "We're pirates who risk their lives every day for a goal that may be impossible."

Sanji snorted.

"You’re seriously comparing our dreams with the girly behavior of these trannies?" he asked derisively.

"I'm just saying that you should let everyone live the way they want. If you find that outrageous, then-"

"Then what? Why are you defending these guys anyway?"

Zoro opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say. He wasn’t like the people the cook had described, but Sanji wouldn't recognize that difference. He clenched his teeth and got up from the bed.

"Forget it, curly brow," he said, putting his hands in his pockets and hurrying out of the hospital room.

He was heading up to the crow's nest to train his bad temper away, but he had barely come up the stairs and onto the deck when Robin stopped him, holding a thick book under her arm.

"We'll meet in the kitchen in a few minutes," she said. "I found out something interesting about the islands."

Zoro looked at her in confusion.

"Why about the islands? Didn't you want to find out something about this guy?"

Robin smiled. Zoro hated that smile, he always had the feeling that she knew more than she admitted.

"That's the interesting thing," she said. "When I did my research about him, I found some information about these islands here."

Zoro's eyes widened in surprise. Did the guy have anything to do with the islands? He waited for her to continue, but when she still hadn't elaborated after a while he said, annoyed, "Care to explain? Do I have to worm everything out of your nose?" Sanji would kill him if he heard how he talked to his rose or whatever he called her, but at the moment he didn't give a shit about the curly bastard.

"All in good time," Robin said mysteriously and turned away from him. "Be in the kitchen in five minutes," she said without turning back to him and headed up the stairs to the kitchen.

Zoro stared after her, apparently everyone had decided to pick on him today. Grumbling, he shuffled to the mast and put his foot on the first rope that led up to the crow's nest, but then stopped. He wanted to know what Robin had to announce, even if she made a bigger secret out of it than was necessary. Besides, after the running and the unnecessary shock of Sanji's injury he was hungry, and at least there would be something to eat in the kitchen.

Shit. With a bad mood he made his way to the kitchen.

Half the crew was already assembled, Luffy sat at the end of the table as usual, along with Usopp, Chopper, Nami, and Robin, who smiled at him quietly as he plopped down between Chopper and Usopp onto the bench.

"So what's this great thing you found out?" he griped, but of course it was never easy with Robin.

"Wait until everyone is here," she said just as Sanji came into the kitchen. The cook limped slightly, and Zoro's eyes immediately flickered to the injury, which he knew was hidden under his pants.

"Wouldn't it be better if you used the wheelchair, Sanji?" Nami interrupted his train of thought. "I heard you were hurt."

Sanji faltered for a moment before he regained his composure. It was only for a fraction of a second, but while the others talked normally and apparently hadn't noticed, Zoro didn't miss the way something flashed briefly in Sanji's eyes.

"It's not as bad as it looks, just a scratch, Nami-chan! But thanks for worrying about me, it's like my wounds heal a lot faster!"

Zoro rolled his eyes, Sanji would probably still say the same thing on his deathbed. Then he remembered that it was not so long ago that he had actually come close to death and the thought vanished very quickly.

Sanji stalked past him, ignoring him, and opened the fridge. Gradually, the rest of the crew members strolled into the kitchen and when Brook sat down as the last one Sanji was just putting several plates full of sandwiches on the table. Zoro quickly grabbed two before Luffy could snatch them with his greedy hands and stared at Robin as if to say, _Well? Now spill!_

"Whaff haff you found out, Robin?" Luffy now asked with his mouth full. Sanji slapped him on the back of the head, causing Luffy to almost spit out the food – which would probably have gotten him into even more trouble.

Robin looked seriously around the room and what she said made everyone's breath stop like the snap of a whip.

"There is a connection between the officer pursuing us and this island."

"What?" Zoro jumped up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Calm down, idiot!" the cook grumbled. "And let Robin-chan speak!"

"The first thing I found out was his name," Robin continued unperturbed, though she frowned slightly. "His name is Charles Vane."

The unimpressed looks of the crew clearly showed that no one knew what to do with this name. Only Nami looked a little worried.

"The name sounds familiar to me," she said slowly.

"That’s no surprise," Brook said, tapping his forehead thoughtfully. "The Vanes come from a long dynasty of senior marine officers; some of them have been even higher in rank, if I'm not mistaken."

Sometimes it was easy to forget how old Brook actually was. Actually, the idea that he had once been a normal person and not a talking and singing skeleton was even stranger.

"So this Vane is one of them?" Nami interjected.

"So what? It doesn't matter what's the guy's name or who his father and grandfather were! How can we defeat him? That's important!"

Honestly, why did Robin always have to complicate everything?

"If you're not more polite to Robin-swan, I'll teach you some manners!" Sanji glared at him from his seat and Zoro felt the anger boil up inside him again.

"I'll talk to her like I want, you got that, cook? If it bothers her, she can tell me herself!"

"You-"

"It's okay." Robin put a hand on the cook's arm, which immediately silenced him. Such a wimp. "As I just said, there is a connection between Vane and this island." She paused. Zoro was almost bursting with impatience. "Vane has been stationed by the Marines on this island."

Immediately, there was an uproar. Zoro put a hand on his swords, as if Vane would storm through the door at any moment and attack them. Everyone talked simultaneously, Usopp complained to Chopper who tried to hide behind Luffy. But his eyes were on Sanji. Any color had left his face. The sandwich he'd been trying to bite into was forgotten in his hand, his eyes were distant. Zoro could easily guess what he thought of. He wanted to reach out and say something – but there was still this thing he had told him earlier. This bastard. How could one be mad at someone and also want to turn back time?

"So he's here," Luffy interrupted the noise. Gradually, it became quieter, only Usopp's chattering teeth could be heard. Robin nodded.

"Maybe it was just coincidence that we met him at sea. It's just as possible that he didn't follow us at all, but that we only met him by chance because we were near his territory," she mused, but Zoro wasn’t convinced. Vane had known exactly what he was doing.

"Either way, he knows we're close. He will certainly look for us," Nami said.

"Robin." Luffy looked at her. "What else did you find out?"

Robin put a hand on the book she had brought.

"This book tells the story of the archipelago of Os," she began, opening the book. She flipped a few pages until she had found the appropriate one. "The story is not long yet. It was only a few hundred years ago that it was populated. The current inhabitants are the descendants of a small people who were looking for a new hometown – but there was nowhere where they were welcome." Robin's fingers glided over the old paper of the book as she told them the story. The table had become quiet. "For years, they roamed and traveled each ocean. But without success. The existing land was already occupied by others and the inhabitants there were suspicious. That's why they went to the Marines."

"To the Marines?"

"How come?"

"They expected help," Robin replied. "And they received it, too. The Marines still had land that was not yet inhabited by anyone. So they gave it to these people and they have lived here on these islands ever since."

"The people didn't seem so happy to me here," Franky finally remarked.

"It's better than nothing," Nami interjected. "Imagine that you have no place you can call home. You wouldn't say no, no matter how cold it is!"

"Why didn't they just become pirates?" Luffy's seemed to be confused.

"There weren't as many pirates as today. It's just because of Gol D. Roger that the age of the pirates has begun."

"I think the Sunny is our home. We don't need an island for that! Especially not one that is so cold!"

Zoro smiled, that was so typical of Luffy. He was alarmingly simple, but why make things more complicated than they were? He noticed that Sanji shifted restlessly in his chair, chewing nervously on his lower lip. He would have liked to put his hand on Sanji’s, but he knew that such a gesture wouldn't go down well.

"So," Usopp finally said to Luffy, "what's the plan now?"

"We have to be careful!" Nami said, but Luffy grinned widely.

"We'll beat him up!"

Zoro watched Sanji, who still hadn't made a sound. But then he suddenly looked up and he hurried to look elsewhere.

* * *

Sanji lit the fourth cigarette in a row. The night was already deep black and he leaned against the rail and stared out at the sea. The moon reflected faintly on the surface of the water, broken only occasionally by a passing fish. It had become quiet on the ship a while ago; the others were already sleeping soundly. He had not even tried to lie down in his hammock. He was just too agitated.

He hadn't wanted to argue with Zoro. But somehow this dumb mosshead had a way of making him frequently livid. And then he wanted to know something as intimate as whether he was a virgin and then had the audacity to ask him if he belonged to these gays!

Sanji shuddered. He respected Ivankov, he really did. But only because he was damn strong, maybe even stronger than he was. He had learned fucking much from him – without him he might not have made it in the New World. But everything else about him was repulsive to him. He blew the smoke out through his nose and tried to suppress the surge of nausea that well up in him, badly shaved legs and too much make-up on a clearly male face, gaudily painted fingernails and fishnet tights – how could Zoro even hint at something like that? It had been a joke. Of course it had, but you shouldn't joke about something like that. Even if they were constantly arguing, their taunts had never slipped so far below the belt.

Why was that an issue at all? Neither he nor Zoro liked guys, that was crystal clear. Zoro downright exuded masculinity. But why had he suddenly been in such a hurry and bailed? Why did he defend these people? As far as he knew, Zoro didn't know anybody who was like that. So why?

His cigarette had reached the end and he pushed the stub out before he threw it into the sea. All of this thinking was for nothing. He had jumped over his shadow once and he would do it a second time.

He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and went below deck. Keen to make no noise – which wasn't so easy if you had metal on your feet instead of rubber soles – he peeked into the cabin and let his eyes wander to the hammock in which Zoro lay.

Usually.

Where was the bastard if you wanted to apologize to him? Even if he did not know what for exactly.

Softly, he closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Let's see, where else could he be? Usopp had the first watch, so he probably wouldn't be there. His next guess was the kitchen.

He went up the two stairs and opened the kitchen door, but the room was deserted. But the door to the pantry was open by a crack. With long strides he crossed the kitchen and threw open the door, convinced of catching Zoro during a nocturnal drinking session.

Silence awaited him. Well, wasn't this too boring.

He wanted to apologize to him and this idiot was nowhere to be found! He was almost tempted to just go to sleep. After all, he could still apologize the next day. He closed the door to the pantry, and hung the lock back which he had placed there a while back to keep Luffy from munching through all the shelves.

He left the kitchen and went out to the deck, but as he turned to the stairs that would lead him down and into the cabin, he hesitated. Was it really advisable to postpone his apology for so long? It would only be harder for him on the next day. He probably would not be able to shut his eyes anyway.

All right then. He would search another room. If he didn't find him then, he’d consider it fate and would go to sleep. But where should he search?

Following an inspiration, he turned to the aquarium. No sound came from the room. It could well be that he would surprise Robin, who often read late into the night. Indecisively, he stood at the door, but finally raised his hand and tapped lightly against the wood.

Nobody answered.

He opened the door a crack and peered through it. Blue light emanated from the large aquarium, whose front occupied one side of the room. His eyes moved to the couch.

Zoro sat there, his back turned to him. In his hand he held a bottle of sake – the good one, as Sanji immediately noticed. He was already set to chew him out because of that, but just managed to hold back. He was here to apologize, not to start another fight.

"What do you want?" Zoro asked, when he still hadn't said anything after a minute.

Sanji swallowed. He entered and closed the door behind him.

"I wanted to talk to you." The injury on his leg throbbed and he crossed the room and sat next to Zoro, who still didn't look at him. "Give me something, too."

Zoro held out the bottle silently and Sanji took a long drink and then another. The sake slid softly down his throat and gave him, as he hoped, a bit more courage. He started to speak before it left him.

"I wanted to apologize," he began. Zoro's back stiffened. "I'm not sure why you're so upset, but ... I'm sorry I made you angry. So – um – sorry."

"Seriously?" Zoro finally turned to him. His eyes flashed angrily. "You don't know why I reacted that way? With the crap you've spouted?"

Sanji stared at him in confusion.

"I have – I just said my opinion!"

"If that's your opinion, you can shove your apology up your ass!" Zoro snapped.

"Why are you so mad? We have a lot of different opinions, but because of something so unimportant you flip out like that? It doesn't matter what I think about these guys! Why do you even bother?"

Zoro opened his mouth as if to say something – but then closed it again. Just as before in the infirmary. What was on the tip of his tongue?

"Tch, it doesn't matter. Apology accepted. It's not important." Zoro began to turn back and lifted the sake bottle, but Sanji grabbed his shoulder and forcibly turned him towards him again.

"What the hell is your pro-"

Suddenly, Zoro's mouth was on his. Sanji's eyes widened and he raised his hands to push him away, but it only took a second for Zoro to jump up as if stung by an adder and stumble back a step or two, staring at him with equally large eyes. His breath was heavy and Sanji could see the faintest hint of red on his face, which clashed terribly with his hair color, but holy shit, _Zoro had kissed him!_

Wait, was _this_ why he'd reacted that way?

As if in a trance, Sanji touched his lips, he could still feel the kiss on them like a phantom touch. Meanwhile, Zoro stomped past him with quick steps.

"Wait!" He reached out and grabbed Zoro's haramaki. Zoro's hands clenched into fists.

"Forget it."

Sanji's heart was pounding almost painfully, his mind wildly scurrying around. Was that why he was mad at him? Had he the hots for him or was he just trying to needle him, but why did he want to escape then or was he just pissed at him? How long had it been that way? Did Zoro like men?

"Please ... explain it to me," he choked out. He'd prefer it if it was just a joke and Zoro just wanted to spite him for his somewhat conservative opinion. He knew that other people thought it didn't matter if you loved men or women, but he'd never been able to accept it. It was a waste, if you didn't worship women as a man!

But if Zoro was serious-

"What should I explain to you? Or did your parents not inform you about the birds and the bees?" Zoro hissed and broke away. At least he didn't try to escape through the door anymore, but now he was really angry.

"You know exactly what I mean! What was that?" He wiped his mouth, a little late he realized. Zoro did not answer him, just stared at him as if the answer was in his fucking eyes or something. Sanji swallowed. Would now not be the best moment to laugh at him for making fun of him like that? But Zoro's gaze remained steadfast and the uneasy feeling that had formed in his stomach solidified into a heavy lump.

Sanji broke the eye contact.

The pattern under his feet reflected the blue light of the aquarium as he tried to keep his voice as calm as possible.

"Okay, then answer that question: Are you gay?"

Zoro sighed barely audible.

"Not really."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanji was irritated. "You can't kiss a guy and say you're not gay!"

"So far, I have never been interested in men." Obviously Zoro had decided to stay after all, at any rate he let himself fall on the bench next to him. Sanji suppressed the impulse to move away from him. "Actually, I've hardly had any interest in anyone so far, neither men nor women."

"But there was someone, wasn't there?" Why did he ask that? It didn't matter if Zoro had ever looked at someone or not!

Zoro rested his elbow on his knees and supported his head with his hands. He was so close to him that he could feel his body heat, less than a hand's breadth from him.

"Maybe, yes. But my dream has always been more important to me than that, so I've never thought much about it."

Sanji did not know what to answer. This was the last thing he had expected, and part of him was still convinced that the mosshead was just kidding him. But wouldn't he lay it on thicker if he wanted to convince him? This was so real, though it felt like a dream. Zoro didn’t look at him anymore, but watched as the fish flickered behind the glass. His hair was almost turquoise in the light.

A question scurried into his thoughts and he opened his mouth without thinking.

"How long?"

Zoro's shoulders slumped as if he had been afraid of the question, but he answered nonetheless.

"For a while. No idea how long, but definitely since we shared the bottle of sake."

"Everything about you is about booze, isn't it?" It slipped out of Sanji before he could stop himself. What kind of idiot was he, teasing him, as if nothing had happened? But the damage was already done, Zoro's mouth twitched and he looked over at him. Sanji's neck tingled and he involuntarily leaned back a bit.

Zoros smile fell again, but he didn't look away.

"You don't have to worry about me assaulting you at night or something. That feeling will go away by itself," he said, and that actually ignited a spark of shame in him. He quickly tried to fight it off. He hadn't thought of that. Not at all.

"Tch, as if I'm worried about you molesting me! I can fight back!" Maybe he should rather make a few jokes. That was still better than those embarrassing things he said. "Or have you already assaulted other people like that?"

Zoro grimaced.

"Not really. Honestly, I've never done that before."

Sanji paused. He did not really mean what he was thinking right now, did he? He should pull himself together, but the curiosity was just too strong.

"You – you've never kissed anyone before?" he asked incredulously, waiting for Zoro to say no. But he remained silent and Sanji noticed a red glow on his cheeks. "As if! How old are you? Twenty-one? How could anyone never have kissed someone at this age?"

"It just never happened, okay?" Zoro whirled around, his eyes flashed challenging.

"Shit," Sanji muttered. It was somehow honoring to be someone's first kiss, but Zoro's?

"You can say that again," Zoro snorted beside him. Sanji peered at him out of the corner of his eye. He felt uncomfortable in his skin, but Zoro probably didn’t feel much better. How did the idiot even got the idea of choosing him? His legs were suddenly throbbing, a pain that had barely flared up for weeks, but now returned with full intensity. Was it just some weird form of pity?

"What are you thinking right now? It can't be good." Zoro looked skeptical. Sanji bit his lip.

"Nothing."

"Don't say 'nothing' when you're clearly thinking of something!" Zoro snapped at him and Sanji jumped up and stared at him as if he had never seen him before. Zoro was sweating and the blush on his cheeks had crept to his hairline, but he was staring at him as if he were ready to take him on; but what a fight would that be – Sanji so inexperienced and so badly injured that he would never be able to compete with the best again.

"Listen." His throat felt heavy and tight. But as much as he hated the mosshead, he didn't despise him. He owed him clarity for everything he had done. "I've told you before – I don't understand how men can be like that. I don't want to understand either." It was disgusting, but he did not tell him that. "But now I understand why you're mad at me and I apologize for that." Zoro started to speak and leaned forward, but Sanji pushed him away with one hand – he was too close to him. "Let's just forget it. As you said. Okay?"

That would probably be the best for both of them. An involuntary shiver ran down his back and he wrapped his arms around his knees, feeling the metal joint under his pants. Zoro looked as if his thoughts were about to flow out through his ears, but he stoically kept silent. He should have asked him what he was thinking. Or he should have gone, anything that freed him from this crushing silence.

But this was something he owed him.

Therefore, he sat with him side by side, staring at the silvery dashing of fish behind the glass and stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, young love.  
> Let me know your thoughts about this chapter! (･∀･)
> 
> Btw, I've got a tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rejah91


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! The last chapter has been a while ago, I hope you're all still there :P

He hadn't thought he would ever volunteer for a conversation with Franky. While the rest of the crew had barricaded themselves with hot tea inside the Sunny, Sanji, Franky, Robin and Zoro had been chosen to enter the main island once again to finally get the much needed supplies. Not that Sanji had much of a choice – after all, it was his duty as a cook. Robin had come along because she wanted to find out more about the history of the island after she had found the few pieces of information. And Franky wanted to keep his promise to the girl and quickly assemble a simple prosthesis for her lost hand.

However, it was a mystery to him what the stubborn mosshead wanted on the island. But nobody had objected to it when he had wordlessly joined them. Sanji had a suspicion why he wanted to come with him, but he certainly wouldn’t mention that to Robin-chan’s delicate ears.

Of course, Robin had been his first choice regarding with whom he walked to the snow-covered city. But she had just smiled coquettishly at him and then asked him innocently, "Did you apologize to him?"

He had no idea how she knew that, but his heart dropped into his gut. If she knew about that, it was possible that everything else was no secret to her either.

"Something ... like that," he'd hesitantly pressed out and had fallen back to distract himself with Franky.

"Won't it take long to build this prosthesis for Evie?" He had been waiting for weeks for his and Franky wanted to do it in one day.

Franky pulled his sunglasses down a bit – what did he even need them for? They were all mummed so their faces weren’t recognizable. If Vane was around here, they didn’t want to alert him carelessly.

"Bro, a hand is actually much more complicated than a leg. I would need months for that!" He grinned and pushed his glasses back on his metal nose. "But unfortunately, we don't have time for that. That's why something simple is needed!" He performed a mechanical gripping motion with one of his huge hands. "Like that. Nothing complicated, no details. She should just be able to grab something. That matters a lot, believe me, bro! "

Sanji wondered when Franky had lost his hands. He had often seen him take them apart and work on them, there wasn't anything left of a human hand. Everything was just wire, blue, red and coppery, and flashing lights. Or had he voluntarily exchanged his hands for the mechanical ones? He wouldn't put that past him.

He didn’t look back, but he knew that Zoro was only a few feet behind them. He felt his eyes on his neck. They had not spoken to each other since last night and that was not what he had imagined. He wanted to forget it, but every time their eyes met by chance he had to think back on what had happened between them and _he just couldn’t deal with him like he used to_.

The mosshead couldn't either. Zoro's cheeks were glowing red as if someone had lit them up. Sanji hurried along; maybe this episode would pass as soon as they left the island behind.

Same as on their last visit the streets of the approaching city were empty. The snow which had fallen last night was still largely untouched, while the blades of his prostheses sank through the soft blanket of snow with a crunching sound. Everyone would know that he had left these traces.

They found the house of Evie and her father without any problems. The broken window hadn’t been repaired, instead, someone had hung heavy blankets in front of them to keep the wind out. Franky knocked.

The wind pulled hard at their shoulders as they waited outside. It started to snow again.

"No one there," Zoro finally muttered. "Let's go."

He turned around, but Robin raised her hand.

"Wait."

The door opened a crack. Sanji recognized Evie, staring cautiously out of the dark and then opening the door completely to let them in.

"You shouldn't have come here," she said, but closed the door behind them and stuffed one of the many blankets into the gaps. The shelves were dusty and the goods on them jumbled as if nobody had bothered to fix them.

"But I promised you!" Franky said.

Evie looked like a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, but she looked away and disappeared through the next door before anyone could see it. Franky looked worried and gave Robin a questioning look. Ultimately, the four followed the girl and Franky had to bend over so as not to bang his head against the ceiling.

They came to a small room which apparently served as kitchen and dining area at the same time. Mark was there, Chopper's bandages still around his head. Evie put water into a scratched pot while the four of them squeezed into the kitchen.

As the water began to steam, Franky tapped the girl on the shoulder.

"Let me measure your arm and your other hand."

Sanji rested his elbows on the table. Mark's cheeks were sunken and the skin under his eyes blue and tired from lack of sleep. He had been so eager to help her, but he had immediately pulled up walls at the slightest question. He wouldn’t be surprised if he threw them out on the smallest question.

Zoro leaned against the wall beside the door, his swords at hand. He couldn’t resent him for it. He too had a bad feeling. Something wasn't right here, but it was not the fear of Marines who could storm in here at any moment.

Robin sat down with the old man. His watery eyes looked at her suspiciously. Propping her chin gracefully on one of her hands, Robin bluntly asked:

"Why don't you leave this place?"

Mark drew in a sharp breath and Evie flinched, looking imploringly at her father as she continued to hold out her arm. Sanji bit his lip, trying not to speak. One wrong word, and-

"It's not possible," Evie finally said and her father stared at her as if she had just said something treacherous.

"Why not?" Robin's words were spoken with caution, casually, as if they bore no meaning.

"Evie," her father warned her. Evie ducked, but then the words shot out of her.

"We can't because we're still in debt!"

"Don't talk about it!"

"Why not?" She snatched her arm out of Franky's hands while Robin sat quietly but alertly at the table. "If we keep silent, nothing will ever change! Not in a hundred years!"

"We have no choice-"

"We always have a choice, daddy!" Tears came to her eyes and Sanji crossed the room in a few steps and pulled her into a hug. He had no idea what was happening or what the two were talking about, but he just could not watch while a young girl was crying. She clung to him, but she didn’t take her eyes off her father. "Don't you see it? This is a chance! Our chance!"

"I don't want anything to happen to you, don't you understand that?" He reached for his daughter, but she did not move a step towards him.

"Dad," Evie's hand tightened on Sanji, "it's already too late for that."

Sanji swallowed. The girl was right. No matter what he wanted to protect her from, she'd already had to pay a price. He glanced at her sleeve, her stump hidden beneath it.

Mark slumped down. Robin tapped her lips thoughtfully.

"What kind of debt?" she finally asked carefully.

Mark dropped his head between his legs, not saying a word.

"We can't talk about that," Evie whispered, looking anxiously at the window. "But it's wrong."

"Evie! If someone hears you!"

"That's why I'm whispering!"

Sanji looked at Franky and then at Robin, both of them bore a determined expression. He turned to Zoro, who was still leaning against the doorframe. Barely noticeable, he nodded to him.

"Okay." He put a hand on her shoulder. He should be damned if he left her here. "We will help you."

She looked up at him, her cheeks covered with tears, her eyes wide open.

"What-?"

Sanji smiled at her. She would surely grow into a beautiful woman some day – but not here, in this cold, brutal place.

"We'll take you on our ship! Then you can go wherever you want!"

"You will do no such thing!" Mark had jumped up, the chair he had been sitting on crashed to the floor. He was white like a ghost, pressing his hands into fists so hard that the nails dug into his palms. "If that's the price we pay for life, I'll gladly pay it! What is a hand! Or a little bit coldness! We're alive, Evie, don't you see that?"

"You're the one who sees nothing, daddy!" Evie backed away from him. "If this is life, I don't want it!"

"I have always protected you!"

"That's not true! You're just too much of a coward to risk anything!"

Mark flinched as if she had slapped him. Sanji's mouth fell open, he had not expected so much anger from the old frail man. And neither that Evie would attack her father like that.

But he knew what he had to do. He placed himself protectively in front of the girl and rammed his prostheses so hard against the floor that the wood splintered.

"We'll take her, no matter what you say." He tried to stay calm, he didn’t want to scare her. But it was fucking hard for him. "You can come along if you want, but don't keep your daughter from being happy!" He turned to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Go on, pack your things. We will be waiting for you."

She did not hesitate for a moment, only glancing at her father before running out of the room. But her father didn't move. He stared blindly at some spot in the room, as if he couldn’t believe that she really wanted to leave.

"Man, somehow I feel sorry for him," Franky whispered to him.

"Not me. He's too cowardly to change anything, so it's his own fault," Zoro said, pushing away from the door and walking outside.

Sanji shared his opinion, but suddenly stopped. Something about this situation seemed familiar to him. He followed the swordsman to make sure he didn’t get lost in the short time, the metal of his prostheses’ feet scraping over the half-frozen wooden floor.

Of course.

He was such an idiot.

Hadn't he been to cowardly to change anything, too? The first few days after he had woken up he had spent as if half asleep. When he thought back to that time now, he didn’t even know what he had been doing, his head had somehow been shut down. He'd been caught in a spiral of disgust for himself and the fear of meeting his friends, but something had changed that. He had started fighting again.

If Mark woke up from this spiral he would miss his daughter terribly. But by then she would be oceans away.

He ran back and poked his head through the door.

"Take him with you," he said to Franky and Robin. Evie was just coming down the hall, carrying a rucksack on her back.

Franky raised an eyebrow, then grinned broadly.

"Roger that!"

Before the old man could react, Franky had thrown him over his massive shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"I hope you're ready for a bit of risk," he told him, "because we live for it!"

Sanji sprinted through the empty house and onto the street. Miraculously, Zoro wasn't lost, but was peering down the street.

"I have a bad feeling," he mumbled.

"With your hair color I'd have a bad feeling, too. Come on, move. We're kidnapping someone!"

"Wait, what?!"

Sanji grinned broadly, some things always remained the same. Robin stepped out of the house, followed closely by Franky with Mark and his daughter.

At that moment, the siren sounded.

"Shit, what's that?" Zoro covered his ears as the piercing sound of the siren echoed off the house's stone walls. Evie panicked.

"Quick, we have to hurry!" She pulled on Sanji's coat, the icy air tugging at his skin. They took the direction of the Sunny. The cold air soon ached in his lungs.

"What's that alarm?" he gasped. She ran, the rucksack flinging back and forth on her back. She looked fearfully over her shoulder.

"It's him! Captain Vane!"

Oh shit. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he heard that name. He had heard it for the first time last night, but already it felt like a curse. That bastard who had destroyed his life from one moment to the next. Who had made Zoro throw himself onto the floor in front of him begging for forgiveness. He wanted to kill him so much.

But he couldn't.

"Does he have any weakness?" Robin asked the girl. "Anything to stop his power?"

She shook her head.

"I don’t know of anything. The only thing that helps is to be quiet!"

Soldiers suddenly poured out of the alleys from left and right and the group skidded to a halt.

"Shit," Sanji grumbled. His fingers searched for a cigarette, trembling. Vane was somewhere here on the island and he did not want to meet him.

"Seems like we've been spotted," Robin said dryly.

"What now?" Franky asked.

"What do you think? We fight our way free!" Zoro grabbed his swords, ran and slaughtered the first unfortunate marines. Sanji cast a nervous look behind him and then threw himself into action as well. He should be able to defeat those small fry.

Zoro slashed a line of soldiers open and jumped back before one of the enemy's swords caught him, back to back with Sanji. Franky blew a hole into the crowd, sheltering the girl and her father behind his broad back while Robin broke a dozen or more men's neck.

"Can you even fight with your injury?" Zoro panted.

"I told you, it's just a scratch," Sanji growled back and kicked one of the attacking soldiers back, the sharp blade of his prosthesis cutting through his uniform. The soldier stared at him, startled. "Hurry up! When Vane arrives I want to be away from here!"

Zoro narrowed his eyes. Casually, he mowed down another line of soldiers.

"Do you want to run away from him?" he shouted over the noise.

Sanji ducked and whipped his leg just above the floor.

"Do you have a better idea? Last time we barely escaped!"

"I don't want to _escape_ from him, I want to _fight_ him!"

"Are you crazy!" Sanji grabbed him by the collar. "We have no chance against him! It doesn't matter how fast you are, he'll always be one step ahead of you!"

Zoro grabbed his hand but didn’t pull himself out of his grip.

"Everyone has a weakness! And if he doesn't have one, then I just have to be stronger than him!"

Sanji stared at him, aghast.

"That's just stupid!"

"Call it what you want." Zoro pushed him away and stuck his katana between his teeth. "But if I want to become the strongest swordsman, I have to take this path."

Sanji stared at him dumbfounded, but he was torn from his thoughts in the next second when he was attacked again and could barely parry his attacker's punch off with the metal of his prosthesis.

"Can't I think about something in peace here!" he yelled annoyed and whirled into a handstand, his legs stretched out in a split, blood splattering and soldiers falling like flies around him.

He came to a stop and straightened his tie. Zoro fought against the last remaining men, his white top smeared with ash and blood. He had never seen him flee. No matter how hopeless a fight was, Zoro had never backed away, but had always faced it. A scar on the back was a disgrace to a swordsman. The scar on his chest on the other hand, he wore with pride and the determination to meet its causer one day.

Sanji's scars were none of this. Just a sign of his weakness.

His neck was tingling.

He didn’t want to turn around, but something forced him to. Slowly, he turned his head and looked over his shoulder like he had done again and again in the last few minutes for fear of what he might see.

Vane stood at the other end of the street. And he was closer to him than he had ever been.

He could see the steel gray of his eyes and the grim expression on his face, his imposing uniform bearing medals. He carried no weapon as far as he could see. He also had no need of one if he used his ability wisely.

Oh god, was he already within reach?

"Don't just stand there like this," Zoro whispered in his ear as he stepped beside him, a katana in each hand. Robin and Franky rushed to them.

Sanji felt as though his prostheses had frozen to the ground. His fingers trembled, but otherwise he could not move a muscle. He had to flee. It might have been cowardly, but it was the only sensible way, right? They had no chance. He would kill them. Or worse, put them against each other, as he had done before – maybe he would fall into Zoro's katana again, what would he cut off this time – he glanced at the blades that dripped with fresh blood – he didn’t want that – he wasn’t afraid of the pain, he had barely felt it, the blades too sharp, but god, he didn't want to be hacked to pieces-

"Hey! Pull yourself together!" Zoro pushed his side and he released a faint whimper. He felt powerless. "This is the moment you've been waiting for." Sanji stared at him as if he had grown a second head. Waited? "Now you can pay him back. Come on, we support you!"

But how should he be fast enough? Vane could be here in less than a blink of an eye.

He came closer. Sanji wanted to back away.

"You want to stay on the Sunny, don't you?" Zoro whispered in his ear, so softly that only he could hear it. "Wasn't that your fear? That we would leave you behind, if you can't fight anymore? Then tell me, what are you more afraid of? Of him – or of leaving us?"

Suddenly, Zoro shoved him in the back and Sanji stumbled forward. Vane was maybe a hundred paces away. Breathing heavily, Sanji watched him. He was only human. A single person who kept him from his goal, his dream. What had his journey been for if he couldn’t defeat him?

Cold sweat ran down his back. Without taking his eyes off Vane for a moment, he reached with trembling fingers into his jacket pocket and fumbled his pack of cigarettes out. The lighter clicked a few times until it was lit, but then the nicotine reached his nerves and calmed them. He breathed the smoke out and looked Vane straight in the eyes.

He looked back.

And suddenly he was there, right in front of him, Robin cried out, Zoro cut with the swords through the air and he was gone again.

Sanji's heart beat hard and fast against his chest, his eyes scanning the street and finally found Vane where he had stood before. He was slowly approaching, as if he had all the time in the world. Behind him ran several dozen marines, but he doubted he needed them.

"That bastard!" Zoro cursed. Sanji took a deep breath and drilled his prostheses deeper into the snow.

"I'm surprised to see you alive, Blackleg."

Sanji flinched. Vanes voice carried far in the silence of the city.

"It is almost a miracle after all the blood that you must have lost after your friend has hurt you so badly." Still fifty paces. But what did that matter when they were clearly within his reach? Fleeing was no longer an option.

Suddenly, Zoro dashed forward, all three swords drawn. Sanji tried to stop him, but he was too slow. Was he crazy? Did he even have a plan? He would kill him!

He moved before thinking and ran after Zoro, ignoring Robin’s and Franky’s cries, the snow splashing under his prostheses. Vane vanished from one moment to the other and was suddenly there, right in front of Zoro, who could barely react, steel flashing brightly in the sun and Zoro cursed and leaped back. A small drop of blood landed on the snow.

Sanji came to stand next to Zoro.

"Are you hurt?" it shot out of him. Zoro held his side. He raised his head and grinned at him cheekily.

"It's just a scratch."

"Fuck you! I'm serious!"

"I am, too. Look, he has a knife. It's very small, but also very sharp and he knows how to use it."

Sanji nodded. His eyes darted back to Vane, who had returned to his previous position. The bastard played with them. He showed no smile and no reaction, his face an iron mask, but he could almost feel how he enjoyed it.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Robin telling Franky to bring the other two to safety. But he wasn't the only one noticing. Vane's eyes narrowed to slits as he saw the two run and disappear behind a corner of the house. He raised his hand and a handful of soldiers left the group and pursued them.

Why didn't he do that himself? He had to know that these soldiers had no chance against Franky. Wouldn't it be much easier for him to teleport there, to kill or hurt them so badly that they could not move anymore? The soldiers would only detain Franky for a while, mainly because he had to protect two defenseless civilians.

Vane prioritized. But _why_?

Sanji got the uneasy feeling that he was missing something very important.

He had no time to think about it though when Vane suddenly attacked again. Suddenly, he appeared again in front of him and Sanji drew a sharp breath, the small knife – now he'd seen it too – darting forwards, but he sucked in his stomach and jumped back and it missed him by a hair's breadth. Vane followed him, not on foot, but teleported the short piece he had jumped back and attacked him again. Zoro skipped around them, his katana raised, but he didn’t dare to attack. Sanji knew why. Vane would use this attack against both of them, bringing him within range of the swords, which was why Zoro hesitated.

Suddenly, arms sprouted from Vanes shoulders and neck. Sanji saw the marine officer's eyes widen slightly, then he disappeared and with him Robin's extra limbs in a shower of blossoms.

Sanji looked at Robin – Vane had teleported right in front of her, his knife stabbed her – but her form disintegrated into pink flowers. Relieved, he let out his breath. It was just a doppelganger. The real Robin had apparently gone into hiding a while ago. Vane's face showed no emotion, but he stomped on the flowers lying on the ground. They had angered him. He was not sure if that was a good sign.

At least Robin was safe. She might be in his reach, but if he did not know where she was, that did not help him. He drew heavily on his cigarette. Time to earn his place in the crew.

He watched as Vane teleported again to his soldiers and then scattered them in all directions. The bastard was looking for them. But he would thwart his plans.

He ran to the soldiers closest to them and kicked them down before they could leave the street. Vane immediately followed and attacked him, but Sanji could jump back in time. Zoro had also understood what he intended and cut off the path for some others. But there were too many. About a dozen soldiers managed to escape into the numerous alleys between the houses.

"Robin will be fine!" Zoro shouted to him and ran towards Vane, but of course it was useless. He teleported a safe distance away and suddenly Zoro ran into Sanji, brought there by Vane with his powers. They stumbled to the ground and Sanji barely managed to get the sharp blades of his prostheses out of reach of Zoro's legs.

"Go, go, get off me!" Sanji hissed frantically and Zoro scrambled to his feet and pulled him up with him. Vane disappeared again.

"You realize I can kill you anytime?" His voice whispered directly into his ear and Sanji flinched and whirled around, but Vane was gone again.

They stayed close together.

"A shame to see you so messed up, Blackleg," Vane sneered and Sanji gritted his teeth. He just wanted to provoke them, but he hit the mark perfectly. "And to make matters worse, from someone in your own crew. Roronoa, how does that feel?"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up, mosshead. Don't let him provoke you."

He heard a louder becoming whirring and suddenly something exploded in the middle of the road, snow and wet boulders flying apart and Sanji raised his arms protectively over his face.

"What the-"

The next projectile exploded and now he recognized it as one of Franky's. This idiot! Didn't he want to get the other two to safety? Besides, he couldn’t see Vane in all the smoke, it was the perfect opportunity for him to attack them.

But nothing happened.

Why the hell didn't he attack?

A drop of sweat ran down Zoro's forehead, dirt sticking to his cheeks and hair. He searched the dust cloud for their opponent, but couldn’t discover him. He had been close enough to teleport to them and he knew where they were.

But something stopped him.

And then he realized it.

"I'm such an idiot!" he whispered. Next to him, Zoro laughed softly.

"I agree with that," he mocked, but Sanji grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the roadside. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"It’s not about range!" How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn't any of them even considered it? "His devil fruit has nothing to do with distance, it just looked like it this whole time!" The smoke cleared slowly, he had to hurry up. Fortunately, Zoro was dragged along by him. They slipped into one of the alleys, but Sanji did not want to stop there. Too risky.

"What are you talking about?"

"His devil fruit is not dependent on range, but on _seeing_ us!"

Zoro stopped dead in his tracks. Sanji stumbled and almost fell because of the sudden maneuver, but Zoro grabbed him with both arms. Breathing heavily, the two pressed against one of the house walls.

Zoro glanced over at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Not entirely."

"But at sea – when he was following us – he saw us and didn’t teleport over to us."

Sanji thought about it, but suddenly the solution was obvious.

"Of course! He doesn't just have to see us, he has to see us clearly!"

"Are you sure you're not thinking out of your ass?" Zoro asked skeptically.

"Why else wouldn't he attack us?"

"Because of his range!"

"Possible, but he doesn't pursue us now. He's still out in the street, waiting for the smoke to set."

Sanji knew he was right. His Haki told him that Vane had not moved yet. And his gut told him that he had assumed correctly. It was not safe, he still could be wrong. But that was a risk he had to take.

"Zoro." Sanji touched Zoro's forehead with his own. "Do you trust me?"

Zoro looked back ingeniously.

"Never stopped," he replied.

Sanji grinned and Zoro smiled back.

Another explosion followed.

"Let's go," Sanji said, pulling Zoro with him.

"What – why leave? Now that we know his weakness-"

"-we should first draw back and make a plan, mossbrain! Do you think Franky is distracting him so you can throw himself at him again? Let's run to the ship!"

At that moment he noticed Franky, who was running towards them, the girl and her father still in tow.

"What are you still doing here? Why aren't you on the Sunny yet?"

"Change of plan – the Sunny has taken off," Franky said.

"What?!" Sanji shouted in horror as Robin appeared and stopped in front of them.

"The bay is teeming with soldiers!"

"Apparently, they've discovered us," Robin continued calmly. "I have advised Luffy not to interfere, but to withdraw first."

Zoro snorted and raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"And he has listened to that?"

Sanji shoved him in the side.

"Unlike you hothead he knows when to listen to Robin-chan!"

Zoro clenched his teeth but didn't try to argue anymore. Luffy's word weighed more than his own.

"Nami is looking for a new place to hide the ship. We should remain undetected until then," Robin continued. 

"Then we should hurry. The smoke is getting less and less." Sanji wrung his hands. "But where should we go? With the amount of soldiers at his disposal Vane will find us in no time!"

"I know a place."

Everyone looked to Evie, who tentatively stepped forward. Mark put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you mean-"

"Yes." She nodded and looked at her father with wide eyes, full of determination. "The mine tunnels."

Sanji didn't understand anything anymore – what mine tunnels? He hadn’t seen any on the island yet, but the huge chimneys that were scattered all over the island had to be good for something.

"Then go ahead, lead the way for us!"

The girl ran ahead and they followed her, Mark sitting on Franky's shoulder. Snow spurted under his prostheses as Sanji looked behind himself every few seconds to make sure they were not being followed. Did he really discover his weakness? Or had he just made a mistake that they would pay for with their lives?

She led the group to one of the nearby chimneys. Smoke rose steadily from the black tower into the sky, the metal walls standing rigid and inflexible and seeming to merge with their underground in contrast to the scattered stone houses.

At the foot of the chimney a chute opened and in their bottom metal boards were embedded at regular intervals. Sanji could not see more than a meter or two ahead before the staircase disappeared into darkness. Evie ran down the stairs without hesitation. The others followed her and were soon gone.

Sanji stopped. The wind blew icy around his ears as he turned around one last time. At some point during the fight he had apparently lost his cap. Shit, he had no choice but to follow the others.

Zoro's voice echoed from the hole.

"Did you fall asleep or what? Get a move on, curlybrow!"

Sanji clicked his tongue annoyed and followed him.

After only a few steps the light diminished and soon almost complete darkness enveloped him. Where were the others? He felt along the wall, the prostheses scratching the wet stone floor.

Suddenly, something grabbed his arm and he startled.

"It's just me," said a voice.

Very helpful. Sanji rolled his eyes, but unfortunately the other couldn't see that. Luckily, he recognized Zoro's voice easily.

"This way," Zoro whispered.

"Are you sure you know the way?" Sanji teased.

"Shut it."

Moments later it got brighter. Orange light moved unsteadily across the walls and as they turned a corner he saw Franky pull a lighter from his sleeve.

"Won't he find us here?" Sanji asked skeptically.

"Not if we go deeper into the tunnel," Evie replied. Her pale face was bathed in warm light by the fire. "He knows about the tunnels, but he has never entered them. We're safe in here."

With the dim lighting reflecting from the walls, they went deeper into the tunnels. Soon further corridors branched off into which Evie turned without hesitation. Sanji had the impression that she knew her way around here. From time to time tools lay on the ground, pickaxes and shovels, but they met no human soul.

"What's mined down here?" Franky asked curiously as Robin slid his fingers over the uneven walls as he passed.

"Osmium," Evie replied shortly.

"Evie!" her father hissed, but she did not let herself be detained.

"It's too late anyway, dad – why don't we tell them the whole truth?"

"Because-"

"We have no choice but to run now."

"Then why did you first put us in this position?" Mark pulled his hair. "Why couldn’t everything just stay as it was?"

Evie’s eyes got wet and she clenched her hands into fists. She turned her back on them and Sanji was pretty sure she was crying because of the telltale twitching of her shoulders.

"Since Mama ... nothing is the same anyway."

Sanji swallowed. He had already wondered where her mother was, but now he knew it. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, but she pushed him away and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Let's go. We aren't deep enough yet."

Sanji burned with a thousand questions. What exactly happened to her mother? And why did her father refuse to talk so much about it? Why did this little girl know her way so well in this dark mine tunnels? He had a vague idea, but he hoped he was wrong.

"We're digging for the ore here," Evie finally whispered. Her voice echoed off the walls. "It is very valuable because it's not found anywhere else in the world. That's why many of us are busy here day and night. "

"I don't see anyone. Where are all of them?" Franky asked suspiciously.

"They're here. In the tunnels. But much deeper than we are."

Sanji shuddered. Even deeper? They had been walking for more than half an hour and the path went steadily down. How deep could it go?

"There is not much ore left up here, that's why we need to dig further down to meet our quota. Some stay down there for days, only to bring up the osmium at the end."

Sanji's eyes fell on her arm, which lacked the hand. He had a bad inkling.

"How exactly did your accident happen again?" he asked slowly.

She didn’t answer, but her shoulders pulled up and her left hand wrapped around her injured arm.

"It was a collapse." Sanji was surprised to hear Mark speak and he turned to the old man, who was still sitting on Franky's back. "Occasionally such accidents happen here," he continued, his eyes full of remorse. Sanji didn’t buy it. "We can't really know how stable the rock is and ... sometimes we dig too deep. She was lucky that only her hand was wedged in."

"Lucky? She has lost her hand, that's far from lucky!" Sanji snapped, but Franky put a finger to his lips.

"Not so loud! Such a thing can also make the tunnels to collapse!"

"She could have lost more than her hand – her whole arm, or her legs ..." _Or her life_ , Sanji thought, but he didn’t say that. "That's not something to be thankful for." He didn’t know if he should beat that man or not. Only Evie’s concern for her father kept him from doing so, it was apparent that she still loved him. "Why are you even working here? Is there no school? Or something easier to work with?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"It's not like I chose it," she said. "As I said, we have debts. And if you can't pay, you have to work here."

"I don't understand," Sanji murmured confused. "What is it with those debts? And to whom?"

"The Marines." It was Robin who answered his question. "Now I understand."

She was obviously the only one. Of course his clever, beautiful Robin had solved the puzzle!

"I read that your ancestors settled on the island only a few hundred years ago after it had been handed over to you by the Marines, right?" The girl nodded. "And have the Marines gifted you the island – or sold it to you?"

Sanji froze. Zoro ran in his back.

"Hey, don't just stand there!" he complained, but Sanji pushed him aside and walked towards Mark.

"Is she telling the truth?" he urged him. The man was silent, but that was answer enough. "Damn it!" He kicked against the wall and small stone crumbs broke from the ceiling.

"Hey, be careful man or do you want everything to collapse here?" Franky raised his hands to placate him.

"Why didn't you come out with that right away? We could have helped you much sooner!"

Robin put a hand on his shoulder, which immediately silenced him.

"It's not always easy to ask for help," she reminded him. "I, too, had chosen a different path at first when I met Luffy."

Damn, she was right. Before she had trusted them and become part of the crew – before she knew what Luffy was _capable_ of – she hadn't told them a word about her problems. He nodded, his face warm.

"Of course, our ancestors could not pay for everything," Evie continued in a low voice as the group began to move again. "They had to leave very quickly and had hardly any valuables with them. Most of them only had the clothes on their own skin. And the price ... was very high."

"How high exactly?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"To be honest, I don't know."

Sanji's jaw dropped.

"What? But how can you know when you've paid off the debt?"

"We can't. But it doesn't matter anyway. I don't think the Marines will ever release us."

She said that as if it did not matter to her. But Sanji saw her small body tremble.

"Those bastards! And Vane still supports the whole thing! I'm going to kill him!" Sanji hissed and Zoro encouraged him, "Like I told you to!"

"What do we do when Vane follows us? We'd be cornered!"

The girl turned to him.

"Don't worry, this was not the only entrance," she said. "There are many more."

And indeed, as soon as she had said those words the path under her feet curved slightly up. They had arrived at some kind of cave whose floor was covered with several holes. Sanji went to one of the holes and looked down, a rope ladder led down and soon disappeared into the depths.

"Please tell me that you didn't have to climb down there," he said and swallowed. Evie only gave him a solemn look and then headed for one of the tunnels that branched off the cave.

"It's this way."

They spent the rest of the way in silence. Sanji was busy quietly seething – he knew the Marines were thoroughly corrupt, but this was the last straw. How could one deceive a whole people like that? It was difficult enough to survive on such an uninhabitable island as this one. And the girl ... he felt for her. He didn’t want to imagine what it had been like for her to lose her hand. Painful. But with no hope for improvement and instead with the fear that such an accident could repeat itself any time.

And only because of the greed of the Marines.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Zoro put a hand on his shoulder and Sanji shivered from neck to tailbone. Zoro tried to behave as usual, but he couldn’t help but think about his kiss, the pressure on his lips and the spicy taste of sake. The warmth of his hand burned into his shoulder and he shook it off.

"Yes. Just glad when we get out of this cave."

It had been several hours since they had descended into the mines at the bottom of the chimney, when they finally caught sight of light from outside. Sanji hurried out of the tunnel, it gave him the creeps to have so much rock over him.

To his disappointment, the sun was setting.

Then he realized that Evie had led them to a bay – another one than the one they had anchored in earlier – and down there in the water, slowly swaying back and forth from the waves, lay the Sunny.

"We did it." He exhaled in relief. A small hand touched his arm.

"Do you promise to take us far from here?" Evie whispered, as if she was afraid she might be overheard by someone out here. "I want a place that we may call home so much."

Sanji bit his lip. How could he say no? He put his hand on her hair and gently stroked it.

"It's a promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments :3  
> Meanwhile, I wrote some other stuff including a One Piece oneshot which is independent of this fanfic. If you want to check it out: [The Confusions of Young Marimo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745350) (I finally uploaded the second part after I got around to translate it and edited the hell out of it)


	11. Chapter 11

Luffy shifted uneasily in his seat. Sanji had conjured up a quick dinner – spaghetti Bolognese, with the rest of the dried basil he had left – and everyone hungrily made a dash at it. It had been a busy day. But as soon as the last noodles were scooped out of the bowl and even Luffy could not find any more sauce in the pot, Robin began to tell what they had learned. There was an awkward silence at the table, except for Luffy, whose eyes were getting bigger and who finally, when Robin had finished, slammed his fist on the table, clanking plates and pots.

"I'll punch him!" he shouted and Evie and her father looked at him with wide eyes. No one in the crew flinched.

"I agree with you, Captain," Robin said quietly. "But we still need a plan. And while I believe that Mr. Cook is right in his assumption, we would still take a risk if we relied on it."

That was true. Sanji was not sure if Vane’s weakness was that he had to have visual contact with the place he wanted to teleport to. Nobody could be sure. But if even Robin counted on it there had to be some truth in it.

"We should not just make one plan, but two," Nami said.

"I've noticed that I can attack him with my powers," Robin mused aloud. "But only as long as he doesn't teleport away. But at least that's a good way to keep him busy. Or even scare him."

Could Vane even feel fear? When he had come so close to him he had looked directly into his eyes of steel and had seen nothing in them. Apart from his attempt to taunt him he had shown no emotion. Unconsciously, he crouched down while the others plotted. They would attack him tomorrow, that was for sure. Luffy had never been patient.

He had to trust his friends.

* * *

As the door opened, Sanji was preparing food for the next day. With all the excitement and Luffy's announcement to defeat Vane he probably wouldn’t be able to stay in the kitchen for longer periods of time and cook for his crew. He immediately recognized the heavy footsteps that now approached him from behind. And the smell of sweat. He wrinkled his nose.

"Water and soap ain't a disease, you realize that, right?" he asked into the room and Zoro stopped.

"Neither is to sweat a bit after training, cook," he said flatly and then helped himself to the fridge. Sanji had mercifully put a few bottles of beer for him there.

"Then shower! You stink!" He held his nose and waved in his direction - admittedly, the stench was not so bad, but he could imagine better smells in his kitchen than this one.

Zoro ignored him. Instead, he took one of the bottles, opened it with his teeth - Sanji rolled his eyes, the bottle opener was right next to him where he had laid it out for him - and took a couple of deep gulps. Barbarian. With so much overacted macho behavior it was a miracle that he apparently played for the other team.

Oh no - that was a very dangerous thought. Sanji focused more on the fillets which he prepared with skilled cuts into equal pieces. After a few seconds, he looked up and noticed that Zoro still hadn't left. Instead, he leaned leisurely with closed eyes at the counter, holding the cool beer against his forehead.

"Are you ill or something?" he asked slowly. Zoro opened his eyes lazily.

"I feel warm."

Sanji raised an eyebrow.

"Shower. You remember? It's really a miracle cure against-"

"Oh, shut up, curlybrow," Zoro interrupted him with a grin. "I just wanted some company."

Okay, that gave him the creeps. Had Zoro forgotten that this wasn't their deal? If Sanji sought company then surely not his and Zoro was most likely to hang out with Luffy. Or Chopper. Or Usopp.

But not him. Never.

He turned back to the fillets and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. His neck tingled and he saw Zoro watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"Is it so exciting to watch me?" he finally asked to interrupt the silence. Zoro set aside his empty beer.

"You're really good with knives. I think you wouldn't be that bad as a swordsman either," he said bluntly, and Sanji's heart got stuck in his throat. Compliments? From the moss brain?

"Um ... yes." He coughed. "As a chef, that's a given."

"Can I help?"

Sanji flinched and let's face it, there really was no reason to. When he still had been recovering, Zoro had helped him in the kitchen, so this was not surprising.

Only that he could handle it alone now. And Zoro offered it anyway.

"If you really have to," he mumbled, pushing a huge bowl of various vegetables over to him. "Cut that into small pieces. It doesn't have to be even, everything will soon be mashed anyway."

Zoro grabbed a knife - even the right one, as Sanji noticed with surprise - and went to work. Again, silence settled over the kitchen, apart from the sounds they made because of chopping. The longer the silence continued the more Sanji wanted to say something, anything at all, but he couldn’t think of anything. What should he talk to the guy about? They had no similarities and he also found it unnecessary to talk about the past day because there was nothing new to tell.

He leaned to the right to take the pan hung on the wall as Zoro turned to face him at exactly the same moment. Sanji lost his balance and fell forward, but Zoro grabbed his arm and stopped him from falling against him. Sanji straightened up again with a throbbing heart.

"Sorry," Zoro muttered. "I just wanted to say - I'm done with this." Sanji stared at him dully until he looked down at the bowl, where the vegetables were precisely chopped.

"Thank you."

He took a step to the left to get a bit more distance between them, cutting a few overripe bananas over the bowl. Zoro watched him quietly.

"What?", Sanji asked tensely and suddenly his knife slid deeper than intended and into his finger.

"Ah! Fuck!"

The cut burned and he hurriedly put the banana and knife aside. Hopefully, he hadn't contaminated the food now! Hastily, he looked into the bowl to see if his blood had got in there, but Zoro grabbed him, opened the faucet and put his hand under the cool stream. The water burned in the cut, but soon the cold had numbed the small wound.

Zoro stared at him.

"You never cut yourself," he remarked.

"You don't say," Sanji groaned, trying to ignore the throb in his finger. Damn, when they were this close together, he could see every single hair on his skin and-

"You have freckles," Sanji said, stunned. Zoro shrugged.

"Yeah, so?"

"Never mind." Sanji looked at the barely discernible dots that stretched across Zoro’s cheeks and nose. They were barely darker than Zoro's remaining bronze-colored skin. "I just never noticed."

"They are hard to see because my skin is so dark," Zoro explained.

"But here, right at your ear, is a particularly dark one." Sanji leaned forward to inspect it more closely. Amazing that he had never noticed this before. Zoro's cheeks turned red.

Only then he realized how close he was to him. Zoro still held his hand under the stream of water, his fingers pressing against his wrist. Zoro's eyes flicked back and forth and then, as if somebody had turned a switch inside him, his whole face went red in one fell swoop.

Sanji jerked back. Water splashed on the back panel of the kitchen.

Zoro stared at him, but this time with a disapproving look.

"Don't make it so hard for me."

What? Sanji swallowed. God, for a moment he had forgotten why he preferred to stay away from him, but now the mood was uncomfortable and tense again. He should change the subject.

"I don't know what you like about me," he said instead and damn, why did he say that? He didn't want to talk about it! "I mean, because I'm a man. Aren't you into women at all?"

He just got himself deeper in the shit. Like knee deep. Zoro frowned.

"No, I'm not," he said and fuck, Sanji didn't want to hear that.

"B-But - I've the same stuff as you! You know. Isn't that boring?" Sanji heard himself babbling and he was really an idiot that he kept talking. "And women are so beautiful, and so shapely, and when you touch them they're so soft-"

"Ugh." Zoro actually had the audacity to stick his tongue out and make gagging noises. "Women never interested me. Most of them are far too fragile and constantly nagging or want to force you into something you don't want to do. That's not my thing."

Sanji stared at him open-mouthed. But he loved to fulfill women's wishes! And if they gave him a smile for that, so much the better. How could anyone be turned off by that?

"You're crazy," he finally said as he had recovered. "It just doesn't make sense to be into men as a man yourself."

For a moment, something flashed in Zoro's eyes, but disappeared too quickly.

"Should I tell you what I like about men?" Zoro finally asked seriously. He leaned forward and Sanji was too frozen to step back. "Because he's strong. Because he doesn't give up despite everything, although I know his fears."

"That doesn't make sense." Damn, Zoro was too close to him. "I'm not strong, not anymore."

"Bullshit!" Zoro snapped at him and this time he jumped. "How you fought today is already proof enough of how strong you are. You're just thinking you're weak, that's the only thing holding you back!"

Zoro's breath on his face was warm and slightly smelling of alcohol and he should really be disgusted by it. The vein on his neck throbbed with every heartbeat. His eyes darted to his mouth, still twisted with anger. He swallowed and made one, then two steps back.

"I don't want to argue with you about that." He put a band-aid on the cut and then took the knife and rinsed it carefully. Zoro snorted.

"Well, me neither."

He instructed Zoro to bring the pot with the vegetables to a boil while he turned on the pan. But his thoughts kept drifting away, to the kiss that kept creeping into his head and the sweaty, constantly provoking man standing next to him. Without him, he probably would not have made it here. He was the only one who treated him the same as before.

Why was he always on his mind?

* * *

The next day started with a clear sky and sunshine. Absolutely inappropriate for what they intended to do, Sanji thought, rubbing his eyes. He had lain awake half of the night, wondering what today would bring. The phantom pain had returned to his legs and he shifted his weight as he lit a cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the cold morning air.

"Ready?"

Zoro came up next to him, his three katana on his hip.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Sanji answered and looked at him. Zoro's hair was disheveled and his cheeks had begun to redden from the cold. He held out a woolen cap.

"Here."

Sanji looked at it undecided.

"Why don't you wear it yourself?" Sanji asked.

"I won't get cold," Zoro replied. "And you lost yours."

Sanji hesitated, but finally he took the dark green cap and put it on. Immediately, he felt warmer.

"Thanks," he said sheepishly. To his relief, the rest of the crew came to the deck at that moment, along with Evie and her father. Evie came up to the rail and put her remaining hand on it, she could hardly look over it. She was pale, as if she too had not slept much.

"Everything alright?" Sanji was worried. The two were to remain on the ship during the attack, along with Nami and Brook, who were able to bring the ship to safety if needed. The girl nodded.

"I just hope nobody of the town gets hurt," she said softly. "There's so much bad stuff in this place, but somehow ... it's still my home. I wish we could stay here."

Something tightened in Sanji. Evie knew nothing but these barren, cold islands and the terrible burden that had weighed on her family and all her friends and acquaintances for generations. But despite her desire for a better place, she wanted to stay here because it was her home.

"With a bit of luck we can do it."

Sanji tried to smile, though he wasn't so sure that they could win against the Marines’ officer. But so far, Luffy had managed to do everything he'd put his mind to.

They started moving. Nami waved from the deck with a worried look on her face, but soon she was out of sight. There was no fixed path leading to the city and this gave Sanji hope that they wouldn’t be discovered. A handful of wide-spaced trees marked their path, the branches scrawny and their bark black. Sanji stroked the wood in passing, returning with fingers full of soot.

The smoke from the city hung heavily in the sky and became denser the closer they got to their destination. Sanji chain-smoked and kept glancing at Zoro who walked silently beside him. Despite the cold, sweat had formed on his skin and his clothes stuck disgustingly to it. His throat tightened. Zoro touched his hand.

"Have we ever lost a fight?" he asked quietly, so that the others couldn’t hear it. Yes, they had. And it had cost them two years which, though valuable, had been terribly lonely.

Sanji shook his head. Zoro's fingers were warm despite the cold. Sanji hesitated, but then he enclosed them with his own. Zoro's eyes widened. Sanji turned his head to the side and avoided looking at him. He didn't know what had brought him to do that, but now he didn’t want to let go either.

"Guys, we'll be there soon!" Luffy bounced up and down.

Sanji straightened his shoulders, his heart was thumping and the lump that had formed there almost stole his breath. Zoro squeezed his hand, shortly and strongly. His hand felt moist as he squeezed back.

They stepped out of the sparse forest and gazed out over the city with its huge chimneys that produced ceaseless smoke and ashes, the houses around them tiny crouching shapes. His legs throbbed as he surveyed the city, covered in snow and ashes. Vane was somewhere out there. He was probably looking for them and as soon as he saw one of them, the fight would begin.

They walked between the houses. His neck was tingling, and as he looked at one of the windows he saw someone pulling a cloth quickly in front of them. They were being observed. If he watched the windows of the other houses more closely, he saw here and there some gaps in the cloths hanging behind them and now and then a pale face. The residents of the city watched them as they walked down the street.

He felt him before he saw him.

His observation Haki tingled like the tip of a needle in the skin behind his ear.

"Is it courage or stupidity that brought you back?" Vane was only a few meters away. How had he been able to sneak up on them this close? Had they blindly walked into a trap?

The others whirled around, Chopper bit down on a rumble ball and Usopp hid behind Franky. Only Zoro and he stayed where they were.

He had to turn around. He _had to_. His legs were frozen. Sweat formed between Zoro's hand and his own and he slipped a bit.

"I believe that there is no difference." Vane’s voice was suddenly much closer and he knew that he must have teleported. What hope did they had to defeat him? Even with their plan they would only be able to avoid him, but eventually their luck would run out.

"Sanji." Zoro's voice sounded urgent. "Sanji! Stop just standing there!"

He couldn't. He was paralyzed. Was there any purpose to fight? Zoro's face suddenly appeared in his field of vision, but what could he do? Fighting against Vane had almost killed him. He'd cut off his legs-

Zoro kissed him.

It took longer than the first time, his lips lingering for a few long seconds, light pressure, the taste of sake and-

Zoro grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"If you have to think, think about _this_! Now fight!"

Noise exploded around him and only now he heard the stream of soldiers running out of every street; Luffy and Chopper held them back together, while Robin looked around with her arms crossed. Sanji followed her gaze and saw the last flash of Vane, who teleported closer to her for a fraction of a second, only to disappear instantly. Petals fell to the ground.

Robin had protected them while he was too scared to move. He finally had to pull himself together.

Vane teleported to his left, Sanji ducked and saw the flash of metal, the small knife barely missing him. His prostheses slipped on the snow-covered ground and he swung his leg at him, but he was far too late and just caught air. Behind himself, he heard the sound of steel on steel and as he spun around he saw Zoro seemingly fighting nothing, only the flicker of air told him that Vane was attacking him.

He straightened up, buzzing adrenaline in his head and kicked at him, but suddenly Zoro was much closer and he barely managed to steer his kick into another direction before he hurt him.

"Shit," Sanji gasped, eyes wide. "He's doing the same shit again!"

"Don't be distracted." Zoro pressed his back against him, burning hot despite the cold. "He has a weak spot. He _has_ to have one."

Suddenly, smoke exploded around them. Sanji grinned as the blue smoke enveloped the road, apparently Usopp had finally managed to hide and carry out their plan. The smoke flowed around them, robbing them of sight. Vane was nowhere to be seen. Heart pounding, Sanji watched his surroundings. Vane could still attack them the traditional way, they shouldn't become careless.

He reached out with his Haki, feeling, searching. He still had to be around, surprised by the smoke, perhaps confused. The smoke stung his eyes and scratched his lungs. They moved quietly side by side, scanning the plumes for a shadow, listening for any noise. His Haki picked up Zoro next to him, warm as a beacon. Robin was hidden in the smoke a few meters behind them, Chopper and Luffy not far from her. Franky had positioned himself on one of the nearby roofs. He spotted Usopp, on the same roof as Franky, firing a second smoke bomb into the street and green mingled itself to the blue and whirled slowly around. He saw the soldiers, but only a few, most of them unconscious. The rest had fallen victim to Robin.

But Vane was nowhere to be found.

"What is it?" Zoro whispered. Sanji took a shaky breath. Smoke poured into his lungs and he coughed.

Suddenly, he was torn back and something sharp cut his throat; Zoro shouted and reached for him, but the image in front of him changed abruptly, he saw the cloud of smoke from outside, blinked, suddenly he was far above the city and then even further away, only then he realized that the cut in his neck came from a knife and someone was holding him and he turned his head up, only to stare directly into Vane's cold eyes.

He fought and tried to kick him, but Vane pushed the knife even deeper into his throat. Sanji froze.

No matter what he did, Vane would be faster. He could kill him anytime. He didn't dare to move his head again when he looked down, the cloud of smoke far below him as Vane teleported them farther and farther away. Away from his friends. Away from Zoro.

"Now you're not so brave anymore, eh?" Vane mocked. Sanji wanted to say something to him, but he didn't want to drill the knife deeper by accident. "You thought you were smart, didn't you? That I couldn't get you with your little tricks." Vane leaned down to his ear and Sanji suppressed the shiver that came over him. "Do you honestly believe that I would have made it to this point if I had such a flaw?"

Sanji swallowed. Their plan had been completely for nothing. Vane would kill him after he had finished gloating and then he would pick the next one out of the smoke cloud. They were like fish in a way too small pond, it was child's play to take them apart bit by bit. He hoped his Robin-chan would notice soon enough that they had been wrong.

But what if not?

Then their journey would end here. Luffy would never become the pirate king. Nami would never finish her map and Robin would never know the truth about the void century. Brook would lose his crew for the second time. Zoro would never be the best swordsman.

And he would never find All Blue.

His throat tightened and he was gasping for breath, maybe the knife had finally scratched his trachea, but he couldn't allow to let it end here, all those dreams and the adventures that still lay ahead of them, the friendships he had made and there was still so much unknown - Vane screamed and suddenly he fell.

Vane moved away from him quickly, black smoke between them, and only then he realized that his leg - no, his prostheses - had caught fire, white-hot metal, and he just stared for a heartbeat or two and cheered, his fists beating triumphantly upwards.

He turned in mid-air and hit the floor with a crash, the shock echoing in his knees and the snow melting around him. He tilted his head back and saw Vane, far above him, his stony face suddenly turned into a mask of anger and he disappeared.

Sanji pushed himself off the ground and jumped through the air, running up an invisible staircase.

He couldn't give Vane time to attack him. If he allowed himself to be defensive again, he'd lost - he had wasted enough time running away from him.

A figure ran from the dissolving cloud of smoke and hastily looked around.

"Zo-"

Vane flashed in front of him and Sanji kicked in his direction, the movement fast enough to scare him away, but not to hit him as he was gone in the blink of an eye, leaving him alone at high altitude, kicking the air like a swimmer.

But his exclamation had sufficed, Zoro looked up at him and something tightened in him as he saw his mouth fall open. Sanji's mouth twitched. He smiled at him.

He was torn around and the world disappeared again, and god damn it, why hadn't he paid attention? He dodged Vane's knife skillfully and kicked at him with flaming legs, the glowing metal igniting Vanes officer's coat. But they were much too far away again, the edge of the island almost below them, a snowy coast and the Sunny.

His breath caught: Evie was there, along with her dad. And Nami. Vane teleported back a bit. Their eyes met and Sanji knew immediately what the bastard had in mind before a nasty grin spread on his face.

Sanji turned pale.

"Oh no, _you don't!_ "

Vane disappeared.

Sanji pushed down in the same second. He knew he would never be faster than Vane, but he just had to try. The life of his friends depended on it. The others were too far away to reach the ship in time and they had no idea where he had gone.

His prostheses caught fire again as he plunged into the depths, the metal first orange and then glowing white, and suddenly he saw Vane over the Sunny, waiting for him.

Sanji rushed to him, his heart pumping blood wildly through his veins and suddenly he was in front of him and he kicked him with one flaming prosthesis. Vane avoided him effortlessly, but he also didn't try to reach the Sunny. _He was playing with him_.

And suddenly his prosthesis connected with him. Sanji flinched, not expecting to get him, but the blunt side of the prosthesis drilled itself into his side, as effective as the sharp blades that kept cutting him up.

They crashed to the ground. The snow spurted and changed color as drops of blood fell from his injured throat. Vane struggled, but Sanji pushed him down into the water with one prosthesis.

Sanji was breathing hard. So much hate, so much fear of this man and now he had him? Why didn't he teleport himself? Vane tried to come up again, but Sanji pushed him even more brutally down, the sharp blade of the prosthesis cut his clothes and - Vane hissed - into the flesh underneath.

A sharp pain ran down his throat and he touched the skin there, his fingers met sticky, warm blood which cooled instantly in the cold. His head was fogged, his thoughts difficult to grasp. He swallowed, but the movement hurt. His knees were throbbing - but he could not stop yet.

"Why didn't you attack us?" he croaked, squeezing the words out of his wounded throat. "At that time, at sea. You let us escape. Why?"

Vane's mouth twisted into a grin and Sanji drilled the tip of the prosthesis deeper into him. Vane coughed.

"And finish this immediately?" he asked. "I have to admit, I was amazed to see you alive. After all the blood you lost ... you should have seen their faces. I liked Roronoa’s best-"

"Shut up, you bastard!" Sanji slammed the prosthesis deeper into his stomach, the blade burying itself into the flesh underneath. "You could have attacked us! We thought you couldn't - because we were too far away - or because you couldn't see us properly - but we were wrong! Why?"

Vane's grin became wider.

"You've been in my territory since long ago. I knew you would arrive on my island." His eyes turned cold. "Why should I chase you when you come to me by yourself?"

Sanji gritted his teeth.

"Is this all just a game for you?"

"Please don't misunderstand," Vane said. " _Everything_ is a game."

"And Evie? What about her hand? Is that just a game, too?" Sanji spat and Vane looked at him in confusion.

"Who is that supposed to be?"

Sanji shook with rage.

"The little girl who lost her hand! Who had to work every day in this mine tunnel, because you greedy Marines just can't get enough!"

"Oh, you mean the daughter of the old man who gave us the hint about you?"

"What-"

"He probably thought we would abate part of his debt. Or who knows, maybe even everything!" Vane laughed. "These freeloaders just don't know when to stop!"

"Freeloaders? These people work so hard every day-"

"They're good for nothing but digging up the osmium," Vane interrupted. The water around him turned red. "If somebody dies in the tunnel, we'll replace him directly with another - these people would do anything for money!"

"They are human-"

Suddenly, metal flashed and Vane's knife flew towards him. He yanked up the leg with which he had nailed him down and parried it in the last second. Vane began crawling away from him, but Sanji kicked the knife aside and thrust his leg down, the blade piercing his stomach and digging into the snow beneath him.

Vane spat blood. No sound came from his lips as he writhed beneath him, hands outstretched. He jerked one last time and then became unnaturally quiet.

"Sanji!"

Someone called him, but he didn’t respond. The snow around Vane was melting with the warm blood seeping out of his open mouth.

"Sanji!" Someone tore him around and he stumbled as his blade was pulled out of the dead body.

"Is that - how did you-"

He was pulled into a hug, strong arms around him and pressing him against a broad chest. It was Zoro.

Zoro had found him. He let out a shaky breath.

"Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, even though he was in pain and felt the blood on his neck slowly soak through Zoro's coat. He heard someone calling for them, but the voices were distorted and dull. His legs gave way. Zoro grabbed him harder and held him up.

"Hey! Sanji, what happened?"

Someone appeared next to them, a brown face, blue nose - Sanji struggled to keep his eyes open. Behind Chopper came more people running, he felt as if the whole city was suddenly crawling out of their houses. Had they watched him? Had they seen how he paid the bastard back?

His whole body suddenly felt so heavy.

Chopper's eyes widened.

"Ah! Your neck!" he shouted and Zoro held him out to himself.

His skin felt wet, his fingers numb. Chopper kept talking, but the words became incomprehensible, and he saw nothing except snow, water and Vane's gray eyes staring blankly at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :) I hope you enjoyed that chapter.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you liked it (or if not). I feel a bit repititive when I'm saying this, but please consider to take a minute or two to leave a comment. Writers thrive on them. It's not a bother and you don't have to worry about what you could write, even a simple "thanks for the chapter" brightens my day.
> 
> I've seen several times that some people consider it "comment begging", but let's be real for a moment: There's a lot of tears and blood in fanworks. No one is obligated to comment of course, but it's just a nice gesture.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there :3
> 
> I've been quite overwhelmed by the amount of comments I got for the last chapter; I didn't really expect anyone to react to it.
> 
> So, thank you all so much for commenting, it made me really happy! (≧∇≦*) Please don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts anytime you like. Even if it's (constructive) criticism, it's always appreciated by me. I want to become better, after all! ;3
> 
> I hope you'll like the events which will follow in the next chapters. |ω･`)

Someone was petting his hand. Sanji kept his eyes closed as he paid attention to the feather-light touch. His body felt like he had run over a minefield and he felt a faint throb in his head. At any rate, the fingers that brushed the back of his hand were not those of Nami or Robin. They were rough, the fingernails short, stroking his knuckles and tracing along his pinky.

He blinked. Through half-closed eyes he looked to the right - in the semi-darkness of the infirmary, there was someone sitting in a chair. Dark trousers, white shirt, ugly haramaki-

His hand was released.

"You're awake."

Opening his eyes completely, Sanji stared at him. Zoro didn't look good with dark shadows under his eyes and ruffled hair.

"Saying the obvious again?" he whispered, wincing as sudden pain pierced through him. His voice sounded like sandpaper.

"Psst. Chopper says you shouldn't talk for a while."

Sanji would have gladly said something, but given the situation he settled for raising an eyebrow.

"Your throat," Zoro tapped his own one, "was injured badly. You're lucky he didn't cut deeper, otherwise he would probably have caught your trachea."

Sanji's breath stopped. Suddenly, everything seemed to collapse over him, seeing the smoke as he had been torn backwards and away from his friends, alone and at his mercy, Vane's cold eyes which seemed to pierce him even in death.

He screwed his eyes up briefly and hard. Vane was dead. He had defeated him, there was no reason to be afraid. It was over.

He swallowed, the tight knot in his throat squeezing painfully past the cut, then he opened his eyes again. Zoro looked at him calmly. He wanted to ask him how long he had been here, but instead pointed at the clock behind him. Zoro turned around and luckily understood what he meant.

"Two days," he replied as he turned back to him. "And before you ask, we're still in the same bay. Luffy wiped the Marine's base out." He grinned. "After all, you defeated Vane all by yourself! Luffy couldn't take that! Unfortunately, most of the Marines had already left. Guess they knew we were coming."

A faint smile tugged at his lips, but even that little movement hurt and he grimaced. Zoro's grin disappeared.

"Are you in pain? Should I get Chopper?"

Sanji moved his head slightly back and forth. He didn't want anyone here now. Someone had taken off his prostheses and put them next to the bed. The whole situation reminded him too much of that time. His eyes slid to his hand next to him, motionless on the sheet. Zoro followed his gaze and his ears began to glow.

"Sorry." Zoro swallowed. "I shouldn't have touched you."

Vane was dead. There was nothing to fear, but he still found it difficult to breathe as he slowly moved his hand in Zoro's direction. Zoro's eyes grew wide and his ears glowed like a beacon. He hesitated, but then gently put his hand on Sanji's.

Trembling, Sanji exhaled.

He had no idea what made him do it. The last thing he wanted was to give Zoro hope, but at the same time his touch was so reassuring.

They didn’t talk to each other, but after a while Zoro's hand moved on top of his and continued with the gentle movements that had woken him up. Sanji fixated the ceiling.

Suddenly. the door was opened and Sanji jerked his hand back. Pain flared up in his throat and he gasped.

"Sanji!" Chopper approached him and leaned over him, sending Zoro a disapproving look. "I told you to let him sleep! Did you wake him up?"

Actually, he had, but like hell Sanji would go ahead and tell him the details of it. The back of his hand tingled and he dared to take a look at Zoro, whose ears were still glowing as if he had held them to a heater. It didn't slip Chopper's attention.

"Did you catch a fever, Zoro?" he asked, holding one of his hooves to Zoro’s forehead. "Hmm, a bit warm, but no fever. Then get out of here! "

He shooed him out of the room and then turned back to Sanji.

"How are you? - Wait, don't talk! Your wound still has to heal. Just show me with your hands." Chopper pulled up a chair. Sanji considered, then pointed his thumb to the side. "Not good, but not bad, yes?" Sanji nodded. "Well, I didn't expect anything better. Let me take a look at the cut, okay?"

Sanji remained completely still while Chopper examined him. He was lucky to be alive. Vane could have killed him anytime, if he hadn't been so arrogant and played with him for as long as a cat with a mouse. A chill came over him and Chopper looked at him worriedly.

"Are you cold? I'll get you another blanket."

He rubbed ointment on his skin and put a fresh bandage on him, then left the room. A few seconds later, Zoro peeked around the corner and sat back with him, but hesitated and looked away. Sanji snorted and held out his hand, which Zoro immediately took between his own two hands and let them drop in his lap.

When Chopper arrived with the promised blanket a few minutes later, Sanji hurriedly withdrew his hand. Chopper looked confused at the two, but allowed Zoro to sit with him.

* * *

"Did Chopper allow you to get up?"

Zoro leaned against the door behind him, arms crossed. Sanji had put on his prostheses early in the morning, having been only in bed the last three days, and then sneaked into the kitchen. His throat still hurt when he spoke, but at least the wound had closed.

"Since when do you listen to Chopper's medical advice?" His voice was still rough. With one hand, he cracked an egg while he whisked the batter. "But for your information: Yes, he has. I shouldn't strain myself and so on." Setting the egg shells aside he picked the next one up as Zoro approached and stood next to him. "If Chopper's advice is so important to you, then help me with breakfast."

Zoro rolled his eyes (he knew that without turning around), but did what he asked him to do.

They were still in the bay while Franky kept his promise and built a prosthetic hand for Evie. Sanji had not seen the girl since leaving the ship in search of Vane. Zoro had told him that she had returned to the island with her father to repair her half-ruined home, Franky and Usopp helping them.

He was happy for her, really. But at the same time he couldn’t shake off the thought of what Vane had said to him - that Evie's father had betrayed them to the Marines.

"Don't think so much or you'll hurt yourself," Zoro said next to him. Sanji swung his leg at him and a sudden pain rushed through him. He flinched and Zoro's grin instantly changed to worry.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he asked, coming closer. Too close.

"Stop being a mother hen, Marimo," Sanji grumbled, but didn't push him away. Carefully - lately, he was always just that, careful, as if he were made of glass and could break at any moment, or as if this, whatever _this here_ was, was the fragile thing - Zoro carefully put his arm around his waist and his warm hand came to rest on top of his hip bone. Sanji's heart throbbed loudly and he hoped Zoro couldn’t hear it.

With vigorous movements, he beat up the eggs until they became a creamy mass. Then he sprinkled in the herbs he had just cut and seasoned everything with salt and pepper. He was about to turn on the stove when he saw that the button was already set to medium heat.

Zoro released him so he could pour the eggs into the pan. Sanji bit his lip as he felt the sudden coldness on his hip, already missing the touch. Why had he allowed him to do that? Why did he encourage him?

Zoro had become like an anchor for him. There were only a few small touches scattered throughout the day and Sanji made sure that no one except them was present. He didn’t want anyone in the crew to get the wrong idea.

Warm breath suddenly stroked his neck. Sanji's hackles raised.

"What are you doing, Marimo?" he squeezed out, his hand holding the spatula trembling.

Zoro's hands rested on his hips again, two burning palms on each side. Suddenly, his neck tingled, a hot mouth settled on his skin and the spatula clattered into the pan. Sanji ducked and whirled around, his hands grabbing the counter until his knuckles turned white. Wide-eyed, he stared at Zoro who was still standing in the same place with outstretched arms, a slight blush on the tips of his ears and a smug smile on his mouth.

With which he had just kissed him.

Sanji raised a hand and wiped his neck. His fingers returned slightly damp.

He should tell him that this was not his deal. That he still wasn't interested, that the fight with Vane had changed nothing.

But he didn't.

Instead, he hurriedly pushed Zoro aside and stirred the egg in the pan before it burned.

To his relief, a few moments later he heard someone running up the stairs to the kitchen.

"Sanji! Food!" Luffy shouted, nearly knocking him over. "You made scrambled eggs? I love scrambled eggs! Put some bacon on it!"

Sanji rolled his eyes and took out the bacon, which he had previously fried and kept warm in the oven. Luffy drooled and wiped his mouth. With the help of Zoro, Sanji set the table with plates, cutlery and glasses, poured freshly squeezed orange juice into a carafe and put two plates full of scrambled eggs down as well as bacon and lightly toasted bread while more crew members came into the kitchen.

Robin smiled at him and touched his shoulder briefly, making his heart beat faster. He placed a cup of freshly brewed coffee in front of her, black, with a dollop of cream like she preferred, and then scurried across the kitchen to get Nami's tea.

However, Zoro got suddenly in his way.

"Sit down, ya fool," Zoro grumbled. He shoved him over to the table and then pushed him down so that he fell onto the bench next to Chopper. "I'll do it."

Sanji sent him a dirty look, but didn't complain. As long as the moss head didn’t spill the tea, it was okay for him.

Chopper looked at him with wide eyes.

"Have you over-exerted yourself?" he asked suspiciously. His blue nose twitched.

"Don't worry, Chopper." Sanji smiled at him and pointed his thumb at Zoro. "The walking seagrass over there helped me."

"Hey!" Zoro complained in the background and the rest of the crew laughed. Sanji hid his grin behind his hand. It was good to be among his friends again.

The door opened again and Franky and Usopp came in, followed by Evie and her father. Sanji raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had not known that the two seemed to be going on and off the Sunny regularly. At least no one responded as if it was unusual for them to eat with them.

Usopp sat down next to him and wanted to shovel food on the plate, but Sanji reacted quickly and hit him on the back of the hand with his spoon.

"Ouch!" Usopp withdrew his hand and held it close to his body. "Why did you do that?"

"Ladies first," Sanji growled, but when he looked at the plate again, he noticed that most of the scrambled eggs and bacon had already disappeared. He didn't have to guess who the culprit was and glared at Luffy whose belly had rounded suspiciously.

Zoro came to the table last and once he sat down facing him, the battle was on. The boys fought Luffy for the food while Robin sipped her coffee and Nami facepalmed in annoyance. Fortunately, Sanji could claim a small portion of the scrambled eggs and a piece of toast while Zoro stabbed Luffy's greedy hand with his fork.

Evie and her father seemed completely untouched by the chaos, apparently they had really eaten the last days here and were already used to Luffy's insatiable hunger.

He noticed Usopp staring at him out of the corner of his eyes and tilted his head to him.

"So, uh ..." Usopp started, fumbling with his cutlery. Luffy stole a piece of bacon from him without him noticing. "Franky and I wanted to check your legs - I mean your prostheses. Whether they've taken any damage, like scratches or something."

Why was he this nervous? Sanji frowned and nodded.

"Of course, it's no problem. However, I don't believe that my prostheses could get scratched by anything."

"I built them, after all!" Franky boasted and grinned widely. "But just in case, bro. That was pretty impressive, man!"

"When's a good time for you?" Usopp asked, his eyes not quite meeting him. "I mean, if we have to fix it, you can't walk for a few hours-" He broke off and blushed as if he had just said something wrong.

Sanji opened his mouth, but then he felt a touch on his knee. He looked around, but nobody looked directly at him. It was clearly a shoe that had just touched his knee and now travelled up his thigh.

Harboring a suspicion, he looked at Zoro and saw that his ears were red. Immediately, Sanji moved his leg so that Zoro's foot slid down and glared at him. What was his plan? The risk for the others noticing the movements under the table was far too great. Zoro's mouth quirked slightly upward. Without looking at him, he touched his knee again with his foot, but this time Sanji kicked him away. Zoro winced. He looked at him briefly and then turned back to his breakfast.

"But first, we will finish Evie's hand today!" Franky announced proudly. "That'll be _super_!"

Sanji's gaze flickered to Evie who smiled shyly at Franky and then to her father who sat quietly next to her. Vane had said that he had betrayed them to the Marines. But was that true? And even if it was, Sanji was not sure if he should tell anyone about it. After all, the man had certainly not done it out of greed, but in the hope of bringing his little family out of a difficult situation. Hopeless, yes. But he himself knew well that in hopeless situations, people grasped for straws.

Suddenly, Mark lifted his head and their eyes met. Sanji fixated him. The man turned pale and lowered his head quickly, his hand on the fork trembling.

He would keep his secret to himself first, Sanji decided and then turned back to his food.

* * *

Half an hour later, everyone had gone back to their work and Sanji stood in the midst of the chaos they had left behind. Sighing, he set about collecting the dirty plates and pointedly ignored Zoro who was still sitting on the bench, chin in his hands, watching him.

Usopp and Franky had examined his prostheses a few minutes ago and found only very slight scratches on them. Nevertheless, they wanted to repair the prostheses and he had arranged with them that they could have them in the evening.

He piled the plates in the sink and let hot water in, then returned to the table to fetch the glasses. When he tried to turn around, Zoro grabbed his arm.

"You're mad at me," he stated. "Why?"

Sanji broke free of his grip and put the glasses down on the counter.

"There's really only moss in your head if you have to ask me that."

Zoro clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Don't be bitchy now!"

Sanji whirled around.

"Bitchy? Me and bitchy?" With long strides, he came up to him and planted himself in front of him. "How else should I react if you’re molesting my legs under the table? And that in front of everyone! What should they think?"

Zoro's mouth fell open.

"Seriously? That's your problem?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair. "I mean, what did you expect?" he continued, this time quieter. "Do you want to keep this a secret forever or what?"

"And what exactly do you mean by _this_?" Sanji squeezed out through clenched teeth. Zoro frowned.

"Well ... just this. _Us_."

Sanji drew in a shaky breath, his lungs clenching.

"Listen, Marimo," he growled. "You misunderstood something completely. I'm not gay. And I don't want to have anything to do with it! The thought of it alone disgusts me!"

Zoro flinched as if he had kicked him. He paled and jumped up, his whole body trembling.

"And what was that in the infirmary? _You_ reached for _my_ hand! How else was I supposed to understand that?"

"I just didn't feel well, okay?" Sanji yelled back. "And you were just there!"

"What does that mean, not feeling well?" Zoro took a step forward as Sanji stepped back. "That's still no reason for you to - to lead me on! Why didn't you say anything for the last two days? Have you been _disgusted_ with me the whole time and just _endured_ it?"

Zoro took a shaky breath. Sanji's eyes darted around restlessly; he didn't dare to look at him.

"I'm scared, okay," he finally admitted quietly.

"Of what?"

Sanji wiped his eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched humorlessly.

"Vane." He swallowed and shuffled nervously. Zoro snorted.

"Vane's dead."

Sanji nodded.

"I know. Believe me, I know that."

For a moment, there was silence. The only background noise was the water rushing into the sink.

"So you only allowed it because - because you were scared? Because you needed comfort?" Zoro finally asked, taking another step towards him. Sanji stopped, head down. Zoro's breathing came in hitches and his body, so near to his own, practically seemed to vibrate, his body heat nearly his own. "Bullshit." Zoro's breath wafted over his throat and he remembered feeling the same touch on his neck. "That's a bullshit excuse. You can't tell me that you don't feel anything."

Sanji stared stubbornly at the blades of his prostheses, Zoro's feet almost between them, his heart beating painfully in his chest.

"Do as you like." Zoro stepped back and Sanji looked up, but Zoro had already left him. "I won't touch you anymore. If you need comfort, there are plenty of other people on this ship." He turned away from him and walked quickly to the door. "If you change your mind, you have to take the first step."

He slammed the door behind him and Sanji jumped.

Sanji stared at the door. He could hear Zoro thumping down the stairs.

Turning on his heels, he stomped over to the sink, grabbed the sponge and began to wash the plates. The bastard could shove it! Like hell he would go and run after him or whatever he pictured in his twisted brain. He scrubbed the plates one after the other and put them on the draining board, then took the towel from the holder, picked up the first plate and turned around.

He almost dropped his plate when he saw Robin sitting at the table.

"How long have you been sitting there?" he asked. A small smile played around the corners of Robin's mouth.

"Long enough," she said. Sanji froze.

"That means ... how long exactly?" he asked slowly, hoping that she had not really heard everything.

Robin sprouted some hands beside the coffee pot, poured herself a cup and gradually passed it via a chain of hands.

"I have my eyes and ears everywhere," she remarked as she accepted the cup from her own hands. Sanji blushed and rubbed his face, but to no avail. "There is no reason to be ashamed," Robin continued, as if talking about the weather. "In fact, it's perfectly normal to try out both ways. Human sexuality-"

"Robin-chan!" Sanji covered his ears. In any other context, he would have loved to hear the worldly Robin talk about these topics - but not in the context of the mosshead and this misunderstanding!

Robin took a sip, then put the cup down in front of her.

"But you seem a little hesitant to me. Why?" she asked bluntly and Sanji wanted the ground to open and swallow him. He looked away and turned the plate in his hands.

"Because he's a man, that's why," he mumbled, barely audible.

"And that's a problem, because ...?"

Sanji looked shocked.

"Robin-swan! I'm a gentleman! I want to lay the world at women's feet, as befits a true man! I'm not-"

He stopped.

"Gay?" Robin provided and Sanji hid his face behind the plate. Why did his pretty Robin have to put such words into her mouth? "I think we came across the real problem now. It seems to me that you have a distorted idea of what it means to be gay. Which you are not, by the way, I believe."

She sipped her coffee again while Sanji carefully set the plate down and sat down opposite her at the table.

"What am I then?" he asked tensely. Robin shrugged.

"You'll have to find out for yourself," was the frustrating answer. But her next words lacked every trace of friendliness in her voice. "But you should keep one thing in mind when looking for the answer: Zoro's feelings for you are as real as those between a man and a woman. So think twice before approaching him again."

Sanji swallowed. He felt shrunken under her hard eyes. He noticed that he was wringing his hands and hid them quickly under the table. Robin sighed.

"All right then. I'll help you," she said and Sanji's head shot up. "You should answer a few questions for yourself. For example, would really change that much?"

"Of course - I mean, I've never - I never wanted-"

"I don't mean that." She calmly took another sip of coffee. "You and Zoro - you are already very close. Everyone can see how much you mean to him. And if I'm not mistaken, you feel the same way."

His first instinct was to shake his head, but instead, he only stared at her with wide eyes. He longed for a cigarette. But he doubted that he’d get it even lit at the moment.

"That little extra step that Zoro desires ... are you so averse to it? You've kissed, haven't you?"

"Robin!" Sanji blushed, but she kept talking.

"What did you feel at that moment?"

Under the table, Sanji kneaded his hands. It had all been so fast, he hadn't had time to think about it.

"You don’t need to answer me, but just think about it. Without any prejudices. Think about what _you_ want."

It had only been for a brief moment, but he had tasted sake. His lips had been rough, the kiss almost hard, leaving a tingle on his own. Zoro's voice-

A shiver passed over him.

"But he's a man!" Sanji exclaimed and winced, he hadn’t wanted to be that loud. What if someone heard them? "I mean, I love _women_. I can't just stop that now."

"And who says you have to do that?"

Robin took a long drink from her cup. Sanji could not help but observe her; the way her long fingers encircled the cup, a strand of her shiny hair falling over her shoulder. His heart pounded as he imagined what it would be like if he let his fingers slide through it. What was a head of unkempt moss against that? He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"No one is asking you to change." She got up and put the cup in the sink. "All I ask of you is to examine the aspects of yourself that you're prohibiting yourself from."

He heard her leave the kitchen, her soft footsteps barely audible.

Maybe he refused to take a closer look at the one or another aspect of himself. Ivankov had once said something similar to him and he had spent two long years not giving in because some things were better kept secret. He had decency. There were many things he would like to do, but he would never bother a lady with his darkest fantasies. And certainly not a guy!

Robin's words were surely wise, but he still wouldn’t follow them.

* * *

A few days later, Franky came to the kitchen when Sanji was about to put lunch on the table. Everyone else was already sitting at the table, as well as Evie and her father who didn’t leave out any meal.

"I'm done!" he announced loudly and posed. Then Sanji saw the prosthesis he held in his hand and everyone looked at him as Evie jumped up and ran for him. Franky grinned at her. "Do you want to put it on now? It's _awesome_!" Excited, Evie nodded.

Sanji watched them. Evie held her arm out and pulled her sleeve back so her stump was exposed. It was not sewn as neatly as his own, the skin having red scars and being padded. Franky pushed the prosthesis over it and fastened it so that it covered her entire forearm. It was just a simple solution to grab, without any fingers, but it would improve her life significantly.

The heat from the pot Sanji was holding in his hands burned through the towel and he hurried to the table to set it down.

"Try to move it," he heard Franky say. There was an expression of concentration on Evie's face and she pressed her lips together. Suddenly, the prosthesis jerked and the two sides snapped together. "Haha, that was a bit bumpy, but I bet you'll learn it really quick!"

Evie stared wide-eyed at her hand. Her mouth trembled and Sanji saw her eyes shimmer, then all of a sudden she turned to Franky and threw herself into his arms.

"Thank you!"

Franky put his arms around her. It was a strange sight, the little girl and the giant cyborg, but Sanji couldn’t help but look.

Suddenly, Mark got up and walked over to Franky. All eyes were on him as he stood in front of him. He looked him straight in the eye for a moment and then let his gaze wander over the crew; Luffy, whose fingers were already on the pot, Nami and Robin, who smiled at him kindly, Brook, who had tears in his eyes and made a joke about it.

"I can't thank you enough," he finally said. "You helped me and Evie a lot. How can I ever make it up to you?"

"By finally doing what you want!" Luffy shouted, his cheeks stuffed with food. The rest of the crew laughed and Sanji's mouth twitched. That was so typical of Luffy.

Evie broke away from Franky and approached her father who put an arm around her. She didn't utter a word, but Sanji felt they were communicating something very important anyway.

"Let's eat! I'm hungry!" Luffy interrupted the moment and everyone was fighting for the leftovers - the captain had managed to devour almost half of the pot alone.

After dinner, the crew members gradually left the kitchen, leaving a battlefield behind. Sanji sighed when he saw the stains on the table and the dirty plates and started to clean up. Then he saw Evie who was still sitting at the table.

"Can I bring you something else?" Sanji asked in surprise. "Would you like some hot cocoa?"

Evie nodded which didn’t surprise him. She and Mark had never declined any offer of food before, a habit that certainly came from their poverty. With practiced movements, he mixed cocoa powder into a glass of fresh milk, heated it and handed it to her. She took a long drink and the milk left a white streak over her mouth. He chuckled.

Collecting the plates, he put them in the hot rinse water. The kitchen was pleasantly quiet.

"You're leaving soon, right?" Evie asked suddenly. His hands stopped in the middle of their movement and he turned partly around to her. Evie was still sitting at the table, her hands pressed hard against the glass. Her right hand was made of metal and did not quite touch the glass, but otherwise it almost filled the mould unobtrusively.

Sanji kept his hands in the rinse water as he answered. He was strangely aware of the unnatural pressure on his knees wrapped in his own prostheses.

"Yes," he replied curtly. "We have a long journey ahead of us."

"Will we meet again?"

Sanji shrugged.

"Who knows. Stranger things have happened."

Evie blinked at him.

"What happened to _you_?" she asked straight away, pointing to his legs.

Sanji froze. Of course Evie was curious, but it had never occurred to him that she had never asked him about them. His throat suddenly felt dry. He swallowed.

"An accident," he murmured curtly. Zoro's swords, his legs like butter-

"Did you work in a mine, too?"

Sanji shook his head and shrugged.

"No ..." he began slowly. His tongue felt fuzzy. "A friend ... was not paying attention. He was too fast and I was in his way. I've not even felt it. It was an accident," he repeated and suddenly a huge knot dissolved in his stomach which had to have been there forever, he just had never noticed it. An accident.

_An accident_.

He had repeated that mantra so often in his head, but it had never arrived properly. When he had looked at Zoro, his thoughts had returned to this scene again and again, if only for a tiny moment, the whirring of his swords through the air, the cutting through flesh and bone, Zoro's wide, shocked eyes, a never-ending tape.

But Zoro was not to blame. No one could have reacted better than him, but there simply hadn't been enough time to divert the course of his katana. It had been inevitable.

"Sanji?"

Evie came up next to him and he noticed that he had stared into the sink for a while. He blinked and then looked at her.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"This friend," she began as she drew patterns in the water on the counter, "is Zoro, right?"

Sanji jumped.

"What makes you think that?"

Evie gripped her prosthetic hand tightly.

"He always seems so sad when he looks at you."

Sanji lowered his head. He remembered well how Zoro had fallen to his knees before him that night, his forehead pressed against the cold wooden floorboards. He hadn't been able to grant him forgiveness at the time. But there hadn't been anything to forgive.

He raised his head. Evie was still standing in front of him, clutching her prosthetic. Tentatively, he raised his hand.

"May I?" he asked and she nodded and held her arm to him.

He dried his hands and then carefully grasped her arm. Pale skin, even paler than his own, blue veins shimmering through it. He could clasp her arm with one hand, as skinny as she was, even though he had made an effort to change that in the last few days. Franky's prosthesis wrapped around her arm just before the pointy elbow. The metal still shone like new when he turned her arm to look at the prosthesis from all sides. The fingers were not fully mobile, but he had seen her doing simple gripping movements with them. She would not be able to write with it or anything else complicated, but she could hold things or open doors.

He sent her a questioning look and she nodded, only then did he use his own fingers to stroke along the inside of her forearm, the flat edge of the prosthesis, and finally her artificial hand.

"Are you happy with it?" he finally asked, releasing her. Evie looked at him blankly.

"Of course! Aren't you happy with your legs?"

Sanji looked down at himself. He wore khaki trousers that only reached down to his knees, the prostheses beneath them still alien, though he didn’t shudder at the sight of them.

"Can I touch them?" Evie asked suddenly. He hesitated. He had never allowed that anyone except Chopper. But Evie had been through something similar as him. And she didn’t seem to have any problems with it. Hesitantly, he nodded.

She squatted in front of him and touched his left prosthesis with her healthy hand. For some reason he expected to feel her touch, but of course there was nothing there. He had no nerves there, only cold steel.

"Franky went through a lot of trouble with it." Evie smiled as she stood up again. "Well, if I were you, I would be _super_ satisfied!"

Sanji grimaced as the unusual word came out of her mouth, Franky obviously had too much influence on her.

"But ... don't you sometimes miss your old hand?" he asked doubtfully. Evie bit her lip.

"Yeah, of course I do. But my right hand is gone forever." She shrugged and then looked startled. "I have to go now - Franky wanted to show me his coke machine!"

Sanji waved after her as she hurried out of the kitchen and rolled his eyes. He finished the rest of the plates and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. His knees ached from standing as long as he had and he knew he should take them off. But first, he needed five minutes for himself and a cigarette.

He stepped onto the deck and fumbled a pack of cigarettes and his lighter out of his pocket. The sun was high in the sky, warming the deck just enough to stay outside without freezing. In fact, he saw Zoro snoring in a corner, arms crossed behind his head. His heart made a somersault. With trembling hands, he brought the cigarette to his mouth and took a deep drag, his eyes searching for another point to hold on to.

On the other side of the deck, near the mast, Usopp was sitting in the midst of some components and screws and was tinkering with something. Purposeful, he approached him, if only to prove to himself that he did not let Zoro's presence chase him away.

"Hey," he greeted him when he had almost reached him. Usopp flinched and then turned to face him.

"Oh, hey, Sanji." He scratched his head awkwardly. "Did not hear you coming."

Sanji dropped onto the deck beside him and stretched out his legs.

"What are you working on?" Presumably, Usopp's explanation would go over his head, but he also didn't want to just sit in silence.

"Oh, this is going to be a new weapon. I hope so anyway, but nothing works as it should!" Usopp laughed, a bit too loud, and Sanji wondered what kind of problem he had.

His legs were throbbing.

Damn, he really should take them off. But in front of Usopp? That'd almost feel like he'd take off his clothes in front of him - but that was nonsense, wasn't it? Usopp knew that he didn’t have any real legs, like everyone on the ship, so it shouldn’t be a damn problem. He snorted.

He leaned forward and pressed the button that released the vacuum between the prostheses and his thighs. The relief came immediately and he closed his eyes for a moment to bask in it. When he opened them again, he saw Usopp staring at him.

"What?"

Usopp flinched and eagerly returned to his work while Sanji's eyebrows furrowed.

"Should I put them back on?" he finally asked, because Usopp's discomfort was pretty obvious. But the sniper shook his head vehemently.

"No, I - sorry, I only - I'm sorry."

Sanji blinked at him, confused.

"What are you sorry for?"

"That I stared at you, of course," Usopp said, scratching his head again, a sign of nervousness, Sanji now realized.

"I can put them back on, if you want," Sanji finally said, leaning forward to do just that, but Usopp threw himself forward and stopped him.

"No no! That's not necessary! You don't need to do that, not because of me-"

"Usopp, what's going on?" Sanji interrupted him and Usopp stopped immediately. Only then he seemed to realize that he was practically lying on his thighs, pale as chalk and frantically scrambled up again.

He looked at the floor, then at his surrounding components, then his eyes flickered back to him for a moment, only to look again elsewhere. Sanji bit his cigarette, annoyed, and immediately regretted it, the taste of bitter tobacco spreading on his tongue.

"Sorry," Usopp squeaked and then admitted, "I just don't know how to handle it."

So that was the heart of the matter. Sanji remembered all those moments when something had bothered him - Nami who had pushed Zoro aside and shoved him to the table without asking, Luffy's insensitive questions. Usopp had never bothered him.

"I'm still me," he said after a while. Usopp still looked like he wanted to let the ground swallow him.

"Yes, but ... I don't want to stare at you."

Just an hour ago he had asked Evie if he could touch her prosthesis out of curiosity and she had asked him the same question.

"I don't have a problem with that," he said and realized that it was true. "You - you can even touch them if you want. Or talk to me about it. It's - it's okay."

Usopp stared at him with wide eyes.

"For _real_?"

He still seemed to be waiting for some confirmation from him, so Sanji nodded.

"So - um ... is it still hurting? Because you pulled them off and you're rubbing your knees all the time ..."

He hadn't noticed. In fact, he was massaging his right knee which felt like a bruise right now. Somehow it surprised him that this was Usopp's first question.

"If I walk around for more than half a day, it’s exhausting," he admitted. "Feels like something is pushing against my knees."

"Oh, why didn't you say so earlier? I can certainly do something for that!"

He had honestly never thought of that - he had simply accepted it as part of his new life.

The next hour Sanji spent with him on the deck. Usopp poked him with questions - now that he had his official permission, the questions just spurted out of him. The strange thing was that Sanji did not seem to have any problem with that, which surprised him. As if he'd only needed someone who talked so openly with him about it.

"It's still defeats me how you can feel something there!" Usopp thought aloud while he cleared his things.

"Believe me, I don't get it either." Sanji squeezed out the rest of his last cigarette and pulled the prostheses towards him. It was time to prepare dinner. "But it doesn't bother me that much anymore. It's just so _confusing_. But the prostheses help. With them I know that I can't feel anything and somehow ... it's easier to process for my brain? I don't know."

Usopp laughed and watched with fascination as he put on the prostheses again. Sanji got on his feet a bit awkwardly. He had to get used to it again.

He looked at Usopp who had his arms full of metal parts.

For some reason he wanted to say thank you, but it didn't come over his lips.

"What would you like to eat tonight?" he asked instead.


	13. Chapter 13

Bathed in sweat, Sanji woke up, seeing the afterimage of his dream for another second. He blinked, groped for his lighter and lit it up. The small flame barely brightened the darkness of the sleeping cabin, just a small ball of light which just reached the next hammock.

His pulse was still racing and he stroked his flat hair, concentrating on the sounds around him. Quiet snoring and the creaking of the ship, wind that shook the sails and the sloshing of the waves. His skin was cold and damp and when he lifted the blanket he noticed that he had completely sweated through it.

He grimaced and grabbed the prostheses. He wouldn't be able to fall asleep now anyway.

As quietly as he could, he sneaked out of the sleeping cabin and into the bathroom. There, he leaned exhausted against the cold bathroom wall and closed his eyes. A mistake - immediately, he opened them wide as the images from his dream rose up in him again. He undressed hectically, leaned the prostheses against the wall next to the shower and turned the water on. It was freezing cold, but that was exactly what he needed, and he sat under it and scrubbed his skin until it was red and free of sweat.

Tiredness tugged on his eyelids as he finally pulled himself out of the shower and wiped himself dry. Looking at the heap of clothes he had carelessly thrown away, he realized that he hadn't brought anything new to wear. But he didn’t want to put on the sweat-soaked clothes again. His gaze slid to the opposite wall, on which a row of bathrobes hung (Robin’s, Nami’s and his own one, the rest of the crew did not have enough decency to even own such a thing).

First, he put on the prostheses and then the bathrobe and crept out of the bathroom. He felt strangely naked, but it was still quiet on the ship. It had to be the middle of the night, the sky black and the air outside ice-cold. He breathed little clouds into the air as he hurried across the deck to his kitchen.

He turned on the light. Now he had to pass the time until he had to prepare breakfast. Maybe he could bake a bread, that took some time and he didn't have much of it anymore. He could offer some sandwiches as an afternoon snack. Nodding to himself, he got the ingredients for it from the pantry, putting on a pot of coffee at the same time - which he would need if he didn't want to fall asleep again.

He had both arms up to his elbows in the bread dough when the door behind him suddenly opened. He turned around briefly and then rolled his eyes.

"Can't someone have one’s peace even at night," he asked as Zoro approached and looked suspiciously into the dough bowl.

"Can't sleep?" He popped his index finger into the dough and licked it off. Sanji grimaced.

"Leave your dirty mitts out of that! Others want to eat it." He ignored the question - wasn't it obvious when he baked bread in the middle of the night?

Zoro looked at him, unimpressed.

"You look like you're going to fall over any moment," he said and pushed the coffee cup away from him. "Why are you drinking coffee in the middle of the night?"

"Because I'll fall asleep otherwise, stupid."

"That's what most people _do_ at night, curlybrow."

Sanji gritted his teeth.

"Then why don't you take your own advice and go to sleep? You know, like _most_ people."

"I heard someone taking a shower and woke up," Zoro said while sceptically looking at his bathrobe.

Shit. So he had been too loud after all. He formed the dough into a loaf of bread, cut it at regular intervals and then placed the bread into the oven. While ignoring Zoro. Didn't he want nothing to do with him anymore? So why had he followed him here?

Still keeping silent, he washed his fingers with hot water. As he turned around, Zoro held out the towel to him without saying a word. He grabbed it and then went to the fridge, took out the open bottle of sake, then turned around to Zoro and shoved it into his hand.

"Here, take this. And now bugger off."

Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? It's the middle of the night. A little early to start drinking, isn't it?"

Sanji snorted in disbelief.

"Don't tell me you actually have standards when it comes to drinking."

Zoro actually put the bottle back and then leaned against the fridge, his arms crossed in front of his body.

"Well. What's the matter?" he asked and Sanji rolled his eyes.

"And what makes you think I'll tell you?"

Zoro's mouth twitched.

"So there is something to tell."

"Obviously. I'm up in the middle of the night. But it's none of your business."

"You’re my nakama. Of course it's my business."

Sanji ran hot water into the used bowl and started washing off the remaining dough before it hardened.

"Weren't you going to ignore me?" he asked him, one last hope that he would leave him alone.

"Don't change the subject." Zoro stood beside him, so close that he could feel his body heat. "Why can't you sleep?"

Sanji stopped.

"You know why."

"Vane?"

He nodded. He knew it was bullshit and he also knew Zoro thought it was bullshit.

"That’s why you can’t fall asleep?" Zoro kept drilling. Sanji shook his head.

"I fell asleep without a problem, but ..." He scraped off a stubborn piece of dough sticking on the bowl.

"A dream then?"

Sanji pulled up his shoulders and stared intensively into the bowl.

"Yeah."

How stupid to be afraid of a dream. Now, at least an hour after waking up, he could barely remember the details of it, but the oppressive feeling with which he started up from his sleep remained.

"I know it makes no sense. Vane's dead. There's no reason to be afraid anymore, but-" He swallowed. He didn't want to cry in front of Zoro, what would he think of him?

"I've thought about it, too," Zoro interrupted the silence. "I'm still mad at Vane, even though he's dead. It doesn't make sense, does it?" He scratched his neck. "But feelings can't be turned off just like that."

At least Zoro was angry with Vane - something positive. You could do something with anger, you could act with it. Fear only made him freeze, made him unable to do anything or sleep through the night.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore." Exhausted, Sanji leaned against the counter and pressed his forehead against the door of the kitchen cabinet. He wanted to sleep.

"That's bullshit," Zoro suddenly said next to him, but he didn't look up. "It's important to be afraid. If you’re not afraid of your opponent you’re an idiot."

Sanji snorted in disbelief.

"As if you were ever afraid of anyone," he mocked, his forehead still leaning against the cabinet.

"Of course I am!" Now Zoro approached, he could sense the smell of sleep on him, a mixture of salt and something he couldn’t define. "But I also have faith in my abilities. And if I wasn't afraid, I'd get careless. Not being afraid is not a sign of courage - it's just a sign of stupidity."

Sanji glanced at him through half closed eyelids. Zoro stood close to him, still wearing the same shirt as the last three days. His right arm was laying on the counter. Slowly, Sanji let his gaze wander upwards, broad shoulders and a brawny neck, three flashing earrings, the hair on his temples trimmed short. Zoro's golden eyes watched him silently, slight shadows underneath, as if he hadn't slept much.

He leaned to the side before he realized what he was doing and Zoro's eyes widened as he turned halfway to him and touched Zoro's lips with his own. The taste of sake, like last time.

He flinched back, tripped, but Zoro wrapped one arm around his back before he could fall, the heat of his hand burning through the thin fabric of his bathrobe. Suddenly, they stood way too close together, Zoro's breath warm on his cheeks, the pupils in his eyes so huge that only a narrow strip of his iris was visible.

He tried to push him away for a moment or two, but then Zoro put the other arm around him and pulled him towards him until they were pressed together from head to toe.

Sanji was breathing quickly. There didn't seem to be enough air in his lungs. Zoro's cheeks and ears were red and clashing with the green of his hair, but a determined expression had appeared in his eyes. His heart seemed to stop as he brought his face the final distance closer and kissed him back.

His mouth was warm and soft, so different from what he would have expected from a man, and slowly moved against his. He inhaled through his nose and his hands on Zoro's chest became limp, feeling the warmth of his body through his clothes as heat accumulated deep inside his belly. He was so close to him that he could hear Zoro’s breath, as fast and excited as his own.

One of Zoro's hands stroked up his spine, catching on the strands of hair in his neck and wrapping it around his finger.

For a short moment, Zoro leaned away and Sanji sucked his breath in before Zoro kissed him again, the pressure on his lips more insistent this time. Suddenly, he felt the kitchen counter against his hip, Zoro pressed him against it and he tried to protest, but when he opened his mouth a bit, Zoro's tongue dipped into his mouth. Lightning flashed through his spine and he froze while Zoro let his tongue slide along his own.

But then Zoro broke away from kissing him, still pressing himself against Sanji who opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) and looked at him, dazed.

"Everything okay?" Zoro asked of all things. Sanji didn't know which words would have been more inappropriate. Zoro's cheeks were glowing and Sanji wondered what he himself had to look like after-

Oh, god. Why.

"I should-" He tried to push him away. Zoro urged him closer to the counter.

"Sanji."

Sanji glanced at him.

"What keeps you from this?" Zoro asked, his voice rough.

Sanji swallowed. His heart was still racing, his body smouldering and his legs shaking. He licked his lips and saw Zoro's eyes flicker down for a moment before fixating him again. Zoro’s hand slipped to his ear and wandered down to his neck, then he bent forward and kissed him on the cheek. Sanji held still, hands clutching at Zoro's shirt, while Zoro brushed his lips over his cheek and over the sharp edge of his chin.

The heat in his belly grew stronger and he felt treacherous pressure between his legs. Zoro's breath brushed over his ear.

"Come on," he whispered.

Something in Sanji gave in.

With his heart pounding, he leaned forward and laid his forehead on Zoro's shoulder, noticing the familiar smell of him as he breathed in, salt and clay. Zoro inhaled and hugged him tighter; a slight trembling went through his body and Sanji pressed his face into the crook of his neck. He sensed the gentle rocking of the Sunny under him. Apart from the quiet creaking of the wooden boards and the slowing thumping in Zoro's chest, it was completely silent.

For the first time, he realized Zoro was really serious. When he opened his eyes, he saw the hair in Zoro’s neck raising. Because of _him_. Because he was embracing him and because they had kissed. Zoro had a thing for _him_.

"Is everything okay?" Zoro murmured again and for some reason this sentence punched him right in the stomach.

He nodded, even though Zoro couldn’t see it, but apparently he felt the movement on his neck. But instead of letting him go, Zoro just squeezed him briefly and continued to hold him.

It was weird hugging him. After a while, the rhythm of his heart slowed down to a normal pace, leaving only the feeling that had made him reach for his hand. Zoro's breath puffed warmly over his neck. The chest under his hands was neither soft nor delicate and he lightly pressed against it to test the hardness of the muscles underneath. God, Zoro really was a muscleman. Why the hell didn't he find that repulsive?

Zoro brushed his nose through his hair.

"I'm tired," he muttered. "Shouldn't we go back to sleep?"

This sentence gave him completely different thoughts. Sanji cleared his throat and mumbled in Zoro's shirt, "I’ve got some bread in the oven."

Zoro grumbled, but let him be. Their eyes met and Sanji looked quickly aside. He wasn't ready for that. Zoro scratched his neck.

"Then I'll sleep here," he muttered, his eyes already half closed.

Sanji bit his lip. Zoro glanced at him again, then bent over and brushed a fleeting kiss on his lips before he sat down on one of the bar stools and laid his head on his arms. Sanji watched him for a moment, then swirled around and checked the bread in the oven, which slowly took on a golden crust.

He had kissed him. Zoro had kissed him. He had _made out_ with him.

Sanji rubbed his hands over his face; he hadn’t even come this far with a woman. Carefully, he looked over his shoulder and at Zoro, but he had his eyes closed and snored quietly. Apparently, he was asleep already.

God, was he gay now?

He fished a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it before he went to the fridge and indiscriminately pulled out some ingredients. Robin hadn’t thought he was gay. But it wasn't straight to make out with a man either.

His lips tingled as if Zoro was still kissing him and he wanted to rub over them hastily to get rid of the feeling - but at the last moment, he paused. He’d kissed Zoro first. He had taken the fucking first step, just as Zoro had asked him to.

So he had brought all of this on himself.

Behind himself, Zoro took a sharp breath and turned to him. Had he woken up? Zoro's cheek pressed against the palm of his hand; the posture looked pretty uncomfortable. But he still seemed to be asleep.

He touched his lips with one hand. He definitely didn't regret kissing Zoro.

He looked at the ingredients he'd taken from the fridge and sighed. What the hell would he do with this?

* * *

If someone from the crew noticed that he was a bit upset, no one would let on. Sanji had tried several times to prepare a healthy, balanced breakfast, but had failed again and again. He was just too _distracted_.

He would certainly have worked better if the reason for his distraction wouldn’t have been no less than two metres away from him. Now he had to be content with simple scrambled eggs and bacon, which he hadn't even managed very well.

Lunch and dinner were similar. He kept giving Zoro covert looks and damn, why did he suddenly notice the stupidest things? For example, how Zoro secretly helped Chopper to defend his food from Luffy or the little scar on his ear or the goddamn shape of his nose.

He was not surprised when Zoro was the only one left after dinner, explaining that he would help him with the dishes.

Dipping his hands in the rinse water, he started washing off the first plate as Zoro stood behind him and hugged him. Sanji froze for a breath or two before exhaling, trembling.

He put the towel in Zoro’s hand. Zoro grumbled, but let him go and began to dry the plates. The two of them were quickly done. Sanji looked indecisively around the kitchen; his eyes glided over the cleanly wiped table and the neatly lined up chairs without looking at Zoro.

"So ..." Zoro stepped beside him. "Do you want … to come to the crow's nest?"

He had completely forgotten that Zoro had the watch this night. Alone in the crow's nest - they would be completely undisturbed there. His heart rate accelerated, but he nodded and went to the fridge. Zoro would probably want sake again. But as soon as he had taken the sake out of the fridge, Zoro took the bottle out of his hand and put it back. His ears glowed slightly when he looked at him.

"No alcohol. I don't need it today," he said and took his hand.

Sanji tried to keep up with him as Zoro pulled him out of the kitchen and across the deck, but his legs felt weak. Fortunately, nobody was outside thanks to the icy temperatures. As they climbed up the mast, Zoro had to let go of his hand and he missed it immediately - especially because his hands got stiff on the cold ropes within seconds.

It was much warmer in the crow's nest. Sanji closed the door behind him and stood indecisively in the room while Zoro went to the windowsill. Sanji followed him hesitantly. What would the evening bring? Part of him hoped that Zoro wouldn’t suddenly pounce on him, but for some reason a tiny part of him was hoping for another kiss from him.

His thoughts racing, he sat down beside him. The windowsill was cold under him and he shuddered. Zoro seemed to notice it and reached for a blanket, shook it out and then laid it over his shoulders. Then he took a corner of the blanket, moved even closer to him and wrapped both of them up in it.

Sanji looked out the ice-crusted window and hardly dared to breathe. Next to him Zoro radiated heat and the crazy urge to touch his hand came up in him. He glanced to the left without moving his head. Zoro didn't look at him, but rather out of the window at the sea. Slowly, Sanji pushed his hand towards him until one of his fingertips touched Zoro's hand. Zoro shrugged a little and turned to him; the blanket threatened to slip from his shoulders and Sanji took his hand, his knuckles warm and rough under his fingers.

It was all so surreal and strange and exciting. He felt his heartbeat in his throat, a constant throbbing that cut off his air.

Zoro lowered his head onto his shoulder. Sanji peered down, an uncomfortable angle, and looked at the green hair tips that almost poked him into the eye. Zoro kept his eyes closed, but the deep wrinkle that had formed between his eyebrows during the last two years was barely visible. It reminded him of the man he had known before the crew's violent separation.

"I never thought you were a cuddly guy," Sanji finally mumbled into the silence. Because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He bit his lip and wished he could take it back. Zoro squeezed his hand and briefly kissed the side of his neck, which sent a shiver down Sanji's back.

"If it bothers you, all you have to do is say so," he replied. Sanji looked straight out of the window.

"No, no, it's - okay."

Zoro laughed to himself; Sanji could feel it, the slight vibration at his side and the sudden warmth in his cheeks. Next to him, Zoro moved unexpectedly and suddenly he felt his mouth on the spot right behind his ear.

"This also okay?"

Sanji didn’t answer, but strengthened the grip around his hand, and apparently Zoro didn’t need any more confirmation, for the next moment he placed an open-mouthed kiss on the same spot. Sanji's breath hitched, but he kept staring out at the sea, while Zoro brushed his mouth along his throat and covered it with little kisses. His fingers slipped into Sanji's hair and massaged his scalp and Sanji's legs crossed involuntarily as he felt heat rising inside him.

It was almost completely black outside, only the flickering light shining from Robin’s and Nami's room window lit up a small spot of water sloshing against the bow. The island itself, which he could see when he slightly moved his head, was immersed in deep darkness. He almost thought he saw some movement, but he knew it was just his imagination. Just like his dream. Just a bygone spook.

"What is it?" Zoro raised his head and looked at him forcefully. Sanji shook his head.

"It's nothing."

Zoro pulled his eyebrows together.

"There's something." He stood up and this time the blanket actually fell off his shoulders. Immediately, it became colder and Sanji wrapped his arms around himself. He crossed his legs the other way around because he didn't want Zoro to notice his current state. Zoro embraced his left hand with both his own. "What's the matter?"

Sanji glanced out again for a second.

" _Nothing_. It's stupid." He tried to take his hand away, but Zoro held on to it.

"Tell me."

Sanji swallowed and finally looked at him.

"Vane," he finally whispered and was ready for Zoro to roll his eyes or something like that. But he remained silent and waited for him to continue. "I _know_ he's dead. I killed him - but somehow I still feel like I'm being watched."

There, he said it. His mind told him that he was paranoid and there was nothing to worry about, but that didn't help this oppressive feeling. Zoro kissed the corner of his mouth and briefly pressed his hand.

"I know what you mean," he said quietly. Sanji raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You've been thinking about him for the past few months. It's obvious that you can't shake it off so easily now."

Sanji nodded. Maybe he’d get that into his head someday. Suddenly, the corners of Zoro's mouth quirked up.

"How about I distract you a bit?"

Sanji held his breath as Zoro bent forward and kissed him, his lips a warm pressure on his own. He inhaled sharply through his nose and opened his eyes; Zoro's face was so close and he could watch him unimpeded as Zoro kept his eyes closed. Zoro moved his mouth against his own and he felt the tip of his tongue against his lips. Panic rose in him - he had no idea how to properly kiss - but then Zoro already pushed his tongue into his mouth. He gasped and Zoro took the opportunity to deepen the kiss even more. He tasted like the dinner he’d prepared and he let one hand wander to his neck and hold him there while the other one came to rest on his thigh, chasing a lightning bolt over his spine.

Sanji had no idea what to do with his hands and held them undecidedly between them. Should he touch him, too? Or was that too much? His fingers twitched; he _wanted_ to touch him, but where? Slowly, he reached out and skimmed the first thing he got a hold of, which was some part of Zoro’s chest, brushed over it with his open hand and Zoro made a little noise into the kiss. Encouraged, Sanji continued to move over the hard abdominal muscles, over his chest to his shoulder, on which he finally let his hand rest.

Zoro moved even closer to him until their legs were pressed together. A tight knot had formed inside his stomach and he couldn’t get enough air through his nose into his lungs. Zoro's hand slipped from his leg under his shirt and came into contact with his cold skin, his neck was tingling.

He clutched more firmly at Zoro's shoulder as he slowly and carefully reached out with his other hand, feeling the rough fabric of Zoro's shirt under his fingers and the warmth underneath as his chest rose and lowered with his fast breath. Zoro pulled him closer to him until his hand was caught between them and brushed his lips with his tongue. Panting, Sanji closed his eyes as he felt Zoro touch his stomach as if he wanted to explore every single inch.

Zoro's body was burning under his fingers and without thinking he let his hand slide down until he reached the hem of his shirt. Before his courage could leave him, he pushed his hand beneath it and Zoro sighed. Sanji's thoughts were muddled; Zoro's hot mouth on his, his tongue exploring the inside of his mouth and pressing against his own one, and of course he had known what a French kiss was, but not that it would sweep him off his feet like this.

Zoro's hand had slipped deeper without him noticing. Two of his fingers touched the waistband of his pants and Sanji gasped as they were suddenly pushed between the fabric and the skin of his hip, the roughness of Zoro’s fingertips a sharp contrast to the soft skin under his hip bone. The touch sent a lightning bolt directly between his legs and he pressed them tighter together, but the heat in his stomach didn’t ebb away.

Gently, Zoro nibbled on his lower lip and brushed his mouth over his cheek and to his ear. Sanji held perfectly still as he stroked past it with his nose. How could something so small feel so good and chase so many shivers down his back? His fingers trembled as he carefully touched Zoro's abdominal muscles and felt the fine hairs there, the bones of his clavicle and the wildly beating pulse on his neck. He followed the path of his scar, which ran across his chest; a long line of knotty, poorly healed skin.

Zoro suddenly broke away from him. Startled, Sanji opened his eyes, only to watch Zoro pull his shirt over his head and carelessly throw it aside. Zoro smiled lopsided at him and pulled him back to himself and Sanji almost forgot to breathe, putting both hands on his smouldering skin, captivated by the contrast between the white of his fingers and the tanned bronze tone which Zoro didn’t even lost in the deepest winter.

He gasped as Zoro unexpectedly kissed him and pushed him back, the cold glass window pressed against his back. His tongue pushed back into his mouth and plundered it before even a word of protest could come out; his fingers were resting on both sides of his hips and held him while a knee slid between his legs. Zoro was practically in his lap and Sanji held his hands hesitantly over him before he laid them on his back and pulled him closer to him. Zoro's knee was pushed further forward, pressing against his boner, and Sanji moaned.

He could literally feel Zoro’s grin against his mouth as he himself froze with shame. Now there was no chance that Zoro hadn't felt - or heard - how excited he was. Zoro's fingers slid back into his waistband and stroked the sensitive area just below his hip bone, while the knee between his legs moved slightly back and forth. Sanji breathed fast through his nose, his fingers clawed into Zoro's back as Zoro's hand slowly worked its way to the middle of his body.

Suddenly, he felt his pants loosening and realized at the same moment that Zoro had opened his button and was about to pull his zipper down. He wondered how he should even take his pants off when Zoro was sitting on him, not to mention that he couldn’t pull them so well over the prostheses-

With a violent move, he pushed Zoro away.

Zoro yelped and fell to the floor, while Sanji hectically buttoned his pants again.

"What the hell-" Zoro started, but he didn't listen to him. His chest hurt when he tried to stand up, but his body was not as fast as his head and his erection had still not disappeared, even though it was not as strong as a few seconds ago.

Zoro pulled himself up on the bench he was sitting on and rubbed his ass.

"What was that, curlybrow?"

His cheeks were still red and his hair tousled and Sanji felt the strong urge to grab and kiss him again, but that would probably send some quite confusing signals.

Instead, he scrubbed with both hands over his face.

"'m sorry."

He kept his hands in front of his face. Damn it, now Zoro probably thought he was a complete idiot.

"I thought you wanted it, too," Zoro suddenly mumbled into the silence, and shit, that's not why he pushed him away. His knees were throbbing in tune with his pulse. He peered at Zoro and saw him staring straight at the middle of the room, nervously raking his fingers through his hair so that they were even more messed up. "So ... I'm sorry if I was too quick for you. I was just so happy that it finally worked out ... you know ... with us."

Zoro's cheeks caught fire while he was talking and Sanji felt a little smile pulling on the corners of his mouth. He put his head on Zoro’s shoulder and felt him exhale with relief.

"Just keep your fingers above my belt for now, okay?"

Oh, how much he wanted it. He wanted his hands all over his body, wanted to make this wonderful heat his own. But half a body wasn't enough. He felt Zoro's hand over his own and let him slowly pull it to him.

"Okay," Zoro mumbled into his ear. "Let's slow things down."

* * *

"Sanji! I’m hungryyyy!"

Sanji gave Luffy an annoyed look over his shoulder as he prepared the huge sea king fillet. Luffy sat on one of the bar stools with his arms stretched out along the entire length of the counter and hungrily watched the fish. Drool ran out from the corner of his mouth - Sanji hit him on the head with the spatula.

"Stop drooling in my kitchen, idiot!"

"But I'm hungry! When will there finally be something to eat?"

"You just had a snack-"

"But that was far too little and now I'm even more hungry," Luffy sulked and had the audacity to stick his tongue out. Sanji just rolled his eyes and decided to ignore him (at least his whining; although he roughly knocked away the long fingers which were about to grab a piece of the still raw fish).

Something like normalcy had returned to the Sunny. At least as much normalcy as a crew like theirs could have. They hadn't left yet because Franky wanted to make a few final changes to Evie’s prosthesis. This only benefited his dearest Nami-chan, as she could still map the islands in peace. Robin-swan also used the time to learn more about the history of the islands and their people from the inhabitants. The others were busy as usual - Brook had woken them up this morning with a particularly terrible song, Usopp was working on his new weapon and Zoro was training until he was exhausted.

Sanji almost cut his finger when his thoughts suddenly wandered to the mosshead. He’d kissed him willingly, had even _made out_ with him! Two days had passed since all this had happened, almost two weeks after he had defeated Vane.

He still couldn't believe he had defeated him that easily. But Zoro was right. He had talked to him about it from time to time in the last few days and Zoro had convinced him that he was just paranoid. After all that had happened, it was only natural not to be able to put an immediate end to it. Or something like that.

He looked down at himself. His prostheses were freshly cleaned and reflected the light from the kitchen lamp. He had almost forgotten what it was like to look at two shiny polished shoes instead. When had this become the norm?

With practiced hand movements, he sprinkled freshly chopped thyme, salt and pepper from the mill onto the fillets and then placed them one after another in the hot pan.

"Sanji." Behind him, Luffy's voice had suddenly become serious. His neck hair stood up and he turned around. Luffy looked at him seriously, then suddenly he grinned broadly and proclaimed, "I’m happy that you feel better again!"

Sanji evaded his gaze and took a pull on his cigarette. That was typical of Luffy: He put the most complicated things into the simplest words.

"Yeah ... me too," he muttered and Luffy laughed - but suddenly his laughter sounded as if he had stuffed something in his mouth and when he whipped his head around, he saw that Luffy had stolen a piece of fish from his pan. "You fucker! That's still raw!"

"Dsho yummy, Dchanji!" Luffy smacked. Sanji came after him, but he evaded him without any problems.

"Hands off, you greedy bastard!"

Luffy ran out of the kitchen laughing, just as Zoro came in and looked at their captain with an indefinable expression on his face.

"Couldn't defend the food from him?" he then asked and pointed his thumb in the direction Luffy had disappeared in.

"Shut up, Marimo." Sanji turned back to his fish. He heard Zoro walk past him and let his right prosthesis move to the side before Zoro could get to the fridge. "No alcohol before dinner!"

"Come on, just a little bit! I'm thirsty!"

"Then drink water like normal people do."

Zoro stood beside him and looked into the pan.

"Don't I get special treatment?" From the corner of his eye, Sanji saw that Zoro's ears were glowing. He'd think it'd be cute if it didn't collide so terribly with his hair color.

He decided not to deign this question with an answer and flipped the fillets over.

"That looks good," Zoro mumbled, and Sanji's heart immediately beat faster. The mosshead never used to say anything about his cooking - especially nothing positive - and to hear it now while standing right next to him-

Or was that just his plan to soften him up so he could get to the liquor supply?

Suddenly, he felt Zoro's warm hand on his lower back. He swallowed and tried to concentrate on the fish.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a tense voice. When Zoro replied, he could practically hear the grin in his voice.

"Hope you become soft and give me the booze?"

"I _knew_ it!" Sanji shouted and tried to push him away, but Zoro wrapped his arm around him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I was only kidding," he whispered in his ear. "We hardly saw each other today."

Sanji tried to get his heartbeat under control again.

"And whose fault is that? You've been working out the whole time."

Zoro kissed his ear and let his mouth slide lower to nibble on his earlobe.

"I slacked a bit off, so I did two thousand more pushups today."

Sanji rolled his eyes. Only a muscleman like him would come up with such a stupid idea. His hackles raised as Zoro's breath brushed over his throat, followed by his mouth which gently grazed his neck. This, too, had become normality. Even if his heart was still beating wildly.

"Do we meet again at the usual time tonight?" Zoro muttered and rubbed his nose over Sanji’s chin.

"Why even ask when it's the usual time?"

His Adam's apple moved when he swallowed. There was that tingling again that he just couldn't get under control.

"Just wanted to make sure."

Zoro kissed him on the cheek and then looked at him, his face a fiery red. He grabbed his tie, pulled him even closer and pressed his lips on Sanji’s. Sanji breathed sharply through his nose; he would never get used to this feeling, even though they had often stolen kisses from each other in the last few days. Mostly it was Zoro who sneaked into the kitchen or stopped him briefly as he was passing by and left him panting a few minutes later. This fucking guy had too much fun making him horny.

Zoro's tongue touched his lips and Sanji opened his mouth, sighing as Zoro pushed his tongue into his mouth; in the last few days, the bastard had learned quickly. He should have known that a guy who could speak normally even with a sword in his mouth had to be a damn good kisser. A hand slid into his hair and pulled slightly on it; he gasped and Zoro used the moment to deepen the kiss and pressed him against the counter where Luffy had sat just moments before.

He breathed fast through his nose, but it seemed as if not enough air arrived in his brain while Zoro's hands stroked down his back like two burning planes. Shoving them into the back pockets of his pants, he groped his ass and Sanji gasped, but Zoro immediately closed his mouth again. His hands slipped out of his pockets again, but before he could react, Zoro had grabbed him beneath his butt and heaved him onto the counter.

Sanji managed to break away from the kiss.

"Zoro! If someone comes in-"

He gasped. Zoro had placed himself between his thighs, his head at the level of his shoulders. Now he released the tie completely and pushed the two top buttons of his shirt through the narrow holes and Sanji held his breath as he pushed the white fabric of his shirt to the side and leaned forward. His mouth landed right on his collarbone. Shit, he didn't know he had a weakness there. He bit his lip and looked down at the green hair. Zoro's arms still held him tightly and made sure that he couldn’t fall backwards, the tips of his fingers pressing warmly into the skin above his hip bone. He wanted to push his legs together so that Zoro wouldn’t notice his arousal, but unfortunately his position prevented this plan from succeeding.

Suddenly, Zoro lifted his head, just so far that his lips no longer touched his skin. Sanji saw the blush deepening on his face and crawling down over his neck and chest.

Shit, he'd noticed.

"You better not say something."

Sanji held perfectly still as Zoro slowly looked up at him. It was practically written all over his face that he wanted to continue - his lips pressed together, his pupils dilated - but this was neither the right time nor the right place.

Honestly, he had no idea if he would ever overcome this.

"Just ignore it," Sanji finally mumbled, grabbed Zoro’s neck and pulled him back to himself.

Zoro didn’t react immediately, instead puffing warm breath on his skin for a few heartbeats. But then he kissed his collarbone again, the spot sensitive from his previous caresses, and something in Sanji contracted. Zoro’s hands squeezed him briefly and then rested on his bare skin like a burning memory.

He couldn’t see them from this position, but that didn't make it any less real - that there weren’t any legs of flesh and blood below his knees anymore, but only steel. He had gotten used to it himself. But he didn't want to see the disgust on Zoro's face.

He tried to concentrate on Zoro again and raked his fingers through his untamed hair. Zoro hummed contentedly and Sanji let his hand wander over the back of his head to his neck.

"Oh, dear! Am I interrupting?"

They jumped apart. Quickly, Sanji hopped down from the counter and whirled around, although he had already recognized by the voice who had practically caught them in the act.

Robin lifted her hand in front of her mouth and leaned against the door frame, while Zoro held his hands in front of his lap. Sanji tried to straighten his tie with trembling fingers, but the damn knot just wouldn't hold. Robin giggled behind her hand and came up to him.

"Wait, let me," she said when she stood in front of him. She pushed his fingers aside and began to tie his tie as if she had never done anything else.

"What are you doing here, Robin?" Zoro hissed, his face still red as a tomato. Robin eyed him.

"I wanted to get a coffee before dinner. Or aren’t I allowed to anymore?" she purred. Sanji jumped in immediately - this idiot had no idea how to talk to a lady!

"Forgive me, Robin-chwan! I'll make you a coffee right now!" He rushed past Zoro, masking his erection as well and inconspicuously as possible. Luckily he had wide pants on, so maybe she wouldn't notice.

"Thank you, I can handle it." Robin put one hand on his shoulder and pushed him aside. His heart already wanted to beat faster because of the unexpected touch, but her next words made it stop. "I suggest you find another place if you don't want to be discovered yet." She put coffee powder into the machine and smiled at him. "Or wait until after dinner. Because this fish is burned."

Oh shit!

Sanji ran to the stove and hurriedly took the fish out of the pan, but he could already see that a good part of it was coal-black. Once again, he had managed to burn the damn food. Quickly, he went to the fridge, took a bottle of beer out of it and pressed it into Zoro's hand, scowling at him.

"Go!" He pushed him towards the door. "Go train or get drunk - or take a shower for a change, but go! I've got to save this somehow!"

Zoro let himself be pushed to the door willingly. Apparently, he had enough embarrassment for today. Or maybe he was just happy about the alcohol.

Sanji sighed and looked at the fish. What a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about the chapter :)  
> I couldn't hold back with the smooches ... ;3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers :3  
> Thanks for all the lovely comments, they really do make my day <3  
> I'm on a vacation for the next two weeks, so sadly there won't be any new updates until then. I hope you'll accept his humble offer, though ;3

Today was the day. That's what Zoro told himself - the day he would finally get the damn cook to go one step further. Like most of the time, he spent the day in the crow's nest, lifting weights with his feet while doing a handstand. He needed to grow stronger. Strength led to speed and speed to allowing him to outdo his opponents. Or to him being able to react faster.

So far, it had been worth it to be persistent with Sanji. Why was the curlybrow so coy? It was all completely new for him, too, but instead of retreating or stopping prematurely, he wanted to jump headfirst into this new adventure.

He only had to lift the weight twenty times more, then he would have reached his goal for today. With his teeth clenched, he kept counting in his head as beads of sweat ran down his face.

He just had to wait for a good moment. In the evening, he would lure him here, maybe with a little snack in between or a bottle of wine. He himself was more into beer or sake, but the cook preferred this weak swill. Zoro would never get drunk from that, but if he was honest that would take a lot of alcohol anyway. Most of the time he only felt a little buzz.

Slowly, he lowered the weight and then sprawled on the floor, legs and arms stretched out. He turned his head to the side and sniffed his armpits. Hm - maybe he should shower first, that could help.

Jumping up on his legs, he opened the hatch to head for the bathroom. He heard Sanji working in the kitchen and sneaked to the door. Carefully, he looked through the door crack, knowing that Sanji could feel him with his observation haki if he were even the slightest bit more attentive. His gaze slid along his back and he bit his lips. He still knew exactly how he had felt beneath his hands; his skin softer than his own, the movements of his muscles underneath. He would like to still feel him under himself ... or on top of him ...

Maybe a cold shower was in order.

If he wanted to survive dinner.

He rushed into the bathroom, tore off his clothes and washed himself more thoroughly than ever before. The water roared coldly and relentlessly down on him and he got shampoo in his eyes, but he didn't care.

Sanji seemed to feel better since he’d beaten that bastard naval officer. He wished he could have killed him himself or together with Sanji. The moment Sanji had been teleported away before his eyes was one of the worst moments of his life.

There was a small compartment for soap in the wall. He took the soap and started rubbing it over his body.

He would never have forgiven himself if anything had happened to the cook. If anything, the fight had shown that he was still not good enough to call himself the best. He was still a long way from his goal.

He gritted his teeth together and turned the shower tap to the coldest temperature.

Sanji still hadn't forgiven him. He didn't believe he ever would, either, but maybe Zoro could make up for some small part of what he had done to him when he was finally strong enough. He just had to go on, look ahead, never give up. That's what it meant to be part of the Straw Hats.

Shivering, he turned the water off and wrapped himself in a towel. His eyes fell on the heap of stinking clothes.

Damn it. He forgot to get new ones.

* * *

Zoro was the last one to arrive in the kitchen. His hair was still wet and he had put on his gray sweater on the way there. He dropped between Franky and Chopper and watched Sanji scurrying behind the counter, loading plates with meat and vegetables.

Franky leaned over to him.

"Hey, bro," he whispered to him behind one hand, "it's _not cool_ to run around the ship naked."

Zoro twitched. He’d thought that no one had seen him. Besides, Franky's way of whispering wasn't exactly working and now everyone had turned around to him and either looked at him in shock or laughed.

"You ran naked across the ship?" Chopper looked at him disapprovingly. "You could’ve catched a cold!"

"Gross, what if we had seen you?" Nami shouted outraged and Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Don't pretend you've never seen anything like this before."

_Clang!_

His head suddenly exploded with pain because the cook had thrown a wooden spoon at him.

"Don't talk about disgusting stuff at the table, Marimo! Especially not in front of the delicate ladies!"

Zoro rubbed his head, but bit back a remark. Shit, he wanted to seduce the cook and not set him against himself, let alone let him hear tales about how he’d run naked into the sleeping cabin (he’d had a towel around himself, damn it!).

Fortunately, Sanji put the food on the table at that moment and the interest in him disappeared immediately. Zoro secured a large piece of meat and shoved vegetables and rice onto his plate. He watched Sanji swarming back and forth to get the food on the table and pour juice into the women's glasses as if they couldn't do it themselves.

He opened his mouth to finally ask him to sit down when Sanji finally dropped onto the bench opposite of him and put food on his own plate. About time. This idiot spoiled them both too much and didn't realize they just took advantage of him.

Restlessly, he slid back and forth. Sanji's food tasted fantastic as usual, even if he would never admit it, but he could hardly concentrate on it. Luffy wanted to steal something from his plate and he only knocked his greedy hand away out of habit. Instead, he watched Sanji. The cook was busy making small talk with the women and making sure everyone got enough to eat and didn't seem to notice that he was being stared at. But suddenly, he turned his head in his direction and their eyes met. Zoro kept eye contact, although he noticed the treacherous heat of his ears. Suddenly, something hit his leg and _shit_ , Sanji had kicked him! He glared at him, but Sanji had turned to Nami again who asking what kind of dessert would be served. Sanji immediately jumped up and ran for the fridge. What an idiot.

A short time later, the kitchen was empty. Sanji scurried through the kitchen collecting the dirty dishes while Zoro leaned next to the door with his arms crossed. Should he help him? Pedantic as the cook was, he could forget his plans for tonight until the kitchen wasn’t sparkling clean. Damn priorities. Sighing, he pushed himself off the wall.

He stacked the plates in the sink, rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and dipped his hands into the hot dishwater. Sanji stood next to him a few moments later and took the first plate. He heard Sanji hum and bit his lip. Apparently, he was in a good mood. That was good, very good. He hurried to wash the plates; Sanji was fortunately able to cope well with his pace and soon the two had restored the kitchen to its original condition.

Sanji poured himself a glass of water and gulped it down while leaning against the counter. Zoro watched his Adam's apple bounce up and down while drinking. Fuck, he just couldn't take it anymore.

Slowly, he approached him until his hip brushed against him. Sanji put the glass down and looked at him questioningly. Zoro's pulse sped up as he took the glass out of his hand, placed it on the counter with a soft sound and pulled Sanji towards him.

By now, Sanji had also understood what he’d planned - his lips were firmly pressed together and he avoided looking at him directly. Laying one hand on his cheek, Zoro turned his face towards him; Sanji's breath puffed warmly over his skin as Zoro kissed him. Sanji closed his eyes, but Zoro kept his own ones open and watched the way the eyelashes of Sanji’s visible eye contrasted against the color of his cheek. He moved his hand up and stroked his hair out of his face. Both of his eyebrows curled in the same direction and he grinned into the kiss.

"You better not say something stupid, Marimo," Sanji mumbled against his lips.

Zoro was really tempted, but at the moment there were more important things to do and so he only solidified the grip around the other man and bit gently into his lower lip, which elicited a soft moan from Sanji. The cook pressed himself closer to him and Zoro gasped as Sanji's tongue stroked over his lips and then unexpectedly entered his mouth. He could only hold on to Sanji and bury his hand in his hair as Sanji pushed him against the counter and plundered his mouth.

God, where did that son of a bitch learn that?

He tried to keep up and brushed his tongue against Sanji’s. Breathing harshly through his nose and his eyes closed without his volition, he concentrated only on Sanji's chest against him, feeling a treacherous hardness at his hip. He pushed Sanji's tongue back with his own and turned a bit, his boner suddenly pressing against Sanji through several layers of fabric.

Sanji jerked, but didn’t back off. Instead, his hands slipped over his waist and suddenly forward; Zoro's breath hitched as they stroked over his erection and involuntary, he thrusted his hips forward.

"What are you up to?" he asked nervously. Sanji kissed the corner of his mouth and hid his face in the crook of his neck. His hands carefully felt over the fabric of his trousers and Zoro held completely still. Sanji’s hand clasped his cock through the fabric of his pants. Zoro licked his lips nervously and stared at Sanji's neck. "You don't have to do this."

"It's okay," Sanji muttered against his skin and sent goosebumps down his spine.

And then he moved his hand, at first hesitantly, as if he wanted to feel every detail of him, but finally he became braver and massaged him through his pants. Zoro bit his lip and closed his eyes. Was this really happening? He clung to Sanji, his legs becoming weak. He didn't know it’d feel so good when someone else touched him there.

He was rock-hard and could feel that Sanji also remained anything but unaffected. He moved his hand between their bodies, but Sanji slapped it away. Was he only going to touch him without Zoro being able to reciprocate? Again, he put his hand between them, but Sanji pushed them away from him a second time.

"Stop it," he grumbled. Suddenly, Sanji’s hand on him didn’t feel so good anymore.

Zoro grabbed his shoulders and shoved Sanji away from him. Something was wrong here and he refused to let this go any further. Sanji let go of him and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Why won't you let me?"

"I told you I wasn't ready," Sanji shot back.

"But you're ready enough to touch _me_?"

Sanji opened his mouth as if to say something to him, but at the last moment he decided against it. A moment ago, he had seduced him and pressed his body against him, now he was pulling up his shoulders and avoided his gaze.

Zoro loosened his grip on his shoulders.

"Hey," he said quietly and Sanji's eyes looked up at him for a moment. "Is it because of your legs?"

Sanji snorted.

"Of course it is, you complete moron."

Zoro said nothing, but embraced him again. He was still aroused, but that could wait. He buried his nose in Sanji's soft hair and felt his tension slowly bleed away as he slumped against him, a calming weight in his arms.

"I don't mind, you know," he whispered after a while. Sanji tensed up. "I don't have a problem with you losing your legs."

He waited while Sanji held himself still. But he heard Sanji's breath hitch and felt the quiet trembling of his muscles.

"But _I_ do mind." Zoro held him tighter when Sanji finally spoke. "It's easy for you to say, you're not the one who lost everything at a moment’s notice. You don't have to deal with the fact that you're a fucking cripple now who's lucky if anyone will even touch him-"

"Stop it!" Zoro squeezed him even harder against himself. Was that how the curlybrow thought about himself? "Why the fuck are you talking like that?"

"Because it's the truth." Sanji's voice was muffled by the fabric of his sweater. "Be honest, wouldn't you prefer it if I still had my legs?"

"Of course I would! But not for the reasons you think!" Fuck, why did his guilty conscience have to come back now of all times?

"How noble of you ... but I believe you'd think otherwise if you hadn't been the one who cut them off."

Zoro flinched. Sanji still leaned against him, his face pressed against his chest, but now he felt almost strange. His hands fell to his sides. He swallowed, but the lump in his throat did not disappear. Sanji turned his head a little to the side, but his face was mostly hidden by his fringe. He reached for one of Zoro's hands and placed it on his waist, but Zoro withdrew it.

"I have to go," he said without looking at him and took a step back. Shit, why was it so hard to breathe just now? He shoved himself past Sanji, his head bowed. He couldn't look at him right now.

A hand grabbed his sweater and hang on to him. Zoro tried to breathe calmly and suppress the trembling in his arms. His eyes were burning.

"I didn't mean to say that," Sanji whispered behind him.

But that didn't make it unsaid. Fucking hell.

Zoro broke free. The grip on his sweater hadn’t been firm and the fabric slipped out of Sanji’s fingers without much resistance. His chest felt tight as he hurried out of the kitchen and ran through the dark hallway.

Damn it, everything had gone so well, but he just had to touch him, too! Why didn't he just keep his fingers to himself? But that wasn't the real problem. He had arrived on the deck and looked up to the crow's nest. If Sanji would come looking for him, he would certainly try there first. But he couldn't look him in the eyes right now. Would he ever even make progress with him? To hear these cruel words from him, to learn how he thought about himself - as if he wasn’t worth a thing. As if Zoro didn't know he had no legs anymore.

And he still hadn't forgiven him. He knew he still blamed him, but hearing it from his mouth was just too much. He couldn't undo what happened. He couldn't defeat an opponent to help him. He had been powerless against Vane. He had let Sanji down again and all he could think about was his own selfish thoughts about how he could finally sleep with him.

Where wouldn't Sanji suspect him to be? The sleeping cabin was just as obvious and he didn't want to lock himself in the bathroom. He climbed the stairs to the upper deck and looked at Nami's Mikan trees which swayed gently in the nightly wind. Sanji would quarter him if he hid in Nami and Robin's room.

Then suddenly, he came up with another idea.

He crept quietly through the ship and stuck his head into the library. Robin sat in a corner and was absorbed in a book. He could do without her company and was just about to leave when she looked up.

"Oh, hello," she greeted him. "Would you like to borrow a book?"

Zoro closed the door behind him and leaned against it, feeling uncomfortable. Robin knew he never read and was just playing with him. Without speaking, he let himself sink down at the door and buried his head in his hands.

He heard Robin close her book.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not really."

Fuck, and he’d really thought it might be today. It had started so well. He really had no problem with Sanji wearing prostheses. But he probably wasn't in a position to tell him that if it was primarily his fault.

His cheeks were wet, but he didn't wipe them off.

"Robin." He swallowed. "Do you think the cook hates me?"

"Would he be with you if he were?"

Zoro shook his head.

"I don't know."

Robin remained silent for a few minutes while Zoro pressed his head between his legs. How would it be for him if he lost them? Or his arms? He could convince himself that he would overcome it, but he certainly couldn't say it for sure. It was easy to talk like that when it hadn't happened to him.

He heard Robin take a breath.

"Why do you think that he hasn't forgiven you yet?"

Zoro's cheeks reddened.

"He doesn't want me to touch him," he mumbled quietly. "At least not somewhere near his legs."

"And why does that have something to do with you?" Robin asked calmly. Zoro raised her head, indifferent that she could see his tear-stained cheeks. "If he really hadn't forgiven you, he would not have taken that one step. He is trying, I think. You are not the problem."

"He just accused me of cutting off his legs," Zoro interjected. Robin blinked at him, seemingly unimpressed, and crossed her legs.

"But that's the truth." Zoro flinched, but she went on. "Have you never noticed how vain Sanji is? All his manners, his chevalerie or wearing perfume on a pirate ship - all that, but nothing will change the fact that he had to replace his legs with a pair of prostheses."

"But he defeated Vane. He can fight again."

"Fighting isn't everything to him."

"Then what does he want? I don't get it." Zoro threw his hands up in frustration. Robin smiled narrowly.

"To be handsome, maybe?"

Zoro snorted.

"That's bullshit!" he exclaimed.

But in the next moment, he remembered that he had already discussed that with him. He had almost forgotten - that Sanji had also been attached to his legs because he found them looking nice. But that was bullshit. Legs were there to walk and to fight.

But at the same time he would have given everything to be allowed to touch them once, the same he had touched the rest of Sanji's body. How would those legs with this insane power in them have felt?

Robin watched him in silence.

"How do I fix this?" Zoro rubbed his face with both hands.

"Maybe you should first forgive yourself."

Maybe he could have done that if he’d have defeated Vane himself. If he could have proved himself better, stronger. That such a mistake wouldn't happen to him a second time. But that chance had fizzled out.

"I was just too-"

"-weak?" Robin interrupted him and he glared at her. "Weakness is not a sin. We were all weak once. And we all become stronger by overcoming the things that want to destroy us." He wondered what she was thinking about when she talked about it. "You did everything you _could_ do at that moment. It wasn't your fault. That you’re still feeling like this should be evidence enough for Sanji how much you care about him."

Zoro blinked at her slowly, his mouth partly open.

"Maybe... you're right," he finally said slowly. But what good would it do if he became stronger, but wasn’t fast enough? If he couldn’t keep up with the others in the New World and fell by the wayside, strong, but not strong enough, fast, but still too slow.

But whining wouldn't make him stronger either.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Maybe he still needs time?" he finally asked her. Robin absently stroked the spine of her book with two fingers.

"Maybe. Just wait and be patient."

Zoro nodded, put his head against the door and closed his eyes.

* * *

Sanji was standing in the kitchen trying to drown himself in the sink.

Why did he say that? Why the hell would he tell Zoro that? It had just slipped out of him and he hadn't even meant it that way. He took the glass he had just drunk from and dumped the rest of the water. He should go find him and apologize.

He grabbed a bottle of sake, went to the door and looked out into the dark hallway. No one was to be seen; the others were probably all in the process of going to bed. As he stepped out onto the deck, he could see faint light coming out of the library window. He smiled faintly. Robin would probably read until late into the night.

He went down the stairs to the lower deck and looked up to the crow's nest. He bet Zoro had retreated there and either slept or did an evening training session. He began to climb up the rope ladder to the crow's nest.

How would he start? _I'm sorry I blurted this out?_ He knew that Zoro was still carrying strong feelings of guilt with him and Sanji wanted to tell him that he’d forgiven him - but somehow he‘d never found the right words for it.

He stopped. Shit, probably Zoro still thought he hadn't forgiven him. And it wasn't anything that had changed suddenly. But since he had talked to Evie, he could understand a little more every day that it had just been an accident. That no one could have prevented what had happened that day.

The rope’s scratchy fibres cut his hand and he hurried to climb up. Better to just get it over with. He stuck his head through the hatch. He tended to think too much and sometimes it was just better-

The crow's nest was empty.

Where the hell was that bastard?

He sat down on the edge of the hatch and let his prostheses dangle into the depth. His lighter brightened the room as he lit a cigarette. Had Zoro already gone to sleep? But that wasn't like him at all; Zoro would want to let off steam somewhere and he usually did so through training. Or by excessive drinking. He went to one of the windows and let his gaze wander across the entire deck, but he couldn’t discover the treacherous green hair anywhere. So he had to be somewhere inside.

Climbing back down, he went below deck towards the sleeping cabins. He could already hear the snoring of several crew members from a distance. Trying to be quiet, he put his head through the door and looked at Zoro's empty hammock.

Somebody stirred.

"Sanji?" he heard Brook's drowsy voice.

"Sorry," Sanji whispered to him in the dark. "Just checking something."

"Looking for Zoro?"

Damn it. Sanji bit his lip.

"He's not here," Brook continued.

"I noticed that, too," Sanji whispered back. "I'll keep looking."

He retreated and quietly closed the door behind him. He wondered how much his friends knew about Zoro and him. Robin probably knew everything, but she was intelligent - unlike his other comrades. But sometimes he got the feeling that one or two of them knew more than they admitted.

That was a thought for another day.

He checked the rest of the rooms below, but Zoro was nowhere to be found. Only the hallway above him remained. Shoving his hands into his trouser pockets, he went up the two stairs and opened the door to the corridor.

Something hard collided with him and he fell towards the ground; at the last moment someone grabbed him and stopped him from the painful impact.

Startled, he stared into Zoro's widening eyes. Then Zoro pulled him the rest of the way up and looked to the side.

"Where did you come from?" was the first thing Sanji came up with. He looked over his shoulder and noticed that the door to the library was wide open. "From the _library_? Are you lost?"

Zoro glared at him and then tried to push past him. Sanji grabbed him by the sleeve of his sweater, half expecting him to slip away again. But he paused and looked back at him.

"What?"

Sanji bit his lip, but held his gaze. His eyes were red. Had he really been crying?

"Can we talk?" he asked. Zoro blinked. Then he turned to him completely.

"Then talk."

Sanji looked left and right.

"Not here," he hissed.

"No, right here," Zoro countered and crossed his arms. Sanji shifted his weight and pulled hard on his cigarette. Damn, everybody could see them here. He sighed and drew a breath.

"I wanted to apologize."

There, he said it. Without stuttering and while he looked at him. Zoro watched him without changing his expression. Sanji was puffing on his cigarette, the smoke burning in his lungs.

"Can I ask you something?" Zoro finally said and Sanji nodded. "What's the real reason I can't touch you?"

"You can-"

"You know what I mean." Zoro glared at him. "I don't mind if you're not ready. It's all new to me, too." He took a step towards him, so that he stood right in front of him. He could feel the warmth emanating from his body in the cold. "But is that really the reason? Or is there something else?"

Now he could no longer stand his gaze. Sanji looked down at his feet; Zoro's black boots between the metal arches of his prostheses. Shit, this should have been different.

"First of all, I’m your nakama, Sanji," Zoro whispered. His hand touched his cheek and shifted into his hair: "There is nothing that could make me think badly of you."

"I think there's plenty." Zoro loved strength, he had told him himself. He took a deep breath. "But you're right. There's another reason." Zoro waited in silence. Sanji enjoyed the warmth of his hand on his cheek. "I like it when you touch me," he started and felt Zoro move restlessly in front of him. His face got warm. "But surely you’d be disgusted if you’d have to touch my legs."

Zoro remained silent. Sanji's chest contracted. He had said it - it had cost him a lot of courage, but that had to count for something, right? Zoro sighed, then suddenly his hand moved from his cheek and took the cigarette out of his mouth.

"You're such an idiot," Zoro muttered and leaned over to him. Sanji's eyes widened as he kissed him.

"What-" he tried to say, but his voice was immediately swallowed. Zoro pulled him close and Sanji had no choice but to return the kiss. He had no idea what had made him do it, but he could complain later. After a while, Zoro freed himself from him, breathing heavily, and leaned his forehead against Sanji’s.

"You're an idiot," he repeated.

"This sentence would be sufficient once a day," Sanji deadpanned. Zoro took a step back and pushed up his sweater. Sanji raised both eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

"You see that scar?" Zoro asked demandingly and Sanji nodded in surprise; the huge scar that ran across his chest was hard to miss. "I’m also carrying traces from my fights. But I don't mind."

Sanji stretched out his hand and ran his fingertips over the scar tissue. He would never forget how Zoro had deliberately stood in the way of Mihawk's massive sword.

"There's a huge difference. This scar here shows your courage ... my own ones only mean I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Zoro snorted.

"It's more like I wasn't fast enough."

"Bullshit! You did everything you could," Sanji exclaimed and shoved him. Zoro stumbled back, his eyes dilating. "I know it wasn't your fault. Vane just took advantage of the circumstances. He could just as easily have misused anyone else."

Zoro still stared at him without saying a word. Only then did Sanji realize what he had said.

"You mean that-" Zoro croaked.

Sanji nodded before he was discouraged. Shit, his heart almost jumped out of his chest, why the fuck was Zoro looking at him like that? Forgotten, the cigarette burned in Zoro's hand, only a glowing butt left. He took it from him and flicked it overboard before he looked back at Zoro.

Suddenly, the biggest smile he’d ever seen on him spread on Zoro’s face. The swordsman stretched out his arms and embraced him, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Sanji clumsily put his arms around his back. Zoro laughed in his shoulder and he bit his lip, but he couldn’t suppress his own grin. It was fucking good to make him happy.

Zoro's hands wandered down his back, over his buttocks and the back of his thighs. Sanji held perfectly still as his fingertips reached the upper edge of his prostheses through his pants.

Zoro stopped.

"You don't have to go on," Sanji said quietly. He didn't want Zoro to force himself to do it just because he believed it was necessary. Zoro kissed his shoulder.

"Idiot."

"Stop calling-"

Sanji faltered as Zoro's hands moved further down. His fingers slipped over the hard surface of the prostheses and even if there was a layer of fabric in between, the hairs on his neck stood up. Zoro kissed down his throat, worked his way to his collarbone and briefly let him go to sink to his knees in front of him.

Sanji didn't dare to say a word.

Zoro seemed to be highly concentrated as he grasped his legs just above his knees. The training of the last few weeks had caused him to rebuild most of his lost muscles, and so Zoro couldn’t completely encompass his legs. His left hand embraced his knee joint and then moved down to the thinner metal rod under which Franky had placed the joint of the prosthesis.

Was it just curiosity? At any moment Zoro would withdraw his hand, his interest satisfied, and neither of them would ever talk about touching him there again.

But Zoro's hand slipped down this part of the prosthesis, over the artificial knee joint and on to the wider, flexible crescent that made up the bottom part of his prosthesis. Sanji wasn’t able to feel him anymore, but he never let his movements out of his sight. Because of the prosthesis’ size it was impossible to hide it under his trousers. Here, the fabric of his pants ended abruptly - Sanji had rolled it up so that it fit - and Zoro touched the prosthesis without hesitation.

Sanji took a deep breath.

Zoro's fingers slid carefully over the sharp contours with which he had once injured him in his carelessness. Then suddenly, as if he’d made a decision, he bent over and kissed the broad side of the prosthesis.

"What the- why are you doing this?" Sanji exclaimed, not believing what he had just done. Zoro looked at him from below.

"I don't care if they're your real legs or not." He skimmed his hands up the back of the prosthesis and let them slide into his trouser legs. "I want everything from you."

Sanji blushed abruptly. Zoro pulled his hands out of his trouser legs and let them slide over the fabric over his thighs until they reached his zipper. Sanji held his breath. Heat pooled in his stomach as Zoro slowly pulled the zipper down. The air was blowing cool over his stomach’s naked skin, reminding him that they were still outside. He tugged on Zoro's hair so he would look up.

"Let's go inside," he whispered as if he was afraid someone could hear him. He could well do without someone seeing them.

Zoro nodded and got up, his face suddenly very close to Sanji’s. He took his hand and pulled him to the door leading into the hallway next to the kitchen. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he pressed Sanji against it from the other side and pushed his mouth against his lips. Suddenly, his hands were everywhere; on his shoulders, driving along his arms, on his chest and hips, as if he wanted to explore every inch. Sanji tried to not slide down the door. Zoro's tongue sneaked into his mouth and pushed against his own, their breath intermingling.

Suddenly, he felt his hand on his still open zipper and he tensed as Zoro's warm hand slipped down over his stomach and into his pants. A muffled groan escaped him and Zoro deepened the kiss as he grasped his half-hard cock at the same moment. Sanji tried to find purchase somewhere and reached for Zoro's sweater.

Zoro pressed against him, his lips moving hypnotically against his own as he began to move his hand slowly up and down. Of course, it wasn’t the first time Sanji had jerked off if he managed to be alone on the ship for a few minutes. But it was always hectic and with the goal of getting it over with as quickly as possible.

Zoro, on the other hand, took his time. At first, his touch was very light, his palm warm due to the fabric of his boxer shorts, the movements slow and targeted, as if he wanted to explore him. Sanji's breath hitched as his hand stroked over the head, this spot much more intense than the others. The tight knot in the bottom of his stomach strengthened and he suppressed the urge to press his legs together. He wanted to escape and get rid of this feeling, but at the same time he didn’t want Zoro to take his hand away.

Zoro interrupted the kiss and caressed the corner of his mouth.

"Do you like that?" he asked and god, why did he have to talk now?

Sanji opened his eyes by a margin - a mistake, because Zoro looked at him from close up, his face flaming red. Damn, he couldn't believe he was doing this with him. Jerkingly, he nodded and Zoro attacked his neck. He gasped as he gently bit his throat, the slight pain driving straight into his groin and Zoro trailed his hand up and then pushed it into his boxer shorts.

Oh, that was much better. Sanji put one arm around Zoro's shoulders and held on tight. Zoro gave him no time to get used to it; his hand grasped his cock without hesitation and began to move rhythmically. Zoro’s free hand wrapped around Sanji's wrist and led him between their bodies.

"Do you want to do it to me, too?" he whispered in his ear.

Sanji could feel the stiff bulge through his pants. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as he opened the buttons on Zoro's trousers with shaky fingers and let his fingers slide into them. Zoro braced himself on the door behind him. It was warm, much warmer than he had thought, as if all the heat had accumulated in the middle of his body. He felt impossibly hard as Sanji stroked him carefully. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zoro biting his lip. Zoro's hand lost rhythm for a moment before he continued. More courageous, Sanji imitated him and pulled his boxers partly down. They caught on his cock and Sanji bit his lip as he gathered his courage and pulled them all the way down. His cock jumped out and Zoro faltered briefly in his movement.

Sanji didn't know why he had that bloody stupid thought at that moment, but all that went through his mind was that he had never seen a dick other than his own before. Zoro's cock was a bit bigger than his own (not that he would ever admit it) and his skin was darker here too. He suppressed a grin when he saw the frizzy green hair that also adorned him there.

Zoro's cock twitched up when he touched him. He grasped him and slowly pumped him up and down, fascinated by the noises he could elicit from him; a soft sigh here and there, the hitch of his breath. From time to time, Zoro forgot to move his own hand, but he always remembered after a few seconds. Sanji leaned his forehead against his shoulder, his lips firmly pressed together to refrain from making loud noises.

Sanji's hand sped up and Zoro kissed him gently on the shoulder as his breath accelerated. Zoro also moved his hand faster and Sanji felt his balls contracting. Without his control, his hips twitched forward and he clung to Zoro’s sweater, heat suddenly shooting arrow-like through his belly and a loud moan escaped him as he spurted into Zoro's hand.

His heart beat wildly against his chest and a sudden heat wave welled up in him. He blinked. Zoro had pulled his hand out of his boxers and held it away from him. Sanji lifted his head from his shoulder and looked into his face, where a smug grin had spread.

He had to correct that.

He grabbed his cock again and formed a tunnel with his hand where Zoro could thrust into. Zoro's grin immediately disappeared and he gasped loudly. Sanji was fascinated by the way the head of his cock kept emerging out of his hand, several transparent drops having formed there, and he smeared them around. He barely had to move; Zoro's hips rhythmically thrusted into his hand. He watched Zoro lick his lips and his eyes glaze over. He couldn’t support himself anymore and pressed his forehead against Sanji’s just as his movements suddenly became jerky and he froze. Sanji felt something hot and wet splashing against the palm of his hand. He glanced at Zoro's face which looked almost distorted by pain and pressed his mouth against Zoro’s. His breath was hot and Zoro replied lazily, his tongue stroking over his lips without penetrating his mouth and for a while they just kissed slowly without wanting to separate. Zoro caressed Sanji's naked stomach, causing an almost non noticeable quiver. Sanji still had his arm around him and absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair.

But at some point the moment came when the adrenaline faded and he slowly became aware of his sticky hand and the icky cold feeling down below. Reluctantly, he broke away from Zoro and shirked from his look. What did people usually say after something like that?

Zoro straightened his pants again. Sanji turned up his nose, he desperately needed a shower. But it didn't help; he couldn't run across the deck with open trousers. So he pulled his zipper up and tried not to pay attention to the sticky feeling in his pants.

Zoro unexpectedly slung his arm around him and pulled him away from the door.

"How about a shower?" he asked him with his eyebrows wiggling and Sanji sighed. The first time the marimo showered voluntarily was when he had dirty thoughts.

They crept across the deck to the bathroom and locked the door behind them. Zoro immediately began to tear the dirty clothes off his body and only then Sanji realized that he had to undress in front of him. Zoro gave him a questioning look.

"What's the matter, cook?"

Shit, he’d dug that grave himself. But Zoro had touched him _there_ and although he had been looking for it, he had found no signs that he was disgusted by him.

He pulled the shirt over his head and laid it next to Zoro's clothes, which had been messily thrown into a corner. Zoro pushed his pants over his hips, suddenly standing completely naked in front of him. Sanji sat down on the stool in the shower and reached for the button that would release his prostheses. Then he paused.

Zoro put two towels next to the shower and then stood beside him.

"Do you need help?" he asked.

He was able to shower by himself, but he nodded anyway and pressed the button. The vacuum between the first prosthesis and his thigh vanished. He took the prosthesis off and put it away from him so that it wouldn’t get wet and then repeated the procedure with the second one. With his teeth clenched, he looked down at his knees. They were hurting again. He would probably never get completely used to the sight of it.

Zoro took the shower head from the wall and turned on the water. Sanji watched him from the corner of his eye; he was busy adjusting the water and then stood behind him.

"Tell me if it's too cold."

With that, he held the water jet over his head. Sanji held with both hands on to the stool to keep his balance. The water was perfect; a little colder than his skin, exactly what he needed now. He closed his eyes when Zoro turned the shower head off and put shampoo in his hair. Zoro's fingertips massaged his scalp and he felt the tension gradually vanishing.

Zoro briefly let go of him, then he put his hands on his shoulders and spread shower gel over his body. His hands glided from his shoulders over his arms and chest, rubbing over his stomach and then even deeper between his legs, and Sanji held his breath. But this time the touch wasn’t even sexual and soon, Zoro moved on, slid them down his legs and embraced his knees.

Sanji opened his eyes by a margin, watching him. Zoro knelt before him and ran his thumb over the scar beneath his knee. His face was contorted, but it didn’t seem to be from disgust. He was probably just thinking about the moment that all this had happened.

He shivered and Zoro bent over and kissed the scar. Sanji flinched. Silently, Zoro stepped behind him again and continued to wash him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to scream at me at my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rejah91/).


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, Sanji was woken up by the pling of Brook’s violin and he pressed his face into the pillow. Why the hell did Brook have to wake him up with such horrible music? He had crawled into his bed very late and even then it had taken him a while to fall asleep.

He tore off his bedspread.

Damn it, he’d overslept! Hastily, he grabbed his prostheses and put them on before jumping out of the hammock, then snatched the first available clothes from his trunk and ran out of the sleeping cabin. That had never happened to him before. He turned on the spot and hurried back. Zoro had just sat up and was rubbing his eyes as he seized him and dragged him along.

"What's up?" Zoro asked bleary-eyed and stumbled after him.

"You made me oversleep!" Sanji growled at him. "Help me with breakfast, will you? But don't get in my way!"

They ran past Brook who was dancing through the hallway playing the violin and hurried to the kitchen. Sanji rummaged through the pantry and fridge; he hadn't even thought about what to prepare for breakfast. It had to be something quick. Very soon, Luffy would show up and ask for food.

"Here, cut this into thin slices!" He threw a salami and a knife at Zoro which he caught and then took out the bread from the day before.

Quickly, he prepared dozens of sandwiches and stacked them on several plates. Just as Zoro put the last one on the table, the door opened and Luffy stormed into the kitchen. He wanted to pounce on the food, but Sanji stood between him and the table and threateningly lifted one of his legs.

"Wait till everyone gets here!"

At that, Luffy turned on his heel and stuck his head out into the corridor.

"Crew! Hurry up, there's food! That's an order!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. Nami and Robin came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Then he noticed Zoro standing next to him and tried not to stare at him. God, if the girls knew what Zoro and he did last night-

From outside, the sound of a violin approached. Brook was really in a musical mood today. He could even hear him sing.

"Oooh, young love!" he hummed as he walked through the kitchen door, the violin tucked beneath his chin. "It’s like a wild rose in us-"

Sanji threw the next best pan at him and hit him in the head.

"Sanji!" Nami looked at him horrified, even though she was also visibly annoyed by Brook’s early singing. "Why did you do that?"

"My apologies, Nami-chan!"

He picked up the pan and put it back in its place. The others looked at him puzzled, except for Zoro who was scratching his head in embarrassment.

Sanji was busy putting fresh juice on the table. He knew exactly what Brook was suddenly singing love songs about. Last night, he’d woken him up in his search for Zoro and this idiot had apparently put two and two together. Now there were two crew members including Robin who knew about Zoro and him.

Fuck, did he have to tell everyone at one point? The remaining Straw Hats came into the kitchen and sat down. Sanji plopped down next to Robin after handing her a cup of coffee. The others still looked at him confused and Brook rubbed the newly formed bump on his head. He would just concentrate on eating his sandwich and ignore the others.

Zoro sat down next to him.

He choked on his food and stared at him with wide eyes. What was that fool doing there? Did he want to blow their cover? Zoro reached for a sandwich and took a large bite before he turned halfway to him and looked at him unimpressed, that bastard.

"What, no fighting?" Nami remarked surprised. "You throw a pan at Brook for nothing, but when Zoro sits beside you, you say nothing? Do you have a fever?"

Next to him, Chopper immediately eyed him and leaned over.

"Ah! Sanji, why didn't you say something? How are you doing? Do you feel hot?" He put one of his hooves against his forehead. Then suddenly he panicked and plucked at his collar. "You've got red spots all over you!"

Sanji paled. In his panic, he hadn’t paid attention to what he was wearing this morning and it had not at all occurred to him to cover his neck, which was obviously full of hickeys. His eyes flitted to Zoro who looked at him without batting an eyelid. The bastard must have seen the spots, but hadn’t said anything!

He glanced around the table. Almost everyone looked at him with different expressions of shock. Usopp’s sandwich fell out of his mouth and Franky gave him a thumbs up, Brook grinned broadly. Luffy used the opportunity to secure half of the sandwiches for himself. Nami held her hand in front of her mouth, her eyes flitting to the side-

"With _Zoro_?" she suddenly burst out.

"Yohoho, that makes my heart beat faster, even if I don't have one anymore!"

"Congrats, bro!"

Sanji could feel his face turn red like a tomato and looked at Zoro in panic. But Zoro continued eating as usual, as if nothing had happened.

"Don't you want to say something, Mr. Cook?" Robin asked him across the table, her chin supported by one hand. Sanji looked at her in horror while she calmly sipped at her coffee.

"I - uh ..." What the hell could he say? His reaction had already told the others everything they needed to know. And frankly, there was only a limited selection of people on the ship who could be responsible for the hickeys. He noticed Zoro watching him and swallowed. "Yes, with Zoro."

Franky whistled appreciatively while the rest of the table erupted into chaos. Zoro wrapped an arm around him and drew him close, causing even more whistles and other embarrassing gestures. Robin smiled mysteriously and Usopp stared at him as if he’d never seen him before. Chopper inspected him critically.

"So these spots-"

Sanji covered his mouth before he could continue speaking. It was embarrassing enough without someone innocent like Chopper talking about it.

"Can we _please_ talk about something else," he mumbled and stuffed the sandwich into his mouth. The sooner he would be done with that, the sooner he could excuse himself by cleaning up the kitchen and get up from the table.

Luffy hit the table with a flat hand and he flinched.

"That's a reason for a party!" he exclaimed and grinned at him. "Sanji, I want meat tonight! Tons of meat!"

His face must have taken on the color of a tomato by now, but Zoro's arm around his shoulders burned warmly through his sweater, his body pressed against his like a rock in the sun.

It could have been worse. At least nobody made a face or was visibly disgusted. Everyone seemed to be happy about it. But fuck - why did they have to get on to this now of all times? Why hadn’t he paid attention to whether Zoro had left traces on him?

He stuffed the last piece of the sandwich into his mouth and got up from the table. Reluctantly, Zoro's hand slipped off his shoulders.

"I'm going out for a smoke."

He grabbed the pack of cigarettes lying on the counter and ignored the looks of the others. Zoro furrowed his brows, his arm on the table as if he didn't know what to do with it now that Sanji had gotten up. Sanji bounced restlessly back and forth on his prostheses as he fumbled a cigarette out of the pack.

He sighed and nudged Zoro with his elbow.

"What’s up, are you coming, Marimo?"

Zoro's face lit up and he hastily pushed the seat back, grabbing one last sandwich. His ears were red as he put one arm around Sanji again and waved to the others as they left the kitchen. Sanji put the cigarette in the corner of his mouth and tried to get his pulse down somehow. Now everything was out in the open - everyone knew what was going on between Zoro and him. Part of him - a damn big one if he was honest - wanted to run away screaming or go back to the kitchen and deny everything, but another part of him enjoyed the warmth that radiated from Zoro's body as they stepped out onto the cold deck.

The tip of his cigarette glowed red as he lit it and took a deep breath. He held the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds and then let it flow out of his mouth and nose. Zoro leaned his back against the railing, his elbows resting on the frozen wood. He looked relaxed, the permanent wrinkle between his eyebrows barely visible. He watched him with bright eyes.

"Are you okay?" Zoro finally asked.

Sanji smoked half of his cigarette before answering.

"Amazingly, yes." He inclined his head towards him. "That was quite an asshole move, though."

Zoro grinned.

"'sorry."

"Don't act like you’re sorry."

But the corners of his mouth twitched and suddenly, without being able to stop it, he laughed out loud. Zoro looked at him with big eyes as he had to lean on the railing, the cigarette between his fingers forgotten. He put his forehead on Zoro's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Maybe it's better this way," he admitted. Zoro's hand sneaked under his sweater, his fingertips cold.

"Didn't want to wait forever to tell the others."

"Still, it could have backfired."

Zoro snorted.

"Are you serious? Then you don't know Luffy very well."

"But Nami-"

"Isn’t interested in you. This woman's only into money."

"Robin-"

"Oh, pull yourself together, curlybrow!" He drew him close until they were pressed together from head to toe. Zoro's breath formed white clouds in the air, his face suddenly so close that he could see the spatter of freckles on his cheeks. " _I'm_ interested in you. Isn't that enough for you?"

Fuck, how could he say something like that without batting an eyelid? Sanji didn't answer. His eyes flitted down to Zoro’s mouth and suddenly he leaned forward and kissed him, the almost familiar heat in his belly flashed up like a fire that hadn’t been completely extinguished.

A soft sound escaped Zoro and he swallowed it down, his tongue running over his lower lip and dipping into his mouth, Zoro's fingers pressing tighter into his hip. He consisted only of hard muscles and sharp edges, but to his surprise it didn't bother him. (It even turned him on.) He pushed his thigh between Zoro's legs and could feel his arousal. He had barely touched him, yet his fingers trembled as they stroked over his neck’s artery, his heartbeat thundering under his fingertips.

It felt like last night and he knew he had to back off. It was the middle of the day and someone could come by any time. Even though they were no longer a secret, he could well do without being caught in the act by someone from the crew.

He struggled to get away from him. Zoro followed and kissed him again on the corner of his mouth. Zoro licked his lips.

"You taste like cigarettes," was the first thing he said. Sanji rolled his eyes.

"If it bothers you-"

"It doesn't." Zoro rubbed his nose against his and then put his head on his shoulder. "I don't think I'll ever get used to kissing you."

Sanji wanted to answer something, but at that moment Zoro lifted his head from his shoulder again and cleared his throat.

"Franky's coming," he informed him and grabbed his crotch to adjust himself. Apparently, he still hadn't cooled off. But he was fricking glad they had stopped before it could escalate too much. He didn't really want to explain to Franky why they were half naked on the deck.

"Hey, bros. Hope I didn't interrupt," Franky greeted them with a smug grin. Sanji sighed internally. He'd probably have to listen to one dirty joke after another for the next few weeks. He decided not to answer him while Zoro just growled at him.

Franky came to a halt before them.

"We're leaving soon. Have you guys seen Evie?"

Sanji said no. He hoped that she and her father would soon come to the shore; it would be a pity if they couldn’t say goodbye to them after this adventure. But Nami wanted to take advantage of the favorable wind, so they couldn't wait too long.

Franky leaned against the rail next to them and looked at the shore. Apparently, he intended to wait for them here.

Sanji peeked over to him, his embarrassment still echoing inside him. He had been there when he’d taken his first steps, he had been the one who had pulled himself together for him and gave him the impulse to accept the prostheses.

"Thank you," he said quietly. The word rolled out of his mouth before he could think about it. Franky looked at him in surprise, then gave him a thumbs up.

"Hey, don’t worry about it! I'm glad I could help."

Franky looked back at the shore. Apparently, the topic was over for him and Sanji didn't press it any further. The three of them waited for Evie and her father to show up. The icy wind pulled at their hair and after a while Zoro put an arm around him again to warm him up. Sanji smoked two more cigarettes. The smoke was immediately blown away over their heads.

Finally, two figures appeared in the distance and Franky was the first to identify them as Evie and Mark. They started waving and Franky jumped down and caught Evie who flung herself into his arms. Sanji and Zoro stayed on the ship while Franky talked to the little one. He felt that everything important had already been said between them.

After a short time, the others also came to the deck and it quickly became very busy: The sails were hoisted up and the anchor lifted. Soon, Nami called down to the shore, "Hurry up, Franky! We gotta go!"

Sanji watched Franky hug Evie one last time and then came back to the Sunny. He had tears on his face, but he decided not to say anything. Franky was crying easily and he knew that he and the girl had formed some kind of friendship during the last few days. But they had to go on. He blinked into the high sun, dazzling white over the horizon. The chimneys smoked above the city, black columns that cut through the sky. His legs hardly hurt and he had managed to fight his way back into life against all odds. He knew that all this was not due to him. He had his nakama by his side. They hadn't left him behind.

He glanced to Zoro who was hanging in the ropes and fixed the sails in the right position. This idiot had simply never given in, but had repeatedly interfered and told him what he had to do without mincing his words. Simply saying 'thank you' would not be enough.

Their eyes met for a moment, then Zoro turned away and tightened the knot of the rope he was working on.

Sanji blinked in the sun and bit back a grin. Maybe it was enough after all.

A jolt went through the ship as the anchor snapped into its holder. The sails caught the wind and Sanji stroked some hair out of his face. Mark had already turned away and slowly walked along the pebble beach, but Evie was still standing in the same spot waving to them. His nakama stood next to him on the railing, except for Nami who held the wheel firmly in her hands and slowly drove them out of the bay.

"Goodbye, Evie!" Luffy cried out right next to him.

"We're gonna miss you!"

His eyes were burning from the cold and he raised his hand to say goodbye.

* * *

The islands were only a small speck on the horizon when Sanji swept over the kitchen table one last time. He'd used up most of his supplies to meet Luffy's request for a party. Meat had been scarce, but they had been able to stock up sufficiently with fish. Nami had informed him that it would take them about two weeks to reach the next island with the current wind. There was food in the pantry for two extra days in case they would need more time. Nami had told them the weather was good and if anyone knew about that it was her. He wasn't worried that they would go hungry and had used everything else for the party.

He hung the towel on the bar so that it could dry and stretched his back. His nakama had all gone to bed a while ago. But there was one left. With quiet steps he approached Zoro who had fallen asleep at the table, his head on his arms and snoring loudly. He put one hand on his shoulder and shook him.

"Hey. Go to bed."

Zoro mumbled quietly in his sleep, but he didn’t move. Sanji snorted in irritation. He could leave him here - but it was cold and uncomfortable. It was really only thanks to his mercy that he bothered at all.

"Hey!" he hissed louder this time and shook him harder. Zoro's snoring hitched and he blinked into the glare of the ceiling lamp.

"Wha-?"

"Go to bed," Sanji repeated and let him go. His job was done. He waited while Zoro stretched his arms over his head, yawned and then scratched his head. His gaze wandered through the clean kitchen and then got stuck on Sanji.

"M’sorry. I’ve been meaning to help you." His voice was rough and fuzzy from sleep. Sanji could smell the alcohol in his breath as he walked past him and turned out the light.

"Don't worry, you're welcome to get up with me in the morning and prepare the hangover breakfast."

Zoro stood up behind him and followed, his body was no more than a dark silhouette in the faint light flowing through the porthole. Sanji waited until he had caught up to him. He just wanted to go with him to the men's bedroom; there was no reason to leave him alone. But to his surprise, Zoro reached for his hand and gently tugged at it.

"What is it?"

Sanji's mouth was suddenly dry, his heart beating faster. He didn't want to admit it yet, but Zoro's posture betrayed him.

His breath accelerated as Zoro leaned forward and kissed him straight on the mouth. He pushed him against the door frame, arms like a cage around him, and Sanji should be annoyed that he dominated him like this, but instead heat coiled in his stomach and he felt his cock grow hard. That he managed this with so few touches ... his thoughts swam apart like a swarm of silver fish, Zoro nibbled on his lower lip, first tenderly, then more and more demanding. His tongue followed the throb in his lip like a gentle excuse.

The cage got tighter as Zoro put his arms around him. Sanji closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth that Zoro's body radiated; a mixture of his natural heat and the sleep that still clung to him like a blanket in winter. His fingertips, still cold from the water with which he had cleaned the kitchen, stroked over foreign skin which became more and more familiar to him. It was soft in most places, but the hard muscles beneath it revealed its strength and he made a point of exploring every inch, feeling the strands of muscles in his chest and dipping his fingers into his belly button, coaxing a soft sound from Zoro.

Zoro wrapped his arms tighter around him as if he was afraid he would change his mind. His mouth was soft and warm, the tips of his fingers rough with calluses as they ran over his lower back and lightning chased up his spine. Sanji could have gone on like this forever if the heat in his belly wouldn’t gradually condense into a tight knot.

Only now did he realize that he was grinding against Zoro with slow movements. Immediately, he let go of him, his lips suddenly cold. But in the next moment, Zoro shoved his hands into the back pockets of his pants and jerked him against himself. Sanji gasped. Zoro's cock pressed against his own erection and his hips twitched forward. Zoro kept his attention on him, his mouth slightly open as he continued with what he had begun and held him tight as his hips circled against his own torturously slowly.

" _Fuck._ " Sanji panted for breath. It all happened so quickly, his head was full of cotton wool. Everything in him contracted, every movement went through him like lightning. Zoro pressed his mouth against his and he shamelessly panted into it, his fingers clawing into his shoulders-

Zoro interrupted the kiss for a moment and Sanji followed him, but Zoro held his chin in one hand and prevented him from kissing him again.

"Wait!" he gasped, his breath coming in bursts.

He looked over his shoulder and only then Sanji realized that they were still partly in the kitchen. The risk of someone strolling along the corridor at any moment - perhaps looking for a glass of water after all the alcohol - was just too high. They had done it here before, but that had been in the middle of the night and he couldn't have stopped for anything in the world. Even now he moved his fingers almost involuntarily, the urge to touch him was hardly controllable.

Sanji swallowed. If Zoro left him alone now, he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t get himself off here and now.

"What do you suggest?"

Zoro's pupils were huge when he looked at him, his voice rough when he answered.

"The aquarium. It's lockable."

Sanji nodded and Zoro wasted no more time, wrapped an arm around his waist and together they hurried to the proposed place. The cool night air hit them as they opened the door to the deck and brushed over his heated skin. Zoro reached for his hand and pulled him towards the aquarium.

Sanji's fingers clenched and relaxed and he licked his lip nervously as Zoro closed the door behind them and turned the key around. Pulling it out of the lock, he threw it somewhere into the darkness of the room as if he were afraid that Sanji would change his mind.

Then there was nothing to stop them anymore. Sanji couldn’t have said who reacted first: Zoro pushed him against the door in the same moment Sanji bridged the distance between them and pressed his entire length against him. Zoro's leg had slid between his own ones and continued the slow torture while Sanji was busy pulling the sweater over his head, his hands greedily stroking every inch of skin he could newly discover. Zoro imitated him and they had to break apart for a moment to release him from his sweater.

Sanji knew he couldn't match Zoro's build. Even though there wasn’t a gram of fat too much on him, he lacked the sheer muscle mass that Zoro had trained for through years of hard work. He bit his lip and dared to look into Zoro's face to assess his reaction.

Zoro's pupils were huge, the color of his eyes barely visible. His hair looked almost like seaweed as it was illuminated by the bluish light of the aquarium. He stroked his cheek. Sanji leaned into it, his heartbeat calming down a little.

Zoro looked at the circular bench in the middle of the room and Sanji suddenly realized they had had their first kiss here. As romantic as he would normally have found this thought, he couldn’t shake off his guilty conscience when he thought back to how he had rejected Zoro back then.

He grabbed Zoro's head and turned him back to himself, then kissed him, once, twice, maybe an apology. Zoro melted into the kiss, the desperate hurry of a moment ago disappearing. His hands stroked over his sides, his stomach pressed against his as if he wanted to remember every inch of him. Goosebumps ran down his back and he exhaled sighingly, his eyes only half closed.

Zoro reached for his hand and pulled him away from the door. Dazed, Sanji followed him and offered no resistance when Zoro sat down on the bench and pulled him down to himself so that Sanji sat on his lap. The prostheses grazed the bench beneath them. Zoro’s big hands held him in position as he gently bit Sanji’s neck and then licked over it. Heat shot right through his stomach. He could feel Zoro's erection underneath himself and before he could control his movement, he ground his hips over it once.

Zoro gasped for breath, his head falling backwards and his hands clawing into the naked skin above Sanji’s hips.

"Do you want me to come?" Zoro growled at him, but a grin pulled at his mouth. Sanji grinned back. He was sure that he had to be at least as red as Zoro whose ears glowed like a beacon. The blush had even reached his chest. Sanji pushed his hips forward again and shuddered, suppressing a groan as Zoro's hands slipped lower and possessively grabbed his ass cheeks. He pressed himself against him and Sanji felt their cocks grinding against each other through the fabric of their pants. He could only hold on as Zoro let him glide over his lap as if his weight were nothing.

"I-I thought you didn't want to come ... yet?" Sanji struggled to gasp out, his face buried in the crook of Zoro's neck. He panted loudly in his ear, all inhibitions lost.

"You have another idea?"

Zoro bit his ear and Sanji moaned before he could close his mouth. But he was already fiddling with the zipper on Zoro's pants. Zoro held still, even though his hips were still twitching impatiently, but finally Sanji had the clasp open and Zoro lifted his hips so Sanji could pull his pants down a bit.

"You too," Zoro mumbled and already reached for Sanji's zipper.

Sanji had to get up to pull his pants down and over his prostheses. He hesitated; after all, Zoro would come into direct contact with his prostheses now, what if he-

"Come here." Zoro had already drawn him onto his lap, one prosthesis on each side of him. His hands lay on his naked ass and pulled him close to him until their dicks pressed against each other.

The heat from Zoro's cock was almost enough to let him come right here and now. Amazed, Sanji stared between their bodies, Zoro's darker skin against his own. Hesitantly, he reached out and grasped both of them with one hand. Zoro's stomach tensed and he watched his reaction as he slowly moved his hand down.

It was too dry and his hand didn’t slide well, so he stroked his fingertips over Zoro's head, where some drops had already formed, and distributed them as well as he could. Zoro's breath was heavy and he held his head down. He watched what he was doing, Sanji understood belatedly and his dick twitched at the thought. Again, he grasped both of them and his hand began to slide up and down with almost no resistance.

Zoro's hands digged so hard into his ass he was sure they would leave traces. It was almost completely silent in the room, there was only the quiet hum of the aquarium and their panting which from time to time turned into a sudden groan.

Sanji hardly noticed Zoro's fingers on his ass becoming restless, he was far too busy bringing them both to their climax. His head was dizzy, as if he had drunk much more alcohol than the few glasses he remembered and his gaze fixated on between their bodies.

But suddenly Zoro pulled his cheeks apart and touched him between them. He flinched and Zoro's fingers slipped away.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked flabbergasted.

Zoro stared at him every bit as startled as him. Sanji felt heat rising to his face. No one had ever touched him _there_ , not even he himself. How had Zoro come up with this idea now?

"You don’t like that?" Zoro finally asked, his eyebrows screwed together.

Sanji opened his mouth, but closed it again when he couldn’t think of any words. The truth was, he’d hardly had a chance to determine whether he liked it or not. In the first place, he had been startled.

Zoro watched him as if waiting for some reaction as his hands slowly returned to their original position and spread his cheeks apart again. Sanji didn't know why, but this movement alone let heat pool in his stomach. Zoro didn't take his eyes off him when he touched him again. It wasn’t directly unpleasant, but the slight pressure was so unfamiliar that his nerves fired at his brain like crazy. His finger gently circled against it and Sanji's hips twitched forward involuntarily, his mouth falling open as he leaned his forehead against Zoro's shoulder.

"Does it feel good?" Zoro mumbled into his ear, his warm breath brushing over his heated neck. Sanji gritted his teeth and nodded. There was no point in denying it anymore.

He felt Zoro's free hand creep between their bodies and embrace both their cocks. Zoro began a slow rhythm pushing his hand up and down while the other one shamelessly circled his hole. Sanji's heart raced, a thin sweat film had formed on his skin. He never wanted it to end and at the same time couldn't reach his climax fast enough.

A stabbing pain shot through him as Zoro increased the pressure and pushed his finger into him. He arched his back and closed his eyes. This was unlike anything he had imagined, he could no longer think clearly, could not remember why he should be ashamed. If Zoro would just go on like this-

The pressure inside him intensified as Zoro pushed his finger further up to the second joint and Sanji plastered himself against him, didn’t care about the sounds that escaped him, concentrated only on the hand he could thrust into and the finger in his ass.

Zoro kissed his neck as if to calm him down and then bit gently into it. Sanji lifted his head and stroked his nose over his sweat-covered cheek until he could catch him in a kiss. His tongue slipped into his mouth and Zoro replied enthusiastically.

Suddenly, Zoro pulled his finger out of him and Sanji broke the kiss to protest, but at that moment he saw Zoro spitting on his fingers and then sliding them back between his cheeks. Then two fingers pressed against the tight muscle ring and Sanji took a deep breath as they slid into him without much resistance. This time, the pain was more intense and nothing he wanted to ignore. Warningly, he looked at Zoro, but he successfully distracted him by sliding his thumb over his glans - Sanji gasped and glared at him.

Zoro hardly gave him time to get used to his fingers and began to push them deeper into him. His erection had deflated a bit due to the pain, but soon he was back at the same point as before and watched Zoro's face as he recklessly thrusted into his hand. Zoro seemed to be as aroused as he was; he bit his lip and had his gaze fixed on their cocks, his eyebrows scrunched up and his face a deep shade of red.

Sanji supported himself with one hand on Zoro’s shoulder, his thighs slowly becoming tired, the muscles in them burning uncomfortably. His movements slowed down and finally he stopped completely and leaned heavily on Zoro who looked at him in surprise.

"Sorry," Sanji gasped and shuddered as Zoro nibbled on his ear. "I’m exhausted."

Zoro pulled his fingers out of him and Sanji flinched.

"Then lie down," Zoro whispered in his ear. "I'll take care of you."

Hearing those words, Sanji swallowed, but did what he said. His legs trembled as he stood up and lay down next to him on the bench, squeezing his legs together and holding his hands in front of his lap. He felt naked - and although he had been naked for a while, he had the impression that he could hide nothing from Zoro in this position. His cock lay wet and heavy on his stomach.

Zoro used this moment to get up and take off his pants completely. Carelessly, he let them fall next to his shoes and then climbed up to Sanji. He touched the knee joint of the prosthesis with one hand and let his fingers slowly wander up his thigh. His touch tickled at his hip and Zoro moved on, over the sensitive skin of his stomach and one of his nipples which hardened immediately. He leaned over him, his legs placed next to Sanji's thighs, and caressed one of the hickeys he had left on his neck during the last few minutes. After he had wetted his fingers again, he pushed them back into him and Sanji moaned loudly. Zoro grinned at him cheekily.

"You like that?"

Sanji glared at him and refused to answer. Apparently, Zoro didn't want to hear an answer either as he put his hand around Sanji's cock and formed a tunnel into which Sanji thrusted without restraint while Zoro worked his ass in the same rhythm. He felt way too hot, the air around him humid and full of Zoro's scent. Every so often, Zoro's thumb slipped over his glans and every time lightning flashed through him, his fingers clawed into the wood beneath him and suddenly his balls contracted and he came.

Somewhere in the furthest corner of his mind he knew that he had just screamed fucking loud, but he was too lazy to worry about it. With a smug grin, Zoro's face appeared above him.

When Sanji’s heartbeat had calmed down a little, he reached out to him with one arm.

"What about you?"

Zoro bit his lower lip and looked at him hesitantly.

"I'd like to try something."

Sanji nodded even though he had no idea what he planned to do. But so far he hadn’t regretted any decision with him.

Zoro still had two fingers inside him, but now he pulled them out and spat into his hand. When he wetted his cock with it, Sanji realized what he had in mind. Suddenly, Zoro's size seemed less exciting and instead more frightening to him. On the other hand, his fingers had felt damn good, so how good would this feel inside him?

"Is that okay with you?" Zoro asked and Sanji had to smile. There was really no need to worry, he trusted that Zoro would stop if he told him so.

When he did not answer, Zoro bent over him again, but Sanji only pulled him down and entrapped him into a leisurely kiss, their lips gliding against each other without hurry and Zoro sighed contentedly against his mouth. Sanji's hand secretly wandered down over his stomach and grasped his cock. Zoro moaned in his mouth. He applied a little more pressure and Zoro's hips stuttered. His dick felt hot and hard in his hand.

"Sanji," Zoro panted in his mouth.

Reluctantly, Zoro shuffled down and Sanji let go of him. Although he wasn’t hard anymore, his heart was beating in his throat. His hands clasped the edges of the bench below him as Zoro pushed his legs apart and lay between them. The head of his cock pressed against his entrance and Sanji tried to relax. Zoro trembled visibly, looking as if he were going to faint at any moment. Without the cloud of excitement around him, Sanji could see every detail of him: Drops of sweat ran from his hairline over his forehead, his chest raising and lowering rapidly and his pupils huge.

He penetrated him and Sanji breathed sharply in. This hurt more than he’d anticipated. Zoro's cock was much bigger than just two of his fingers and pressed in even deeper. Sanji gritted his teeth and hoped that the pain would be over soon. Zoro's fingers dug into the meat of his thighs as he carefully began to thrust into him. The friction hurt and Sanji put his arm over his eyes.

"Oh, fuck-"

Suddenly, Zoro's hips twitched forward and his cock slid even deeper into him. Something warm and damp spilled into him and perplexed, Sanji raised his arm.

"What-"

"Fuck!" Zoro leaned over him and propped himself up on the bench with both arms. "I'm sorry."

Sanji blinked at him.

"Did you just come?"

Zoro looked to the side.

"Yeah," he mumbled, visibly pissed off that he had come so quickly. Sanji raised one hand and stroked his sweaty hair.

"Don’t worry about that," he assured him. Zoro kissed him quickly on the lips.

"Next time I can last longer."

 _But only with better lubricant than spit_ , Sanji thought. He pulled him close until Zoro lay on top of him. He realized that Zoro still supported himself a bit, so his whole weight wouldn’t crush him. He could feel his heartbeat against his chest which gradually slowed down.

While Zoro caressed his ear, fatigue enveloped him, but he fought against it. He didn't want to sleep yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that finally happened. Please let me know what you think :3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to upload this chapter. Life happened.

On the next morning, he could still feel a dull pain in his butt as he prepared the promised hangover breakfast. Even though it had been surprisingly hot to have Zoro's finger in there, he had to make some preparations first before he’d let him have a go at it again.

Unsuspecting of his thoughts, Zoro worked at the kitchen table. He had instructed him to whip four dozen eggs and mix them with cream and herbs - he wanted to make scrambled eggs with bacon and toast, the best way to regain strength after a long night of partying (and other things).

He would have thought that he wouldn’t be able to look Zoro in the eyes after everything he had done with him. But instead, it was like a curtain had fallen down. When he had woken Zoro up that morning, he had kissed Sanji on the cheek and had then put his clothes on. Not without grumbling, of course. They were both tired.

"Fuck!" Zoro cursed and stuck his fingers into the bowl of eggs.

"What are you doing?"

With two wide steps, Sanji was at his side.

"Eggshell fell in," Zoro grumbled and fished the shell out.

"Take a fork next time! Nobody wants your fingers in their food."

Zoro stuck his tongue out and Sanji would have taken revenge if Nami hadn't entered the kitchen at that very moment. Her hair was tousled and her eyes underlined with dark shadows.

"Good morning, Nami-san!"

Sanji slapped Zoro’s neck and then continued to cut the bacon into small cubes. Nami didn't answer him, but sat down at Zoro's table. After a short moment, in which Sanji pushed the bacon with the blunt side of the knife into the hot pan, she cleared her throat.

"Coffee?" she asked tiredly.

Sanji blinked and then turned to her. He’d completely forgotten to offer her something.

"Of course, Nami!"

He hurried to make her a cup of coffee while watching the pan with the bacon. Nami nodded at him as he finally put the cup in front of her and took a long drink.

Gradually, the others arrived and Sanji remembered to put a cup of coffee in Robin's hand. Breakfast was ready just in time when Luffy stormed into the kitchen and announced that he was practically dying of hunger. Sanji rolled his eyes and put a heap of scrambled eggs with bacon in front of his nose.

This time it was almost a matter of course when he sat next to Zoro, their legs pressed together. Sitting was not particularly pleasant, though, he felt a sting in places he had never felt before, but his thoughts drifted away nonetheless. Would they lock themselves back in the aquarium tonight? He wanted to know what Zoro's fingers would feel like inside him when he found a better lubricant. Or what it would be like if he tried the same thing with Zoro. Restlessly, he slid back and forth on the bench, hoping that the table would hide his growing erection.

"What's the matter, Nami?" he heard Robin ask and tried to concentrate on her words. Nami scrunched up her eyebrows and stared at the compass she was wearing on her wrist.

"I'm not sure." She flicked her fingers against the glass of the compass. "The compass seems to be going crazy. The needle has turned in another direction, even though we've only been going straight ahead since yesterday."

Robin looked at her seriously, but had no explanation for her either.

"I'm sure it's just one of the peculiarities of the Grand Line," Franky said, shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth. Nami nodded, but she didn't seem too convinced.

"Let’s follow the compass for now," she said.

* * *

Sanji couldn’t believe his eyes when the archipelago of Os reappeared on the horizon.

He stood on the upper deck, the glowing cigarette forgotten in one hand while he clung to the railing with the other one. They had tried to follow the compass for three days, but with each mile they had covered, the compass needle turned further west until they were finally sailing into the opposite direction. Nami had observed the star constellations at night and found that they had sailed a large circle, but no one could explain why.

And now they were here again. When he pinched his eyes together, he could see the black columns of smoke in the sky and he asked himself _why_ , were the people there still working in the mine? Even if they could earn the rare metal there for themselves, it was certainly far too dangerous to work underground. Not without securing the mine shafts first.

He looked at Nami who was staring at the islands fiercely. The compass was tied around her thin wrist, but she didn’t pay attention to it. These days, it was as useless as a broken toy.

Finishing his cigarette with a few drags, he stepped down the stairs and approached her. She was wrapped in her thickest winter coat, her hands in soft fur gloves to protect her from the cold. The wind was strong at the moment, blowing her orange hair in her face and she impatiently brushed it aside.

"Any idea?" he finally asked after she hadn't acknowledged his presence in any way. She shook her head, visibly frustrated.

"We were sailing correctly, I'm sure of it! I paid close attention to our position, but every morning when I was looking at the compass, it pointed in a completely different direction! It just doesn't make any sense!"

Sanji remained silent. What could he have said if it wasn't for the solution?

Nami turned the helm.

"We have to try again," she pressed out. Her teeth were chattering with cold.

"The food stores-"

"It should be enough, right?" She looked at him, grim and determined. "Save a little food if you have to."

He nodded. The wind was strong, but as long as it didn’t turn around they could make it. The supplies should be sufficient as long Luffy didn’t get a craving. Nevertheless, he couldn't shake off a bad feeling when he went into the kitchen, picked up a pen and notebook and began to write down a new, narrower meal plan for the next two weeks.

Zoro came in just before noon and looked over his shoulder. He looked at him questioningly.

"Nami is trying another route," was the only thing Sanji replied. Zoro sat next to him, his leg pressed against his, and put an arm around him.

"Luffy won't like this."

"Trust me, me neither," Sanji muttered and put the pen away. Zoro's breath brushed over his cheek, his mouth grazing his ear. He half expected Zoro to whisper some encouraging words to him, but he did nothing of the sort and they sat together in comfortable silence for a while until it was time for him to prepare lunch.

He had a bad feeling.

* * *

Two days later his premonition confirmed itself.

They had returned to the same place as before, as if they had turned in a circle. Dark shadows had appeared under Sanji's eyes and the hand with which he put his cigarette to his mouth trembled. He had hardly slept. Instead, he had spent half the night restlessly throwing himself from one side to the other, his clothes wet with cold sweat and the bad memories of the last time he had felt so feverish.

But he was perfectly healthy. He had gotten up in the middle of the night and had taken a look at the sea, the black water like ink in a huge glass, the stars behind the clouds barely visible. And yet he had known that something was fundamentally wrong. He was no navigator and couldn't read the stars to find his way - but when Nami finally got up first thing in the morning, he didn't even have to look at the smoke in the distance. Her face was all the confirmation he needed.

He threw his cigarette into the sea and turned his back on the island. The door to the kitchen slammed into the wall as he rushed through and stomped into the pantry. Their supplies had shrunken alarmingly in the last few days and he knew that they would not even make it to the next island with these miserable leftovers. It would be crazy to try anyway. Maybe it was even luck that they arrived here. Who knew what was wrong with this part of the sea - they could have wandered aimlessly around the sea for weeks until they finally had nothing left to eat but crumbs and dust.

He prepared a meagre breakfast of rice and dried fish. His mood worsened when he saw the disgruntled faces of his nakama and he was tempted to go back to the pantry. But nobody had to go hungry yet - and he had taken it upon himself to keep it that way.

He wiped the counter with more power than was necessary. He had noticed that Luffy had stayed in the kitchen after breakfast, his arms lying flat on the tabletop and his head put between them. Sanji deliberately ignored him.

"Saaanjiii," Luffy sighed and Sanji rolled his eyes. Subtlety was not Luffy's strong suit. "I'm hungry!"

Damn it. He knew that no one had eaten their fill and that, despite his efforts, the food had not tasted as good as usual. But these three words worked like a magic spell on him and he clawed his fingers into the cleaning cloth.

"Then distract yourself somehow," he muttered without looking at him. "Go on the Marimo's nevers or go outside."

"Zoro is sleeping," Luffy grumbled and Sanji wasn't even surprised that the moss head was asleep again so soon after breakfast. "And it's cold outside."

"You could fish," Sanji replied, suddenly inspired. He didn't think Luffy would catch much, but with a bit of luck it would increase their supplies a little bit. "I'll give you a blanket against the cold, too."

Luffy raised his head and looked at him. His interest was definitely caught.

"And hot cocoa?" he asked, the innocence in person.

Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Okay."

A few minutes later, Luffy ran onto the deck with more enthusiasm than was appropriate in this cold. Sanji looked through the porthole and watched as he ran to the rail and threw his fishing line into the sea. Then he devoted himself again to the mountain of dirty dishes.

It was only after a while that he noticed that the calls outside weren’t normal.

He looked up, his hands still in the hot water, and took a look through the porthole over the sink. Luffy was no longer in the same place, the spot at the railing deserted. His gaze followed the railing up to the lion's head at the top of their ship, Luffy's favourite spot, where he was most often found next to the kitchen.

Luffy squatted behind the lion's wooden mane, his hands closed around something he couldn’t see. Nami and Zoro stood in front of him and were agitatedly talking to each other - he shook the water off his hands, quickly drying them, and grabbed his coat which hung on the door. With long steps he hurried out.

Outside, the voices of the others sloshed over to him, but he could only understand them when he was almost with them.

"-don’t understand where this is coming from," Nami exclaimed frustrated as he stopped in front of them. Sanji looked confusedly back and forth between her and Luffy and then realized what his captain was holding in his hands.

A Denden-Mushi.

It was one of the smaller ones that many people carried around in their jacket pocket, but it fulfilled the same functions as a normal large one. The snail trembled and was covered in ice, but its eyes stared at them wide awake. Sanji reached out for it.

"How did this get here?" he asked, confused. They had their own Denden-Mushi, but it was rarely used and usually stood asleep in the kitchen. Luffy pointed to the lion's head.

"It was in the middle of the lion's head," Nami explained. Sanji took the Denden-Mushi in his hand and held it in front of his face. The fact that its eyes were open had to mean that it was active. He held it closer to his ear and listened - and there, very weak and hardly audible because of the wind that rushed around them, he could hear a faint hum.

He pressed on the side of the snail shell and immediately the Denden-Mushi closed its eyes and the buzzing stopped.

Nami looked at him with wide eyes. Zoro crossed his arms.

"Someone was watching us," she said in a firm voice. Sanji clenched his free hand to a fist. He let the Denden-Mushi slide into his jacket pocket. Even if it could be remote controlled, the spy would see nothing else than the inside of his cloak.

Luffy pulled his straw hat deeper into his face, looking at the islands.

"We're going back," he said.

"What?" Zoro and Sanji shouted simultaneously.

"Someone wants us to stay here." Luffy looked at Nami seriously. "And we don't have enough food anyway, do we?"

Nami sighed.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Luffy's right. Even if we could get through without problems this time, our supplies would barely be enough."

Sanji and Zoro exchanged a concerned look. The Denden-Mushi suddenly felt heavy in his pocket. Why did he suddenly feel so uncomfortable?

"But who could be watching us? And how did they manage to attach it to the ship without anyone noticing?" Sanji put his hands on his hips.

"I guess we'll find out soon enough," Nami said grimly before she went to the helm and swirled it around. The Sunny leaned into a curve and Sanji kept his balance as the deck swayed. "The wind is favorable - we'll be there in half a day!"

Zoro wrapped his arm around him and held his mouth close to his ear.

"Let's go inside. It's cold," he muttered. Sanji rolled his eyes - hadn't he been the one who had just dozed outside in the cold?

Nevertheless he let himself be dragged into the kitchen, one hand tightly wrapped around the Denden-Mushi in his pocket. Luffy and Nami followed them. He spent a while preparing something warm to drink for everyone and finally slipped onto the bench next to Zoro. The moss head immediately pulled him close and after short hesitation Sanji lowered his head onto his shoulder, clutching the cup of hot tea. Luffy tried to drink the tea already and burned his mouth.

Nami tapped her index finger against her lower lip.

"It must be the Navy," she finally said. "I mean, it can only be someone from the islands. And the residents probably don't even have the necessary wherewithal for a Denden-Mushi."

"But when would they’ve had a chance to sneak onto the ship and put it there?" Sanji wasn’t convinced. Something didn’t fit completely into the events, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

"Fact is _that_ they did it. _How_ they did it isn’t important."

Sanji shuddered, even though the cup’s heat almost burned his fingers.

"That might sound a little crazy now," he began, looking at the steam rising from the cup, "but what if it's Vane?"

Nami looked at him, astonished.

"You mean he planted the Denden-Mushi before he died?" She leaned back and drank a sip, her eyebrows thoughtfully pinched together. "It's possible. Especially when you consider his abilities. He wouldn't even have to come on the ship."

"That would mean that the recording wouldn’t lead anywhere now and no one would watch us," Zoro intervened.

That sounded too good to be true, Sanji thought, but didn’t say anything.

"But that still doesn't explain why we're not making any headway," Nami continued. "It’s possible that the sea is just crazy, but there has to be a way out of here. After all, the Navy also made it!" Abruptly, she got up. "I'll ask Robin if she can find anything about it in her books."

She left the kitchen. With trembling fingers, Sanji lifted the cup to his mouth and took a cautious sip. Only then did he realize that Luffy was staring at him.

"What?"

"That's not what you meant, is it?" asked Luffy and tilted his head. His cup was empty and Sanji wondered how or when he had done it. "With Vane. You didn't mean _before_ he died."

He noticed Zoro looking at him in confusion, but ignored it for the moment.

"I know it's crazy. But I - somehow I have the feeling that it wasn't the end."

"Sanji." Zoro put one hand on his chin and turned his head towards him. "That's what we were talking about. It's okay to be scared. But Vane's dead. Definitely. You killed him."

Sanji pushed his hand away.

"Did I ...?" he muttered quietly.

"You _impaled_ him!"

"You've survived worse," Sanji countered, suddenly angry.

It was irrational, he knew that. Crazy. He had seen Vane's eyes, they had been empty. There hadn't been anyone there, just a dead body. And yet he couldn't stop dreaming or shake off the tingling in his neck, that he just had to turn around - as if Vane was always only one glance away, his outline always in the corner of his eye.

He was going crazy.

"It doesn't matter who did it," Luffy finally said and got up. Sanji heard him go past him and to the fridge. "We'll beat him whether it’s Vane or someone else. And then we can go on with our adventure!"

That lured a reluctant smile on his lips. Luffy's way of seeing the world was so wonderfully simple. He jerked his head, his face hidden behind a curtain of hair.

"I'm going fishing again! Bye!"

Luffy ran out of the kitchen and slammed the door behind him. For a while, neither of them said a word, but Sanji leaned back against Zoro, who embraced him with both arms.

Sanji finally raised his head and looked up at the moss head in amusement.

"He stole food from the fridge, didn't he?"

* * *

It was like Nami said: It had just become evening when they anchored in the same bay from which they had departed just a few days ago. Sanji chewed restlessly on a cigarette, the tobacco bitter on his tongue. They had no idea what was waiting for them here. But he was sure they weren't prepared enough.

Nobody took his words seriously. Zoro believed that he was afraid and Nami - whom he had spoken to again later - didn’t believe him. He wasn't even sure where that crazy thought had come from. Robin had also found no indication in her books that the waters around the islands had any special characteristics.

Even if Vane was still alive - which he wasn't, goddamn it, he had killed him himself! - it wouldn't explain why they'd been sailing in circles for days. The most likely explanation was that the Navy had somehow managed to spy on them and that the seas of the New World remained unpredictable.

He hoped that they could simply replenish their supplies for the second time while Nami tried to figure out how to navigate a way away from here.

Zoro, who had stepped silently on the deck behind him, flicked him in the neck.

"Hey, curlybrow. Finished brooding?"

"One of us has to be the one thinking," Sanji replied flippantly and threw the cigarette overboard, but it was more out of habit than real anger. Zoro snorted.

"Oh, that almost hurt me now." His face slid into his field of vision. He grinned and pointed backwards with his thumb. "What d’you say, you coming to the lookout?"

Sanji looked at him unimpressed, even though his pulse accelerated with these words.

"You're insatiable." But he set himself in motion. Zoro walked beside him, his hands crossed behind his head.

"What can I say? You're not making this hard for me." His eyes glided appreciatively over his body. Sanji blushed and quickened his pace when Zoro shouted after him: "What, no reply?"

Now practiced again, Sanji climbed up to the crow's nest and waited until Zoro came through the hatch behind him before closing it again.

Sanji turned back to him with his hands deep in his trouser pockets. Damn, he was nervous. This time it was almost as if they had planned it. He bit his lip and slowly teetered back and forth on his prostheses. This time he had even taken precautions; his hand enclosed the small tube which he had secretly borrowed from Chopper's medicine cabinet. It certainly wasn't meant for that purpose and he would probably be very embarrassed if Chopper ever found out what he had stolen the tube for.

Zoro approached him and put his arms around his hips. Sanji put his head on his shoulder.

"You know what I like best about you," Zoro muttered into his hair, "is that you keep going. You could have turned your back on us any time, but instead you looked forward. And that's even though you’ve almost shit your pants-"

"Hey!"

Zoro hugged him.

"Carrying on despite this fear, is the greatest strength for me," he whispered in his ear and Sanji's neck prickled.

Damn it, Zoro got it all wrong. He didn't go on despite his fear, but precisely _because_ of his fear. At first he had been afraid to face his friends or to endanger them because of his injury. Then he had been afraid that Zoro would be as disgusted by him as he had been disgusted by himself. And then he had been scared when he saw Vane so close to the other ship and finally in the town. The last few months had been marked by his fear - but what else could he do but fight?

His biggest fear still was losing his nakama.

But he said nothing as he finally wrapped his arms around Zoro and pressed his mouth on the vein at his neck. They were pirates; a life could be over in an blink of an eye. The stronger they became, the more vulnerable they were. They were messing with forces he couldn't even have imagined a few years ago.

Zoro's pulse raced. Stroking his bristly hair with one hand, Sanji took a step back. His back hit the wall of the crow's nest and Zoro pressed his full length against him. Sanji let his hands wander across his back, amazed at how familiar he had become with each of his muscles, the sharp curvature of his shoulder blades and small knots of his spine, and he pressed his fingertips into the small hollow just above his tailbone. Zoro's breath sped up and he felt his half hard cock pressing against his leg.

He strengthened his hold on Zoro's hair and pulled his head towards him to finally be able to kiss him. Zoro's tongue dipped into his mouth without hesitation and plundered it, his hands wandering light as a feather over his sides. Sanji's head filled with cotton wool. Every touch just felt so good, whether it came from Zoro or from him, and he plucked at Zoro's shirt almost greedily to get rid of it. Zoro took a step back without interrupting the kiss and pulled it over his head, then he also freed Sanji from his sweater. His skin burned as hot as if he had been lying under the sun all day.

Sanji let his fingers glide over his scar and then lower, but Zoro stopped him.

"Wait," he gasped in his ear and damn, if he wouldn’t come from that, then there was at least not much was missing. By now, his pants had become too tight.

Zoro leaned over to him and kissed the spot behind his ear. Sanji closed his eyes, his pulse slowing down a bit. If they continued like this, it would be over in a few minutes; it was probably better not to rush things. Zoro's breath brushed over the wet spot on his skin that he had left behind and then slipped deeper. He left gentle kisses on his neck and collarbone. Sanji's breath hitched as Zoro fell to his knees in front of him and covered his stomach with kisses, each touch causing the muscles there to twitch. His tongue dipped briefly into his belly button and he laughed because it tickled. He could feel Zoro's grin on his stomach.

A soft clink told him that Zoro was tampering with his belt. He couldn't help but open his eyes and glance down - Zoro had just managed to open it. He slightly pulled his pants down and bit gently into the skin just above his hip bone.

Sanji groaned and then pressed his lips together, determined not to let another sound like this escape. Zoro let his tongue slide over the sore spot and Sanji's dick twitched. Damn, if Zoro kept doing this, he'd come here and now, no matter how hard he tried to hold back.

It took some skill, but eventually Zoro managed to pull his pants and underwear down to his knees and Sanji swallowed when he saw the look on Zoro's face. Putting one hand on his left ass cheek, he bent forward and carefully touched the head of his cock with the tip of his tongue. Sanji's dick twitched up again and he was glad he could lean against the wall.

Zoro grabbed his hips with both hands and took his cock in his mouth. Moist heat - Sanji pinched his eyes together, his mouth was almost enough to let him come, if he’d also watch his mouth slowly slide over his cock until it had almost completely disappeared inside him - his hips twitched forward involuntary, but Zoro's strong grip prevented him from pushing into his mouth. His tongue kept slipping over the underside of his cock and he needed a moment to realize that the loud panting in the room came from him. He braced himself against the wooden wall behind him and searched for support without finding it. Zoro shifted his hold so that he could hold him with one arm across his stomach and grasped his cock with the other hand. He buried a hand in Zoro's hair, applying gentle pressure while the tip of his cock hit Zoro’s throat rhythmically.

His balls contracted, he tried to suppress it or to warn him, but suddenly the heat shot out of his stomach and his whole body shuddered when he came. Zoro flinched and cool air met his wet cock as he slipped out of his mouth. Sanji breathed heavily as he slid down the wall. Zoro knelt between his legs and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his tongue flicking out and licking his lips.

Sanji leaned his head against the wall and watched him out of half closed eyes. Some of his hair was stuck against his forehead.

Zoro stroked the inside of his thighs. Sanji looked at him exhausted and finally reached out to him.

"Come here," he muttered, and Zoro shuffled over to him.

It required some shifting around as they righted Sanji's pants over his prostheses, but finally Sanji leaned against the wall, Zoro pushed his back against his upper body, his head back so that he could bury his nose in Sanji's hair. He had put his arms on both of Sanji's thighs, the fingers of one hand stroking sluggishly over the knee joint of one prosthesis.

Sanji had put his arms around him and glanced down. He couldn't see Zoro's face well from here, but he seemed completely relaxed, a smile crept onto his face and he pressed a kiss on the corner of Zoro's mouth. Zoro grumbled quietly and pressed himself even closer to him, his breath ruffling the hair on his neck. Sanji's eyes glided over his naked chest and he couldn't help but stroke the reddened skin. Zoro stretched towards his touch and Sanji slowly pushed his hand over his stomach to the waistband of his pants. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach anything else from this position, but Zoro already slipped further up and Sanji opened his pants with a practiced movement. Turning Zoro’s head towards him, Sanji licked over his ear.

"Reach into my pocket, Marimo."

Zoro looked at him in surprise, but did what he said and his eyes widened when he found the tube Sanji had stolen. With reddening ears he turned back to him and handed the tube to Sanji who opened it one-handed and put a generous amount of the gel on his hand. Zoro wriggled out of his pants and struggled with his legs until he had shaken them off.

Zoro gasped as Sanji wrapped one hand around his cock and slid it rhythmically up and down. The gel made it way better and Sanji felt himself getting hard again while Zoro moaned into his ear. He wondered if Zoro would allow him to ...?

Massaging the inside of Zoro's thighs with his free hand, he proceeded to slide it deeper between his legs. Zoro tensed up for a moment when he realized what he had in mind and then relaxed completely. Sanji watched him as he slowly shoved a finger between his buttocks. Zoro gasped and Sanji wanted to pull his finger back when Zoro suddenly pressed himself against him, a drop of sweat on his forehead. Sanji bit his lip, entranced by Zoro. Again, he pressed his finger against the muscle ring and slid it in without much resistance. It was hot and incredibly tight and just the thought of pushing his cock in there made him dizzy. He was afraid of hurting him - it had fucking hurt when he’d tried it the other way around - but Zoro seemed to like it. His cock was rock-hard under his hand and he pressed towards him.

After a short time Sanji dared to add a second finger. He greased them again with the lubricant and then pressed them against Zoro’s entrance. He was fascinated by how far he could push them into him, the muscles that surrounded him practically pulling him in. His dick was hard again and trapped between his stomach and Zoro's back. He pressed a third finger into him and Zoro's eyebrows scrunched up, an expression of discomfort on his face. Suddenly, his finger brushed over a small knot and Zoro twitched and arched his back.

"Are you all right?" Sanji asked in a panic. Damn it, he didn't mean to hurt him!

Zoro looked at him with his eyes wide open.

"Do it again," he demanded and pushed against his fingers. Sanji obeyed him and grazed it with his fingers once more. Zoro gasped and his cock twitched noticeably. He couldn't take his eyes off him.

Damn, he couldn't wait any longer.

With a sound that would normally would have let him blush, he pulled his fingers out of him and turned them both over, so that Zoro knelt in front of him and supported himself against the wall with both hands. Sanji almost dropped the tube as he squeezed more gel out of it and spread it on his cock. Zoro looked over his shoulder and watched what he was doing and Sanji caught his eye and the nervousness fell off him like leaves in autumn.

He put one hand on Zoro's muscular ass and positioned himself in front of his entrance. His gaze focused on him, he carefully pushed in, his hole opening like a ripe fruit and Sanji gritted his teeth together so as not to immediately sink into him completely. He was so fucking hot and tight and every now and then all of Zoro’s muscles contracted and pressed against his cock. Zoro panted loudly, still watching him and Sanji grabbed his hips as he began to push into him a few inches deeper.

He had always imagined sex to be completely different. In a bed surrounded by rose petals while the faceless but beautiful lady beneath him made soft, tender sounds - Zoro, on the other hand, moaned anything but quietly and arched towards him. Sanji pushed his thumbs into his hips and pressed further into him.

"I'm not made of glass, cook!" Zoro growled. "If you don't move, I will!"

As tempting as that sounded, he had other plans. His fingers pressed deep into his skin and would certainly leave traces, but finally he sank all the way into him. Zoro slid down the wall until his forearms lay flat on the floor. His back was arched and shiny with sweat, green hair sticking to his forehead.

Sanji licked his lips and pulled a bit back. At the next thrust, Zoro gasped and soon they had found a fast rhythm. His heart beat almost painfully in his chest and he struggled for breath, looking alternately at Zoro's neck and his ass where his cock disappeared again and again. He was looking for the spot he had just touched with his fingers and immediately noticed it as he found it: Zoro shouted and his muscles clenched. Sanji panted and bent over him, burying a hand in his hair, his mouth pressed against his wet neck. He pushed into him hard and fast, banishing any consideration to the farthest corner of his mind, but Zoro didn’t complain and instead met each of his thrusts.

The muscles in his legs protested and he lowered more of his weight on Zoro to hold out a little longer. Zoro raised his head and met his gaze.

Suddenly, he was pushed up and then away from Zoro; his cock slipped out of him and Sanji looked at him confused. Zoro laid him on his back as if he weighed nothing and sat down on him. His cock slipped back into the heat without any resistance and Sanji's eyes rolled backwards.

Zoro's rhythm was slower than his own. He felt every inch he sunk into him and his eyes slid up. Zoro had thrown his head back, his eyes closed as he slowly moved up and down.

Sanji stroked his thighs and then pulled him down. He kissed him, nibbled gently on his lower lip and Zoro moaned softly into his mouth. He pressed him against himself and thrusted upwards and together they found a rhythm that drove them ever higher. Heat clenched in his stomach and he felt Zoro's cock trapped between their stomachs, his fingers caressing his naked, sweat-covered skin everywhere, and finally he wrapped his arms around him and held him while Zoro stuttered out moans and finally went silent; his heels slid across the floor and he shuddered. He poured over Sanji’s and his stomach and suddenly everything inside him contracted, his thrusts becoming irregular as he held Zoro even closer against himself and came deep inside him.

Zoro was panting loudly in his ear. Sanji struggled for breath and swallowed, then he pushed with both hands against Zoro's shoulder, his weight suddenly too heavy. Zoro rolled down from him, but still held him tightly, one leg between Sanji's prostheses. Sanji turned his head to him and saw that Zoro was watching him.

Fuck, he should say something. Or would that destroy the atmosphere? How should he know what people said after sex?

Zoro's mouth twitched.

"I can hear you thinking," he said in a rough voice, reaching out to stroke his side.

Sanji's brain short-circuited and he bursted out, "I love you!" Zoro paused, but then he drew him close and continued to cuddle him, looking straight into his eyes.

"I love you, too."

Sanji felt like pudding. Tiredness pulled on his eyelids, but he didn't want to sleep yet. After they had at least put on their pants again, Zoro covered them both with a blanket, which he must have stowed away here at some point, and Sanji put his head on his chest, their arms and legs tangled together. Zoro was still petting him, but this time the touch wasn’t to arouse him. Maybe he wanted to memorize every inch of him, maybe he didn't have a goal at all. His other hand was buried in Sanji's hair and gently massaged his scalp.

That's why Sanji quickly realized when Zoro had fallen asleep. His movements slowed down and then halted completely, one hand fell to the floor next to him and the other still lay possessively on his bare hip.

Sanji was wide awake. He was almost drunk with joy and that was something he hadn’t expected since the accident. He had felt weak and useless, a burden, even a danger to his friends. Now he felt stronger than ever before. Maybe his dream wasn't lost, maybe he would finally find All Blue. He would be part of the Straw Hats until Luffy became pirate king.

Zoro's chest slowly rose with his breath and he kissed the skin on his collarbone. The night was bright, the moon, covered only by a few clouds, shone through the window and cast long shadows into the crow's nest. He occupied himself for a while with making out the contours of the rocks that fell sharply into the sea.

It was only for this reason that he could make out a movement on the cliffs and his eyes widened. But it was already too late, he jumped up and just managed to parry the flashing knife with the sharp blade of one prosthesis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	17. Chapter 17

For the first few seconds he couldn't think, just react - the knife slipped from his prosthesis and jabbed out again at a different angle; he jumped back and dodged, but it was close. Zoro ripped the blanket off and he could see how he paled despite the faint light.

"What the-"

Sanji didn't answer, he was too busy defending his life while Zoro grabbed his swords and finally threw himself into battle. Ice-gray eyes met his and his attacker twisted his mouth into a cruel smile.

Sanji wanted to throw up. He had killed him, how was that even possible-

Down on the deck a fight had broken out and anger seized him as he realized that the Navy had boarded their ship.

There was no time to think; Vane dashed at him and he jumped back. Zoro threw himself between them, but before he’d reached him, Vane suddenly disappeared from his field of vision and horror poured into his stomach as he felt breath against his neck - he ducked and felt the swing of the knife whizzing over his head. Zoro crashed against him and he struggled for air.

"Shit, what are you doing, Marimo?" he screamed and Zoro gave him a rushed look, his eyes wide. Out of nowhere, Vane appeared behind him and Zoro whirled around, two of his swords whirred through the air and hit - nothing.

Damn it, they couldn't afford any distractions. Sanji's legs throbbed and he thought he could feel his toes pressing against the wooden planks beneath him. He risked looking down and it was like being showered with ice-cold water as the familiar sight of the silver prostheses slapped him in the face.

He threw himself over to Zoro and pressed his back against him.

"We can’t play into his cards," Sanji hissed, his eyes scurrying restlessly through the seemingly empty room. Where was this bastard? As far as he knew, he couldn't make himself invisible, so he had to be _somewhere_. "He tries to use us against each other, we can’t let him!”

"But how can we attack him then?” Zoro turned so that they stood back to back. The air had cooled noticeably in the last hour and goose bumps formed on his naked skin. Zoro's breathing was way too fast. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"Then be better than last time.”

Zoro gripped his katana firmer and from the corner of his eye, Sanji saw that he was nodding.

"Can you feel him?" Sanji whispered. Even though he didn't think it would do any good.

He also concentrated on his observation Haki; the contours around him disappeared, but he could feel Zoro's pulse against his back, calm and powerful. He pushed his thoughts far out, beyond the crow's nest. The waves were beating loudly against the bow of the ship where the battle raged; broken bones, shouts of soldiers falling overboard, the explosions of Usopp's smoke bombs - he concentrated on what was closer to him and felt the tiny movements of the wood expanding in the walls around them. He followed an elegant arc upwards, up to the vaulted ceiling-

As soon as he noticed the pulse above him, it had already disappeared again and Sanji opened his eyes and yanked his leg upwards to parry the knife. Another flash and he crashed against the wall, Vane's breath close to his ear for a second before he disappeared again and Zoro slammed against him. His shoulder collided with Sanji’s stomach and he struggled for air. Vane materialized behind them and his knife chimed bright against Zoro's katana.

"This time you won't fool us, bastard," Zoro growled and Vane twisted his mouth into a broad grin.

"Haven’t I already done that?” He laughed and when Sanji blinked, he was gone again, only his laughter remained, cold as quicksilver in his ear and then suddenly he was next to him and Sanji flinched back, the knife just barely missing him, but it was only a matter of time, he could only dodge, still too weak, none of the crew strong enough against an opponent as unpredictable and untouchable as this one, like a shadow trickling through his fingers.

Despair welled up in him and a familiar pain pricked his legs. His breath faltered in his throat as he looked at Zoro's swords and recognized their sharpness. What kept him from grabbing each devil fruit user of their crew and throwing them into the sea? What kept him from ramming the knife into his throat?

It was just playfulness, but it was cruel, like a cat playing with a mouse. Vane already knew how the game would end, but it wasn't enough for him to win. First, he wanted to prove his superiority.

Sanji's eyes stung. Was this the day their journey ended? The day they would all die before even one of them had fulfilled their dreams. Had it just been a child’s dream, far away from reality?

A sudden pain shot into his thigh and as he looked down at himself, he just managed to get a glimpse of Vane before he teleported again. His eyes still projected a faint image of him until he blinked and it disappeared. A dark patch spread across his pants and the smell of iron pierced his nose; he had barely missed the artery in his leg, but it had been intentional.

"Sanji! Don't just stand there!" Zoro shouted at him and he wrenched himself out of his thoughts. Pain hit him a thousandfold and only now did he _see_ Zoro, blood on his temple and bleeding from numerous superficial wounds. Vane teleported around him again and again, so fast that he could hardly catch a glimpse of him, and Zoro did his best to fend him off. But Vane hit him over and over and Zoro glared at Sanji. "What is wrong with you? Are you _sleeping_ or what? Fucking fight!"

Sanji wanted to answer him. Wanted to tell him it was hopeless if he hadn't managed to defeat him the last time. That there was no point in fighting because they would lose anyway.

And then he noticed that Zoro would probably smack him across the face if he said that.

Fuck it, there was always an easy way. But the more difficult one was so much more _worth it_.

He tensed his muscles and made a wide jump to Zoro who ducked, just as Vane flashed up again for a second and his prosthesis hit Vane’s shoulder. Vane screamed and immediately disappeared, but Sanji knew he’d hurt him. Before he could be happy about that, Vane appeared next to him, knife drawn, Sanji kicked at his hand and Vane screamed, the knife fell to the ground with a clatter and Zoro struck with his sword afterwards - a bloodcurdling scream echoed through the crow's nest as blood splashed across the floor and Sanji realized that Zoro had just injured Vane’s hand. A single finger lay on the floor.

"You caught him," he gasped. Zoro wiped blood from his forehead.

"So did you.”

He concentrated on his Haki so that they wouldn’t be surprised again. He could feel Vane’s presence, but only for a fraction of a second, a flickering that circled them and was so fast that he couldn't see him in the semi-darkness.

"We must wait until he attacks again," Sanji whispered. Barely noticeable, Zoro nodded.

His muscles were aching with tension and he had to hold back from attacking blindly. Outside, it had become even louder. He hoped none of his friends were hurt, but they had to come out alive of here first before they could find out.

And suddenly the moment had come; without warning, Vane dashed towards him and Sanji jumped up to avoid him, Zoro let two of his swords whiz through the air without hitting and Sanji turned in the air, one of his legs raised vertically, and Vane appeared in front of him, dark metal in his hand, but no knife.

He kicked down with full force and his prosthesis collided with Vane's upper body, he was thrown down and crashed through the bottom of the crow's nest as Zoro jumped to the side, a stunned expression on his face. Wood shavings flew through the air and Sanji dropped through the splinted hole down to the deck where the rest of the battle was.

His nakama were scattered, each involved in their own fight. Dozens of Marines lay dead or badly injured on the deck, but some of the stronger ones still bravely held their ground against the Straw Hats. He hit the deck below and pain leaped from his knees up to the wound Vane had inflicted on him. His breath left white steam in the air, the cold stroking his half-naked body.

"Sanji!”

Usopp was suddenly at his side and aimed a pepper bomb at a soldier who was approaching them. When the soldier fell down screaming and with teary eyes, the sniper turned to him.

"Why the hell aren't you wearing anything?" he shouted. Zoro landed next to them, one sword in each hand and one in his mouth, his gaze wild. Usopp looked at him in amazement. "You too?"

"Long story." Sanji shivered and rubbed his arms while he still tried to find Vane. He could be anywhere. Even though he was weakened, he couldn’t afford to underestimate him. What had Vane had in his hand? It hadn't been a knife, but he had only seen it for a moment, it was-

A bang almost ruptured his eardrum and next to him, Zoro gasped. Horrified, he saw Zoro stumble and fall to his knees, a hole just above his hip.

The son of a bitch had a gun. Of all the lousy, cowardly ways of fighting, he had chosen a gun.

Usopp stared with big eyes at Zoro's wound and then shot a smoke bomb into the air. The smoke quickly spread and enveloped them. But he knew it would only be enough for a short delay and he reached out to Zoro and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he hissed at him.

Zoro looked at him, his face distorted with pain, but then he stood up again and nodded. Sanji glanced at his back - no exit wound. The bullet was still stuck in his body, and although that was good for the moment because it meant he would bleed less, it made him all the more angry.

The smoke was already beginning to clear, swirling from the many battles around them, and Sanji stretched his Haki out to feel for Vane. He had to get him away from the ship, away from his friends. He looked at Zoro, bleeding from many small wounds and nausea bubbled up in him. The wound in his thigh hurt like hell and he knew he had already lost a lot of blood. He swallowed, his throat dry, and at the same moment felt Vane change location and he yanked Zoro aside. The bullet pierced the deck and Zoro stared at him with big eyes, while Sanji hastily picked himself up and pulled him up as well, not a second too early as Vane attacked again and ice clenched in his stomach as several shots cut through the night and miraculously, they didn’t get hit.

Sanji _hated_ guns. They were fatal and it was incredibly hard to avoid them, especially in the hands of someone like Vane. He pressed his back against Zoro’s and hoped that Vane would soon have to reload. Only then did they have a chance to get closer to him again. Zoro's skin against his felt clammy and hot. His pulse ran at full speed, Zoro’s muscles tense like a bowstring as he fended off the bullets with the broad side of his katana.

"Hey, mosshead." Sanji turned his head to Zoro so he could see his face. His hair was plastered against his forehead. He was still searching the ship with his Haki, looking for the trail he had lost. He couldn’t find him with his eyes. "Don’t you dare to get hit again."

Zoro snorted and fended off several bullets.

"Not my intention, curlybrow."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure."

And suddenly, silence. Sanji's heart stumbled when he noticed that Vane hadn't fired for a few seconds and jumped up, away from Zoro and the Sunny which was getting smaller and smaller under him. The wind cut into his skin and bit into his wound. He concentrated on his rusty ability to run through the air, but then he felt it: the air seemed to become firmer under his prostheses and he climbed it up like steps, higher and higher, until the Sunny seemed like a toy ship under him.

He flinched as his Haki told him there was movement under him - but he had trouble tracking him. In one second, he was still on the deck and in the next he had overcome half the distance, and then-

Sanji whipped his knee up and rammed it into Vane’s stomach, but he teleported away and the momentum threw him around in the air and horror overtook him as he felt Vane behind him. He whirled around, but Vane disappeared again, leaving only a laugh behind. Again and again he dodged him in the same way, while Sanji lost more and more height and became frantic. There had to be a way to be faster than he was-

He fought against his instincts and didn't turn around when Vane reappeared behind him, but dropped down, his arms flat against his body to gain speed. Vane teleported right next to him, an amused glint in his eyes.

"Want to give up?" he shouted over to him, barely audible over the rush of the wind. The sea was rapidly coming closer and he gritted his teeth. As a devil’s fruit user, Vane couldn’t follow him into the sea, but the cold would kill Sanji in a few minutes. The wind burned in his wide eyes and he held his breath, the black water under him almost there.

He changed course, fire flared at his prostheses and painted the sea orange, water splashed and spiralled around him as he pushed against the air and shot up again. Vane was close on his heels, then almost at his neck, the gun’s muzzle pressed against his back and any moment now he would pull the trigger the bullet ripping through his flesh-

Vane suddenly disappeared. Sanji whirled around, his eyes widening in disbelief as he noticed Vane approaching the Sunny where Zoro and everyone else were. The gun was still loaded and when he surprised them, it was too easy to take one or two lives.

He kicked off, down to the ship, but it was like in slow motion, his legs leaving a column of smoke behind him, way too slow-

He had to get faster, faster-

The deck approached rapidly, but Sanji didn't stop.

A bang almost ruptured his eardrum and suddenly the Sunny appeared right in front of him, much closer than he’d expected, and he collided with something hard. He staggered back, a high ringing sound in his ear - Vane did the same, his eyes bulging.

Sanji recovered himself first. He rushed towards Vane and Vane jerked back, his instincts apparently stronger than the memory of his abilities, Sanji tried to kick him and missed only by a hair.

At the last moment, Vane teleported away and Sanji's prosthesis hit nothing, the flames flickering due to the sudden shift of air. Something flashed in the corner of his eye and he yanked his leg up and kicked the gun out of Vane’s hand. The barrel scratched past the side of his prosthesis and slipped away; he yanked his leg down and kicked it into Vane's face, hurling him down.

Sanji followed him and before Vane could compose himself again, he gave him another kick in the stomach, the sharp edge of his prosthesis leaving a gaping wound on his chest. Vane gurgled and flickered for a moment, teleported himself again, but only a hand's width away from him, not enough to avoid Sanji's next attack, a hard kick straight to his neck and his head jerking to the side.

Water splashed around them and Vane's arms shot out, trying to grab him, but Sanji pushed him with one leg down into the shallow water they had landed in, the narrow ridge between the ice island and the deep ocean.

Sanji breathed heavily. So much hatred, so much fear of this man who was now trying to escape like a weak fish. Vane was partly in the water, his torn clothes soaked. His efforts became weaker and weaker and only then did Sanji realize that the sea water was robbing him of his powers. His head wasn't completely covered with water yet, but the waves broke over him and he sputtered and gasped for air.

A sharp pain ran through Sanji’s leg and he grabbed it; his fingers touched sticky, warm blood that immediately cooled in the cold. His head was foggy, his thoughts hard to grasp. He swallowed, but the movement hurt. His knees pulsated - but he wasn’t allowed to stop yet.

"What do you want from me?” he croaked, pressing the words out of his wounded throat. "How did you survive?”

Vane's mouth twisted into a grin, until another wave broke over him and he spat out water.

"You underestimated me, Blackleg," he rasped. He tried to get up, but Sanji pushed him back into the water. He fervently hoped that the salt water would suppress his powers and that this wouldn’t be another trick. "I can't only teleport myself, you know.”

"But others too, yes, I know that," Sanji pressed out between clenched teeth. He knew that all too well, Zoro's swords cutting through his legs-

"You don't know anything," Vane said and Sanji wanted to kick the grin out of his face. But not yet. First he wanted to know what had driven him to do what he had done. "Why do you think you didn’t manage to get away from here? Your navigator is said to be very talented, but you've always come back to the same place-"

"Leave Nami out of it," Sanji hissed, but at the same moment he faltered. He had suspected that the peculiarities of the New World had prevented them from sailing away from the islands. But did Vane have anything to do with it? After all, he had been spying on them, the Denden-Mushi had always been pointed at their ship. Vane must have been watching them the whole time--

Oh no.

Ice pooled in his stomach and he stared into Vane’s cold eyes. His mouth was dry. He barely dared to make a guess.

"You moved our ship." Vane's grin became wider. Sanji's eyes pricked and he grabbed him by the collar and pushed him deeper into the gravel beneath them, a wave collapsed above him and threatened to drown him. "But why? Why pretend that you defeated us only to get us back then?"

Vane spat out water and coughed.

"Everything has its price, you know," he said. "And yours was too low. I was so _angry_ when I found out that you were still alive. I was denied the bounty. 177 million Beli - but then some stupid soldier discovered you’re alive - but crippled."

Sanji listened to him, slowly loosening his hand on his collar. He couldn't believe his ears. Had it been a matter of money? He didn’t understand anything anymore.

"When our paths crossed again, I could hardly believe my luck. But I couldn’t simply defeat you. You were _worthless_.”

He remembered how he had read about his new bounty in the newspaper. 40 thousand Beli and he had been annoyed about it. Never in a million years would he have thought that he hadn’t been the only one.

"But I defeated you," he whispered. "You were dead! I impaled you!"

"Nothing life-threatening. It’s hard to die when you have the power to teleport everything - objects, other people, yourself. Or even parts of yourself."

The cold crawled up his thighs and made them stiff, but he kept his eyes on Vane. Drops of ice had formed in his steel-gray beard.

"But I made sure that people could see our fight. The citizens of this city have seen enough, as has the Navy. I even had it transmitted. The whole world knows that Blackleg Sanji has recovered from his injury. And your bounty was raised again two days ago and is now higher than before."

Sanji wanted to laugh. Was that the justice the Navy supposedly stood for? Staging his own death to restore glory to a pirate just so he could earn more money? To enslave an entire people just out of this endless greed?

Ice slipped down his cheeks. He had suffered so much because of this man.

"My name is no longer Blackleg Sanji," he said with a firm voice, white breath in the air. Vane's mouth twisted into a grin.

"What do you want to be called then?" He raised one hand and put it on one of his prostheses. "Maybe Legs of Steel Sanji?"

Sanji knocked his hand away. He grabbed his neck with both hands and submerged his head; Vane flinched for the fraction of a second, then his entire body suddenly became unnaturally limp, as if unable to move a muscle. Defenseless in salt water, the weakness of every devil fruit user. The waves splashed up to his elbows and he was soaked to the skin, but he wouldn't let go. There was no way Vane would survive this.

Someone approached with crunching steps on the gravel, but Sanji couldn't take his eyes off the man beneath him. Someone stopped beside him. From the corner of his eye he saw black, heavy boots.

"Is he dead?" Zoro asked. "This time for real?"

Sanji nodded.

As if someone had commanded him, Zoro squatted next to him and pulled his hands away from Vane’s neck, his fingers numb and stiff. The wind tugged at his wet skin and his teeth began to clatter. He watched Zoro Vane pull out of the sea and was about to protest - but then he saw Vane's glassy eyes; a wave broke over him and water flowed into his mouth. Zoro put two fingers on his neck’s artery.

Neither of them spoke while Zoro waited for any sign of a pulse. Sanji wrapped his arms around himself and nervously watched Vane’s fingers. Would they twitch?

"He’s dead." Zoro got up and turned to him. Sanji looked at him doubtfully and Zoro drew one of his katana. "I can cut his head off if you’d prefer that."

Quickly, Sanji shook his head. That would only give him nightmares.

Zoro slid the sword back and stepped up next to him. His body was blue with cold. Sanji leaned against him, ignoring the cold and Zoro wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"The last time we were sure, too," Sanji whispered, not sure if Zoro could hear him over the wind.

"I can only tell you what I know: He has no pulse and you kept him under water for several minutes. It wouldn’t be natural if he were still alive. And he's just a human being."

Sanji nodded, but a sliver of doubt remained. Vane didn't move. Zoro pressed Sanji tighter against his chest, their warm breaths intermingling.

Uncertainty was part of a pirate's life. After this day, maybe Sanji could finally accept it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. I hope I was able to bring all strands together and clear up what happened in the last few chapters. This has been a two-year long journey for me and it feels strange to leave this story behind.
> 
> But don't fret, I'm already working on a new Zoro/Sanji fanfiction! :3 Which will be even longer than this one. So, if you want to read more of me, feel free to subscribe or look out for a winged fic.
> 
> Also, if you just want to talk with me about this fic, other fics, or about One Piece / ZoSan in general, you can always contact me via my tumblr @rejah91.
> 
> Thank you for accompanying me all this way, dear readers.


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